It was the same thing every Wednesday around noon for Kakuzu. It was his mission to get the groceries unfortunately this time he was stuck dragging Hidan with him. Normally he wouldn't be allowed out of the house but Pein thought they needed to "bond" more. Kakuzu pinched the bridge of his nose already feeling a headache coming on. It was bad enough Hidan kept him up all night with various women and waking him up early with bloody rituals but spending daylight hours with him was pushing it. He glanced over at his lousy excuse for a partner. His mouth was flapping so fast not even his experienced eyes could see it close. He highly doubts it did. If it wasn't for his ability to sew his ears shut he would have committed suicide a long time ago.
They arrived at the Ninja Mart and walked in through the electric doors. While Kakuzu grabbed a cart Hidan was having a blast opening and closing the door by swinging his hand under the scanner. Kakuzu stared at his idiot partner and cocked one eye brow in the air. Hidan waved him over and mouthed some words at Kakuzu. Kakuzu unstitched his ears and let the pain begin. "Kakuzu check this shit out! I put my hand here and the door swings open, it's like fucking magic or some shit."
Kakuzu didn't bother to hear the rest and stitched his ears back up, throwing a couple of bottles of aspirin into his cart. While he was there he picked up some Prozac for Itachi. He ventured down the allies and picked up the various things scribbled on the list. Deidara's stupid avocado face scrub. He wouldn't notice if it was store brand. Tobi, of course, wanted the most ridiculously expensive cereal that had his favorite cartoon character on it. Kakuzu opted for the more reasonably priced Bag O' Cereal. He felt a tug at the back of his collar and saw Hidan with an armful of items. Shit is the best way to describe it.
"No," he flatly said walking away. Hidan dropped everything that he was holding on the ground and followed Kakuzu around like a little kid. Occasionally, when Kakuzu turned around, Hidan tried to slip something into the cart which Kakuzu took out before it even clanked to the bottom. That resulted in Hidan whining so loud it almost got through Kakuzu's last defense. Almost. He usually stopped his bitching to place some Jashinism pamphlets into various food items. Fortunately for Kakuzu some unlucky girl was eyeing Hidan. While he was flirting or whatever, Kakuzu made a mad dash towards the frozen foods to pick up dinner. He reached towards the back and grabbed the expired ones, knowing he got them fifty percent off. He doubled checked the list and walked towards the check out service.
"Excuse me," Kakuzu asked the cashier. "Can you page my grandson. It's about time I changed his diaper. His name is Hidan."
The cashier placed her lips close to the microphone "Hidan, get yo smelly ass up front. Gramps over here needs to change your shitty diaper." Kakuzu glanced at the red-head's name tag and thought he found Hidan a soul mate. "Gramps eyes up here you fucking pervert." Hidan came shortly after already yelling at Kakuzu.
"Where's my shit?" Hidan loudly asked. Kakuzu's stitched ears couldn't save him now. He swore Hidan got louder every day and he prayed his age would catch up with him and make him loose his hearing. Itachi was as blind as a bat at 21 but at 92 Kakuzu's hearing was that of a dog with surgically enhanced ears. "Why the fuck did you take everything out? I need all that shit. Fucking money loving bitch."
"You don't need anything," Kakuzu retaliated. This made him remember when Zetsu was trying to explain the different religions to him. Apparently to achieve enlighten a Buddhist must give up all earthy goods. Kakuzu laughed. They also believed in karma. Being nice brings happiness, being evil brought despair.
"That will be $41.25," the red-head cashier said.
"You want a lotto ticket?" Kakuzu asked. Normally after every shopping adventure he went on, Kakuzu treated himself to weekly ticket. He remembered the first time he ever bought a ticket in his old village; he won instantly with his lucky numbers. Seven twenty five. Every week since that date he has played his lucky numbers. Since that day seventy years ago he hasn't won. Soon, he thought, very soon.
"Gambling is a sin! Do you know what Jashin would do to me?" Hidan said.
"If you win donate all the money or something. Come on, I'm buying," Kakuzu winced saying those cursed words but he decided to give the karma thing a little go. "I'll take seven, two and five as my numbers. Hidan what numbers do you want?"
Hidan crossed his arms and pouted, "I'll take one, one and ummm one." The red-head gave the guys their lottery tickets and laughed at how retarded the sexy one was.
"Good luck wining," she mocked at him.
Disclaimer: Don't own Akatsuki that's Masashi Kishimoto.
Side note: Anonymous reviews are ON no excuses bitches.