A/N: Birthday gift-fic for my friend! :D This is a pretty long oneshot, considering how long my fics usually are, haha. 4737 words! I only proofread once, so there's bound to be a few typos. Feel free to point them out if you catch any and I'll fix them right away. I rewrote the ending twice, and I'm still not satisfied with it. D: Oh, well. Hopefully it doesn't suck too much... Oh, also, I didn't write the song that Demyx sang for Axel...my sister wrote it for me. It's not to any tune in particular, but I'm sure you can come up with some stupid melody. I know I did. XD
Enjoy! n_n
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. But that's okay, because if I did, it probably wouldn't be even half as epic as it really is.
It was a peaceful afternoon on Destiny Islands. Quiet, dull, and dreadfully uneventful. Sora looked on, in a rather bored manner, as his friend, Riku, worked on his garden.
"Man, I hate days like this!" the teenager complained grumpily before falling onto his back, staring up at the sky. "There's nothing going on and nothing to do!"
Riku glanced up from where he was watering his plants. "You need to get a hobby," he said. "Maybe you can pick up gardening. I can help you, if you want."
"Nah, I couldn't even keep a weed alive," sighed Sora.
"Well, you wouldn't want to keep a weed alive," Riku pointed out.
"You know what I mean!"
"Okay, okay. Well..." Riku paused, thinking. "Maybe you could have Naminé teach you to draw? She's already teaching Kairi, after all."
"Drawing's too hard," muttered Sora as he rolled over onto his stomach.
"Only because you don't try," retorted Riku, yanking a weed from the ground. "Honestly, you can't expect to become an expert in just a day."
"It's too hard!" Sora whined.
"Fine, then how about—"
Whatever Riku was going to suggest next, Sora never heard it, because a Dark Portal appeared only a few feet away from where the two were, and a figure clad in Organization XIII's familiar black cloak stepped out from it, immediately distracting both of them from their conversation.
Riku and Sora quickly leaped to their feet, summoning their Keyblades.
"Organization XIII!" spat Sora. "What are you doing here?"
The figure held up his hands defensively. "Hey, hold on, don't attack me!" a familiar voice said. He reached up and pulled off his hood.
Both Sora and Riku visibly relaxed, though the latter still seemed to be a bit tense. "Hey, Roxas," he greeted stiffly. "What brings you here?"
"It's Axel's birthday, and we're throwing a party!" Roxas announced, either ignoring or not noticing Riku's unfriendly tone. "You guys are invited!"
Sora looked insanely happy at the prospect of a party, but Riku was still skeptical. "A party? With the whole Organization? And we're invited? Sorry, but I smell a trap."
"Of course, Xemnas and Saïx didn't approve, so we tied them up and threw them in the dungeon," Roxas explained casually. "We'll take them out again after the party's over. Well, technically, they leave by themselves, but you get my point."
"I'm surprised Xemnas doesn't have you all turned into Dusks for that," Riku responded, still suspicious.
"Xemnas knows if he turns us all into Dusks he won't have anyone left to work for him besides Saïx. He doesn't want that, so he has to cooperate—to an extent—whenever we want throw a birthday party, basically."
"Oh, stop interrogating him already, Riku!" Sora snapped. "Don't you trust him?"
"Better safe than sorry," Riku replied calmly. "You just want to go 'cause you're bored, huh?"
"Do you doubt me? What if I truly want to see Axel and celebrate his birthday?"
Riku wasn't convinced.
"Don't worry; if anything happens, Riku can always open up a Dark Portal and take you guys straight back here, isn't that right?" Roxas said.
"I...guess," Riku agreed reluctantly.
"Then it's settled!" Roxas declared happily. "Are Kairi and Naminé here? They're invited, too."
"Yeah, I'll go get them," Riku said. "I need to get my cloak, anyways."
Riku whisked off and returned about ten minutes later, now dressed in cloak identical to Roxas's. Kairi and Naminé followed him, clothed in their usual attire.
"What's with the Organization getup?" Sora asked Riku, confused.
"This Black Cloak allows me to pass through the Corridors of Darkness safely," Riku explained.
"But how come Kairi, Naminé, and I don't need them?"
"It's probably because you haven't used the Corridors for travel as much as Riku has," supplied Roxas helpfully. "Travel through them a few more times, and I'd recommend you start wearing them, too, just in case."
"But...what does it protect you from?" Sora pressed, still confused.
Riku and Roxas both gave Sora an are-you-stupid look. "From the Darkness, of course," they answered simultaneously.
Seeing that he wasn't going to get a more specific answer, Sora simply nodded. "Okay," he said. "Can we go now?"
"Wait!" Kairi waved a hand uncertainly. "Shouldn't we bring a present or something? It's a birthday party, after all."
"Um...Axel said you don't have to—" started Roxas, but everyone had already panicked and run off to find some sort of present to bring with them. "Never mind."
Riku came back first, holding an empty basket. He stared at his garden thoughtfully, then knelt down and pulled off a bunch of tomatoes, dropping them into his basket. "I don't think I have anything else ready to be picked," he admitted ruefully.
"Well, you really don't need to bring anything...Axel said it's okay, since it's last minute and all..." Roxas trailed off hesitantly.
"It's a birthday party!" Kairi exclaimed as she returned, frantically putting together a lucky charm—similar to the one Sora had, Roxas noted—out of seashells. "It would be rude to show up without any presents."
Sora came skipping back to the group with his own present, a huge wooden statue totem of some sort. "I couldn't find anything else!" he cried when the others gave him strange looks.
Finally, Naminé rejoined the group, carrying a piece of paper. "I did a quick sketch of Axel," she explained breathlessly, showing them. Everyone stared at the five-to-ten-minute sketch, which was better than any of them could have done in ten hours.
"Okay, now that everyone has gotten their presents, so let's go..." Roxas held out his hands and conjured up a Dark Portal. "...to the Castle That Never Was!"
Roxas walked confidently into the portal, Riku right behind. Naminé followed them, and Sora and Kairi brought up the rear, looking nervous about traveling through the Darkness. Even though they had done it a couple of times before, the idea was still a bit frightening.
But that was quickly over, for the group soon emerged from the Portal, finding themselves in the room known to the Organization as the "Grey Area." Save for Xemnas and Saïx, all the other members were already there. They stood gathered at one of the tables, where a pile of presents sat.
"I brought them!" Roxas shouted, waving to get everyone's attention.
"Hey! Glad you could make it!" Axel said cheerfully, walking over to meet them.
The Destiny Islands group looked around in surprise. For once, no one looked like they wanted to kill them. In fact, everyone looked really happy and excited—even though, of course, they didn't really have emotions—as they called out their greetings.
"We were just about to open presents," explained Axel, leading them to the table.
"Er...don't you usually do that at the end of the party?" Kairi asked.
"Of course not!" Axel looked over at his presents, then back to the Destiny Islands group. "Okay, let's start with my guests of honor!" He grinned expectantly.
Naminé stepped forward first. "Happy Birthday, Axel!" she said brightly, handing him her sketch.
"Hey, that's really good! How long did this take you?" Axel asked.
Naminé shifted her feet. "Um...about ten minutes," she admitted. "It's really not that good...it was just a last minute thing..."
Everyone who wished they could draw good—at least half as good as Naminé—glared at the girl enviously, wishing she wouldn't be so modest.
"Ooh, take mine next!" Sora exclaimed, breaking the silence. He shoved his wooden totem statue structure into Axel's arms.
"Whoa!" Axel inspected the...thingymajigger. "And what's this?"
"Er...it's a...special wooden statue for you to burn up," Sora invented.
Riku rolled his eyes and Roxas covered his laugh with a cough.
"Oh...thanks, I guess," Axel said uncertainly. "I'll be sure to burn it later." He put it down on the floor next to the table.
"Yay!"
"Here," Riku said, handing Axel his basket of tomatoes. "I grew them just for you," he added sarcastically.
"Why, thank you," Axel replied, imitating Riku's tone as he accepted the basket, then set it down next to his other gifts, not noticing Riku sticking his tongue out at him when his back was turned.
"Happy Birthday," Kairi said, holding out her gift. "It's a Thalassa Shell lucky charm," she explained.
"Hey, didn't you make me one of those?" Sora asked, pouting, as he fished his own charm out of his pocket. "I thought they were special!"
"They are special. Shouldn't I give Axel something special for his birthday?" Kairi challenged. "It only comes once a year, after all."
"Yeah, yeah!" Axel nodded his head in agreement. "Because birthdays are special. Geez, Sora. The world doesn't revolve around you, you know."
Sora crossed his arms huffily. "Whatever."
Next, Axel received his presents from the rest of the Organization. Xemnas's gift was to let them have the party without turning them into Dusks as a consequence—though, as Roxas had told the Destiny Islands group, the Superior was forced to cooperate anyways, so that wasn't really much of a present. From Xigbar, Axel received a flamethrower that had been carefully made by the Organization Moogle. Axel wondered how much it had cost, then decided that, next year, he had to give Xigbar something better than spare ammo that he had simply found lying around. Xaldin had given the birthday Nobody a hand-knitted scarf, and Vexen's gift turned out to be a strange-looking potion that he said was hair shampoo. Axel wasn't quite sure if he wanted to risk using it. The next present he opened was from Lexaeus, and it was a puzzle, as usual. This year, it was a Rubix cube. Axel dreaded having to try and solve it. Puzzles were not his forte. Then came Zexion's gift, a collection of Shakespeare's plays. Saïx's gift was a simple note that read, "You may be excused from missions for three days. Happy Birthday. - Saïx"
"Thanks, Saïx," muttered Axel ungraciously as he read the note.
"My present next!" Demyx announced, since Axel was going in order anyways. "I wrote a song for you!" He summoned his sitar and strummed it experimentally a few times before starting.
"He eats sea-salt ice cream on the clock tower
Sits there 'til the clock strikes seven hours
Likes to burn up all of Marly's flowers
He's Axel!
He's Axel!
Roams around the gloomy castle's walls
Trips while walking up the steps and falls
Loves to poke the Moogle's antenna ball
He's Axel!
He's Axel!
Axel, Flurry of Dancing Flames
We'll eat your cake and we'll play your games!
Axel, member number eight
We'll make your birthday super great!
He never really makes super stupid mistakes
But he is always told to go jump in a lake
He secretly loves to drink strawberry shakes
He's Axel!
He's Axel!
His best friend's tiny little dumb blonde Rucksack
He whacks him but then little dumb blonde struck back
He has a recording of a silly duck quack
He's Axel!
He's Axel!
Axel, Flurry of Dancing Flames
We'll eat your cake and we'll play your games!
Axel, member number eight
We'll make your birthday super great!
He'll burn your den!
You'll fix it, then
He'll go and burn it all over again!
Axel, Flurry of Dancing Flames
We'll eat your cake and we'll play your games!
Axel, member number eight
We'll make your birthday super great!
Axel, Flurry of Dancing Flames
We'd kick your butt at the Olympic games!
Axel, member number eight
You need less hips so put on some weight!"
Everyone cheered as the song ended, and Demyx bowed before handing Axel a copy of the song's lyrics. Axel thanked his friend and decided that, while Demyx was good at composing songs, he wasn't the best at making lyrics to go along with his melodies. After setting the paper with all his other presents, he opened the remaining four gifts. Luxord's present was a a deck of cards and accompanied by a book on how to do card tricks. Next, Axel received Marluxia's present, which happened to be a bouquet of flowers. The Nobody had to resist the urge to torch the gift right then and there as everyone sniggered behind their hands at the gift.
There were only two presents remaining now. Larxene's came first. Axel pulled the lid off of the box, then jumped back in surprise as something exploded out of it and hit his face.
"What the—" Everyone else burst into laughter as Axel grabbed the raccoon doll that had been thrown out of the box.
"Happy Birthday!" Larxene said, grinning evilly.
"Thanks a lot," groaned Axel, warily setting down the demonic doll, which seemed to be smiling innocently at him.
Finally, Axel opened Roxas's gift, which was in an envelope. He pulled out three popsicle sticks with the word "WINNER" on them. "Geez, how many sea-salt ice creams did you eat to get these?" Axel asked incredulously.
"I've been saving them all year," Roxas replied proudly. "I thought I was only gonna have two to give you, but I got a third just a couple of days ago."
"Thanks!"
Now that all the presents had been opened, all that was left to do was party. Axel and a few others brought up a bunch of food and set them on the remaining tables, then everyone broke up into groups to eat and mingle.
The party was surprisingly quiet and relatively calm. At least, it was.
Riku had been talking to Roxas, discussing fighting techniques with their Keyblades, when it happened. It being a splattering noise and something hitting his back.
"Um...Riku?" Roxas said uncertainly. "A flying tomato just hit your back."
"I realize," Riku answered tightly, then spun around to face the culprit.
Axel stood not five feet away, holding Riku's basket of tomatoes in one hand, and tossing one of the tomatoes up and down in the other with a malicious smile on his face.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAXEEEEEEEEEEEL!" Riku shouted. "DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH TIME I SPENT GROWING THOSE—"
SPLAT!
Riku wiped the tomato off of his face angrily. "YOU ARE SO GOING TO PAY FOR THAT!" Summoning Way to the Dawn, Riku ran up to Axel, only to be met with more tomatoes in his face.
"Hey, wait, don't fight!" Roxas called, flailing his arms helplessly. "You guys shouldn't be fighti—"
SPLAT!
"OH, IT'S ON NOW!" Roxas yelled, summoning Oathkeeper in one hand and Oblivion in the other.
SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT!
One by one, the rest of the Organization found themselves being hit by flying tomatoes. Inevitably, a fight broke out.
"FOOD FIGHT! YEAH!" cheered Sora, grabbing a bowl of potato chips and throwing a handful at Demyx.
"Hey!" whined Demyx. He grabbed a soda can and shook it furiously before pulling the tab, the can aimed at Sora's face. It would have hit, too, had Sora not ducked, and the soda hit Larxene instead.
Larxene glared at the Melodious Nocturne dangerously as she summoned her throwing knives. Demyx shrieked and ran away, Larxene giving chase with an angry yell.
The fight was really just a huge, confused mess with flying food and incoherent yelling. It finally ended a few minutes later when someone yelled above the noise.
"Hey! What's going on here?" It was Xigbar.
Everyone else stopped and calmed down enough to take in the scene around them. The room was a mess. Food was strewn across the ground, as was the soda. Empty plates and bowls lay scattered around. Squashed tomatoes were everywhere.
"Xigbar! Where have you been?" asked Axel.
"Getting the beer, of course!" Xigbar answered, holding up a few kegs and several mugs (How was he able to hold it all? The world may never know.).
"YEAH!" yelled the Organization, and everyone promptly swarmed around Xigbar.
Riku just rolled his eyes at first and hung back, leaning against the wall, but jumped up when he saw that Sora was among the people clamoring for a mug of beer.
"Give me one, too!" the boy begged.
"Coming right up!" Xigbar laughed.
Riku stomped forward angrily. "YOU CAN'T LET A MINOR DRINK!" he bellowed.
The Freeshooter looked at him in bewilderment. "Eh? Why not?"
"Why not?" Riku stared. "Because he's underage!"
A shrug. "So what?"
"Oh my God, Xigbar. Sora is fifteen. You simply cannot let a fifteen-year-old drink beer."
"Why—"
"BECAUSE I SAID SO, THAT'S WHY NOT!" Riku yelled. "AND BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO PUT UP WITH A DRUNKEN SORA!"
Xigbar thought about the time he had let Roxas drink. If the actions of a drunken Sora's Nobody were similar to how a drunken Sora would act, Xigbar decided that they would be safer without letting the teen drink. "Touché," he replied. "No beer for you. Sorry, kid," he told Sora.
"Aww!"
Riku decided not to ask Sora why he was so keen on drinking beer in the first place and dragged his friend over to one of the surprisingly clean couches—they were somehow spared during the chaos of the food fight—where the others were, the "others" being the people who weren't consuming unhealthy amounts of beer. This small group included Kairi, Naminé, Roxas (only because he was forbidden to drink), and Demyx, who was so hyped up on sugar from all the soda that no one wanted to risk letting him become drunk.
Riku sighed. "Well, this has been a hectic day thus far. When's the party ending?"
"We have until midnight until Xemnas gets mad," Roxas replied. "After the others are all done drinking, we usually play a game or something until it's almost midnight. Any ideas?"
"We should do karaoke!" Demyx suggested eagerly, practically bouncing in his seat.
"No way!" Roxas protested. "Whenever we do karaoke, we have to chip in our munny for a prize pool, and you always win! Last time I had to go a week without sea-salt ice cream. A week!"
"Addict," mumbled Riku under his breath. Roxas heard him and shot him a disdainful look.
"It's not my fault no one else can match my voice," Demyx huffed.
Roxas frowned. "Yeah, whatever."
"So what else can we do?" Kairi asked.
"Play cards?" Naminé suggested.
"No way, Luxord will cheat. He'll definitely cheat," Roxas replied, still thinking.
"Maybe a board game?" Riku asked.
"Hmm...depends on the game. Any puzzle games, and Lexaeus will win easily. We need something that'd be fair for everyone."
Sora thought for a minute. "How about The Game of Life?"
The group immediately vetoed the idea. "Boring."
"Apples to Apples?" Kairi tried.
Roxas raised an eyebrow. "Do you know how many Organization members have dirty minds? I'd like to keep my mind as uncorrupted as I can, thanks."
Demyx pouted. "You're no fun."
"It is the best choice so far," Riku pointed out. "We might have to fall back on it if we can't come up with anything else."
"Fine," Roxas conceded. "But don't blame me if your mind is scarred forever. I don't have any Mind Bleach."
"Haha, very funny," Riku drawled. "I think we'll be fine. How bad can they be? Anyways, what about Monopoly?"
"What's Monopoly?" Sora asked.
"What do you mean, 'What's Monopoly?" Roxas scoffed. "How have you never heard of Monopoly?"
"We played it before, remember?" Kairi added. "You threw a tantrum after you went bankrupt after landing on Riku's property, so we didn't play it anymore."
"It's the game where you go around buying property and setting up houses and cities and trying to make as much money as you can and not lose money and you want to try and be the last one with any money left," Demyx explained in a rapid-fast, run-on sentence.
"I...think I remember, sort of," Sora said hesitantly.
"Maybe you'll remember after we start playing," Naminé said.
Roxas nodded in agreement, then looked to where the other Organization members were. "You can only have eight players, so..." He quickly did the math in his head. Thirteen Organization members, minus Xemnas and Saïx is eleven, plus Sora, Riku, Kairi, and Naminé is fifteen, minus eight is seven. "Seven people have to sit out. We'll have to break up into two groups and play Apples to Apples, I guess. Agreed?"
"Sure," Riku said, and the others nodded.
"Great." Roxas drew in a deep breath, then shouted, "HEY, GUYS! WE'RE PLAYING MONOPOLY AND APPLES TO APPLES!"
Everyone rushed over. Thankfully, it seemed as if most of them had a good tolerance for alcohol and weren't insanely drunk. At least, they could form coherent thought.
Assuming command of the group, Roxas said, "Seven of us are going to play Apples to Apples. The other eight will play Monopoly. Okay?"
A myriad of "okay"s and "yes"s came as the answer, and after a bit of confusion and arguing, they managed to split up into two groups. The Monopoly group consisted of Xaldin, Vexen, Xigbar, Larxene, Riku, Axel, Roxas, and Luxord, while the Apples to Apples group was made up of Lexaeus, Zexion, Marluxia, Sora, Naminé, Kairi, and Demyx. After some more arguing—the Monopoly group fought over who would get which token, while the Apples to Apples group fought over who would get to judge the first round—they finally managed to calm down (somewhat) and started playing.
Riku listened with half an ear to the Apples to Apples crowd while he played Monopoly. He realized that Roxas was right—a lot of people in the Organization really did have insanely dirty minds.
"Roxas," he groaned. "I need some Mind Bleach."
"I'M NOT LISTENING," Roxas said loudly, trying to ignore the laughter and shouting coming from the Apples to Apples game.
The game dragged on for a long time. Sometimes some of them switched out so they could play the other game (they didn't start over with Monopoly, though; the new joiner simply had to take over for whoever they were replacing), though Riku and Roxas wisely decided to stick with Monopoly the whole time. The two tried their best to ignore the horrible things resulting from poorly- (or evilly-) picked Apples to Apples cards.
"Riku?" Sora had called from his game on more than one occasion. "What does—"
"I DON'T KNOW," Riku would interrupt, practically shouting, not wanting to hear. Then he would try to concentrate on his Monopoly game.
Riku was very good at Monopoly, a fact which surprised some of the other Organization members. He knew of the few strategies in the game, buying all of the right places and leaving the unnecessary ones for someone else to take. Even Luxord's cheating didn't seem to make things harder for him—the Monopoly players found out that Luxord had loaded dice about an hour into the game. At one point or other, he did seem to be losing, but that happened with everyone at least once, and he soon recovered.
"Hah! You landed on my property! Pay up!" Riku grinned and stuck his hand out as Axel glowered and handed him a few game money bills.
"I'm nearly bankrupt now," Axel groaned. "Don't I get a Birthday Boy Handicap?"
"Where would the fun in that be?" Riku asked.
"Riku's too good at this game!" whined Demyx, who had taken Xigbar's place while the latter went to play Apples to Apples. "No fair!"
"This is largely a game of luck," Luxord pointed out.
Roxas narrowed his eyes. "Says the one with the loaded dice."
"I was merely tipping the game to my favor," Luxord defended himself calmly.
"In other words, you cheated," Larxene said.
"CREATE YOUR OWN CARDS ARE CHEATING!" yelled Sora at that moment, who was still playing Apples to Apples—he didn't really get how to play Monopoly, so he decided to stick with the easier game.
"They're in the game, so they're not cheating!" Xigbar protested.
"But Marluxia is not sexy!" complained Sora.
"I'm the judge, so that's for me to decide!" Marluxia shot back. "And if Xigbar wants the Create Your Own Card to be 'Marluxia,' then that's perfectly fine with me!"
"Oh my God," muttered Riku, covering his face with his palm. "That is why I'm here dominating at Monopoly instead of playing Apples to Apples."
And so the games continued, lasting long into the night. Riku had just driven Luxord (who he suspected was still cheating) bankrupt, and had finally won the game, when Roxas glanced at the clock on the wall and leaped to his feet.
"Crap! It's 11:50!"
"The Superior will kill us when he sees this mess!" Demyx yelped.
"And if he doesn't, then Saïx definitely will," gulped Roxas.
There was a mad scramble as everyone rushed to clean the room, which was still dirty from the food fight. Several beer kegs stood at the wall, empty. They somehow managed to throw most of the trash into the bins and mop up the floors and table in less than ten minutes. Everyone had to agree that the room, though a bit worse for wear, looked fairly clean—by their standards—for such a rushed clean-up job.
Riku opened a Dark Portal. "Let's go," he urged. "I'd rather not be around when Xemnas and Saïx get here. The Organization having a party is one thing, but I don't think we should let them know we came this time around."
"Yeah," agreed Kairi as she, Naminé, and Sora hurried to the portal.
Yelling their goodbyes and Happy Birthdays over their shoulders, the Destiny Islands group stepped into the darkness, the Organization waving them off cheerily. As soon as the portal disappeared, the Nobodies stared at each other for a few seconds, then bolted, not wanting to be in the room when Xemnas and Saïx arrived to ensure that the festivities had ended.
"Wait up, you guys!" whined Axel, messily scooping up his presents and jogging after his friends towards the bedrooms.
Not five minutes after, a Dark Portal sprang up in the Grey Area and Xemnas and Saïx stepped out of it.
Xemnas surveyed the room. "Left a mess, as usual," murmured the Superior carelessly. "See that it is cleaned by morning." And with that, the Nobody strode out of the room.
"Of course," replied Saïx. He walked towards one of the tables and stooped to pick up something from the floor, a piece of paper Axel had accidentally dropped in his haste to get to his room. It was Saïx's little gift, the note temporarily excusing Axel from missions.
Ungrateful, Saïx thought, shredding the paper. He fetched a broom and dustpan, along with other cleaning supplies (Despite what the rest of the Organization thought, the room was still rather messy.) and began to sweep up the trash.
"Hey."
The Nobody looked up at the voice and saw Axel standing just inside the room, smirking. "So, old Xemmy set you with clean-up, huh? Want some help?"
Saïx wordlessly handed off the broom and dustpan and started for his room.
"Hey, wait a minute!" Axel protested.
"It had better be spotless when I walk in tomorrow."
"Shouldn't you be helping? It's your job."
"Lord Xemnas said only that I make sure the room is cleaned by morning. He didn't specify who had to do the cleaning."
"..."
"Oh, yes, there's one more thing," Saïx remembered.
Warily, Axel asked, "What is it?"
"Happy Birthday."