This is the final chapter of this story, I hope you enjoy it...as always, I think it sucks, but thanks for reading. I love you guys!

Warning, filled with lots of stuff, gross out humor, hummers, and I don't mean the gas guzzler that is made by my former employer who can kiss my ass and oh yeah, cave exploration of the DiNozzo-kind.

Ziva awoke suddenly, lifting her head with a groan, she extended her arm outward towards Tony's side of the bed, but he wasn't there, She turned over to a sitting position, her eyelids heavy, looking groggy. A light flickered through the small opening in the bedroom door. She pulled back the bed coverings and slid out of the bed, setting her feet on the floor. She grabbed the blanket from the bed and made her way to the door, slowly opening it.

"I know...heh, yeah, but it's more like she's taking care of me, ya know?...what?" Tony laughed, sitting in his recliner talking on the phone, "Don't be too shocked, all I did was take them out of a box and put 'em in the oven....heh, yeah." Ziva walked over to Tony, climbing into his lap, she wrapped herself in the blanket and curled up next to him, placing her head on his chest, "Hey, uh, I have to go, okay?...Merry Christmas to you, too, Abby...yeah, bye." He hung up the phone, setting it down on the arm of the chair, "Hey...you okay?"

Ziva rubbed her head slowly against Tony's chest, "Just cold."

"I can turn up the thermostat." Tony attempted to get up.

"No." Ziva said, looking up at Tony, "Stay."

"Okay." Tony whispered, he slid his arm around Ziva, holding her tightly.

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Ziva's eyes fluttered, stirring from her deep slumber. She yawned, smacking her lips together and turned her face, rubbing it against Tony's chest. She looked up at him, he was smiling at her, "Sleep well?"

Ziva leaned away from Tony, stretching, "How long have I been here?"

"About 4 hours."

Ziva opened her eyes wide, "You have been sitting there for 4 hours, just holding me?"

"Heh. You told me to stay."

Ziva smiled, "Okay, I have to go." She said, untangling herself from the blanket.

"You have to work today?"

"No, I have to pee." Ziva chuckled, shuffling towards the bathroom, "Then maybe a hot shower."

"Heh." Tony grinned, "Lock the door this time!"

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Ziva walked into the living room drying her hair with a towel, still wearing Tony's t-shirt, she lowered the towel around her neck not seeing Tony, "Hello?"

"I'm in the kitchen." Tony called out.

Ziva moved to the kitchen doorway, "What are you doing?" Tony turned around, his hands were covered in a white substance, "Hey, you said you would let me watch!"

"Come again?" Tony asked confused.

Ziva laughed, making Tony look even more confused, she stepped to the side, getting a better view, "Well...darn!" She exclaimed, seeing the turkey covered in butter.

"What, you don't like turkey?"

"Oh, no, I just thought it was something else."

"Huh? What did you think it was?"

Ziva laughed harder, "Never mind."

Tony shrugged his shoulders and turned to the kitchen sink, he looked at faucet, then at his hands, "Ummm." He looked back to Ziva, holding up his hands, "Heh. It seems I'm in quite the nasty predicament."

Ziva rolled her eyes and moved to the sink, turning on the water, she spun back, taking Tony by the wrists, "You are like a child, you know that?" She took his hands and placed them under the water, squirting liquid soap all over them and slowly rubbed at his hands. She shook her head at how much butter was on his hand, "Just like a man, always over doing it."

Tony took a hold of Ziva's hands, "So, what am I...a man or a child, hmm?" She looked up at him, their eyes met, he smiled and tilted his head down, kissing her. He eased back, slightly rotating his head away from her, "Sorry."

Ziva aggressively pulled Tony's head back towards her, kissing him with all her might. He responded by lifting her, sitting her on the edge of the sink, sliding his body between her legs. She moved her hands down to his pants, her fingers working feverishly as they continued to kiss.

Tony took a fist of her hair, tugging, she let out a whimper as he devoured the side of her neck. Her hands slid down the front of his pants, she pulled hard, snapping the button off and breaking the zipper. He looked down, then back at her, "Heh."

Ziva wrapped one arm around his neck, kissing him, her other hand capture his hardness, her fingertips teased along his length.

Tony reached back, pushing her legs up, his hands caressing beneath her knees as she slowly started to kneel, "Where are you going?" Ziva asked with a smile.

Tony raised his head, giving her quick kiss, "Spelunking." He grinned and quickly fell to his knees, pulling her shirt over her head.

Ziva pulled on the collar of her shirt, gazing downward, "Wha...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." She gasped hard. Her eyes slammed shut, letting out a series of lite moans, her arms shot back, searching for anything to brace herself with. She arched her back, pushing against the wall with her hands, her breathing heavied as she got closer and closer. Her entire body started to shake, her eyes opened and let out a roar of primal bliss.

Tony rose from his feast, he kissed her, letting Ziva taste her sweetness, her eyes closed, reveling in her orgasm. He ran his hand under the still running water, pushing back her hair, splashing water over her face and neck, before kissing her again. He pulled her close to his chest and like instinct, she wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck the best she could. He reached out, turning off the water and twisted away from the sink, seeing the raw poultry on the counter, "Sorry, Butterball, I've got other stuffings to attend to." A smirking Tony announced, carrying Ziva out of the kitchen.

Tony slipped out of his sweat pants, sliding into bed. Ziva was facing away from him laying on her side. He pressed his chest against her back, cuddling with her. He buried his nose into her hair, taking a deep breath. He pulled away hearing her sniffling, "Ziva...are you crying?" He brushed her hair behind her ear, "What's wrong?"

"No." Ziva answered, crying.

"Jeez, was I THAT bad?"

Ziva tilted her head slightly towards Tony, "My legs do not work, Tony, what does that tell you?"

"Heh. Jelly legs." Tony smirked, but that quickly faded away, seeing that wasn't the problem. He placed his hand on her shoulder, "Then what's wrong, baby? Talk to me."

"I..." Ziva turned over to her back, "I-I...I just feel like I cheated on you with you."

"H-huh?"

"Do you know why I did not talk to you for over a week?"

"No, tell me."

"The day before the accident, you and I..."

"Made love."

Ziva turned, facing Tony and smiled, "You remember?"

Tony wiped away her tears, "No." He pressed his lips to her forehead, then gently on the lips, "I felt it." He moved his hand to his heart, "Here." He started to move his hand down more when she laughed.

"There, too, yes?" She smiled.

"Heh. And I know you don't celebrate Christmas, but I have a Chris, umm, Hannnuuuumas gift for you?" He said, gritting his teeth.

"Just give me the damn present already!" She smirked and sat up, covering her top with the bed coverings.

"Ahh, I don't get to see boobies?"

Ziva rolled her eyes, but quickly flashed him, "Happy?"

"Heh." Tony turned over, grabbing something from his nightstand drawer, he swung back, holding out a small black jewelry box to her.

Ziva took the box from Tony, "What is it?"

"Open it and find out, Sweet Cheeks!" He grinned.

"This better not be a condom, Tony." She laughed.

"A little late for that, isn't it? Heh." He moved closer to her, kissing her on the ear, "I hope you like it."

Ziva lifted the lid on the box, revealing a gold Star of David necklace, she pulled it out of the box and just stared at it.

"I think there's something written on the back." Tony pointed at the necklace.

Ziva flipped the necklace over and read the inscription, "My Goddess of Israel. Love, Tony." She turned her head away from Tony.

Tony put his arm around her, pulling her close to him, "See..."

Ziva turned to him, tears in her eyes, "See what?"

Tony kissed her sweetly on the lips, "I, Tony, love you."

Ziva's lower lip quivered, she swallowed hard, "Sorry."

"Shhh." Tony brought her head to his chest, holding her tightly, "For what?"

"Ever doubting you." Ziva lifted her head, she turn, moving onto her knees, kissing him with all her love, "I love you, too." She pulled back and smiled at him, tears of joy streaming down her cheeks, she wiped away her tears and under her nose, she sniffed a couple times, "What's that?"

"The smell of love?" Tony guessed.

"No." Ziva sniffed again, "Turkey?"

"Oh, yeah, when you dashed off to the bathroom about two hours ago, I went and put it in the oven. I just the basted our fine de-feathered friend, as a matter of fact."

Ziva just stared at Tony and slowly started shaking her head.

"What?"

"You are..."

"I'm what?"

"Handsome, sexy, smart, silly, funny, caring, an idiot at times...but you're mine. All mine." She leaned forward, cupping his face with her palms, kissing him softly on the lips.

"That's it?"

Ziva pulled back, "Well, you have a giant penis."

"Heh. Why didn't you start out with that?" Tony laughed, "Thought it would go to my head, huh?"

Ziva smiled devilishly, "Speaking of..." She disappeared under the covers.

"This is definitely." Tony scooted his butt down, moving to a slouching position as the covers started to bob up in down in front of him. He smiled huge, "Good Christmas head."

Mrs. Jenkin smacked a broom's handle against the wall four times, "Damn heathens!" She sat the broom down, leaning it against the arm of her chair.

Moments later there was a knock at the door, she grunted getting up from her chair and slowly made her way over to the door, she looked through the peephole seeing something blue with dark hair. She unlocked the locked, leaving the chain intact, she opened the door. Ziva turned around, wrapped in her coat, "Oh, it's you."

"Yes, it is me, Mrs. Jenkins."

"What you three are doing over there is an abombination."

Ziva cocked her head to the side, "Three?"

"Your vagina is a cess pool, Missy! You're not married, yet you have two lovers, Tony and the other fella, Ken."

"My vagina is a what?!" Ziva started to get upset.

"A cess pool, the devil's playground!"

"First of all, my vagina is not the devil's playground, some consider it heaven, if you must know! Secondly, Ken means YES in Hebrew and finally, FUCK YOU, lady! And to think, I was coming over to apologize!" Ziva yelled and started muttering in Hebrew as she walked back to Tony's apartment, she stepped inside, walking into the bedroom, "You have to move, Tony."

"Uh, what happened?"

Ziva sighed, "Nothing." She started to take off her coat when her present to Tony fell out of her inside coat pocket.

"What's that?" Tony asked as Ziva picked up the box and opened it, there was a tiny pair of black panties inside, "Uh, I don't think they'll fit me, Ziva." He said smugly.

Ziva dropped her coat, she stood in front of the bed completely naked, she spun around and bent over, stepping into the panties, she looked back, seeing Tony's reaction, "Oooooh." He expressed with overwhelming joy. She shook her butt teasing him and sensually began to slide the panties up her legs, stopping and posing at her knees and thighs, until they were perfectly placed on her hips.

Ziva turned around, smiling, "Like, yes?"

"Best. Christmas. Present. Ever." He held his arms out to her, "Only thing better will be watching you take them off. Heh."

Ziva climbed onto the bed and crawled up his body, letting the silk of her panties tease his skin, "Tony." She moaned, turning around, backing into him, slowly grinding against his crotch, "Can we do something special?" She whispered.

Tony placed his hands on her hips, she covered his hands with hers, lifting them to her breasts, "Anything you want." He whispered back.

"Good." Ziva gestured towards Mrs. Jenkins apartment, "Do me against that wall." Ziva laughed maniacally.

And yes, the turkey was delicious....as were the pies and the kugal? Ziva never made it, she had better things to do.

THE END

Don't you love it when there's a scene after the credits roll?

Tony never fully regained his memory, his dad never showed up, but I heard he looks like Robert Wagner and oh yeah, Tony and Ziva got married, then divorce, then married, then divorced a grand total of 4 times. They had 4 children, each one of them in the new marriage, they're divorced now, but be on the lookout for marriage and baby #5 and child #3 finally figured out how Gibbs got his boat out of his basement. He's not allow in the basement anymore.

Author Note #1 - McDonald's hotcakes ain't too bad!

Author Note #2 - Sex is awesome, especially with someone else!

Author Note #3 - Insonmia still sucks.

Author Note #4 - Tony and Ziva should just fuck and get it over with!