I am back - I hope so - Covid hit me a couple of weeks ago and I have been struggling with exhaustion in the last couple of days, still.

Oh and I am not sure if I can keep up with the weekly updates. So no promises.

Chapter 5

Jay was the first of the team to notice a change concerning their sergeant. On their sergeant and on Kim. He noticed a change in both of their behavior. And he would have been a bad detective if he hadn't. I mean, if he hadn't noticed it.

Today the team was gathered around the whiteboard. Talking about all the leads they had. But it was another lead that had gone cold. Again, they were no closer to Al's killer. And once again, they couldn't arrest anyone. I mean, arrest them for the murder.

" Goddamn it," Hank cursed.

" `Sarge,' we're going to find him. We have to," Adam said. His wish was also that it would finally be over. To see Al's killer brought to justice. As well as Hank Voight. In Adam's opinion, their sergeant was also responsible for the death of Alvin Olinsky.

"Not if we continue to do such a botched job, though. It is time for us to focus on our work. Look, we're experienced cops, no longer rookies. This guy can't be running around free anymore. No way he's gonna get away with this. No way. That' s what we owe Al," Hank unleashed his anger, " An' not for us to be sitting around doin' nothin' while this guy enjoys his life. Ah, a life that Al doesn't have anymore. He's dead. And the guy who's responsible for his death has to finally suffer. Got to feel our pain and our anger."

And then he stormed into his office and slammed the door behind him.

For a moment, the team just looked at each other. What had happened? What was going on with their sergeant?

Not long after, Kim broke away from the rest of the team and headed in the direction of Voight's office. She paused for a moment in front of the closed door. On second thought, should she really go in to see him? Well, she had just witnessed his outburst - his anger. Who knows, maybe she should give him a moment to calm down? Nope, right now she was going to go to him. Cause she had vowed to herself that she would be there for him. I mean, even if he pushed her away. And even if he didn't want her help. Or at least not at the moment. No matter if he pushed her away. So, she would still be there for him. That' s what she owed him. Not to mention Al.

So she opened the door to his office a little and slipped inside.

Hank sat at his desk, arms propped on the table and with his face buried in his hands. She literally sensed his despair. Oh, she felt so sorry for him. If she could, she would have pulled him into her arms, would have held him and assured him over and over again that everything would be all right. To make the pain go away. Someday.

Oh, but she couldn't. She couldn't take away his pain, unfortunately.

" We all give it our best shot. No matter how small a lead, we are looking at it."

" I don't think that's enough, though. Absolutely not enough. I mean, Al's killer is still out there," Hank raised his head and looked at Kim.

Kim regarded him before she slowly walked closer to him. Stopping right next to him.

"You know, I want to find him. Well, I just have to," Hank confessed to her.

"And that we will", Kim promised.

"But when we-"

"Hank, you are too hard on yourself and on your team. Well, how would you feel about just maybe taking a break. Go for a walk. You know, just to clear your head. It might also help us with the search," Kim suggested, even though she already knew the answer.

"I don't need a break," he disagreed with her, "There's only one thing I want. For us to finally do our job, you know, to do it properly, and find this guy."

Hank hated this feeling of inability, of failure. Finding the killer of his best friend was something he was unable to do. He was not able to arrest him. Well, not now.

Meanwhile, Jay's gaze rested on the closed office door. It wasn't the first time he had watched Kim disappear into her sergeant's office. With him. Just like Al used to do. During moments when her sergeant had lost his temper, it had always been Al who had been the voice of reason. Or when Voight used the old ways to interrogate a suspect – Al had always been nearby. Had kept a watchful eye on Voight and made sure that he never crossed the line.

So, apparently, that was Kim's job now.

„Everything ok?" Hailey asked.

„Yeah", he answered. But still he was looking at the closed door.

When Jay thought about the past few days now, it had always been Kim who had been staying close to Voight.

Jay recalled how the last time Voight and Adam had interrogated a suspect, Kim had been standing behind the glass watching the men. Up until now, Jay had believed that Kim had been standing there to watch Adam. In fact, he had believed that Kim had wanted to keep an eye on Adam. To his surprise, he had been mistaken, and Kim appeared to want to be there for Voight. In every way possible.

It wasn't until the evening, as the bullpen slowly emptied, that Jay had the opportunity to talk to Kim about his little observation. Or at least he tried to, for he was not exactly sure what he had really seen. I mean, what he believed to have seen. And maybe he was wrong.

Currently standing at her desk, Kim kept glancing over at her sergeant's closed office door. All the while, she wondered if she should talk to him again. On some level, Kim didn't want to just let the conversation in his office slide. You know, the conversation that happened there earlier today. For some reason she felt the urge to say one more thing, for it was an uneasy feeling that crept up on her as she thought of that moment in his office. Remembering his exact words, "I don't care anymore." Oh, that didn't sound good.

But on the other hand, Kim didn't want to push Hank any further. Who knows, maybe he would come up to her if he needed to talk.

" Is Voight okay?" asked Jay as he walked up to her.

Kim had an inkling of what Jay might mean when he said those words. He was referring to her sergeant and his mood. Not sure what she should answer, though. Mainly she wasn't sure what she was allowed to say to him. Kim wasn't sure if she was allowed to share what Voight had previously revealed to her. The last thing she wanted to do was betray his trust.

"I had something to discuss with him," Kim replied simply.

Jay eyed her for a moment before nodding. Granted, he wasn't really satisfied with her answer. Yet, he hoped that Kim knew that she could always talk to him if needed. And before he could say anything else, he noticed Voight's office door being opened and Voight leaving his office. No, leaving was the wrong word for this. Voight literally stormed out of his office. And without paying attention to the others, Voight dashed down the stairs.

With a worried look on her face, Kim watched him go. For her part, she hoped he wouldn't do anything stupid. That he would keep his anger under control, no matter where he went. Kim couldn't anticipate what else would happen later. Hell, what else he would do.

When the ringing of her cell phone jolted Kim out of her sleep, it was already past midnight. A glance at her display told her that it was no one from the team. Instead, it was a number from outside Chicago.

"Burgess," she answered the phone - her voice bleary with sleep.

"I need you to pick me up," said the voice on the other end of the line. And it took Kim a moment to realize that it was the voice of her sergeant. That he was the one calling her. But why? What had happened?

It was after one o'clock as Kim parked her car in front of the bar, that he had told her about on the phone. The one she should pick him up from. Briefly Kim looked around before she spotted him. He was slumped at the bar. And then she spotted his injuries.

„Hank, Oh my God", Kim was at a loss of words as she looked at her sergeant and his injuries. His split lip, the swollen eye that was turning blue.

„You should see the other one", tried Hank to joke with her. But a stern look from Kim made him fall silent. Kim didn't feel like joking at the moment.

Worried, Kim looked at her boss. What had happened? Had he been in an accident? Or had he been robbed? Or had he simply been in a fight?

" So, what actually happened?" Kim asked the question that had been burning on her mind ever since her phone had started ringing.

"Some guy here in the bar made a stupid jab," he said.

" And so you got into a fight with him?" Kim couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"He had it coming."

Kim didn't like hearing that he had gotten into a fight. Oh, but there was nothing she could do about that. I mean, he was a grown man after all. And so she raised her hand and gently stroked his cheek. It made Hank wince at the touch.

"You need a hospital, you need-"

"Bur-, Kim, I just want to go home. That's why I called you. The barman took my car keys from me. He thinks I shouldn't be driving, too much alcohol," he interrupted her.

"But, you should-"

"Please Kim."

There was hesitation on Kim's part before she nodded. Even though she didn't like it. Absolutely didn't like it. In fact, she would have preferred to take him to a hospital. It would have reassured her to have a doctor look at his face. As well as the other injuries he must have had. Only he wouldn't. Which she had to accept. Unfortunately.

Silence reigned in the car during the drive back to Chicago.

Kim was still trying to get her thoughts and feelings under control. She had been terrified from when she received the call. So what would happen if she got another call like that? I mean, what if her cell phone rang again in the middle of the night and it was horrible news - and that' s what she was afraid of. After all she didn't even know for sure what had really happened tonight.

While she knew that Hank was obviously fine, it only eased a part of her worry. Worry about him.

" To get to my house, you should have turned left," Hank broke the silence.

" All I want to do now is get back to my bed."

" Well, before that can-" but seeing the look Kim was giving him, it occurred to Hank it would be wiser not to say another word. Now, it was a combination of worry, anger, and something else he saw in her eyes. Something he wasn't seeing for the first time. But it was something he didn't want to think about in more detail. Well, not yet.

And so he leaned his head against the car's side window and closed his eyes.

He tried to block out the thoughts of the previous hours of that day. About the argument that had happened in the bar. Well, remembering the man's words that had made him so angry. As well as to Kim's worried face. At the precinct earlier. There and then. Calling her, from the bar, he had thought it was a good idea to be calling Kim. Except there was no one else he could have called. With Al dead and Erin in New York, Kim was the only one left.

Somehow, she had always been there lately. Around for him. Usually, in the morning, he would find a fresh cup of coffee on his desk. Oh, and sometimes even a croissant.

He' d always noticed her worried look.

But now he didn't really want someone who was worried but someone who would drive him home without talking. Someone who wouldn't ask any questions.

And yet he had wanted Kim. Somehow.

"We're here," at one point Kim's voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Kim, I," he started another attempt to convince her that he wanted to go home. I mean, that he wanted to head to his house. However, she just shook her head. Well, Kim was tired. And she didn't want to argue with him. Her only wish was to go back to bed.

So without saying another word, he followed her into her apartment.

"For your eye", Kim gave him the bag of frozen peas.

"Thanks."

Kim still remembered an evening when she had tended to Adam's wounds. And one time when she even treated Antonio's injuries. After all, she was there for her team. Nevertheless, she had never imagined that it would come to this. For her to take care of her sergeant in such a way. Take care of his wounds. Though she had already done it once. It was after Al's funeral.

Just as Kim was about to walk past him toward her bedroom, he stopped her by grabbing her arm.

"Kim, so I . . . well, you know, about today. . I" he wasn't sure how to explain what had happened.

"It's fine, Sir", she answered an shrugged of his arm, walking towards her bedroom.

But it wasn't fine.