Disclaimer: I do not own La Corda D'Oro.
Chapter 5
Mentor
If it were a normal Sunday morning, Hino Kahoko would have still been sleeping at this hour. But today was not normal and so instead of staying in the comfort of her bed, she found herself groggily making her way to the Tsukimori household.
To say that the violin tutorial she had with Tsukimori Len yesterday was rigorous was an understatement. Kahoko grimaced, dreading the memory. Tsukimori-kun had made her concentrate on basic warm-up exercises for three hours straight. He also did not hesitate to point all her mistakes-- from her posture, to the incorrect drawing of her bow, and even the tilt of her head. He had almost seemed irritated with her but had stayed calm and composed during his mini lectures.
By the time she finally reached home, Hino Kahoko was dead beat. She collapsed on her bed and fell asleep almost instantly.
Sighing audibly, she rounded a corner and walked a few more meters before finding herself outside the gates of his house. She was about to ring the door bell when the front door opened and Hamai Misa stepped out looking surprised at the early morning guest.
"Kahoko, you're quite early," the older woman greeted as she opened the gate and led Kahoko inside.
"Good morning, miss Misa. Tsukimori-kun said I should be here by seven a.m.," Kahoko replied.
Hamai Misa clicked her tongue and chuckled. "Oh dear, he must have been joking."
She almost stumbled on the steps. "Jo-Joking..??"
"Seven a.m. is really very early, even for Len," Hamai Misa explained. "I am almost a hundred percent positive he was joking."
Kahoko blinked rapidly. Tsukimori Len... joking? It was very impossible. Tsukimori Len never joked, especially if music was concerned.
An apologetic smile graced the older woman's lips. "Len just hates waiting you see. So, he does sometimes have this habit of setting a time half an hour or an hour early than he really intended so that he is sure that even if the other party would arrive late, he would not be waiting."
Her cheeks glowered with annoyance and she suddenly had the impulse to break something. Did he know how hard it took her to get out of bed just to arrive this early?
She was very certain of it now: Tsukimo Len was getting revenge on her for breaking his arm.
"Kahoko, dear, would you mind waiting for a while?" Misa asked as she opened the front door for the red-haired. "I'm just going to the newly opened bakeshop just down the street. They sell the best croissant in the neighborhood, and I assure you it tastes so good for breakfast."
Kahoko was about to ask if it would be alright for a world-renowned pianist to be casually walking alone to the bakeshop but Hamai Misa had already waved her goodbye. Sighing, she timidly made her way inside.
The Tsukimori household looked the same yesterday except that there was food prepared on the dinning table. Magnets in the shape of different musical instruments held notes in place on the refrigerator. Draped on the counter was a simple blue apron with simple floral detailing which Kahoko guessed was Hamai Misa's.
Kahoko smiled. All in all, the kitchen looked very much like the one they had at home-- only this was bigger and more expensive looking.
Suddenly feeling she had intruded something very private, she was about to return to the living room when she heard the footsteps of someone coming down the stairs.
"Mother..?"
Kahoko slowly turned to the direction of the stairs and almost fell over from surprise.
There stood a disoriented Tsukimori Len.
"Erm... go-good morning.." she greeted uncertainly. She guessed Tsukimori-kun might still be asleep for his expression did not abruptly change to that of recognition.
She could feel her cheeks grew hot when she gazed at him. She reasoned she might just be feeling embarrassed for him since he did look unfazed or his current state of half-consciousness rendered him incapable of responding.
Still, she couldn't deny the fact that he did look cute. His tousled light blue hair gave him the appearance of a man-child who just woke up from a bad dream, dramatically far from the perfectly combed hair he often wore to school. Add to that the white loose shirt, gray sweat pants and the pair of fluffy dark blue bedroom slippers he wore, he really looked very different.
One, two, three.. And there it was: Tsukimori's amber eyes slowly widened, his jaw dropped in recognition. "H-Hino??"
Scratching her head sheepishly, she stood still, "good morning, Tsukimori-kun."
Coughing coolly, Tsukimori tried to regain whatever dignity he had left, "Why are you here?"
He had the nerve to ask even when it was his fault. "Well.." she tried not to raise her eyebrows, "you said yesterday that I should be here at seven a.m., Tsukimori-kun."
He regarded her for a moment before looking at the wall clock on the left, "You're late. It's 7:15 already."
It was still morning and yet Tsukimori was starting to drive her insane. "What..??"
"Late," he repeated flatly.
"I'm---"
"You'll be doing extra warm-ups because you're late."
"Hey! That's unfair!"
"It's called discipline, Hino."
"Well, you're more late!" she countered as she crossed her arms in front of her chest. "At least I took a bath!"
That effectively silenced the male violinist. Realizing that her statement was quite out of the line, Kahoko was about to open her mouth to apologize when she noticed the sudden accumulation of a red tint on his cheeks.
Tskumori Len was... blushing?
He had a hard time maintaining a straight face when he was busy whacking his brain for a smart retort to side-track the red-haired violinist from his current state --because heaven knows how humiliating the situation was.
Left with no other idea, Tsukimori opted to give Kahoko a cold glare. "It's none of your business, Hino. Excuse me." Turning with all dignity he had managed to salvage, he carefully made his way back upstairs, conscious not to walk too fast lest she might notice how he desperately wanted to vanish as quickly as possible.
Downstairs, Kahoko couldn't help but smile as she remembered Tsukimori-kun's blushing face. After making sure he was out of sight, her smile had developed into a burst of giggles. The little incident was just too precious! Maybe, her day was going to be pleasant after all.
Upstairs, Tsukimori was thinking the exact opposite.
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Kahoko pouted as she performed the warm-ups Tsukimori-kun ordered her to do. She had nothing against the warm-ups-- she knew they did wonders to her playing-- but what bothered her was that Tsukimori was deliberately making her repeat the routine over and over. It seemed pretty obvious that it was his way of getting back at her after the little episode about his state of unpreparedness.
Tsumkimori, now had taken a bath and was neatly dressed, stood beside her, never taking his critical eye off her except for when she looked back at him. He would look away, his lips set in a thin line, as if thinking of something very repulsive. Kahoko guessed that he really was embarrassed to act that way.
"Tsukimori-kun, don't you think---"
"Repeat."
Kahoko forced herself not to grip the bow too hard. "Tsukimori-kun, I'm getting really tired of--"
"Repeat," he said flatly.
"Now, now, Len, don't you think that warm-up is enough?" Hamai Misa asked gently as she entered the music room, music sheet in hand. She gave Kahoko a warm smile, "you're getting bored, aren't you Kahoko dear?"
The red-haired violinist nodded quickly as she flashed Tsukimori a pleading look. His brows furrowed, "fine then."
"Finally!" Kahoko groaned as she stretched her shoulders.
Tsukimori noticed her relax, "we're just getting started, Hino." Kahoko nodded almost gloomily.
Hamai Misa who was silently watching the two chuckled. "Don't worry, Kahoko dear. You won't have any problem with the piece you are going to play for the director." She waved the music sheet she was holding. "Len said you've played this before."
Kahoko's head snapped up in attention. "Really?" she asked, puzzled. "I.. I don't know many songs.." She sent a questioning look at Tsukimori who huffed.
"It's Chopin's Etude no. 3, opus 10." Seeing no flicker of recognition on the female violinist's face, he sighed just as a slow melody resonated from the piano.
Kahoko turned to Hamai Misa who was now sitting on the beautiful white piano, her eyes closed as her fingers moved delicately on the white and black keys. "Hey.. that's.."
"It was your piece in the first selection," Tsukimori finished for her.
Mesmerized by the music, Kahoko stood unmoving, her eyes closed as the music gained tempo, the notes growing louder in crescendo, and finally growing softer, slower, the last note resonating single-handedly.
"Wow..." Kahoko released a breath she did not knew she was holding. "That... was beautiful."
Hamai Misa smiled, "thank you."
"That piece sounds so beautiful with the piano," Kahoko commented softly, her eyes drifting to the golden violin she was holding.
"And yet the director prefers to hear it with the violin," Tsukimori noted almost disapprovingly. He eyed Kahoko. "Really now, I thought you were the only weird one, Hino, playing Chopin in the violin."
"Don't worry Kahoko-dear, nothing's wrong with that," Hamai Misa said with a smile. "I've heard similar versions before and I must say they were very beautiful. I know you'll do well, if not better."
Her cheeks colored at the optimism the world-renowned pianist gave her. "I--I'm not that good-- Tsukimori-kun is so much better," she mumbled to which Tsukimori coughed.
"Have more confidence in yourself, Kahoko-dear," Hamai Misa urged. "I've heard you play before and I must say you play so beautifully."
If possible, she blushed deeper. Tsukimori, noticing how flattered Kahoko was, cleared his throat. "Mother, don't you think we should begin now?"
"Wait-- begin what?" Kahoko asked as Hamai Misa handed the music sheet to her son who placed it on the stand.
"Practice, of course."
"Yes, but I mean--" Kahoko glanced at the older woman who positioned her hands on the piano keys.
"I'm accompanying you for practice today," she answered at the questioning look of the female violinist. "Since you've played this piece before, I thought you could already start practicing with the piano."
The last time I played this piece perfectly was in the concours with the help of Lily's magic!
"Wait! C--Can I practice without the piano first? I mean," mind panicking, Kahoko turned to Tsukimori, "it's really been a long time and uhm.. I can't remember everything, right Tsukimori-kun?"
The male in question sighed. "She does have a point, mother. We might just waste your time if we stop due to mistakes." Kahoko felt a pang of hurt at the obvious criticism.
"I suppose," Hamai Misa assessed slowly as she closed the lid of the piano. "Very well, I expect you to guide her well, Len," she told her son as she moved towards the door and added, "don't push yourself too hard, Kahoko-dear."
Kahoko exhaled audibly when the door closed. She almost humiliated herself in front of the Hamai Misa! How awful it would be that a world-renowned pianist who had been so kind to accompany her for practice would see how clumsy she was of a violin player. And Hamai Misa had been very optimistic.
She felt a growing uneasiness in her stomach. True, there were times that she played Chopin's etude no.3 opus 10 even after Lily's magic vanished. But it never felt the same as during the first selection. It felt as if something was missing.
Glancing at the male violinist beside her, she groaned inwardly. This was going to be a long practice indeed.
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If Tsukimori Len was to assess Hino Kahoko's playing, he would say that she really was improving. She hit the notes correctly—well, a little sloppily in some phrases—but still correctly. She was following each crescendo and decrescendo religiously, and her timing was almost perfect.
This was why he could not understand why her shoulders slumped in disappointment as the last note reverberated from the violin. She sighed as she lowered the instrument.
He didn't really care, and yet—"what's wrong?"
Sighing again, she fell to her knees, careful not to let the violin hit—not even graze—the floor. "It just doesn't sound the same."
Did she just insult his violin? The nerve of this woman! He raised his eyebrows. "Like I've said before, that violin—"
"No, no, it's not the violin," she clarified hurriedly. "I mean..," she pointed at herself, "me. My playing."
"What a brilliant assessment," he commented sarcastically. What was wrong with this woman? Wasn't she supposed to be happy? That her playing had sounded different because, well, she improved? Really, GenEd students really did not understand—
"I couldn't feel it..."
Feel..? He stopped his train of thoughts as he looked at the female violinist still deep in contemplation. She was staring at the violin but not really seeing anything, her eyes lost, as if searching.
"When your mother played, it..." her hands slowly traced a string, "it.. it really felt so warm and peaceful and," she bit her lower lip as she searched for the right words, "..and so much more." Slowly, she raised her golden orbs to meet his.
Unconsciously, he took a small step back, his eyebrows furrowed. Why was she looking at him as if she expected him to understand? She, of all people, should know that he didn't—he didn't, for goodness sake. He didn't give a damn on what to feel as long as he played the notes perfectly, so how could he understand?
"I want others to feel it too, that warmth," she continued sadly as she lowered her eyes. "I guess for a prodigy such as yourself, Tsukimori-kun, it must be really easy to deliver a moving performance."
Didn't she know that if people were moved by his performance, it was because they were awestruck by his technique, and definitely not by the emotions he could (or better yet could not) evoke?
Damn this woman. One moment she was bubbly, noisy and annoying, the next moment she was gloomy, silent and much more annoying that way. His eyes twitched in dread—wait—was she going to cry now..!?
This was why he didn't like girls. Unable to take it any longer, he blurted, "I'll—I'll see what I can do."
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Peering through the open door, Hamai Misa scanned the room for the red-haired violinist. She found her sitting on the floor, her knees drawn close to her body. "Kahoko dear?" she called gently to which the female in question looked up.
Poor Len, Hamai Misa thought as she assessed the downcast female violinist. No wonder Len was very distressed when he went to get her.
"Talk to her." She looked up to see her son looking regally harassed.
"Her?"
"Her!" he repeated compellingly, pointing towards the stairs. "She's crying."
The cookie sheet she was holding nearly fell from her hands as she suddenly looked up. "Crying? What did you do?"
"I didn't do anything. She just started to cry," he responded rather defensively like a child. "I can't understand her."
"Why?" immediately, she washed her hands, ready to go upstairs. "Did you ask her what's wrong?"
Her son hesitated before replying. "Yes. And I did not understand her."
Raising her eyebrows quizzically she proceeded upstairs. When she noticed that her son was not following, she stopped, "you're not coming?"
He sighed and shook his head. "I can't understand her anyway."
Kahoko looked surprised for a second but still she smiled guiltily. "Miss Misa, I—I should be practicing, I know—"
"Hush dear," the older woman patted the younger one's shoulders. "You can tell me if there's anything wrong."
The smile slowly faded as Kahoko lowered her head, "I can't do it, miss Misa.." she started in a small voice.
"You can't..?"
She nodded. "I can't play as—as expressively as you do Miss Misa..I—I can't..."
"My dear—"
The younger woman shook her head, her shoulders trembling. "I don't know what's missing—I just can't…"
The pianist watched as the violinist clenched her fists in frustration. "Kahoko dear," the pianist started after a long pause, "have you ever been in love?"
Round golden eyes suddenly grew wide in surprise. The question was definitely not in the ones she expected to hear. "What—?"
Smiling softly, Hamai Misa reached for Kahoko's hand and pulled her to her feet. Her eyes twinkled. "So, have you been in love, Kahoko dear? Is there a guy you consider special to you right now?"
There were many people she considered special: her family, her fellow participants in the concours, her friends—but, was Hamai Misa pertaining to that—the other kind of love? If she were in love that kind, wasn't she supposed to act all heart-struck like Nao and Nami when they talk animatedly about the guys they like? Shouldn't her heart beat like crazy at the mere thought? Shouldn't she be blushing right now and stuttering like those heroines from Nao's manga, as the face of that one man she 'loves' surface on her mind's eye?
She contemplated fervently-- was this really going to help her playing?
When the clueless expression on Kahoko's face did not waver and instead developed to an expression of deep thought, Hamai Misa almost felt relief that her son was not in the room. One sided..? Smiling at the violinist, she settled herself on the piano. "When you play, you create an image, a setting with your music. You not only express your feelings but you also pull your audience to feel the same." She paused, making sure Kahoko understood. The violinist nodded. "It's the same with this piece. When I played it, I wanted you to feel the same as what I feel, to see what I was seeing."
The first few measures resounded softly. "Did you know that this piece actually has accompanying lyrics? Not by Chopin but by Bob Russell in 1950."
"R-really? I—I did not know that.."
Gradually flustering, Hamai Misa continued playing. "I- This song is actually very dear to me. This—well, my husband played and sang this song to me when we were in Paris some twenty years ago."
"We were quite young then, you know, just taking a leisurely walk on the streets of Paris one cold night." Hamai Misa's cheeks were already glowing red. "And then he took out his violin and played this.. his.. his eyes never left mine as he sang—never caring that he sounded flat." She laughed as the last notes fleetingly surfaced and disappeared. "Oh, this is embarrassing!"
"No.. not at all.." There was a gentle smile on Kahoko's face. Hamai Misa was deeply in love with her husband. It was the reason why she felt warm and breathless just by listening to her—Hamai Misa was able to convey her feelings of love to her audience. And because she had never felt this overwhelming kind of love, Kahoko may not be able to match the pianist's passion to the piece...
Even then, "it must feel so good, to be deeply in love, I mean."
A smile more radiant than she had seen before graced the older woman's lips. "I have little faith in my singing, but would you like to hear the lyrics?"
Kahoko nodded enthusiastically. If maybe she could grasp even just a little of that feeling with the words, then maybe, she would be able play it too.
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Tsukimori Len was silent as he listened to her humming with her eyes closed. It was worrying that she was deeply absorbed to her thoughts which led to her not paying attention to where she was going. But he was there beside her, and thus, he had taken the duty of steering her to avoid elevated portions of the road or avoid bumping with other people. It had been the case for the last ten minutes-- annoying, yes it was-- but if she was that focused on music, he didn't want to disturb her.
After the talk with his mother, Kahoko looked and felt revitalized and was so eager to practice that time flew so fast. Exhaustion only came three hours after dinner. It was already late and so Hamai Misa asked her son to walk the red-haired violist home.
Seventh, or was it eighth? He had lost count on how many times she repeated the same tune—Chopin's etude no. 3. Sighing deeply, he pulled her upper arm to prevent her from crashing against the lamppost.
The tune stopped and her eyes flew open. "Oh, I- I'm sorry.."
Shaking his head, he continued walking, matching her pace. "You," he coughed, willing himself to sound nonchalant, "you seem absorbed on that tune."
"Am I?" she asked eagerly, her lips forming a beautiful (NOT beautiful, Len thought) smile. "Your mother really taught me a lot of things, Tsukimori-kun. I'm so grateful."
"She did?"
"Yes!" She laughed as she skipped ahead of him. Pausing, she faced him, her hand clasped together on her back while holding the blue violin case just as the light flickered on her face. "I think.. I think I'm getting closer to your world, Tsukimori-kun." Tsukimori's breath caught on his throat as she smiled. "I think I understand more and more about music, not just the notes but of what feelings they invoke. You're really lucky, Tsukimori-kun, to be able to experience all of these from such a young age. Ah! Truly lucky!"
Tsukimori watched as Kahoko gazed at a distance. He really did not understand women. They are impulsive, unpredictable, and temperamental. But did they have this side to them as well? Contemplative? When Kahoko tilted her head and fixed her golden orbs on him, he felt as if she was seeing past him.
"Maybe—maybe someday I can enter your world, Tsukimori-kun. Little by little," she flashed a bright smile. Pivoting gracefully, she continued walking and she resumed humming.
Had she really matured as a musician this much? Somehow, a warm feeling seeped into his heart, a feeling similar to the pride felt by a mentor as he watch his apprentice achieve greater things.
"I—I'll be waiting for you," he said quietly but loud enough for Kahoko to hear. "So.. don't get too cocky. You still have a lot of learning to do," he paused before smiling—it was a small smile but was gentle. "Hino Kahoko."
Seeping from her chest was a warm feeling that coursed through her veins, propagating throughout her whole being. He was finally treating her as an equal, worthy of being allowed to his world. She couldn't help but feel the bubbling joy inside of her as she nodded, accepting his challenge.
And Tsukimori Len felt content. The girl he had witnessed struggling with music was finally facing it head-on. The strength of her determination really astounded him. Her character, her passion in doing the thing she loves –they prompt him to strive harder. Everything about her always stirred something in him—was it his long forgotten passion to enjoy music?
Whatever it was, he would always be watching her.
To be Continued…
The title of the song Hamai Misa mentioned is No Other Love. It is a lovely song, try listening to it some time.
Yes, this story is romance but I just had to insert Tsukimori's and Hino's respect for each other as musicians. Especially for Tsukimori, I think before he develops that romantic love for Hino, he would first have that deep respect for her as a musician. What do you think? Please Review!