a/n: Everyone should go read my other story about Lily because I love it haha, anyways this chapter is pretty dramatic, as are the next few chapters, or at least how i'm planning them. It's not my best work but I have been having a bit of writers block on this story so of course it isn't amazing. Anyways hope you enjoy and review please!

disclaimer: I don't own it.

I woke up and put my hands over my face. I really didn't want to get out of bed today. I didn't want to see James, and I didn't want to have to lie to Matt about everything. I really tried to think of a reasonable excuses for me to stay in my bed all day but I couldn't quiet think of one because I suck at lying about things like staying inside on a perfectly nice afternoon, although my bed really was the more appealing place to be. I told myself that I needed to get up because I couldn't hide from him forever.

I finally pulled myself together and got up and took a shower. I turned it up as hot as it would go and let the water rush over me. I stood there telling myself I could do this over and over. After about thirty minutes I got out of the shower. I stood at the mirror and stared at myself. I don't remember my body getting this curvy, had I really looked like this yesterday? I shook my head and noticed my hair was finally starting to grow, which I much appreciated.

I walked over to my trunk and stared at it for a few minutes, finally deciding that today was going to be a sweatpants and t-shirt day. I pulled out my favorite gray sweats that were extremely soft, and then one of Matt's shirts. If you couldn't tell by now I loved stealing Matt's clothes away from him.

I finally pulled myself out of the room letting my hair do it's own thing and not bothering with any makeup. Maybe I wouldn't even seen James today, it was a Sunday which meant that I was supposed to stay with the Gryffindors but there was no way I was going to hang around with James after last night, so I figured I would find Rose or Lily, or just some random person, or just go to the library, or go read by the lake. I would just find something to do, and I told Matt that we were going to have lunch together since I didn't stay the night with him. Matt I could do that was no problem but I just was really hoping that I wasn't going to have to see James.

Well luck was just not on my side today considering right as I hit the bottom step of the girls staircase, he hit the bottom step of the guys. He looked at me, and I looked at him, and we didn't say a word. I didn't have a single expression on my face, and he didn't have one on his. I didn't know how to act because well I said I was going to play things how he played them, but he was giving me nothing to go on. And then after what seemed like an eternity he grinned stupidly, and then looked at my t-shirt and I saw a darkness enter his eyes.

So much for things going back to normal. I should have worn a different shirt considering he was mad at me for "being a traitor". Ah well, so much for my day going good. I walked away before he could say anything though, because I really didn't want to get into it in the middle of the common room. I didn't really know where I was going too I just walked out to the grounds and walked up to the lake sitting on a rock next to it.

After about twenty or so minutes I started to get extremely bored and decided that I seriously needed new friends, or Matt and I should just get rid of these house day's although I didn't think it was going to take that long for James to get over his hissy fit. I laid there mussing over my life and how lame it really was at this moment. Seriously I was spending my Sunday laying on a rock by the lake.

How cool am I?

I kept trying to think of anything but the reason for me sitting out here by myself, because thinking about that was strange and I really couldn't wrap my head around it. I couldn't help it though almost every two minutes on the dot my mind would wander back to how James's lips felt against mine and I would feel myself shiver. This was going to be a long day if didn't have things to distract me.

When lunch finally rolled around I jumped up and practically ran to the great hall, I went over to the Ravenclaws and a huge smile spread across my face as I saw the most lovely face in the world.

"Hello, my favorite people ever," I said smiling as I sat down next to my gorgeous boyfriend.

"I would think you would be a little more upset with us considering we just beat your Quidditch team and all," Brynn said with a smirk, I just waved my hand in dismissal.

"So Matt I was thinking, you know this having to spend Sunday's with our houses deal, it's really not that necessary is it? I mean we originally did it so James wouldn't have a cow about not spending time with me, but he has been having them anyways so let's just forget about it yeah?"

"Sure, I don't mind spending more time with you, although I am kind of starting think you have more of my clothes than I do. I didn't even know you had that one," he said indicating my shirt.

"It looks better on her anyway Matt," Tavis said.

"Can't argue with that, looks better off her though," he said with a grin.

"EW, Matt, eating here," Brynn said.

"We can all see that Brynn," he said ignoring her as she fake gagged.

"So what's up with you and Potter?" Rory asked.

"I got no clue, he is nuts, we got in a row last night about him thinking I am a traitor to the house or something. He has been extremely strange lately, and all he does is glare at me," and kiss me when were in the middle of fighting, but I wasn't about to tell them all about that.

"He's a bastard I mean look at him, last week he was all over Payton, and now he has one of her best mate's hanging on his arm," Matt said as I looked over to the Gryffindor table and saw James with a smirk on his face and Ellie whispering into his ear, and for some reason I was extremely pissed about it.

I mean it wasn't that he had another girl he was shagging, he always had another girl to shag. I was pissed because he was spending time with a girl right now that I couldn't stand instead of me who was supposed to be his best mate.

The git, honestly he gets mad at me for no reason, doesn't tell me about it, yells at me for being a traitor, then kisses me, and now he is all over the second most annoying girl in the entire school.

Right then he looked up and over at me and our eyes met, and I have to say that my face was definitely a glare, and he just smirked back.

Even though James and I fought all the time we had never been in an actual fight like this. The only time we had ever not talked was after we had sex. It was going to take some getting used to but I wasn't going to just go up to him and beg him to be friends again. This was totally his fault and until he was ready to be friends with me again I was just going to have to deal with it.

"Wow, you two really are fighting huh? Are you sure everything is alright?" Matt asked as he squeezed my hand under the table.

"Yeah everything is fine, who needs James anyway?"

And even though I thought Matt was going to agree with me and say good riddance, he still looked concerned, so I gave him a reassuring smile, which I don't think he really believed.

I spent that day and everyday following with the Ravenclaws and to be honest it was really weird spending all my time with them and I wasn't used to it at all. Lisel was even more annoying then usual. I wish the girl would learn to shut up once and a while. On a good note Rory really opened up around me and I found him and Tavis' cleaver banter quiet enjoyable, really they were making me laugh all the time. The big problem with the new arrangement though was with Brynn. It seemed that she was getting more and more annoyed with me and I had no clue why, we had always been good friends and now she was snapping at me at the most random times, which was causing her and Matt to get in fights.

I felt horrible because they were twins, and they were really fighting about me, and I had no idea why. It seemed like everyone was just turning on me without reason lately although the reason for Brynn didn't take too long to figure out.

Spending all my time with Matt however was amazing. I was extremely comfortable with him and it was nice to always have someone there who loved you unconditionally. Some couples would get annoyed with each other if they spent every minute together but with Matt it wasn't bad at all. He was basically perfect.

The next week when I was walking back to the common room from the library one night I started thinking about how much I really missed the guys because I did. The Ravenclaws were alright to be around I mean yeah I loved Matt and it was fun hanging around with Tavis, Rory, Lorcan, and Lysander but it just wasn't the same as with the guys and when I was with them I also had to deal with Lisel and Brynn. With the guys it was always drama free, the only thing I had to deal with when I was hanging out with them was the occasional fan girl giggling a little loud or thinking she could actually hang out with us and join in our group conversations.

I missed Liam being the goof he was and just saying stupid things. I missed Miles and how he was always so easy going. I missed Brayden and his way of knowing exactly what to say at the right times. But most of all I missed James. I missed my best mate, and it was worse than earlier in the year when we were just too busy, because now we were physically avoiding each other.

Not to mention he was on the girl rampage more than normal. Usually it was one or two girls a week with an occasional three thrown in there but this past week it's been a girl every day and it was really starting to piss me off because seriously he was going to spend all his time with those thick slags but he couldn't even take the time to tell me why he was upset at me.

As I was mussing over this and grumbling under my breath I turned the corner and saw a pair of people stumble out of a broom closet.

What I saw was seriously the biggest surprise of my life. There was James Potter and Brynn Hilton making out with James' hand up Brynn's shirt.

I let out a sound that was a mix between a squeel and an intake of breath causing James' head to snap towards me. I felt my face getting hot and I was sure it was bright red. This was one of the most awkward situations I could have ever been placed into.

James face was shocked and was probably a mirror image of mine, Brynn however had a smug smile on her face as she wrapped herself around James.

"Ah so now you know, your little boy has found himself someone better to play with," and that sentence really made no sense.

"Uh James and I never 'played' we were just friends," I replied.

"Ha right, you want me to believe that after 7 years with always being around James Potter you never once did anything with him. I mean yeah my brother is cute he looks like me, but he is no match for James here," she said, and seriously I had no idea what was going on.

"Brynn, you know James and I aren't like that, and you know I love your brother, what are you talking about?"

"I got to go," James said running off down the hall and then Brynn turned to me with a vicious look in her eyes.

"Want to know the real reason I became friends with you? Because you were friends with James and I didn't think it was fair that an ugly chubby little girl got to constantly hang around with the hottest guy in school. So I befriended you in order to get to James, because I had to have him. And then what happens, you loose you chub and start dating my brother? Did you know how that felt? When I was trying to steal someone from you and you ended up stealing someone from me, my most important someone. Well let me tell you it sucked, so when I found out you and James here were having a little tiff I figured it would be my perfect opportunity. Not to mention I don't get any time with my brother anymore since you are now ALWAYS with us. I mean before at least I had Sunday, now I have nothing. So I am going to steal away your most important someone, I am going to steal James away from you,"

"Your nuts," I said so eloquently because that was honestly the only thing I could think to say, and what did she do, she flew at me and started attacking me. For a second I thought about when I had attacked James and then that thought left when I felt the stupid bint pulling on my hair. Don't know why the Ravenclaw wasn't the one who thought of doing magic, but I got my wand out in the midst of the attack and stunned her. I stood up and brushed myself off.

"Okay you crazy bitch" I said mirroring what James called me the other night. "Listen closely, I didn't steal your brother from you for one, just because were dating doesn't mean he isn't your brother, but I'm sorry you feel that way. And just so you know James and I might be in a fight right now but your not going to 'steal him away from me.' Have you ever seen James talk to another girl for longer than a week long period other than me? No, you haven't, because you know what I'm not his play thing like you, I'm his friend. So good luck with your quest, but it's not going to happen," I said as I turned and left her in the corridor knowing the spell would ware off soon.

Well that was quiet a surprise really, but then when I thought about it, it made a little more sense. Brynn did always get quiet when we talked about James but I thought that was just because she didn't really know him not because she was secretly like all the other girls in this school. She also would always say she was grossed out when Matt and I actually acted like a coupled but I thought that was just her teasing because well he was her brother.

I had no idea why everything was going so crazy in my life. I mean first I had all this shit with James and now I had to deal with my boyfriends crazy ass twin sister who had a personal vendetta against me because I was friends with James. Honestly did every girl in this school have to hate me just because James and I were friends? I would understand it a little more if I was actually dating the bloke but I mean, we weren't dating, and I wasn't keeping him from other girls or anything.

I had heard before that after James ended things with girls they would always think it was because James was secretly in love with me or something equally as bizarre as that. I don't think anyone actually believed that for long because James and I were just mates and it was obviously nothing more than that.

I was starting to think that everyone in this entire school was crazy. Seriously the only thing stable in my life right now was my relationship with Matt and thank god for that. As I was thinking about how wonderful he was I realized that my boyfriends twin sister seriously just attacked me in the hallway.

Well this was going to make family dinners a little awkward.

I didn't know if I was supposed to tell Matt about this or what. Would he believe me? Would he get mad at his sister? Would she deny it or try to make me look like the 'bad guy'?"

Why did my life have to be so complicated?

And then I got really upset with James. Sure the girl just told me she had only been friends with me because she wanted to get to James. But I had a feeling that James was going to hurt her. I mean how couldn't he. The girl was obviously crazy about him and James never actually cared about girls. Especially lately, so she was just going to get thrown to the curb in a few days and then where would she be.

I was also assuming that James did not know she was just trying to get at me, at least I hope he didn't because then I would be even more pissed at him. But if he didn't know then why in the world did he think it was a good idea to hook up with one of the only girls in this entire school I could stand, and a girl he knew that I was good friends with. I mean honestly how did he think that would turn out? That a girl who I liked was just going to turn around after he dumped her and forget that I was his best mate. No she would bug the hell out of me for weeks and he would then end up ruining my friendship with the girl. I mean sure it was a fake friendship obviously because well she was crazy, but he didn't know that.

So as I made it to the common room and looked over to find James sitting with a different girl by the fire I went ballistic again. He really was testing my patience lately, I had never had this many blow ups before it was even two months into school.

"Are you fucking kidding me Potter," I yelled at him from across the room, he wasn't even getting a first name right now I was way too pissed.

"Oh just decided to grace us with your presence there Dell? It's real good to see your face around Gryffindor in stead of stuck with all of the nerd herd you follow around like a puppy now of days," he said sarcastically

"Yeah the nerd herd which includes that girl you were just snogging in a broom closet not twenty minutes ago, who definitely is not the same girl you are with now,"

"Your point? Even nerds need loving Dell, which you obviously know since you give it to your little geek boy too,"

"My point is that what the hell were you thinking when you decided it was a good idea to go after the one girl in this school I can actually stand that isn't related to you,"

"I was thinking that she is hot and probably a good shag, do you want me to let you know?"

"No Potter, I don't want you to let me know because I don't want it to happen. Are you seriously such a bleeding idiot that you thought it would be a good idea to hook up with one of the only girls I am friends with so when you fuck things up, which you will, she will come to me and complain asking me what she did wrong when in reality it's always your god damn fault. Not to mention her twin brother, you remember him right he hates your guts and your going to add on breaking his sisters heart in the mix too so he really wants to murder you. Oh yeah and that guy, he happens to be my boyfriend, so not only do I have her crying to me, but I will also have him complaining about my 'best mate' even more than usual. Do you just plan to make my life a living hell or did you just really honestly forget about everyone but yourself like you usually seem to do?"

And yes I did yell all of this at him in the common room, when most of the Gryffindor population was present, and the girl he was with was still sitting right there on his lap.

"I think I'll let you two work this out, see you later James," the girl said getting up and running away from me. Smart girl.

"You just love taking away my fun don't you," he said watching the girl go.

"Right because thats why I am yelling at you right now, and you really need to be hooking up with a girl when you got down with another just recently,"

"I didn't say that I needed it, I just wanted it. Besides I don't see what your problem is, I mean yeah okay so all those things might suck for you, but where does this situation suck for me?"

Seriously I didn't mean to really hurt the bloke, but I just couldn't control myself. We already know I don't do well when my anger is pent up or when I am in a rage. So when asked later what I was thinking when I picked up the huge book next to me and threw it at his head causing him to topple back in his chair and land next to the fire, which is where his robe's and the chair caught on fire, I would simply say that I wasn't thinking all I saw in that moment was red.

Thank Merlin someone in the room realized what was happening and put out the fire, as I looked down I saw a passed out James with a huge cut on his forehead and blood trickling down his face.

"Shit, Shit, Shit, I didn't kill him right? He is okay right?" I asked hysterically.

"Sh Della calm down, he isn't dead," Brayden said as he sat me down on the couch and started to examine James. I was freaking out seriously my whole body felt strange and I couldn't get my breathing under control.

"Miles will you take James to the infirmary, Liam go with him, make sure you levitate him and don't let him run into anything," he said sending them off righting the chair and coming back over to me.

"Okay listen to me Della, I'm going to take you to the nurse too, so you can get a calming drought in you, for now your just going to have to focus on breathing. Do you think you could walk for me?" He asked as I tried to slow my breathing I nodded and he stood up and gave me a hand, to which I accepted and followed after him.

Before I left the room I noticed how silent it was and how every person in the room's eyes were on me. They all probably thought I was nutters, hell I thought I was nutters.

When we got to the hospital wing and I saw James laying with the nurse flitting about him in a frenzy my breathing started to hitch again.

"Breathe Della, Breathe," Brayden said next to me.

"I can't believe I did that," I whispered.

"It's okay it was an accident, you didn't mean to hurt him,"

"I just wanted him to shut his mouth, really. Now everyone is going to think I'm psycho,"

"Well we all know your not,"

"Are you sure about that, I'm even starting to think there is something wrong with me,"

"There is nothing wrong with you Dell, just wait here a minute while I go get you that potion,"

I sat in the bed behind me as he walked away and tried not to look at James lying in the bed down the room. I tried to think about anything but what had happened tonight and so I thought about Matt. I thought about how much I loved him and how much I wish I was with him right now and not stuck in this hospital wing with the guy I had put here.

Okay no, not thinking about that.

I tried to just imagine him in front of me right now, his flowy blonde hair and gorgeous blue eyes, tan skin that looked amazing with his toned muscles. I imagined the way his arms felt around me, and his kisses that made me soar.

When Bray eventually came back with a glass full of a creamy looking substance he told me that the nurse wanted me to stay there tonight. I told him there was no way I was staying when James was lying right over there but he said that the potion would make me feel better and it would all be okay. I took the potion and instantly felt better. I laid down on the bed and Bray tucked me in.

"Sleep well Dell," he whispered to me as my eyes closed and I fell asleep.

The next morning when I woke up it took about a minute for everything to come back from last night to come back to me.

"Bloody hell," I said as I sat up slowly and looked around the room. Today was going to be a long day.

"Good morning dear, how are you feeling today," Madame Jules said from across the room, I'm pretty sure she was talking to James.

"Like I just got run over by a herd of Thestrals," came the groan from James' bed.

"Yes well I wasn't told how you got these injuries, do you remember how it happened?"

Well shit, now she was going to get peeved at me and start yelling my ear off.

"Had a nasty fall hit my head on the leg of a chair and landed next to the fire, guess I caught on fire too,"

He lied. Why would he do that for me? Maybe he didn't actually hate me now.

"That is certainly unlucky, especially in a room full of people. I had to set a girl up because she was freaking out about you too much to stay in her own room. Please be more careful in the future because I do not particularly enjoy having my beds filled up because someone was clumsy," she said in a somewhat nasty voice.

"Right I'll remember that, do I have to stay here today?" he asked.

"I think it would be for the best if you did, but I will release you tonight,"

"Thanks, and who was the girl who had to come in?" He asked.

"The Wood boy brought her in, I didn't get to talk to her but she is down three beds," she said opening the curtain as I turned a sheepish smile in his direction. He flinched at first when he saw me and then he just turned his face back to no expression.

"Oh your awake too, you can go once you feel ready, do you think you are up to go to classes today?" She asked me.

I wanted to be brave enough to go to classes and have to deal with everyone talking about me, but I honestly did not think I was going to be okay with that so I told her that I didn't think I could.

"Well you can either stay here or go back to your room then, no dilly dallying in the halls and no over working yourself with all of the course work these teachers give you," she said.

"I think I'll just go back to my room then," I said after thinking about being stuck in the hospital wing with James all day.

"Alright, straight to your room now miss," she said as I got up to go. Before I left the room I took one last look at James and noticed he was also looking at me. I smiled sheepishly at him again and he continued with his unreadable expression.

As I walked out of the hospital wing I felt my heart drop in my stomach. Was that the end of James and I's friendship? Did he hate me now? I mean yeah he covered for me, but that could be just because we used to be close but what if he didn't want anything more to do with me.

If you think about it since school started I had blown up on him countless times, and not only that but I went so mad that I actually put him into the hospital wing. I literally I caught the bloke on fire. I don't know if I could forgive someone for doing that to me. Even if it was James, the guy who had been my best mate for seven years. There wasn't a lot that could throw away a seven year friendship but I have a feeling that this was something that definitely could

Plus, James was already mad at me before I went all nutters on him. Adding together all of these things I felt I wasn't only loosing a friendship but I was loosing my best mate. I never thought I wouldn't ever be able to talk and laugh with James again. Imagining it is impossible, sure we had been fighting for the past couple of weeks, but I never thought the fight was permanent I just thought he needed a bit to cool down and then he would come back to me.

James was always a constant in my life and I felt like if I lost his friendship for good, I wouldn't be me anymore. There was never a Della without a James. For all the years that mattered anyway. He was really the only person I can't imagine myself without.

Is that horrible of me? That I can imagine myself without the man I love, but I can't imagine myself without my best friend. I guess it's because I didn't really know myself until I was at hogwarts and when I was at hogwarts I always had James, but Matt I only had for two years.

Yeah it would suck if Matt and I broke up, and yeah I don't know if I would ever be able to get over it. He Is my first love, and I really do love him a lot. Right now he is the only thing that is holding me up, but I mean I have only been with him for two years, in teenage dating time that is an eternity but if you look at it in the long run 2 years isn't even a fractional part of your life. It's a mere second in a day, in comparison. 7 years is a much longer time and well 7 years is what James and I had.

I still think I would be more upset if Matt and I broke up though, but it was something I could imagine. Not that I thought we were going to break up anytime soon,or can think of any reason why we would possibly break up. But I could picture my life without Matt in it. Sure it would be a shitty life but I can still see it. I cannot in any possible way picture my life without James.

I guess that is the difference between being someones best mate for 7 years and being in love with a bloke for 2. It's not that I have stronger feelings for James or anything, the feelings are just different. James is a comfort, like a brother or a dad, and Matt is a lover. There completely different and not really comparable so it isn't something I should worry about.

Right?