A/N: I was actually a little bit terrified no one would like the first chapter and I'd have to take it down because it was bad. This is my first fanfiction ever! I said I could never be able to write it when I started reading it, but I had this idea and I wanted to share it, so here it is. My original plan was a oneshot maybe 5000 words long, but I'm going to be ambitious I think, I'm having fun with this.
I'm kind of in awe of the stats page, people from all over the world have read this! I was so happy when I read the reviews and saw how many people favourited or added it to story alert, so thank you!
~Frosty
Disclaimer: I really hope no one thought I was under the impression that I owned the characters, or any of that stuff, because I don't.
Chapter 2
Their first and most immediate problem was getting back to normal size; the worst type of revenge they could manage as bunnies would either involve tripping them while they tried to walk somewhere, preferably carrying something heavy and/or valuable, or chew through all the cords in the house (which wouldn't really accomplish anything, because the Weasley twins had nothing muggle to need the cords).
Hermione was anxiously pacing back and forth in front of the fireplace while Draco watched from where he was leaning against one of the many throw pillows on the couch.
"Okay!" Declared Hermione suddenly, causing Draco to jump and fall off the couch. "I know what we can do! We have to build a bridge out of dental floss and books from the back of that couch to the desk and then go from there to the window. From there, we should be able to either leap to the ground or signal for help."
Draco gave her a sceptical look. "Dental? ... You know what? Never mind. First of all, we're on the fourth floor, there's no way we'd survive a fall from that height and survive, thought you're welcome to try it. You're the brains behind the golden trio and that's the best you can come up with? It really is a miracle none of you are dead..." He trailed off as he hopped back up onto the couch, muttering about 'insane ideas and breakdowns'.
Nose twitching in annoyance, Hermione glared at him. "I'd like to see you do better Malfoy!"
Draco walked by a spoon that must have fallen on the floor at breakfast, he froze midstep and stared at himself. "I'm so fluffy!" He yelled, irritated. "Though... As far as rabbits go, I'm a sexy one..."
Hermione stared at him with her mouth open. "How can a rabbit be sexy?"
"Easy, I can make anything look good. For example, look at my ears," He twitched them for emphasis. "They're well shaped, reflect my innate sense of style, and they have an appealing colour, much like my hair does."
"Yes, I think I can see it. In fact, the colour is so appealing you should dye your hair pink when you're human again to match your pink ears."
He glared. "I'm going to pretend you didn't say that."
"Whatever makes you feel better Malfoy."
They both fell into silence, too tired from the events of the day, and the surprisingly exhausting trip up and down the stairs to keep up their normal bickering.
"Why would they want to turn people into rabbits anyway?" Malfoy asked tiredly.
Hermione took a minute to think about it. "I'm assuming it's an Easter thing... You know, hand out Chocolate Bunnies to your friends and family, then they turn into adorable bunnies instead of people you barely know who pinch your cheeks and hug you then ask if you know who they are even though they haven't seen you since you were two and there's no way you know who this stranger who insists on invading your personal space is!" She was breathing heavily by the end of her rant, she seemed to realize that she was a little off topic and finished calmly "it would all be very festive... That or they're just evil," She finished, narrowing her eyes.
"You're a little unbalanced aren't you?" Malfoy asked wearily.
"Says the one who thinks his bunny ears are sexy."
Draco puffed up his chest proudly. "It takes a real man to acknowledge that his pink ears are an asset to his appearance and ..." He trailed off when he noticed that Hermione was obviously asleep. Too tired to demand the attention he was entitled to as a Malfoy, he curled up against the throw pillow and drifted off to sleep as well.
Hermione woke up to muttered profanities in what sounded like at least two languages. Noticing she was awake, but not bothering to apologise for causing her to be that way, Draco called "Granger! You have another note from them and it won't let me read it. It's been mocking me for the past ten minutes," Malfoy glared at the offending piece of parchment, which appeared to say: Do you always snoop around trying to read other people's mail? Is it because you feel bad that you don't get any of your own?
"Malfoy, I don't think this is directed at you, I think it's a generalized thing for anyone but the person it was intended for..." Hermione trailed off, realizing the futility of trying to reason with an offended Malfoy, she opted to read the letter instead, which had appeared as soon as she finished reading the message meant for snoops.
Hermione,
If you are reading this, you're probably hopping mad (get it? Horrible, I know, but George insisted). Someone hasn't found you and changed you back to normal, so our 6 hour safety net has kicked in and supplied you with some things that are necessary for your survival until someone can find you.
Good Luck,
Fred & George
As soon as she finished reading, there was a series of pops coming from the other side of the couch. Hermione stared at what the twins had provided which were "necessary for her survival". Apparently the twins thought a bowl of water, two carrots and alfalfa pellets were all that she would need.
Malfoy had followed her (at a safe distance in case whatever the twins sent was something dangerous) "What are those green things in that bowl?" He asked, twitching his nose with interest.
Before he had received an answer, he hopped over and started delicately nibbling on some of them. Hermione couldn't stop herself from laughing, "I never thought I'd see the day when the self titled 'great Malfoy' would be eating alfalfa pellets," Hermione muttered to herself. Apparently she hadn't muttered quietly enough, because he immediately started choking.
"Malfoys do not eat grass!" He gasped when he could breathe properly again, glaring at the pellets like it was their fault he had eaten them.
"Then eat the other carrot?" Hermione suggested from where she was eating the other one beside him, deciding that if she informed him the alfalfa was actually a plant in the pea family he'd just call her a know it all and then continue to call it grass out of spite.
"I don't like vegetables, they're rabbit food," He complained.
"In case you haven't noticed, you are a rabbit at the moment. Be quiet and eat you alfalfa pellets," Hermione grumbled at him.
"Death is too good for those twins, they need something slow and painful... Like that Prometheus guy, but with hippogriffs instead of an eagle eating their livers every day as they're chained to rocks," he ranted, before grimacing and going back to his alfalfa pellets.
"How do you even know about muggle mythology?" Hermione had stopped eating, too curious about how the blood purity obsessed Malfoy family had allowed their heir this type of knowledge.
Malfoy scoffed and wrinkled his nose in distaste. "Father is prejudiced, not stupid; you muggles can be a vicious lot, he likes outside contributions for ideas sometimes. Plus he finds the irony of using their ideas against them hilarious."
She frowned, "So he'll gladly used muggle methods of punishment and torture, but refuses to accept that muggleborns deserve to be involved in the magical world just as much a purebloods do?" She asked, starting to get angry, and slightly disturbed about the kinds of things that seemed to pass as a joke to Lucius Malfoy.
Malfoy sighed. "Exactly. Now drop it."
To both of their surprises, she did. Maybe it was the resignation in his voice that had stopped her, or maybe she was just more inclined to listen to him when he was cute and fuzzy and completely unthreatening. They were well on their way to finishing their breakfast without incident when the portrait hole burst open and Harry and Ron stumbled in, yelling for Hermione.
She and Draco were currently looking as much like deer in the headlights as rabbits could look, Draco frozen mid chew on his alfalfa pellet and Hermione taking a bite out of her carrot. Ron continued up the stairs towards Hermione's room while Harry noticed something much more interesting; a random pair of rabbits in his friend's common room.
"Ron! Did Hermione have a pet rabbit?" Harry asked, his question seeming to unfreeze her from her shock induced immobility.
Ron's answer from her room was lost in Hermione's cry of "Harry! Help!" from the floor as he walked up to her with a horrified expression on his face.
"Did Malfoy do this to you?" He demanded angrily. He picked her up and brought her to his eye level to examine her for grievous injuries or some such thing, turning her upside down at one point. Ron had come running the second he heard her ask for help and was glaring around the room as if Draco was lurking somewhere with his wand out, waiting to ambush them.
"HARRY! I'm fine. Well, except for the obvious... It was Fred and George; they sent me some chocolates..." She trailed off; embarrassed that she'd eaten something before she had thoroughly checked it. "Besides," she brightened up considerably, "Malfoy's in the same boat as me," she flicked an ear to where he was still frozen mid chew.
Harry and Ron both stared before Harry asked hesitantly "Is Malfoy eating... Alfalfa pellets?"
"I'm a rabbit Potter, I can't very well go around eating steak, now can I?" Malfoy questioned dryly from the bowl of pellets, completely ignoring the fact that he had wholly agreed with Harry's sentiments only minutes earlier.
Hermione sighed, exasperated. "That's not the point Harry! You have to get us to the hospital wing; I'm going to miss classes if I'm not back to normal soon! Now help us!"
"Malfoy too?" Ron asked, sounding like he dearly hoped that she would say no and let him leave Malfoy there.
"Yes Ron, we can't just leave him here, something might eat him or he could get into the rubbish bin or..." Hermione trailed off, amused at the annoyed look she was getting from Draco at the suggestion that he was a common pest like a real rabbit could be.
Whatever his reply was going to be, it was cut off before he could finish when Ron picked him up. "Weasley, put me down!" Draco's snarl lost some of its effect because he was trying to bite Ron.
"We could always just leave him here to be eaten by something," Ron suggested hopefully, followed quickly by "OW!" and a thud as Draco finally managed to bite him.
"You dropped me!" Malfoy yelled from the floor, outraged.
"You bit me!" Ron yelled back, holding his injured hand to his chest like he was about to lose the thing.
Hermione sighed; must she always be the voice of reason to these – these boys? "STOP!" She yelled as loudly as she could, startling everyone else in the room into silence. "Ron!" He jumped a little when she addressed him, he was used to cowering when she used this voice. It was wise to just do what she said until she stopped using The Voice because bad things happened when he ignored it; things like incomplete homework and glares so disapproving you practically had scorch marks on your clothes. "Pick up Malfoy and take him to the hospital wing with Harry and I!"
While Ron had learned to respect and fear The Voice, Draco had grown up with Lucius Malfoy, a man who had been using The Voice far longer and more menacingly that Hermione could ever hope to manage, making Draco immune to this pale imitation Voice. Ron was forced to pick up a very angry and very unhappy Malfoy bunny.
Being far larger and stronger than the small rabbit, Ron eventually managed to subdue Malfoy, but not before many scratches and bite marks were received on Ron's part and many profanities and insults were yelled on Draco's part – with Ron contributing his fair share of course.
Hermione and Harry were both laughing at them by the time they were finished. "Ron," Harry managed to gasp out between laughing fits, "You look like someone put you through a wood chipper... An angry wood chipper," Hermione was the only one who understood the joke; the other two in the room ignored them. Ron did look like he'd come out on the wrong side of what was sure to have been an epic battle with a lawnmower or some similar yard tool, he was covered in scratches and bite marks, his face was red from the fight, and his hair – at some point, Draco had managed to get to his hair, because to Draco, there was no greater insult than going for the hair – was sticking up at odd angles everywhere. Draco was annoyed at being carried, but smug that he could best a Weasley even when he was stuck as a rabbit.
The trip to the hospital wing was as uneventful as was possible with Ron carrying Draco; meaning that Harry only had to stop, put Hermione down, and pull them apart three times on the way there.
"Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley, what can I do for you?" Madam Pomfry asked once they finally arrived at their destination. She looked wearily at the rabbits they were holding. "Please tell me those aren't students," She sighed, clearly knowing she was going to have no such luck.
"The Rabbits are Hermione and Malfoy..." Harry answered, sitting Hermione down on one of the beds while Ron dropped Draco down on the one beside her, "Fred and George sent Hermione some of their new merchandise to test, and they both ate some..." He trailed off, not really knowing any more of the story to explain.
"All right, you two get to class before you're late and I'll do what I can for Mr. Malfoy and Miss. Granger," She turned to Hermione and Draco, ignoring the attempted protests of Ron and Harry. They eventually gave up and headed to class, comforted that their friend was in good hands and not wanting to be late for potions."Now, are you two fully rabbits at the moment, or do you retain your human minds?"
"We're just physically transformed," Hermione confirmed.
"Now change us back, we've got revenge to seek!" Malfoy demanded.
Madam Pomfry finished examining them, and walked briskly over to her cupboard of standard cures, opening the door and muttering. "Children, I don't have anything to cure you, I hate to say it, but those twins are geniuses when it comes to their pranks. You'll have to wait here while I go fetch Dumbledore, maybe he has some ideas..." She trailed off, walking out the door, and closing it behind her.
"Great," Draco muttered. "Now what are we supposed to do?"
"I vote we start planning our revenge," Hermione declared, and for once, Draco was in complete agreement.