Chapter 10

A/N: I had this whole chapter finished, but I didn't like it, so I scrapped it as well as the original ending of the previous chapter... I'm not going to edit it, but if anyone is curious about what originally happened, message me and I'll send it to you... I warn you though, it got weird. This is the last chapter! There's only an epilogue left, the end rapidly approaches... Thanks to everyone who reviewed, etcetera, etcetera.

Disclaimer: MINE! ... In my imagination. Sadly, in reality, none of it is mine.

The cupcake ended up being an easy thing to get rid of; it only took a quick scourgify, the lasting part of the spell was the mental trauma and resulting aversion to cupcakes. Hermione wasn't sure why, but something about being a cupcake – even if it was only for an hour – had destroyed her ability to eat the delicious treats. This unfortunate side effect of his spell was not something he was going to get away with, but they had pies to charm, so she was going to put finding some way to make him terrified of a food on the back burner for the moment. She made a mental not to put a lobster in his pants at some point – she still owed him a fear of food from when he turned her into a cupcake.

Revenge is why Draco and Hermione were once again up in the middle of the night. They were sitting on the kitchen floor with three pies laid out in front of them. "I'm still not sure how those cans had something actually edible in them..." Draco muttered as he charmed his pie.

Hermione glared at him. "Try a piece," she ordered, opening a drawer above her head without getting up. She pulled out a knife, cut him a slice of pie and handed it over.

Draco stared at her offering before asking: "Granger, shouldn't there be a fork and a plate involved in this?"

Hermione cut a piece of her own and started eating it with her fingers. "Just shut up and eat the pie," she told him, rolling her eyes. He still looked hesitant, so Hermione added: "You're telling me you've never eaten something with your hands that you shouldn't have?"

"Nope, never." Knowing that the filling came out of something as disturbing as a can, and that Granger made the pies, Draco was a little bit afraid of actually eating it. Hermione got tired of waiting and took it from him. She grinned evilly before squishing it all over his face.

"There, now you don't have to worry about getting your hands all dirty, you have to wash anyway to get all of that off your face," Draco was not pleased.

When he opened his mouth to yell at Granger for daring to smear pie on a Malfoy, she took another slice and shoved it in his mouth. He immediately started coughing, while she laughed.

"Are you trying to kill me?" He demanded once he could breathe again. Draco shook his head, grimacing; he was pretty sure there was some pie in his nose.

Hermione was too busy laughing to notice his change of expression as he actually took a second to taste the pie of death that nearly killed him a second ago. "You know – and if you tell anyone this, I'll have to kill you – this muggle pie is actually pretty good," Hermione grinned triumphantly at him.

"I told you it wouldn't be gross."

The next day brought snow, as well as the beginnings of their pastry related revenge. Peeking around the doorway at the main entrance of the house Hermione whispered to Draco, "Okay, the twins just went outside, they said they'd be back in a second, so when we see the doorknob turn, we strike!" She followed this with some evil laughter that disturbed Draco a little bit, but he agreed.

When they saw the doorknob turn, they struck, hearing the satisfying splatter of the pies and the shocked sounds of two people who were just attacked by pastries.

Draco ran around the corner, thinking he would get to rub his victory in the pie covered faces of the twins, only to freeze and have all the blood drain from his face at the sight waiting before him. Hermione, running behind him, collided with his back, knocking them both to the floor.

When they managed to untangle themselves and Hermione finally looked up to see what had mode Malfoy stop, all the blood drained from her face as well.

In the doorway stood the regal Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy, completely covered in pie. They weren't moving at the moment, but Draco was pretty sure their shock at being mauled by pies wouldn't last long, and when it wore off, something painful was going to happen to him. He turned to run, but once again collided with Hermione, who had edged behind him when she saw his parents. "Very brave Granger," he muttered to her.

Everyone present was shocked when Narcissa started laughing – hysterically. "Lucius Malfoy, you're covered in pie, the look on your face!" She exclaimed, running her finger down the length of his nose and licking it. "Mmmm strawberry rhubarb," humming happily, she started scooping pie off of her own face and eating it.

Draco groaned; his mother was embarrassing both him and his father again. "Mother," he said in exasperation, forgetting the he was supposed to be Mallory.

Lucius pulled out a handkerchief and started to wipe the remaining pie off of his face, his gaze remaining on his son. "Draco, if we hadn't been able to see through your little disguise when we got here, we would be able to now. That was very careless of you," he admonished with a frown.

Narcissa, finally distracted from the pie, threw herself at her son, immediately bursting into tears and wailing that she didn't understand where she had gone wrong. Hermione tried to edge away without being noticed, but the movement attracted Lucius' attention.

"Miss Granger, I never thought you would be the one harbouring him. If I hadn't asked Severus where he got that delightful picture of those Weasley twins, we never would have found him," he told her with a sneer, raising his voice to be heard over his wife's wails.

The commotion in the hallway was starting to attract the attention of the other people in the house. "What's going on here?" Arthur demanded; his wife and children peeking around him with glares for the Malfoys.

"Someone hit us with pies," Lucius said, annoyed. He pulled his hysterical wife away from their son to wipe the pie off of her face as well. She was making a scene in front of all these Weasleys, it was unacceptable. Draco was just relieved that he was free.

"Who did this?" Lucius demanded when his wife was calmer and pie free.

Hermione and Draco looked at each other, getting the same evil idea. "Fred and George, sir," Draco told him, trying to remind his father that most of the other people in the room knew who he was.

Fred and George chose that second to come back in the house, practically hitting Lucius with the door. "You two!" he said imperiously, "Come outside with me for a minute, I need to have a word with the both of you."

Molly and Arthur made to stop the man from taking their sons outside, but Narcissa spoke up. "Don't worry, he wouldn't actually touch them while visiting your house, it would be too easy to pin any injuries on him." Apparently that was all the reassurance any of them were going to get, but it was enough to keep them from chasing after them.

Hermione glanced at Draco to make sure his mother was telling the truth; if anyone would know if she was lying, it would be him. He nodded discreetly, and Hermione was actually reassured, oddly enough.

Everyone in the room watched the outside door in silence, save for the occasional sniffle from Narcissa, waiting for the three outside to return.

"Should we go check on –" Molly started to ask, only to be cut off by the door opening. A very pale and subdued Fred and George came in the house followed by a smug Lucius.

"Cissa dear, we need to have a word with Mallory and then leave this... place," Lucius told his wife, obviously trying hard not to insult the Weasleys in their own home, probably for the sake of his son.

Narcissa nodded, and followed him outside. Draco glanced at Hermione and then at the watching Weasleys before going outside with his parents.

Mallory came back in a minute later, to the relief of everyone in the room – they didn't know what the Malfoys could possibly want with Hermione's pen pal, but they were inclined to believe the worst.

"Okay! It's lunchtime, everyone at the table!" Molly ordered, snapping out of her shock and taking charge.

Hermione sat down beside Draco; she asked him in a whisper "How did you get your parents to leave without giving away your identity?"

"Easy. I reminded Father what it would do to his reputation if word got out that his son spent his winter vacation with a bunch of blood traitors," Draco answered her in a smug whisper. Hermione didn't even bother to comment on the blood traitor thing.

Everyone else assumed that since Hermione's pen pal was a family friend of the Malfoys, she was being questioned on the location of their missing son.

Fred and George were unusually subdued during the meal, jumping at shadows and every time someone addressed them. "What did Mr. Malfoy tell you two?" Harry asked them, obviously as impatient as everyone else to know what caused the extreme change in the twins.

"Horrible, horrible things," was all anyone could get either of them to say for the course of the entire meal, causing Draco to snicker; his father always had been good at the threats – creative too, and his skill with the small, undetectable spells was unparalleled.

"My bet is Father went with the standard 'if you ever so much as look in my general direction again, I'll make sure that your children's children will hear your screams'. It's vague, but paints a nice, terrifying picture. He most likely followed that with one of his charms designed to give the victim the courage of a mouse, or an extreme fear of their own reflection," Draco whispered to Hermione as they watch the twins jump in fear when someone walked behind them.

Hermione snickered with him the second time. "I actually think your father helped us get our revenge," Hermione whispered back, "Do you think we're even yet?"

Draco contemplated it for a second, watching as the twins flinched yet again as someone passed the peas too close to them. "I actually think we are pretty much even with them. If the past is anything to go on, then this paranoid behaviour should last for a month or so... There's just one more little thing I need to do." Hermione tilted her head in question.

"I spent most of my winter break as a girl, which is indirectly their fault. Want to do one big prank as revenge for my lost dignity?" Draco asked with a smirk.

"Your lost dignity is your own fault, but I'll help you, this has actually been a lot of fun, and it's not like they don't deserve it. What do you have in mind?"

Draco grinned evilly. "Something that will be as disturbing to them as having my chest stared at for an entire meal was to me."

"Which would be...?" Hermione asked. Draco glanced around the table to see if anyone had noticed their whispered conversation. Harry was watching them closely, so Draco mouthed 'later' her Hermione – he didn't want to risk someone finding out what he planned ahead of time. She nodded and they went back to their meal.

Later, in Ginny's room, Draco told Hermione and Ginny his plan for their last prank. "You mean I get to take part in this one?" Ginny asked hopefully once he was done explaining.

"Sure," Draco said as he rifled through Ginny's belongings. "We can use this thing on them. What does this torture device do?"

Ginny glared at him and snatched it back. "You're going to torture them by curling their eyelashes?" She asked dryly.

Draco pouted, it looked like it was made for horrible things and it was meant to curl eyelashes?

"When do we start?" Ginny asked excitedly, practically bouncing in her seat.

"Tonight," Draco told them both.

"Has anyone seen Fred and George?" Arthur asked the next morning during their Christmas breakfast as he looked around the room as if the missing twins were going to jump out from under the table holding fireworks – this wouldn't normally have been a concern, but they had done it in the past and it hadn't ended well.

Hermione and Draco managed to keep straight faces as they shrugged with everyone else, but Ginny couldn't help her knowing grin.

Molly, who had raised six children and knew to be weary of that look, asked worriedly "Ginny, where are your brothers?"

Ginny tried to look innocent. "I have no idea mum." Molly rolled her eyes and got up from the table to go check on the twins in their room. The three who knew what had happened waited eagerly for her reaction when she saw them.

They were not disappointed. "Ahhhhhh!" Molly screamed as she came down the stairs. "I have no idea what happened to my poor boys," she said mournfully as she glared at Ginny.

"You are in a lot of trouble missy," She told Ginny.

Everyone made a mad rush upstairs to see what horrible fate had befallen the twins. They were all shocked at what they discovered.

Fred and George were still asleep, with their hair charmed into pigtails and makeup. The breast enlargement charms had been Draco's idea – he knew exactly how traumatising it could be to have one cast on you. The curled eyelashes had also been Draco doing; he felt that something as evil looking as the eyelash curler had to hurt when you used it. He had been horribly disappointed to discover that it didn't seem to be hurting them at all. If anything, it was doing him more damage than it was to them; something about curling the eyelashes of someone you hate that creeped him out on a whole new level.

The pigtails had been Hermione's idea, and the fuzzy bunny slippers had been Ginny's contribution.

"I think this has been the most eventful winter holiday ever," Ron said happily, looking at his brothers and cringing.

Everyone rolled their eyes and got back to their Christmas celebrations.

That night after dinner, Dumbledore and the order came over to celebrate the holidays in one big party. "Okay everyone! Gather together, it's time for a picture!" Dumbledore declared, shooing everyone closer together so he could fit them all in the frame.

Fred and George grumbled about it because they had been unable to remove the charms on their pigtails or their... chests. Mallory turned to give them an evil grin, "We're going to be immortalizing this moment forever so your children's children can be disturbed by the antics their fathers got into –" Fred shoved him, causing him to collide with Hermione just as Dumbledore took the picture.

Dumbledore just smiled at them and told everyone who was still attending Hogwarts that he would see them tomorrow at school.

Hermione was glad to be back at Hogwarts. She no longer had to worry about Mallory being revealed to be Malfoy, and plotting the downfall of the twins had been exhausting. She was looking forward to some nice, straightforward schoolwork.

Getting back on the train had been interesting; Mallory had to insist on walking Hermione to her train compartment, and then get out of it again as Draco Malfoy without anyone taking notice. It had been difficult, but they had managed it.

Malfoy came out of his room just as Hermione was getting ready to leave for breakfast before her first class. "So..." he said awkwardly, seeming to grasp for something to say. "Back to hating each other then?"

Hermione smiled at him. "I hated you because you were a prejudiced little cockroach, but you lived with blood traitors and spent your holidays associating with a mudblood; I know now that you're not a bad person, Draco Malfoy," she told him, kissing him on the cheek and walking out the portrait hole, leaving him stunned.

Hermione was still smiling when she got down to the great hall to meet with her friends. Harry and Ron looked murderous while Ginny looked at her nervously.

She sat down hesitantly by her friends, wondering what was going on. "What's wrong guys?" Hermione asked them.

Harry took a picture out of his bag and handed it to her. "See for yourself."

Hermione's eyes widened in horror as she saw what had everyone so upset. It was the picture Dumbledore had taken at Christmas, except apparently Malfoy's perception charm didn't work when it was in a picture. As he was stumbling from Fred's shove, Malfoy had grabbed onto Hermione to keep himself from falling, making it look like he was hugging her.

"It's not what you think," Hermione started, but she was unable to continue – it was pretty close to what they must be thinking. She sighed; it was going to be a long day.

Hermione sighed deeply as she trudged back into the head's common room, she had been right at breakfast; it had been a long day. Ron had turned red and yelled, and Harry had looked at her like she had killed his puppy.

It had been horrible, but she had survived, she thought as she plopped down in one of the armchairs in front of the fire.

The portrait door suddenly slammed open to admit a very dishevelled Draco with what looked like a rapidly developing black eye.

"What happened?" Hermione asked worriedly from her chair.

"Potter," Draco spat, sitting on the couch. "I'm fine."

Hermione sighed, they were blowing this all out of proportion; it wasn't like Malfoy had been there to learn order secrets or something.

She grabbed her wand and conjured an icepack for him and passed it over. "Okay," Hermione said, curling up in her armchair, "you said you'd teach me to be an animagus, can we start now?"

"Why not? It's not like I can leave this room. The only reason they're not here now is they don't know the new password."

Hermione smiled happily, she'd deal with her friends later; right now, she was going to learn something new. A year ago, she never would have thought it possible, but it seemed perfectly reasonable now. Hermione thought she should probably thank the twins for that... Provided they hadn't done something else to make her angry before she saw them again.