Chapter Five: I'm Harry

"What did you say?" Logan asked an odd combination of hostility and confusion lacing his voice. Harry swallowed heavily his mind racing with the possibilities of what he could say. Some would be feeble attempts to back track on what he had said, others were semi-truths, and the last was simply the truth. It was in his nature to want to go with the last but he wasn't dumb enough to know that, that option might not be the wisest or safest. He also knew that a bold faced lie was out of the question and half-truths could get messy if one wasn't careful.

"I said my name was Harry. I would prefer it if you would use it." Harry's voice wavered slightly. He could only hope Killian would be patient enough to listen to him before he went completely pissed off and eliminated him from his body. He liked to think Killian wouldn't do such a thing but he wasn't stupid enough to believe that it wasn't a possibility. Just as Killian knew not to completely brush Harry off an to not being a threat.

"Harry? What the hell happened to Killian?" Logan growled out…..his claws unsheathing as he took a menacing step forward.

Um…he went away for a while…" Harry trailed off. How the hell was he supposed to tell the dominant feral that Killian was the other person within his mind and body and that he'd shut himself away for a while to recover from the hell of Harry's past….Well tell him without seeming insane?

Harry couldn't help the flinch that shook his body as Logan grabbed him firmly by his upper arm. Harry hissed angrily as Logan's other hand gripped his hair and roughly pulled his hair back. He stared at him intently as if looking for any small discrepancy that would show that Harry was some imposter. Or even that Killian/Harry was actually a supporter of magneto who was sent to infiltrate the mansion. He didn't seem to be able to find that discrepancy which judging from his facial expression pissed him off.

A million thoughts raced through his mind and yet disturbingly enough the thought of just how sexy Logan looked when he was angry was the thought that kept popping up. Harry shook his head slightly trying to get his mind to focus on important things. Though it seemed his mind had a mind of his own. Apparently he had let Killian be in charge for to long seeing as he could no longer seem to make his mind listen to what he was commanding it to do.

Harry looked back up at Logan only to realize the feral was saying something….or else Harry figured he was seeing as his mouth was moving….but he could hear no sound. It was like being at an end of a tunnel and all of the sound from the beating heart of tenants in the mansion, to the heavy breathing of both himself ad Logan, to Logan's actual speech….was being sucked away. Away from him and any possible harm it might do. Alarm bells began going off in Harry's mind as he realized that it wasn't that he hadn't suddenly gone deaf it was that he had turned off all the sound of the world. The world or at least the world inside the mansion and its grounds was silent. A death kind of silent, a calm before the storm silent. Just silent. Harry swallowed as he tried to reverse the power he had unleashed. But how could a mistake be fixed if he wasn't sure how the mistake happened in the first place?

Closing his eyes he tried to focus on his breathing…the feeling of the motion in, out, in, out the same continuous pattern. Slowly sound returned fraction by fraction. Harry couldn't help but rejoice at this small triumph but in his small rejoicing he put to much energy in returning sound back to the world and in doing so it returned 30 times louder then it was supposed to be. Harry couldn't stop the scream that tore through his throat and he watched with helpless eyes as Logan fell to his knees hands clutching his ears. Blood pouring out of them.

Focus. Come on focus. They won't be here to knock you out this time. There are innocents in this place. Focus. Like a mantra it replayed in his head over and over again until slowly, heart wrenchingly slowly the sounds of the world began to drop back to an appropriate level. And as they returned to where they were supposed to be it took Harry a moment to realize that the world was not silent once more.

Looking up he saw Logan still on his knees breathing heavily blood trickling between his finger from his ears, and nose. His eyes looked as if he had put on red eyeliner but Harry knew better. Guilt crashed down on him like a heavy weight sinking him farther beneath the water he was already precariously treading. With shaky movements he jerkily made his way over to Logan. With only a slight hesitation Harry laid a hand on Logan's right shoulder. Logan's head snapped up his eyes wild and his teeth bared. There was no sign of a civilized man within the gaze of the feral before him. Harry bowed his head slightly and lowered his gaze away from that of the feral.

Harry quickly took off his shirt and ripped it into strips, with gentle hands Harry gently removed the feral hands from his ears and began to wipe away the blood, some of which had already begun to dry. Spitting on the strip of cloth he wiped away the dried blood from both ears, then he swiftly moved on to Logan's eyes. Logan had been watching him curiously as he had cleaned the skin around his ears but as he moved towards his eyes he closed them gently. Harry scooted closer to the feral as his hand wandered from the feral eyes to the skin just below his nose and right about his top lip. He carefully wiped away the blood quite aware of how the atmosphere had changed from wild, angry, and scared to calm, and sensual.

Harry let the piece of stained cloth fall from his fingers as he gently trailed his fingertips over Logan's lips. Harry couldn't help how is breathing turned slightly ragged as Logan opened his eyes and gazed at him hungrily, lustfully. He couldn't stop the shiver as the lips his finger were mapping out parted slightly letting warm breath ghost over it. Slowly sensually Logan turned his head just slightly in order to be able to take fingertip gently into his mouth. Harry gasped slightly as he looked up into Logan's clouded eyes and was surprised to see a picture of both feral and man consciousness staring back at him…both matching the other in hunger. With a hungry growl Logan let go of harry's finger after giving it one last pleasurable suck to which Harry couldn't stop the moan from escaping his lips.

Faster then Harry could fully comprehend he was laying on his back legs spread apart and arms to up to the side of his head. With Logan straddling him putting just enough weight on him that Harry was able to feel Logan's hardness pressing into his own causing another wrenching moan from his lips. Logan leaned over Harry's face a gleam had returned into his eyes and Harry recognized that Logan was more feral then man and he knew what that look meant. A challenge. Harry knew Killian would have taken the challenge and in the end he would be forced to submit but that afterwards he would be pleased that he had though he would never say it. But Harry was not Killian and Harry did not want to challenge someone he knew he would not be able to beat and whom in fact he didn't want to beat. So with out another though Harry turned his face to the side exposing his neck to the feral. Giving complete and utter submission to the man above him. Leaning down Logan sniffed at his neck before running his tongue from the base of his neck to just below his ear. Harry felt his cock jump at the sensation and grow even harder as he heard Logan growl softly in approval. Teeth scraped his skin harshly and yet so deliciously that Harry could help but arch up into Logan who merely grinded his hips into Harry's.

Like a shattering of a dream, of a wonderful fantasy the sound of voices shouting and footsteps pounding evaded into their world. Logan paused and Harry held his breath wondering how he could have forgotten how he had lost such control and that it surely would have woken and hurt every person within the mansion. Pushing Logan away from him he was relieved to not feel resistance and just as Logan stood up and stepped away from him the door to his room flew open, banging on the wall.

Cyclops, Storm, Rogue, and Xavier stood there motionless their faces contorted in anger, worry, confusion, and in the case of the professor calm.

"Logan, what the hell happened?" Cyclops asked roughly which seemed to snap Logan all the way out of the haze he had been in…he had still been looking at Harry.

"I heard the kid screaming so I came in here and he was waking up and I asked if he was alright and he said that he was fine but his name was Harry not Killian. I asked him what he meant but he hasn't given me an answer." Logan's eyes held a mistrust and something peculiar that Harry could not name as he glanced at him before turning towards the Professor.

All four of which were now staring at him mistrust being the most prominent for Storm and Cyclops and calm confusion for both Rogue and Xavier. Harry fought not to shrink back under their gazes. He wasn't a scared little pussy who would hide just because he got himself into a sticky situation even though that's all he wanted to do. Perhaps it was because he had depended so long on Killian to protect him, to protect them, that he had lost his touch of defending himself. After all he was very capable of taking care of himself in both physical and verbal altercations it was only the fact that he could not stand senseless killings as to why they had to create Killian. Focus. He ordered himself making another mental note to not let Killian have the controls of their body so much….he would have to learn how to share. Though sharing wasn't a strong point for him and he knew it.

"Perhaps we should finish this in my office; I'm sure there is a logical anwer to all of this." Xavier finally said and everyone nodded with varying degrees of weariness. Harry sighed mentally checking to see if Killian was alright but after being able to tell he was there and sentient he was getting no other readings from him. It seemed as if this time the memories had been a little to much for him, more then what they usually were.

They walked quickly out of the room and through the halls. The Professor at the front of the pack followed by storm and Cyclops right behind and then Logan on Harry's left and Rogue on his right. Harry noticed that Rogue's left hand was gloveless and Harry couldn't help but know that it wasn't like that because she forgot to put them because her right hand was gloved. That hand was ungloved as to be used to restrain him if need be and Harry didn't particularly want to think about what that hand could do. Logan was gripping his arm tightly and yet Harry noticed that the grip wasn't as hurtful as it had been.

The trip to Xavier's office was uneventful and Harry allowed himself to be led into the room and forcibly made to sit down. Though that was by Rogue and Storm seeing As Logan and Rogue had fell behind in order to block the door in case he tried to escape. Harry sighed readying himself for a fight but whether it would be on of physical strength, mind, or even wills he wasn't sure. Just knew he had to be ready because Killian wouldn't be able to save them this time, this time it was all up to him and him alone.

"Who are you?" The professor asked calmly but his eyes were sharp taking in every detail.

"Harry." All the adults shifted in the room almost as if they to were readying themselves. Harry sat there though staring at the professor seemingly unfazed just as he was staring back at him with a poker face.

"I have to ask then why did you tell us your name was Killian?" Harry forced himself not to shift though he felt his leg muscles begin to twitch and shake which was an unfortunate symptom of nervousness, A quality Harry could never remember not having.

"Because he was Killian." He could feel the bewildered stares and the hear the sideways glances…but he ignored them. Concentrating on the gentle pushing of Xavier's mind reading against his shields. With a practiced ease he had forgotten he had he lowered his shields enough to show him where Killian and Harry were linked…having once been two separate entities…found that even he couldn't access that part of his mind. It had not occurred to him that he would not be able to show this because he had never been in this situation before. He couldn't help but curse Killian and yet feel guilty as he was and after he had. Killian was a product of his creation and therefore was limited in his coping ability. Though Harry had learned over the years that Killian was a lot more adaptable then he tried to make himself seem. Though in hindsight as Harry thought about it made sense…Killian was a soldier who was meant to get the job done no matter the cost and that included lying, cheating, stealing, and murder.

"You mean you were Killian?" Rogue's voice penetrated through Harry's thoughts. He shook his head rather forcefully as if trying to clear them away…and he really was.

"No. I meant exactly what I said. Why does everyone question me/ I know its odd but its not like you're talking to a mental patient…I'm not going to tell some random bit of truth that has no bearing on what we're discussing…" Harry trailed off as he looked down at his hands…and began flexing them one at a time as if counting them. He missed the looks being sent around the room. The room's occupants seemed to disagree with his statement of not being a mental patient.

"What is your name again?" Cyclops asked his voice stiff but contained unveiled suspicion and an almost anger towards Harry.

"Huh, oh my name is Harry. I've already said this…were you not paying attention?" Harry asked. A part of him knew he was making no sense but he couldn't help it…his brain had glitches in it due to what the ministry had done to it. Glitches that affected everything from thought process to social skills.

"Oh and before you ask…Killian is Killian. But he's not available to talk. I'll tell you asked though." He looked between Logan and the professor when he said this. Xavier was looking at him with a thoughtful expression of his face as if he were trying to work out some mysterious puzzle that confused him less than it intrigued him. Logan just had his head cocked to the side slight with a noticeably confused looked marring his features. His boy posture tense and weary.

"When will Killian be able to talk?" Xavier asked patiently, even kindly, Despite the looks of disbelief from his staff. Harry looked up at him in surprise and the professor noted that the haze that had been in his eyes moments before was faded…not gone completely but almost to a point of nonexistence.

"I don't know. I don't know when he's coming back or when he'll let me in…but he's got to." Harry's voice trailed off into a whisper, "He's got to."

A/N First off to all the reviewers..you all are brilliant!!! I love ou all so much and you are the reason that I keep writing even when everything else makes me feel as if I don't want to. Thanks to all the people who have alerted/faved the story or me… you guys also rock.

2nd the reason this is so late as I planned to have it out a few weeks after the last update was due to many eruptions. I've been sick...allergies are horrible, there was an explosion at my school…no one died luckily but two were injured and their recovering well, also a friend of mine ended up dying very suddenly. she was a year younger then me…15.…today was her birthday. So its been a sad few months. And hopefully all the tragedy is passed for now…but exams and finals are coming up so for the next 5-6 weeks I will be busy…though I will still be writing and will try to update as soon as possible.

Please Review if you've read already!!!!