Defective Products
Summary: Meet Dalek Stan, only good for making food. Meet Angel Dave, who never quite got the defensive mechanism down. And meet Cyberman Janet, who really, REALLY wanted to get laid. They're sharing a flat. Fun begins.
The thing people, especially a certain Cyberman and Dalek, tended to forget about Angel Dave was that, despite all of her flaws, she was still a Weeping Angel. A Lonely Assassin. And, therefore, they also tended to forget that being a Weeping Angel, she could move very freaking fast.
As such.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'M SORRY!" Janet screamed as she charged through the streets of Liverpool, attempting to evade the angel, "ACK!" It wasn't working out.
"A BUNCH OF GENOCIDAL PEPPER POTS HAVE A WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION AND YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU'RE SORRY?" Dave launched into a long list of explicitives, appearing at the end of every alley. There was no getting away, "WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE EPITOME OF ALL THAT IS EVIL AND YOU'RE SORRY?" The Angel eventually stopped about a millimetre from closing her hands around Janet's throat. That would have played merry hell with any internal circuits...
Thank God for a faulty quantum lock, "Phew...Right. We need a plan." The Angel made a kind of choking noise, "...Alright, we need a very good plan that doesn't just rely on dumb luck." Another noise, "You know, you're actually quite sexy up close."
Angel Dave was suddenly at the other end of the alley, recoiling in a mixture of fear and disgust. Hardly surprising, "Well...I should track down the Daleks and then what? We don't exactly have any transportation..." There were suddenly voices.
"Doctor, we've been to Wales and faced a colony of lizard people, Italy and faced vampires, met Churchill, gone to Holland and saw the end of the universe. But you're still having trouble finding Rio!"
"I'm working on it! She's acting up again..."
"You know, we could just go vaguely in the area near Brazil and get a plane from there..."
"Too easy! The Tardis is much better than planes! I just need to work out where I'm going wrong..." The Weeping Angel and Cyberman peeked around the corner. There was a ginger woman, a somewhat pathetic looking man and...and, from what the pair could see, the man infamously known as The Doctor.
Who was currently hitting his sonic screwdriver against his chest while he stared at a map upside down.
Janet spoke first, "Do you think he'll let us use the Tardis to go find our Dalek?" Dave shook her head. She grinned instead,
"Who says he has to let us..."
It really was too easy. Far too easy. They hadn't even had to try to stumble into the Tardis without making a lot of noise. It was insane.
On the other hand, there was so much arguing going on it was hard to tell what noise was what. Dave had openly burst out laughing at one of the comments ("And we've also fought malevolent statues and saved a space whale! How are you having so much trouble finding Rio?" "Lots of planets have a Rio!") And barely anyone noticed. Well, the other man did, but no one was listening to him. In other words, most was right with the world.
Somewhere else...
"DANGER! DANGER!" The pair of tracker Daleks stared at the weapon of mass destruction as it whirred around in circles and crashed into things. Important things. Like maintenance instructions, and the back-up power supply, "THIS IS UNDG-" A splat of...something...flew into the Dalek's eyepiece. It started to corrode away. Dalek Stan continued his rampage, "DANGER! DANGER!" The second tracker Dalek rolled away for backup as quickly as it could. A void of intelligence had never been so scary...
Back in the Tardis, the trio of people (and their unknown guests) had finally worked out what to do in order to get to Rio. Or...that was the idea anyway. No one was quite sure if the Tardis would work, given that it had been having a bit of a hissy fit. The trio turned away, hoping to find something more appropriate for Rio. Or rather, forcing the Doctor into something more appropriate for Rio. The two other aliens decided to quickly chance their luck by checking the outside world, hoping that maybe they had landed somewhere useful...
"Alright Doctor, there aren't any cracks anymore. So you have no excuse for us not being able to reach Rio in the magic blue box! It can fly through time and space and the damn thing still can't get us to Rio!"
"Hey, don't insult her! She's gone through a lot Pond!"
"Well excuse me, lover boy!" The red-head and the Doctor argued on while the last man stood between them, trying in vain to make peace. They were in the middle of a spaceship- a very familiar looking spaceship, though the trio themselves were still inside the Tardis. The Angel and Cyberman attempted to creep outside while they were occupied. One of them noticed, "Doctor! Amy! Aliens got on the ship again!" Dave and Janet froze. Janet turned her head, praying that the pathetic looking man was talking about some other aliens. Considering he was staring right at them, Janet deemed this unlikely, "Doctor, unless you've suddenly decided to take an interest in robots and statues that have fangs, I think we have a problem!" The Doctor and the ginger (presumably the one they called Amy) continued to argue. Janet snickered at the man's face when he realised, yet again, that no one was paying even the slightest bit of attention, "Doctor, Amy, I am going to explain, one more time, that there are aliens in the Tardis," The other two started to hit each other now, "Right, nice to know you all care." He walked towards the two aliens, "Umm. Hello." There was no response, "I'm Rory. So...what-or who-are you?" Janet's not entirely there eyes flicked towards Dave. Dave had frozen. She sighed, "I am Janet. Cybus Cyberman. Sort of. Basically, void thing doesn't quite work when you were dragged back by an angel." Janet paused, "Oh. And this is Dave," She turned to the angel, "Say hi. Don't worry, she doesn't bite. Well, she can't at the moment." Janet tapped what would have been her nose, "Quantum locked."
"Oh." Rory seemed a bit stunned. He walked around to Dave's face, "Hello...Dave..." Dave stayed silent. Rory looked at the pair still arguing before turning to Janet, "She?"
"Her mother was a bit crazy."
"Ah." Rory studied the angel's face, the usual expression of utter 'this-has-happened-before-and-it's-not-the-last-time-it-will filling her face. He stared at the blank eyes, "So...how did you get in the Tardis?" Janet shifted uncomfortably,
"Well..."
As Janet recounted her tale ("I knew I heard something! Wait, that was a laugh?") the Doctor and Amy had evidently settled their differences (It went something like: Shouting-Fighting-Shouting and fighting-Too many bruises to continue) and were walking over to Rory. Well. Limping over to Rory. Well, Amy was limping, the Doctor was being dragged, "Honestly Mr Pond, your wife hits pretty damn hard. Ouch...Amy, I think you gave me a concussion!" He turned to pout angrily at where he though the Scottish woman was, who just smiled lopsidedly,
"Says the man who slugged me across the face! Fair's fair in a fight Doctor...Umm. Doctor." Amy stared at the Cyberman and the statue and the husband, "Doctor, do you see what I see?" The Doctor stared into a completely different space, "...Colourful shapes? Amy, I think you blinded me!"
"You should've seen that coming! Anyway, you'll heal, eventually. Problem is, we've got some visitors in the Tardis!"
"Visitors? But people can't get in the Tardis that easily..."
"Doctor, these aren't people!" Amy threw her arms towards the angel and the Cyberman for emphasis, regardless of whether the Doctor could see them, "It's a Cyberman! And a Weeping Angel! And...Rory is talking...to them..." Amy blinked, forgetting about the Angel's abilities (Or lack of, in Dave's case) "Rory, why are you talking to them?" Rory stared at Amy,
"...Well neither of you two would listen when I said that there were aliens. And the nice Cyberman has been introducing...herself?" Rory turned to Janet, "Help?" Janet sighed. This would take a lot of explaining...
A/N: Okay. Series 5 finale made me squee BIGTIME. Much like when I recently finished 'Good Omens' and started squeeing before ranting to my ex about it. Seriously, go read it if you haven't already. Also, my friend lent me Doctor Who: New series 1-3, so I'm very happy.
Also? THE FIVE DOCTORS IS AWESOME.
Oh, and quick note. Once I'm done with this little bit of the fic (rescue Stan!) I've got another Doctor Who fic planned, but that won't go up until this bit is finsihed. Another Weeping Angel thing. I love them so much, as many nightmares they've given me XD