A/N This chapter is rated T for the first part.

Shadow

Tangled. Twisted. Entwined together and peaceful.

Sensations that she recognised, but hadn't felt for quite some time, were tingling all over her body and her soul. Strange but hypnotic. The sensations that were rippling around her were sending the shadow, that had been encompassing her entire being, far away from them right now.

The only sound in the room was rushed breathing and low moans. Again, forcing the shadow to become out of mind and if it could be seen, it would be out of sight too.

Time was standing still as they moved together. In time. In rhythm. Healing. Emotional. Sharing. Touching.

Words escaped her, she didn't have anything to say. The words 'I love you' seem so out-of-date and unrequired. He knew that, she knew that. When she'd asked him to hold her, he'd known what she had meant. She wanted comfort. She was seeking the kind of comfort only he could give to her. She wanted him to help her release the demons that were threatening to send her into the nut house, where she would feel forgotton. She just wanted him. She wanted to forget everything else.

This was the only way two people could really do that together without speaking words. She needed to be reminded that life goes on and he needed to be reminded that this wasn't a permanent change and that he needed to feel too.

Loved.

That's what they were telling each other, wordlessly reminding each other of that fact. And as their breathing became irratic and their movements became hectic, they knew it was true. When they became still and breathless, they knew that it would never change.

The feeling of her heart pulsing inside and the sound of his heart pounding above her just made her feel relieved and it provoked a sensation of happiness within her. Happiness she never thought she'd feel again.

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Of course, most happiness was short lived. Rain always came back after the sunshine, didn't it? But she felt different inside, like she now had the strength to take this all on. Sitting in that small seat, looking at the woman sitting opposite her and wondering what she thought of all of this, but she'd never get a straight answer.

"You seem different to when we last spoke, would you like to tell me why?"

Olivet looked at Alex with a patient look, one that was starting to make Alex feel like she was less than 3 foot tall and shrinking fast. Alex smiled a little, "I don't know."

Olivet nodded, "Did you seek the support that we spoke about?" Alex didn't say anything so Olivet had no choice but to continue, "I know that you're unwilling to share your thoughts and feelings with me. But, that's the point of you being here." Olivet looked at her for a moment, "If you're not speaking here, who are you speaking to?"

Alex finally decided to answer one of her questions, "Mike." she told her, "And Bobby."

Olivet felt relief inside, she'd finally been given an answer that was worth something, "If I remember correctly, Bobby is your police partner and Mike is your boyfriend?" Alex nodded. "How do you feel about the support they're giving you?" Alex frowned as she thought about the question, unsure of the answer. How did she feel about that? What was she supposed to say? "Okay, let's try one at a time. Bobby? How long have you known him?"

"5 years." Alex replied, after having to quickly count up how many years she'd known the oddball detective.

"That's a long time for a partner. How supportive do you feel he's been?"

Alex shrugged, "He's been very supportive." Olivet looked at her, "What do you want me to say? He's my partner. He's Bobby. He's there if I need to speak to him about it but it's not like I'm going to cry in his arms over it."

Olivet felt some victory. "Why not?"

"Because he's my partner."

"So, there are boundaries that exist between the two of you?"

"Yes." Alex thought that should have been obvious. "He's my partner and I consider him a close friend."

"What about Mike?" Alex shot her a look. "I know we spoke about him before but you weren't very forthcoming."

"What about him?" Alex asked, not choosing to be very forthcoming about him now either.

"How supportive do you feel he's been?"

"He's been - uh - more supportive than I would've expected."

"Do you love him?" Olivet asked, as Alex shot her a deadly look.

"Is this really about him or me?"

"It's about you and your feelings." Olivet replied, softly. "Is the answer yes?"

"Yes." Alex hesitated to answer, simply because she found that revealing her feelings to strangers was uncomfortable and Olivet could see her discomfort from the way Alex began to fidget in her seat.

"Do you feel that he loves you?"

Alex looked at Olivet before replying, "Yes." She knew that because he'd just confirmed it to her. She'd been afraid that he didn't love her anymore, that she wasn't the same person she'd been when they'd met but he'd proven to her that that her fears had been unfounded.

Olivet smiled at her, sensing that she was in her own thoughts. "Why don't you tell me what you're thinking?"

"I don't want to." That was the honest truth, Alex didn't want to.

"You feel that your thoughts are private." Olivet commented. "There's nothing wrong with that."

"Good." Alex nodded, choosing to fold her arms across her chest and sit quietly.

Olivet watched her do that and she had to admire the stubborness of this woman, even if it was interfering with her assessment of her. "Last time you were here you spoke about your kidnapping. We spoke about how you felt like you'd not done your duty to save the other woman you were trapped with." Alex numbly nodded. "Have you thought any more of that?" Alex suddenly heard her scream again and she closed her eyes. Olivet was reminding her of the dead woman that existed in her mind. Olivet softly smiled and nodded, "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want."

Alex couldn't understand why she'd ask a question and then decide she didn't want to know the answer. "Can I go?"

"Yes." Olivet nodded, "But this just means you're avoiding."

"I'm not avoiding." Alex told her, stubbornly, as she stood up and headed for the door.

"What do you call it?" Olivet asked, as Alex reached the door.

"Moving on." Alex told her and then she opened the door and quickly hurried out of the building.

She was walking so fast, she was moving at such as a speed that she didn't see anyone in front of her. Without looking she bumped straight into the alarmed man. "Oh, I'm sorry." Picking his bag up off the floor, the man looked at her dumbfounded.

"You should watch where you're going." He told her, angrily.

"So should you." Alex told him before turning away and walking away. She figured it takes two people to bump into each other, not just one. Her walk turned into a steady run as she quickly headed anywhere.

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Bobby was buried neck deep in paperwork. He found that having to do most of the work himself meant that it was less fun and much harder. He hadn't really realised how much he'd relied on Alex's ability to help him get his work done as well as her own. When he's phone began ringing, he had to start looking for it. He knew it was amongst the mass of papers and files but he couldn't find it.

Standing still, in the interview room, he carefully listened for it and followed the direction of sound till he reached a wad of papers and books. Lifting some of it up, he found he's cell and quickly flipped it open to answer before the person gave up on ringing him altogether. "Goren."

"Bobby?" Bobby instantly recognised Alex's voice and the desperation in it.

"Eames? Are you alright?" He knew that that was a stupid question, he could tell she wasn't.

"Could you please fetch me? I tried to call Mike but I can't reach him." She sounded so small and frightened that for a moment Bobby wasn't sure that it was his partner he was talking to.

"Uh, Logan is in interrogation." Bobby offered as explanation. He'd seen him and his new partner head there earlier. "Where are you? At Olivet?"

"Yes. Are you coming?"

"Y-yes. I will be there." Bobby quickly slapped his cell shut and grabbed his coat, heading straight out of the squadroom at a quick pace. He'd heard the urgency in her voice and it caused him to worry about her.

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"I'm not going back."

Each word was pronounced carefully so that there was no misunderstanding and so that later he couldn't deny she'd said those words. Her determination set on high and her stubborness turned up to full.

"Eames." Bobby began, looking at her as she sat down in her living room with a cup of coffee. "It's going to be long and difficult. You can't give up now."

"You wanna bet?" Alex asked, sarcastically. Looking up at him sharply.

"Once you start, it gets easier." Bobby tried but Alex shook her head. Bobby sighed, looking at her now it seemed he'd never get through to her but he had to try. "What was it that she said that made you change your mind?"

Alex turned away from him, "Nothing."

"It has to be something." Bobby insisted.

She shook her head, pointing at herself. "It was me. I don't want to go back. You're not gonna change my mind about this, either." She was angry and he could tell.

"Maybe not, but do you seriously think you'll be allowed back if you don't keep going?"

She shot him a look, "Is that what this is about? Me going back to work?" Bobby took a step back, surprised at her anger and how it seemed to be aimed toward him, "What? You don't want a different partner?"

"Eames, this isn't about me." Bobby told her, sincerely. "And no, I don't want a different partner."

Alex snorted, "Well, tough, because it looks like that's what you're getting." She turned away from him completely and took a deep breath, trying to steady herself.

"Eames?" Bobby tried but she didn't look round, she didn't acknowledge him. "Alex?" She moved a little and it showed him that she was listening. "Alex, don't you think you're coming back?"

She shrugged and turned to him, "Maybe, maybe not."

"Okay, I know that you are ... coming back."

"Bobby, I don't know about that." She didn't seem so angry anymore, she was worried. "I can't forget about it. I can't forget about her." Bobby looked at her, unsure of which 'her' she was referring to. "Olivet told me before that I had survivor guilt."

"I know." Bobby told her and she believed him. Since when did anything ever pass by him without him being aware of it. "She can help you through that." Alex seemed so deep in thought that Bobby wasn't sure she'd heard him but he didn't want to interrupt her because she seemed to be deeply considering something she thought as important.

Something Olivet said was now stuck in Alex's mind. About how much support she received from Bobby and Mike. Maybe she didn't need to speak to her, maybe it should be them she was completely talking to. They knew her better for a start and she didn't want to feel like she was just 3 foot tall anymore. She was brought out of her musings by the sound of her cell ringing.

Visibly shaking herself she looked at Bobby, who had a curious look on his face. She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and quickly answered it. Bobby knew he was the moment her face softened and she seemed to relax; it was Mike. Obviously he'd discovered the missed call on his phone. He listened to her as she explained why she'd called him and that she was at home and okay now. Bobby wanted to say that Mike should come home straight away because she wasn't okay but he kept his mouth shut. But an idea was forming in Bobby's mind...

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TBC