Can we create something beautiful and destroy it? Chapter 6: Contagious, a degrassi fanfic

You guys are fucking amazing! Really, I was not expecting so many reviews so you so much for the support. And sorry for the wait, been busy job hunting and having fun. Had not much motivation to write either. But! That will change.

And, just to clarify... I really hate the word 'emo', even the way it sounds makes me cringe so if you can avoid calling Adeline that, please do. I'm trying to keep the Degrassi drama up to par. The whole "nothing can happen without it instigating something worse happening". Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. :]

And I did get an interesting review from one person, who suggested that pain is the only thing people think about when they do cut. At least, I think that was it. If not feel free to correct me. :] But I have been there. You will find that anything I write in my stories... are probably things I have experienced. Hopefully, that doesn't make it awkward after reading chapter 5 (If you read it) . Ahh.. heeheemm... If there is one thing I have learned from writing it's that you should write what you know. And if you want to include something you aren't familiar with, you will have to do quite a bit of research or readers will judge you on what you don't know. The writer's world is scary, isn't it? Lots of criticism. But I shouldn't clog up the story with my rambling.

So! To the story!

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I groaned, rolling over in my bed. It felt like little kittens were crawling around in my tummy while still in their little gross bubbles. Like when they're born. Yeah, thank you Captain Morgan. I squinted my eyes open, they felt all gooey. Probably due to the fact that I didn't bother taking my makeup off last night. I probably looked really attractive. Eli was sitting at the edge of my bed, fully dressed with a notebook on his lap and a pen in his hand. He looked really attractive when he was in thought.

"Good morning." My voice crackled and Eli looked up, smiling at me.

"Hey beautiful." He grinned and I couldn't help, but blush. Then it came to me.

Shit, we had sex last night. What was I going to tell him? Did he remember? Did he think we were together now? I had to tell him this couldn't go anywhere, but how? I was afraid, maybe he'd run away, but then again it wouldn't hurt me now with it being so early. Maybe.

"Uh, Eli... I..." I sat up in my bed and started fiddling with my fingers. "About last night... it didn't mean anything, right? I... I can't... I mean I don't have relationships... anymore..."

Eli's features dropped, he seemed so happy only a moment ago and now his face was emotionless and he looked away, out the window. "Are you kidding, Adeline? I did those things with you because I liked you. I don't just advertise my body for people to violate."

He seemed angry and my heart dropped. I never thought Eli would be angry with me, but I guess that would be just my luck.

"Eli, I was drunk, I don't know what to tell you. I'm afraid of getting close to you." I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to will my headache away. "I can already feel things for you. It scares me how easily you could crush my heart if I let you have it. I can't give it away that easy, but I don't want to lose you. And I love... being with you."

"So, we're supposed to do the friends with benefits thing, huh?" He looked over to me, not showing any signs of being fond of the idea. "I don't do that, Adeline. We can still be friends, but I wont wait around for you to give me your heart when you're ready to. I will date other people."

My eyes teared up. No, I didn't like the idea of Eli being with someone else, seeing him with someone else, but I was no where near ready to give my heart away and be vulnerable. "I just don't know what I would do if my heart was broken again. I'm not stable now and I'm not ready for a relationship. If I was going to be with you I'd have to know you and truly believe that you wouldn't leave me." I sighed. "But I definitely don't want to lose you. Not even as a friend."

"Then it's settled, I guess. But I better go home, parents are probably wondering." He set aside the notebook and pen and got up, walking around the bed and pulling me into a hug. He smelled faintly like vanilla and ocean surf deodorant. And it was one wonderful scent. "Sorry... I got mad. We were drunk, right? There's nothing we can do about it now."

"Yeah. I'm sorry, too, Eli. Should I come over later? We still have a poem to write and I still haven't seen what your household is like." I looked up at him for a brief moment. His eyes were closed like he was relishing in the hug... like he didn't want to let go. And I didn't want him to either.

"Yeah, I'll text you when you can come over." He finally opened his eyes and released me from his perfect embrace. Grr. "Talk to you later, Addie."

And with that he left. I let my eyes drift over to the notebook, pulling it into my lap where there was a small poem scribbled onto it.

And I don't care if you're sick,

I don't care if you're contagious.

I would kiss you even if you were dead.

'Cause I'd do anything to hold your hand.

I traced my fingers across the ink, silently wishing he would walk back through that door and say, "I won't ever hurt you, Adeline. Take a chance with me, trust me... fall in love with me. Because if you give me your heart, I'll give you mine."

But that wasn't going to happen. They'd known each other for how long? Three days? Not even. It was silly. But the poem meant that Eli was feeling the same things as I was. I would just have to keep being friends and eventually, maybe I could trust him. Maybe.

There was a knock on my door and a couple seconds later Damien walked in with a big bright smile.

"HELLO GORGE... zombie lady. Nice smeared up make-up. Shouldn't you know better than to leave it on before you go to sleep?" He jumped onto the bed next to me and his eyes glinted over to the notebook. "Did you write that poem?"

"Er... no. Eli was writing it when I woke up this morning." I bit my lip and let out an audible sigh.

"He is quite the catch. Speaking of catches! Marco and I are going to go out again tonight. God! He is gorgeous. He's picking me up this time so you'll have to meet him. He went to Degrassi school for a while once too! And was a student teacher!" Damien grinned and I smiled in response. At least someone was having better luck than I am with relationships.

"Damien..." I looked over at him, feeling a bit distraught. "Why aren't you afraid to fall in love? Or get hurt?"

His face fell and he looked at me sadly, sitting up and putting his arm around me. "Because if you don't take the risk of getting hurt, then you might miss out and keep wondering 'what if?'. Even if you get hurt you have to pick yourself back up and think, 'If we weren't meant to be, we just weren't meant to be, and my perfect someone is out there somewhere!'. Positive thoughts, Addie." He squeezed my shoulder and I smiled.

"Thank you. I'll keep that in mind." My eyes wandered back to the notebook and I felt my heart flutter.

"Good. Because I think that Eli guy is a pretty good guy. He likes you and I think he deserves a chance." Damien smiled. "Now! I am going to go brew up a wonderful breakfast for us and you should get that crap off your face and wash it, you dirty girl. I bet you forgot to brush your teeth too."

I stuck my tongue out at him as he left and giggled. Then I grabbed my laptop off my bedside and signed into MSN. Surprisingly, Eli was online. Just the person I needed to talk to.