Author Rambles: I'm on a roll. Need I say anymore?
And the Angst Queen did cry: "ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST!"
…

Also, I worry about me. :P

This has Bully-but –then –Big-Brotherly! Dean, Emo-and- depressed! Sam, mentions of Guardian! Gabriel and Surprisingly- kind! Crowley. Yup, it's the full crew.

Warning: Contains swearing, violence, angst, mentions of attempted suicide, and attempted non-con. Yup, I like to hurt Sammy. You read at your peril, all right?
Disclaimer: As always, I do not own Supernatural. Not even a teeny knife or weeny gun. If I did, well… Life would be good.

I spoil you all. Two chapters in one day? ¬_¬

Pro Bono

'Lover and friend hast Thou put far from me; and darkness is my only companion.'
~'The Astonishing Life of Octavian Nothing', M.T Anderson. ~

Dean Winchester set the glass bottle –now empty – down on the crappy motel table with a sigh. He had unknowingly made Sam's predictions come true, for he was already feeling tipsy and, as he reached for another bottle, he was well on the path of becoming drunk. Not that he cared. He welcomed the sweet taste of oblivion with open arms.

These past few months had been tough – no, gruelling. Not only was the work hard, but every day heralded the End. And along the way, they had lost people. Good, honest and hard-working people. And featuring at the top of the list was Ellen, and… Jo.

He swallowed, and began unscrewing the cap off his next dose. He didn't want to think about them, or how they had died. They had sacrificed themselves, thinking that in doing so they would aid the Winchesters in killing the Devil with the newly-acquired Colt. Now Dean snorted, taking a gulp of drink with a shake of the head. What a screw-up that had been. The Colt didn't work, and Lucifer had gone on to raise Death. So Jo had died along with her mother for nothing.

"Why?" Dean let the word slip out of his mouth. "Why did they have to die for nothing?" He looked around the room, as if hoping his question would be answered by an unseen force.

He wasn't surprised when it wasn't. He had become used to the silence that always followed after he prayed for answers.

Dean glanced over at his brother's bed. He sighed again, and set down the bottle, pushing it away from himself. He had crossed the line when they had argued, he knew. He had ranted at his brother, blaming him for all his problems, and more besides. Deep down, Dean knew he had been wrong to say such things. Yes, Sam had helped to set the Devil free, but he had been lead to do so. It wasn't his fault, not really. And anyway, hadn't he been punished enough?

He rubbed his face with his hands, and sighed, hating the twinges of guilt he was currently experiencing. His baby brother had had a rough ride too, in fact, probably worse than his own. Dean knew all too well about the nightmares that Sam suffered from each night, even though Sam tried to keep them hidden from him. He also knew that Sam still was longing for demon blood; was still addicted to it. Since they had taken down Famine and Sam had been in agony yet again after another painful 'Cold Turkey' session, Dean knew that Sam was still hungering for more. It was only to be expected, especially as Lucifer had sometimes made him dream about it.

Yes, Sam had screwed up over the years. Following Ruby, drinking the demon blood, breaking Lucifer out…But how he had already been punished for it all. He was no longer the innocent kid from Stanford, not anymore. How Dean wished he could have his baby brother back from those days. But as it was, the Sammy he had needed him. Needed him desperately. And he had failed him.

But at first that had not mattered, for Sam had had Gabriel. Dean allowed a small smile to cross his features, and relaxed into the chair he was sitting on. He would never have thought it possible, but Gabriel – the runaway Archangel and one-time Trickster – had softened towards his baby brother, and had decided to look after him. When exactly it had turned into love, Dean didn't know, but even though he had been shocked at first, he had eventually gotten used to seeing the Archangel pop up to see Sam, or walking up to find that Sammy was sleeping in Gabriel's arms. He had been grateful that the Archangel had been around to be there for Sam, because he couldn't. But then that had changed once Gabriel died. Sam had become more withdrawn than ever, and Dean, still suffering from his own problems, hadn't helped.

"Damn it, Sammy." Dean muttered, feeling furious with himself. "Why did I have to say those things to you? You were right to get angry with me. I've let you down for so long!" He picked up the bottle next to him and threw it across the room, feeling a certain satisfaction to hear it smash against the opposite wall. Dean sat upright in the chair again, still holding his head in his hands.

Where was Sam? He had told him to leave. He could be anywhere, and these were dangerous times. Demons could be out there looking for them, for all that Dean knew. Feeling furious with himself all over again, Dean decided it was time he got off his sorry ass and looked for his brother, and see about fixing the damage he had caused.

He was about to get up out of the chair when there was a knocking at the door- a short, sharp rap. He immediately reached for his gun that was currently tucked into his jeans, and crept up towards to the door. It obviously couldn't be room-service, or motel staff. Not at this time of the night. He decided to act ignorant and play along.

"Who is it? Kinda busy trying to sleep here, man!" He called out, holding his breath, waiting for a reply. For once, he got one.

"Stop your whining, Winchester, and let me in." The distinctly English-sounding accent caused Dean to sigh, but this time in frustration, He knew who it was alright. Why he was here though, he had no idea. But his night had just gotten worse.

"Crowley? What the hell are you doing here?" He hissed through the door. Like hell he was opening it and letting a demon in. He still wasn't too sure about whether to trust the so-called 'King of the Crossroads' or not. Granted, he had helped them get the last two Horsemen rings, and had given Bobby his mobility back… But he had asked for Bobby's soul, and so far to Dean's knowledge, hadn't returned it. Also, the demon had remarked once that he was helping him under the old saying, 'the enemy of my enemy is my friend', their mutual enemy being Lucifer. But if they did stop Lucifer, where would they stand? But the main reason Dean Winchester distrusted this demon? Exactly that – he was a demon, and demons were not to be trusted, under any circumstances. Look at Sam and Ruby, if you needed an example!

There was a brief session of swearing from behind the door. Probably from exasperation that he couldn't enter of his own accord, due to the ring of salt on Dean's side of the door. "Deano, let me in. I have…A bit of information I think you should be made aware of."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Not interested, Crowley. Now go away before I ram salt down your throat. Done it once to a demon, I can do it again" He threatened. But he only heard a smatter of laughter from behind the door.

"Save your threats for someone who cares. Look, you'll be interested in what I have to say, trust me." Dean could just envisage the smirk on the demon's face right now, "Especially when I tell you that it is relevant to darling little Sammy."

Dean inhaled, feeling a prick of fear for his baby brother. "What about Sam?" He asked, trying to sound casual.

"Let me in and I'll tell you. I do not want the humans wandering around here to think I am some sort of call-boy, you know. I have my pride to consider, after all." Dean grinded his teeth in frustration, and shoved his gun back into jeans. He opened the door, and with his foot, scattered the salt below the door so a gap was formed. He looked at the smirking dark-haired demon before him, and glared.

"Now tell me what the hell you are on about." He ordered, while the demon neatly side-stepped over the now-broken salt ring and strolled into the room.

Crowley laughed, and with a wave of his hand the door slammed shut, causing Dean to jump.

"Now really, Dean. You have to learn to be polite – after all, I do not have to be here, but yet… Here I am!" He gestured around the room and bowed, grinning. On looking at Dean, who stonily looked back, Crowley rolled his eyes. "Fine. I can see that you are not in the mood."

"I'm not." Dean retorted curtly, "Tell me what this 'information' is, and why does it concern Sam?" He watched as the demon stopped smirking, and instead looked serious, tilting his head to one side.

"Sam is heading into trouble, Dean. He doesn't know it, but he is." He paused, and looked Dean in the eyes. "Some demons are trailing him as we speak. And what they are thinking is not pretty." His eyes darkened.

Dean felt his heart speed up. Sam, in danger? He had been right to be afraid of the demon threat then. But should he believe what the demon was saying to him? "How do you know this? How did you know we're here?" He asked, his distrust of the demon taking precedence for a second.

Crowley rolled his eyes again, but Dean could see a glimmer of anger there. "Look, Winchester, as big as your ego may be, I do not answer to you. Nor does the World revolve around you. Those demons were here before I was, and I knew where to find you because I just knew. Let's leave it at that."

Dean found his own anger growing. "I didn't ask for you to come here, did I? So don't act like I did, demon." He spat out, clenching his fists at his side. "For all I know, you're just lying to me!" He paused, breathing heavily. "And why do you care so much about helping us; about helping Sam?"

Crowley seemed to think over something for a second. "Because…" he stopped, shaking his head, "actually, it is none of your business, Winchester. I decided to help. Be grateful."

Dean snorted. "It has everything to do with me! And why should I be grateful to a fucking demon, for crying out loud?"

The Crossroads demon resisted the urge to strangle the oldest Winchester and instead threw him a glare. "Fine. Now I know not to bother helping you in the future. But when darling little Sammy doesn't come home, then you will know that I was telling the truth." He spun around and headed towards the door. He was nearly out of the room when Dean called him back.

He had been doing some thinking, and had decided on trusting Crowley, just for tonight. The chance that his brother may be in danger was too great right now, and Dean realised that. He decided to let his heart rule his head, just this one time.

"Crowley, wait!" He hated having to grovel to a demon, but it was what had to be done, if it helped him find Sam. "Tell me where to find him. Please." He watched as the demon slowly turned to face him, his dark eyes looking into his own pleading emerald ones.

"You wouldn't be able to help him; he has at least two demons trailing him. As pissed as you are right now, you couldn't fight an old man."

"Just tell me where he is. I'll deal with that all later."

Crowley considered for a moment, and then smiled. "I'll go one better. I'll take you to him myself. And while I am at it, and because I am so kind and warm-hearted," Dean snorted, but Crowley went on, "I shall help you with those demons. After all, I do not want them reporting my location, so I might as well help you out." His eyes glittered, whether it was to do with eagerness at the thought of a massacre, Dean didn't know. He was only thinking about Sam, and he couldn't help but feel a little thankful Crowley had volunteered to help. He would worry about why later. Sam came first.

"Thank you." He said hesitantly; the words sounded wrong on his tongue. After all, thanking a demon wasn't something he did everyday. "I guess."

"Next time though, you trust me." The demon's voice sounded dark, but then he was smirking again. "Right, darling. Time to fly."

The next thing Dean felt was a hand around his arm, and a gentle tap on his forehead, before all suddenly went black.

Yay! Superhero! Dean to the rescue!
HAHA. Just thought about it - it's really BATMAN! Dean and ROBIN! Crowley. :P

...Yes.
Reviews are like a huggle from Dean/Jensen. Any takers? ;)