CHAPTER THREE
UNDER PRESSURE

Castiel arrived with a gentle whoosh. Out of breath. Again.

The sun hadn't set over the purplish-red valley in front of him. In fact, calling it a valley was a vast understatement. It was shatteringly huge, opening beneath him in a jagged, colorful yawn of rock and wildlife. An aquamarine smudge of color snaked below him. The Colorado River. The Grand Canyon.

"The South Rim," Azrael said, just on Castiel's left. "At sunset it's particularly wonderful. After a rainstorm, even better." She looked up into the spotless blue sky and frowned, like the weather had offended her. Cas was in the midst of rolling his eyes at her when all of a sudden, a sable bank of cloud rolled in towards them, patched so the sun could shine through. Rain began to fall. The canyon looked like it was on fire and freezing over simultaneously. Cas forgot why he was so angry for a moment and just watched it.

But only for a moment.

He whirled to face her. Instead of her previous jeans and coat, now all Azrael wore was a simple sundress. Her hair was down, and framed her smirking face in waves of golden flax. He kind of wanted to punch her, but also felt that if he did, it might be considered a crime against humanity, she was so damn striking.

"Azrael." Cas gritted his teeth and wrenched his eyes away from her back to the desert storm in front of him. "Why am I here?"

"We had a deal, didn't we?" Azrael said with a little sigh, almost as if she was speaking to a child. "Well, here I am, summoning you. That was the deal."

"I thought you'd at least wait a bit!" Cas snapped. His hands were balled into fists from anger. "I need more time - Dean needs me there."

"He does, does he?" Azrael spun away, found a large rock, and plopped down on top of it. "Didn't seem so entranced by your company a moment ago."

"Are you spying on me?"

Azrael looked surprise. "Well, of course. Why wouldn't I? I'm supposed to be learning from you, right?"

Castiel, incredulous, scoffed and folded his arms. "You're still spying. What I do in my own time is private."

"Since when?" Azrael folded her arms. "You're an angel. All we do is spy on people. That's kind of a guardian angel's job description." She put a hand on her chin now, realizing something. "You're Dean's guardian angel, right?"

"Yes. Of course." Cas' answer was altogether too fast.

"But you hid him. You can't watch him without knowing where he is," Azrael said, a mischievous smile creeping across her lips.

"It was ... a sacrifice I had to make," Cas said, deflating a bit. "The Winchesters couldn't bear to keep being harassed by Michael. They needed peace, if they were ever going to stop this."

"Of course, of course." Azrael gave him a long look and crossed her legs. "That doesn't explain why you didn't heal the sigils on his ribs when you healed the rest of him just now." She raised her eyebrows.

Cas' breath caught in his throat. "I - Dean - he doesn't deserve to be stalked. He doesn't." Cas averted his eyes again. "Even if that means I'll never know where he is."

"Uh-huh," said Azrael. Cas could tell she wasn't convinced. Neither was he.

"Why the hell did you bring me here now, anyway? I'd much rather be back there. He needs me: for God's sake, his brother just died!"

"Yes. Pity about that," said Azrael, sighing a little sigh.

"Pity? A Winchester just threw himself into the pit for the good of all, sacrificed his soul for everything, and all you can say is pity?" Cas was spitting with anger. He noticed that though he could even smell his own anger (a mixture of rust and smoke) he could detect absolutely nothing from Azrael. "Pity he died. Pity he's a hero. Pity the only two men on earth who've been tempted and loyal and strong throughout everything have just been rewarded by being ripped apart. Yeah, it's a damn pity!"

He lunged at her, and she stood to catch his coat - then they were stumbling off the cliff-face. They fell and tumbled for a few instants, then teleported to a lower trail, where Azrael's perfect lips curled into a frown and she slammed Cas against the rock.

"What the fuck has gotten into you?" she trilled, still clutching his collar. "What if someone saw us? Mind-wipes are so insipid. I'd make you do them, you know." She could have been talking about what color to paint her bedroom.

"What the fuck has gotten into me? What the fuck is wrong with you? You don't even care that a good man died!" He shook her free and stepped away, revolted.

Azrael looked a little hurt. Her expressions always seemed subtle, maybe even faked. Castiel wondered if psychopaths looked like her when they tried to simulate emotion. Maybe not - even though it seemed faint, the pain on her face was really there. He thought it was there, a little, at least. Now if only he could get her to feel something over Sam's death.

"I want to care," she said softly, looking at her feet. "I really do."

Cas dusted himself off and looked at her sideways. He inhaled, and detected the slightest scent of rosemary. It was so faint that Cas would have pinned it on a nearby bush of it - if there had been any nearby. There weren't.

"I hate saying this," he said, adjusting his collar. "But I believe you." He turned away from her and started to watch the storm again.

"You're still pissed at me?" she asked, incredulous. "You stink of anger," she said, answering his unasked question.

"You ripped me away at a bad time," Cas growled. "Dean's not in a good place right now."

"Dean hasn't been in a good place for ages," Azrael said boredly. "Nothing new there."

"Actually, Azrael," Cas said acidly, "There is something new. His little brother's in hell. In the cage, no less."

"Well, you've lost brothers. So have I. We're all right."

"We're all right because all we've had to lose were brothers. You've never lost anyone who wasn't an angel, Azrael. You've never cared about anyone who wasn't in your legion. No angels have," said Cas, closing his eyes. Explaining this was ... irritating.

"I don't understand," said Azrael.

"'Course you don't," Cas said bluntly. "You've got no one to care about. So you can't possibly know. You can't possibly feel anything like that for humanity." He shuffled his feet in the reddish dust. "You've never been close to it."

"Don't condescend merely because I've never held a human soul in my hands," Azrael said brusquely.

"Christ, Azrael!" The mention of the Messiah made Azrael take a step backward in shock. "Don't you get it? It's because I raised Dean that I feel this way for the humans." He turned, and stared into her blue eyes. The gaze almost felt electric. "Human souls - you can't know what touching one is like. I can't describe it." And he couldn't.

Azrael held his eyes for a while longer, then turned away and gathered her knee-length skirt around her hips. She picked her way slowly up the trail. Cas watched her for a while, trying to figure out what she was thinking. There was obviously something very odd in wanting to walk physically up the steep canyon trail when she had the power to traverse any distance at all. Perhaps she was trying to 'rough it', like humans did every day of their lives. "Strange creature," Cas breathed, remembering Lucifer's own words toward him. He'd ridden in cars, but that was mostly because his power had left him. Azrael was clearly making a selfless effort.

"So, you're saying, then," panted Azrael as they eventually reached the top, "that the only way I'll feel for humanity is if I raise a human?"

Cas watched her panting form with a mixture of curiosity and horror. "What - no! I mean ... you're not going to raise anyone, are you?" Lifting just any soul from Hell wasn't something angels just went about doing. You didn't get down there by selling Girl Scout cookies.

The flicker of mischief was almost indiscernible, if you weren't looking for it. But Cas was looking for it. It was gone almost as soon as it had appeared. Then her face was as smooth as glass again. "No," she said simply.

"And that's not what I said," Cas replied, shaking a reprimanding finger at her. "I just said you've never been close to it. And climbing up mountains, however heroic, won't get you closer to them."

"Fine. I'll try to get closer." She took her turn dusting herself off now. The sun was almost down, and Cas could count three rainbows just from where he was standing. "You do mean like, talking to them, right?"

"Right."

"Would you like to know how to make weather?" Azrael asked. "Quid pro quo, right?"

Cas nodded, and Azrael began to explain how to concentrate on the millions of water droplets in the upper atmosphere, and then how to pour small parts of his consciousness into each droplet, willing them to condense. It took a fair bit of strength, and since Castiel wasn't used to anything like it at all, he found himself panting slightly after making a simple, small, cumulus cloud.

"You'll get better," Azrael reassured, patting his shoulder. "First time sucks, always." She waggled her eyebrows, clearly meaning something far more salacious. "Just keep practicing. I'll teach you to make lightning once you get good at cumulonimbus."

"Lightning?"

"Yeah, lightning. Acts of God are the best. Good for getting out frustration." She turned around and started walking closer to the cliff's edge, spreading out her arms and looking down. Perk of being an angel - no fear of heights.

"Right," Cas said tiredly. He was feeling a headache coming on. "Can I go now?"

Azrael didn't look hurt at all, which was reassuring. She pursed her lips and considered. "Alright, go ahead. I'll call you later."

"Later later," Cas corrected. "I need some time."

"Oh, sure," Azrael waved him away. "No problem." She paused, and gave him a warm, selfless smile. Cas reluctantly smiled back.

"Go," she whispered, and Castiel felt the tether disappear, and he immediately vanished from the South Rim, leaving Azrael to watch the last rays of sun disappear over the horizon.

A/N: I suddenly have a ton of muse for this story, and it's really quite fun for me to write right now. xD Expect Az to lift Cas off to wonderfully beautiful places. i30 . tinypic . com/ 2efktfs .jpg is what Castiel should see of the stormy South Rim. Please keep on feedbacking! It's awesome. =D