Chapter 4
A/N: This story is fighting me! I wanted it to be something short and it keeps getting BIGGER, completely against my will I tell you! I could have ended it when they were done being bunnies, but where's the fun in no revenge? Thanks to JillianUnleashed for the Monty Python suggestion! This chapter is my favourite so far (I'm halfway through 7 at the moment) probably because I love the ending; we finally get to see some revenge! And some... side revenge.
~Frosty
Disclaimer: Still applies... You know, in case you were wondering.
Three days after Narcissa received the letter, Draco's artefact reached its destination. "George, did we order something from Zonko's? We've got a package," Fred said, paying the owl as he read the Zonko's label on the box.
George came in and examined it over his brother's shoulder. "I don't remember ordering anything, but it's entirely possible I've forgotten, I tested the forgetting formula last week, remember?"
Nodding that he did, Fred opened the box, finding a small, teardrop shaped black stone in the bottom. Fred picked it up and examined it from all angles, not finding anything particularly interesting about this rock. "What is it?" George asked, reaching out to touch it.
Suddenly, thin green vines broke out of the seed, quickly wrapping around the twins and everything else in the apartment until there was nothing that was not completely wrapped in vine. Fred and George glanced at each other from where they were trapped, then they said at the same time: "Hermione".
The next day at breakfast, Hermione received a letter.
Hermione,
Ginny told us that Malfoy was turned into a rabbit as well; we've already gone ahead and patted ourselves on the back for that. Are we correct in assuming that the vine currently taking up our whole apartment and the rash that was a result of touching it is your revenge?
If it was (we know we're right), then congratulations, we never thought you'd get us back before you were even back to normal; we blame Malfoy, he's a bad influence on our innocent, gentle Hermione.
Here Hermione stopped to scoff; either the twins had forgotten the time she stabbed Fred with a fork for trying to slip her a truth potion, or they were being deliberately sarcastic. She hoped they had forgotten; it would make revenge so much more fun when they didn't expect anything from her.
The Zonko's label was a stroke of genius; we never even thought to suspect the package.
We'll go ahead and consider us even now,
Fred & George
"We're not even close to even," Hermione muttered as she finished reading the letter.
"Good call on putting a Zonko's label on the package," Ginny said to Hermione. "They fell right into your trap, I almost feel sorry for them," she finished.
"They turned her into a rabbit, for no reason except their own amusement," Harry reminded her from across the table, "I think they deserve whatever Hermione can dish out".
"Which is a lot," Hermione said proudly, "in fact, if they were here right now, I would probably bite their heads off – literally, like that rabbit in Monty Python and the Holy Grail."
Harry was the only one who understood the muggle reference and laughed. "That rabbit had 'a vicious streak a mile wide', Hermione. I'd say yours is half a mile at best."
They both turned at the sound of a sad sigh, noticing that Ginny looked downcast. "I forgot Hermione was only going to be a bunny for two more days," she said mournfully as she played with Hermione's ears again, as had become her habit over the past week.
"Cheer up, Gin," Hermione said "Christmas holidays are coming up fast, that's something you always look forward to," she comforted, attempting to bring the other girl out of her melancholy. Hermione sighed, there was only one thing she could do to cheer her up, "Fine, we can have a sleepover tonight while I'm still a rab –"
She was stopped from completing her sentence by an excited squeal as Ginny picked her up and twirled her around. "Are you serious? I can take you to my room with me and you'll stay and let me pet your ears?" Ginny gasped excitedly and set Hermione down on the table, lowering herself until she was at her eye level. "Hermione," she started seriously, "will you do the bunny face cleaning thing at our sleepover?" She asked, looking too hopeful for Hermione to crush her.
"Fine," Hermione grumbled, annoyed at the lengths she had to go through to cheer up her friend. Ginny squealed something about hair colouring potions and ran out of the great hall. Hermione put her paws over her head and groaned; it was going to be a long night.
"Where were you last night Granger?" Draco asked when Hermione got back to the heads common room; Harry had taken pity on her and brought her back to her room to finally get some sleep at 7am. "Granger," Draco started again once he got a good look at her "Why are you green? And pink paws? Really Granger, I thought even you would have better taste than that".
Hermione had spent the night being petted, dyed, petted some more, poked when she tried to sleep, petted, and then made to do the 'bunny face cleaning thing' for a half hour straight; she was as close to murderous as she had ever been, and Malfoy was painting a big target on himself by being annoying.
"No wait, I know better than that. Of course you don't have better taste than that, you were raised by muggles," Draco finished, crossing the line. Hermione screamed and charged at him, catching him off guard with a head butt in the side and knocking him over, where she promptly jumped on top of him and bit both of his ears a few times, finding herself unable to slap him as a bunny.
That's how Blaise found them, Hermione gnawing on one of his ears and Draco yelling "Granger! Let me go!" Blaise froze for a second, allowing himself some time to take in the scene before he stepped forward, looking amused, and pulled Hermione off poor Draco. Hermione struggled, but wasn't actually angry at Blaise, so she refrained from trying to hurt him, Slytherin or not.
"I'm bleeding you crazy bi-"
"Draco, I'm sure you did something to set her off," Blaise interrupted him, earning himself a wounded look that was completely ignored. "Umm, Granger? Why are you pink and green?" he asked, glancing at her and noticing her odd colouring now that she was no longer homicidal towards his friend. Hermione had her face under her paws and mumbled something that sounded vaguely like "Ginny", Blaise left it at that and turned back to Draco.
He looked at him, head tilted to the side as he contemplated his friend's condition. "Draco," he finally said, "did you know you're bleeding all over the carpet?"
Draco's response was an angry growl and a frustrated "Take me to the hospital wing already!"
Blaise sighed like Draco was asking something very unreasonable. "Fine, just don't bleed on me; you've already ruined the carpets..." Hermione didn't get to hear what else he had to complain about because they were already out the door and she was rapidly falling asleep.
Hermione woke up to someone nudging her side. "Whaaa?" was all she managed before she fell of the couch and thumped onto the floor. She blinked a few times in confusion, before glaring at the spot she had been laying to find a smug, but healed Draco sitting there.
Hermione pulled herself up off the floor, still glaring. "You deserved to have your ears bitten off, you should be happy I only bit them a bit after what you said!" she yelled at him.
He sneered down at her, about to say something that was bound to be offensive, prejudiced and downright mean, when Blaise interrupted them. "I actually think you two are quite a bit alike," he commented, sitting down in the chair across from the couch. "Think about it; you both like to read, are loyal to your friends, enjoy learning about pretty much anything, pride yourselves in being the best. Need I go on?" Apparently he did, because he was receiving identical skeptical looks. He sighed, "Never mind. I'll let you two figure it out, then I get to say I told you so".
As he got up to leave, Hermione was stuck by an idea. "Zabini, wait!" He looked at her curiously, but waited to hear what she was going to ask him. "Can we go into the hall to discuss this?" she had noticed Malfoy watching them very carefully, a suspicious look on his face. Zabini, seemingly intrigued, nodded and carried her out into the hallway, setting her down again once they were a safe distance from the portrait hole.
"What is it you needed that Draco couldn't hear about?" He asked her, once they were alone.
Hermione was unsure whether she trusted the Slytherin, but he was her only option, and she was pretty sure he would go along with her idea – Zabini seemed like he enjoyed messing with Malfoy. "Well," she began hesitantly, "I need you to take me to the Gryffindor common room, I have to talk to Ginny..." She trailed off, unsure of how to continue.
"And explain to me why I should be doing this".
"Well... It's going to be a revenge prank on Malfoy".
"What makes you think I'm just going to turn on my best mate like that?"
"Because I'm betting he's pranked you in the past and you probably owe him one, if not, you'll still get to laugh at him. Also, if you do this for me, I'llowe you a favour; anything within reason..." She trailed off, unsure what his reaction was going to be.
"All right, let's hear this prank of yours," he told her, looking interested. Hermione, encouraged by this positive reaction, outlined her whole relatively simple plan.
When she finally finished, Blaise was laughing. "I never knew you had it in you Granger! You know, you come off as a bit of a stick in the mud," he said, Hermione glared.
"Are you going to help me or not?" She asked him impatiently; they had to get to the Gryffindor common room before Ginny went to bed, and it was well after dinner already.
"Of course, this is too good of an opportunity to pass up," he responded with a grin.
Draco was lounging by the fire when Granger and Blaise came back to the head's common room. He watched them suspiciously, not trusting their newfound camaraderie. "Where have you two been, and since when have you been on speaking terms with each other?"
Hermione sat down primly, turning her back on him while he glared at her suspiciously. Blaise took advantage of the few moments his friend was paying attention to the Gryffindor and snuck into the bathroom, completing his part of the prank in a few seconds, and coming back in the room before it was his turn to be glared at. "Well," Blaise started before Draco could start with the accusations he knew were coming, "I think it's time I went to bed," without saying anything further, he turned and left.
Draco watched him leave, confused as to what his friend was doing with Granger, he had a bad feeling that if those two were going to team up against him, something was about to go horribly wrong for him. Suddenly remembering something, Draco turned to Granger, "Dumbledore stopped by while you were gone, he made me swear to tell you that we're excused from classes tomorrow morning. It's the seventh day since we were changed and he doesn't want us to be disrupting classes by suddenly changing back to humans – well, human on my part, I'm not entirely sure what you are".
Hermione just smiled at him, sensing that he was already disturbed about the trip she and Zabini had gone on, and that her smile would upset him more than any clever and biting comeback or lashing out angrily ever could.
She was more right than she knew; Draco was so shaken by this uncharacteristic smile that he actually took an unconscious step back before he turned from her and fled to his bed, not speaking to her for the rest of the night.
The next morning, Hermione was woken by a girlish scream and then loud, stomping footsteps. The first thing she noticed was that her bed was way too small, the second thing she noticed was a very angry Malfoy in a towel standing above her with startling emerald green hair.
"What have you done Granger!" He yelled at her.
She smirked his own smirk at him before responding: "Green hair Malfoy? I thought even you had better taste than that. No wait, of course you don't have better taste than that, you were raised by purebloods," Hermione threw his own lines back at him, adding insult to injury. "You know," she continued before he had a chance to get a word in, "I was going to dye it pink so it would remind you of the bunny ears you were so fond of, but the pink potion was washable and the green was permanent. I think you understand why my decision was obvious".
It took Hermione's sleep fogged brain until she was finished speaking to realize what the implications of her first observation of the morning meant; it had been rather distracted by the second one. Her bunny bed was way too small, meaning she was much bigger than she was last night; she was herself again! She jumped up quickly – too quickly really, Malfoy didn't have time to move out of the way and she managed to smash his nose rather hard with the top of her head.
This was the final straw for Draco, she messed with his hair, turned his best friend against him, and then she breaks his nose! He stood in shock for a minute before passing out right in the middle of the common room floor, once again bleeding all over the carpet.
Hermione stared at him in shock for a second, thinking that he looked rather festive with his green hair and blood everywhere. Then it clicked that she should probably be seeking help or something... Right before she also passed out.