Podie1 Don't worry, here it is!!! LOL. I'm not always evil, I swear. I actually consider myself to be a good person... most of the time ;)

Shadow

The sound of the door slamming just shook her to the core. It seemed to jolt her into some kind of action. Calling out for Mike didn't actually work and she wasn't that far gone to not realise that if he didn't hear the first time he certainly wasn't going to hear her now. Standing up slowly, she walked over to her bag and rumaged around for her cellphone. Finding it quite quickly she flipped it open and dialed his number, placing the phone to her ear and expecting to hear a ringing sound but what she got was 'You have reached the voicemail service...' Alex snapped her cell shut and cursed, "Dammit." Giving a moment to wonder what the point of having one was if you were just going to switch it off.

She sighed and stood still for a moment, her eye catching sight of her medication packet on the coffee table forcing her to remember that she still needed to take them. She walked back over to it and picked them up, reading the label and searching for the word 'drowsy', the moment she found it she dropped it back on the table, she didn't want them if they were going to send her to sleep. She needed to find Mike, not sleep it off.

Looking around the room she knew what she had to do, she headed for the door but stopped short of actually opening it. She looked down at herself and noticed she was still wearing Mike's clothes, the button-up shirt and the slacks. Shaking her head she quickly turned and headed back towards the bag Mike had brought over for her and she looked in it to find some clothes.

Picking out alot of underwear before she actually got to what she was looking for. She had to at least smile when she thought about the fact there was more underwear in the bag than there were clothes she could be seen in. She knew where he'd spent alot of his time then. But her smile faded fast when she remembered the words he'd said.

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He had just settled into his seat, and made himself comfortable with a drink in one hand and a remote control in the other, the History Channel coming life before him as he prepared himself for an evening alone when there was knock at his door.

It was the knock of urgency and desperation so he quickly stood up and walked over to the door, opening it partially to see who it was without unhooking the chain, but when he saw who it was he closed the door again and quickly took the chain off before opening the door fully. "Eames?" Bobby asked, confused and concerned, quickly motioning for her to come in. She seemed anxious and worried as she walked in and looked at her partner. "What's going on? Aren't you meant to be in bed?" He asked, looking at her up and down, taking note of the fact she was wearing her own normal clothes. He would've believed this morning and her kidnapping hadn't have happened if it wasn't the pale complexion and the tear strains around her eyes.

"I can't find him!" She spoke quietly but breathlessly, like she'd been running all over the city to look for him.

"Find who?" Bobby asked, before quickly adding, "Logan?"

She nodded, sadly. "Yes, I can't find him." Bobby gently placed his hands on her arms and guided her to his sofa.

"He left you?" Bobby couldn't mask the anger in his voice.

Alex shook her head, "That, that doesn't matter! The point is he's upset and I can't seem to get hold of him." Bobby could see that her worry for Mike had taken over any kind of fear or residual concern she might've had for herself.

"What happened?" Bobby asked, hoping to calm her down.

Alex sighed, trying not to cry again and annoyed with herself for feeling like she would, "He said it was his fault and that he didn't know... I don't know what happened!" Alex covered her face with her hands and Bobby looked at her, feeling a little lost and unsure what she wanted him to do. Taking several steadying breaths she lifted her head back up and looked at him, "We have to find him."

Bobby shook his head, "No, not 'we'. You have to rest." She moved to stand up before he stopped her from doing so. "I'll look for him, if you promise you'll rest."

She looked at him for a moment, "That's blackmail."

He nodded, "Yes, yes it is."

Alex looked at him and thought about it before slowly saying, "Fine."

"Deal." Bobby agreed before standing up and pulling his cell phone out of his pocket.

She sighed, "I've already tried calling him."

Bobby shook his head, "I'm calling Carolyn." Alex frowned but she couldn't get the chance to speak because it seemed she'd answered her phone. She listened to the conversation one-sided but she basically got the gist of it. Bobby wanted Carolyn to go with him because as a former partner, she could be useful in knowing where he'd go for solitude. As Bobby knew from experience, a partner often knows something about the other that their girlfriend/boyfriend wouldn't generally know. Once the call ended, Bobby looked at Alex, "Please, stay here and rest. We'll find him."

Bobby hoped that for her sake they found him.

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Alex was left alone just a few moments later, Bobby had left to meet Carolyn so that they could start searching immediately. This left Alex to her own thoughts. She'd never felt so confused before, she didn't know whether she was sad or hurt, worried or depressed and she wasn't exactly sure if she was handling it the right way either. She knew it was dangerous to second guess yourself, but she wished she'd not asked Mike why he was sorry. If she hadn't have asked, he would never have felt the need to explain and therefore he wouldn't have left. She felt so alone, so empty. She hadn't realised how much she'd grown to depend on him until he'd slammed that door. Of course, she also knew that if she wasn't in the unusual fragile state she was in now, she wouldn't have exactly let him leave either. She would have dragged him back into the apartment and argued with him for all she was worth.

Her thoughts also rested on the day she'd come back from the hospital and she'd been gripped by the unfamiliar sense of fear as she'd tried to go home. Was that what started it? Maybe Mike couldn't handle someone who was depressed? She's supposed to be stronger than this and it's not fair for her to place the burden on him.

Looking around Bobby's apartment she felt her head swim and her mind overflow with thoughts and feelings that she didn't want. But when she caught sight of an envelope with her name on it in Bobby's handwriting, she stopped thinking and feeling. Curiosity sent her over towards the shelf where this small white envelope sat. Picking it up slowly she realised it wasn't holding anything but a key and a tiny piece of paper. Confused, she pulled both items out of it and once she'd read the note she knew what to do. Putting the key in her pocket, she now knew how to make this better, she had to go home.

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Each swing, each punch was delivered with every part of him. All his anger going into that one small little punching bag hanging from the ceiling by some rope. Of course, his anger was making his aim completely terrible and useless, and although it was meant to help, it wasn't. Grunting and panting at the late night exercise, Mike just kept pounding his fists into it. Ignoring the few people that were in the gym this late giving him strange looks for being so aggressive with the punching bag as they were exercising off the extra weight and basically improving their physical fitness.

He hadn't exactly headed here first, his first destination had been the local bar but it was too busy, too full, so he just came here instead; intent on causing serious damage to something. Feeling a presence stand near him, he didn't have to look to see who it was. "How'd you find me?" He asked, not stopping the pounding, not turning to look at them.

"We traced you from a bar, all the way to here." Carolyn told him, looking at Bobby and then back at her former partner. "That, and I remembered seeing a Gym Membership Card on your desk." Mike didn't respond to her, he just kept punching the bag, each strike getting more and more aggressive.

Bobby looked at them and then around the room before speaking to him, "Aren't you meant to be looking after someone?" He asked, not hiding the accusation from his voice.

Mike stopped punching for a moment to look at him, sarcastically saying, "Yeah, I'm doing such a grand job of it so far, aren't I?" As soon as he finished speaking, the bag was back to being pounded.

Bobby rubbed his the back of his neck, "So instead of being concerned for her welfare, you're just feeling sorry for yourself?" It wasn't really a question.

This caused Mike to shoot him a deadly look. "I don't want to hear this. You don't know what I'm thinking."

"I do." Carolyn said, quietly, causing Mike to point the deadly look at her.

Mike snorted, "So they're handing out telepathy at Special Victims Unit?" A fake, amused grin on his face and Carolyn rolled her eyes at the attitude but she'd expected as much.

"No." Carolyn replied. "I just know you."

"Oh yeah?" Mike asked, with slight tone of disbelief. "Go ahead then. Enlighten me."

Carolyn looked at Bobby and then back at Mike, "I know that you love her." Mike closed his eyes and walked over to the wooden bench by the grey wall, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around his neck. Bobby and Carolyn followed, she sat down next to him whether he wanted her to or not and she continued talking, "I know that you're worried you're gonna make a mistake. That you're not capable of helping her though this." Mike refused to look at her as she spoke softly to him as if she really could read his mind, and that was actually quite annoying. "And I also know that you're wrong."

Mike looked at her, incredulously. "Yeah? How'd you know that?"

Carolyn smiled, "You don't need any kind of ability here, Mike. She just needs you there for support."

He spent a few moments thinking about that before turning to her and saying, "I'll bet you're good at Special Victims, how about you save it for them, huh?" He stood up and started to leave but Bobby grabbed his arm.

Mike looked down at his hand but Bobby didn't remove it, "She - she needs ya." Bobby removed his hand when he realised that Mike wasn't going to walk away, "Don't leave her now." Bobby paused for a beat, taking note of Mike's face and how this could go either way, although Bobby hoped it would go positively. "Look, she really needs you. She turned up at my apartment in tears because she was worried about you." another pause, "I've got no idea why but she loves you. Don't do this to her." Mike pursed his lips together as he looked at them both, standing in the middle of his gym, all of them unaware of the little audience that had developed.

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Every sound in the entire building was being intensified by her fear of it.

Every movement out of the corner of her eye was being created by her own anxiety.

The door even creaked as she opened it, making her take a step back but she continued to creep into her house. This was her home and she refused to be beaten by it or by some serial killer. The lights flicked on and she peered into the living area as she prepared herself for something to jump out at her.

It didn't.

Letting out that breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding, Alex slowly switched on every light in the house until she was satisfied that she was the only one there. Now as she stood in the middle of her living area she finally took it all in.

Something looked different.

Alex's face screwed up into a frown as the confusion filled her. Since when had she had blinds up at the windows? She felt absolutely certain that they used to be curtains. Weren't they? Shaking her head, she put her bag down on the floor, the one she'd fetched from Mike's apartment so that she had her medication with her, although she hadn't taken it yet.

She walked through the other rooms in the house and stopped when she reached the bathroom to notice she now had sliding doors made from frosted glass around the shower instead of the cream curtain she'd had before. Alex's frown deepened. When had they done this?

This is when she remembered Polly, her mind suddenly remembering the little pet she'd owned for a couple of years now. She quickly rushed back out into the living room to see that it was true. Polly wasn't there. That hadn't been a figment of her imagination. She refused to cry over it but the sight of the empty cage was almost horrifying. So much so, she covered it with the blanket from the sofa. Closing her eyes as she tried to steady herself and not think about how much she was alone right now and how much she wanted to be with Mike.

Why hadn't Bobby called her yet? Where was Mike? She didn't want to be alone.

Sliding down onto the floor she pulled her knees up towards her chest and tried to ignore the sounds around her and steady her own breathing. Feeling that same fear she'd felt before start to pull at her again, start to make her want to quickly leave but she refused to let it do so. She was a fighter. She buried her head in her arms, forming a human shaped ball on the floor of her living area as she did so, chanting to herself.

I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

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Bobby scratched his head after taking a second search of his apartment. "Hey, guess what?" Mike asked, sarcastically. Bobby looked at him and Carolyn, matching their concerned faces. "She's not here."

Bobby sighed, "I can see that."

Mike held out his hands, "Well?"

"Would she have gone back to Mike's?" Carolyn asked them both but they both shook their head. That wouldn't have made any sense for her to do so.

Bobby suddenly pointed towards a shelf and took several big strides before he reached it, picking up a small white envelope that was empty. "What?" Mike asked, confused.

Bobby looked at them both before saying, "She's gone home."

Mike looked stunned for a moment before he completely charged out of the door. Bobby and Carolyn were stunned by his immediate reaction but they recovered quickly, taking after him and hoping to catch up with him before he left without them. Mike's only concern as he reached his car was that the last time Alex had been to that house she'd had a panic attack and he wasn't sure it was best for her to be there yet with everything that was still going through her head. Bobby and Carolyn just managed to get into the car before Mike pulled away.

They didn't say anything about it though, they were desperate to get to her as well, although they doubted they were as desperate as Mike.

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TBC