HI GUYS! You missed me right? Wait, wait why are you looking at me like that? W- ARE THOSE PITCHFORKS? *cowers* *reviewers look angrily at her* *whimpers* please don't kill me.
tichtich2: mwahaha.... 1 month and 12 days with NO UPDATES? Of course we won't kill you.. we'll just slowly torture you until you BEG to die. *takes out picture of Hoggle and Jareth making out*
glamgirl255: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *slumps to the ground and twitches, then lays still*
reviewers: MWAAAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WE'VE DONE IT! SHE'S DEEEAD! *do a happy dance*

Of course this won't hapen right? You wouldn't do this to me would you? *laughs nervously* I'm really sorry guys I am but 1) I had writers block and 2) I had final exams.... for like 2 weeks straight... and I'm really sorry... please review still because I swear I have a new chapter coming for you like REEEALLY REEEALY soon (and I mean it this time!). Sarah goes on a bussiness trip and.... the goblins come to visit. Mayhem ensues! So... I hope you guys enjoy... and I hope this chapter is funny enough.... please let it be? P.S. tichtich2 I hope you didn't mind I used you in my little intro thing. I know you're not this evil RIGHT? haha, I adore you and I want to thank all of you including tichtich2 for reviewing (some of my constant reviewrs include her, MellowMihael, Maevainwen Adaniel, and MyraValhallah)! You've really helped me continue with this story! Kissessss and cookies to ALLL! So, without further ado... to the story-

The apartment was silent. Utterly and completely silent. No sound. Zero. Zilch. Zip. Nada.

She was suspicious. There had to be something wrong here. No matter what happened in the house while Sarah was gone, there was always noise. Sarah's mind started jumping to conclusions as she kept hearing absolutely nothing. What if they had been assaulted? What if they had been kidnapped? What if the police had come back because they didn't believe that Jareth was her stripper?

Oh how I wish he would be. Liz sighed.

Shut up Liz. Sarah thought, absentmindedly swatting the air in front of her.

Sarah's brain raced around in a panic. She couldn't deal with Toby being gone! She couldn't deal with that. And Jareth-

Sarah blinked. Did she just get upset because Jareth might be gone? Why? Could it be- Could it be that she had begun to care for him? She asked herself. Her mind spiraled back to a few days back.

The door clicked as Sarah walked in and placed her bag on the table. Silence greeted her.

"Toby?" she asked, looking around and seeing nothing out of it's place. She frowned. She usually seemed to find Jareth and Toby arguing about something that made her both angry and wanting to laugh at once.

"Jareth?" she asked a bit louder, walking forward and peeking into the kitchen. No one.

She walked forward to the living room. Nothing.

I swear, if they're not in the bedroom I'm calling the cops. She thought, slightly worried at where Toby might have gone. She walked into the bedroom...

and smiled.

There, on the bed was Toby, asleep in Jareth's arms, a faint angelic smile on his face. Jareth's arms were wrapped protectively around him and, even in sleep, were not slack. Sarah looked up at Jareth and gasped.

The wild arrogance was gone replaced by an aura of vulnerability. The Goblin King's hair was strewn all over the pillow, strands of gold upon a cream landscape.

His face, so often consumed by a look of pride and occasionally petulance, was scrapped clean now. On his face too, was a small smile.

Sarah sighed. That had been such a different side of Jareth, Sarah thought. She was so used to the whiny, dominating Jareth that seeing him like that had been like a breath of fresh air. It took her back to her current predicament. Maybe, they were just sleeping. Yeah, that must be it. She'd go and look in all the bedrooms and she was sure to find them there. She took a step forward and...

SQUILCH.

Sarah looked down curiously at the noise. There, with a rotting anchovie impaled on it's heel, was Sarah's best pair of EXPENSIVE high heels. She gasped.

" JARETH!"

Toby's leg itched. Very much. Maybe it was because he was currently hiding in the closet with Jareth, his leg bent into a very uncomfortable position.

"Jareth." He whispered, trying to keep as quiet as possible. He didn't want Sarah to find them as much as Jareth didn't.

"Shh." Jareth hissed , annoyed by Toby's whining. If Sarah found them both he and Toby would get in trouble.

He cocked his ear, responding to a distant sound, and then sighed in relief. Just his imagination. She wasn't home yet.

He looked over at Toby, whose face was contorted in concentration (or constipation, it looked like) and his eyes were closed. He was silently mouthing two words, over and over. -Don't talk, Don't talk-.

Jareth tapped him on the shoulder. Toby's eyes flew opened and peered questioningly at him.

"Are you all right?" Jareth mouthed cautiously, hoping Toby could understand.

"My leg itches!" Toby responded, whispering rather loudly and pointing at his right leg to demonstrate.

"Scratch it!" Jareth said and gave him a nod to show it was OK. Toby smiled and stood up,

THUMP!

The leg that had been wedged in between Sarah's shoeboxes and a large amount of plastic containers that stored underwear flew out from underneath the small body and catapulted Toby through the air, screaming.

"AHHHH-oomph!" The bundle of flailing arms and legs landed clumsily in a giant blue mesh basket and Jareth warily stood up to look in.

"Toby?" he inquired, peering in to find the basket full of used clothes; underwear, shirts, pants. No Toby.

"Toby?" He called a bit louder this tie, sticking his head farther in and tentatively picking throughout the clothes. Still no Toby.

"TOBY!" This time he yelled, no longer pre-occupied about Sarah. Jareth had never seen one of these contraptions before. It was HUGE! What if Toby had landed in there and had been instantly suffocated by the mass of fabric surrounding him? Half of Jareth's body was now immersed in the basket and he reached in, parting the clothes when...

"HIIIIII!" Toby yelled, popping up and bonking Jareth on the nose with his underwear clad head.

"AGHHHHHH! DAMN IT!" Jareth staggered backwards, clutching at his nose. He felt something wet moisten his palm and he looked down, paling at what he saw.

Blood.

Jareth made a strangled growling sound at the back of his throat and touched his nose once more, attempting to stop the blood that was now gushing freely from his nostrils. He looked over at Toby who was currently staring at Jareth with eyes as wide as saucers.

Something inside of Jareth's finely honed, royal senses told him to duck but he ignored the feeling, focusing more on the terror on Toby's face.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!" Toby charged at him, the white underwear perched on his head waving wildly around like a surrendering flag.

Jareth's eyes widened as he felt the streak of white and blonde ambush him and send him toppling backwards right into a sea of colorful high heels, which had knocked upside down by Sarah's frantic search for her black heels this morning.

"OOOOOAAAGHH!" Jareth's lithe body spasmed back into the air as different spikes dug into his back and he spiraled back onto a cushion of purses.

"Stay right there!" Toby commanded and scrambled off of Jareth, running to another side of the closet.

"Ugh- I'm- not-sure-I-can-move." Jareth groaned, not being able to feel his back muscles anymore. Two weeks babysitting Toby should have taught him better, he scolded himself.

Toby flopped himself down next to Jareth, a box in his hands. Jareth looked curiously down at it.

Rows of white stick looking things danced on the blue background, weaving through the large yellow letters that screamed out to him.

TAMPEX

FOR MEDIUM TO HEAVY FLOW

Toby smiled.

"Sarah says she uses these to stop blood all the time. She told me that when I found them and asked what they were." He chatted happily and took out a pink wrapped package.

"Tobias, why did you knock me over?" He ground out as Toby ripped open the package.

Toby looked over, his upper lip quivering cutely. He knew Jareth was mad.

"Umm.. Well, my friend at school had one of those and Jake said we all needed to knock him down so the blood could go to the back of his nose! Jake's the popularest in our class!" Toby said brightly, and the frowned.

"But it didn't seem to work with you. So that's why I'm using extra stuff!"

Jareth opened his mouth to tell Toby that Jake wasn't really the smartest tool in the shed but the words never came. Instead,

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" He yelled loudly as Toby shoved the stick up his nose, a little white string dangling just outside of his nostril.

"TA-DA! Now, you won't bleed anymore!" Toby proudly stated, his hands on his hips. " See, I knew it would w-" But Toby's words sputtered out as he looked at the doors of the closet, scared.

There, in her business suit, a black patent pump with an anchovy on its heel, in one hand, stood Sarah.

"Uh oh."

Sarah opened her mouth to begin the rant she was so famour for but nothing came out. Her eyes had fallen upon the Goblin King, his limbs splayed over her purses, a tampon stuck jauntily up his bleeding nose. He was looking at her with a mixture of fear and warning.

I'm afraid of you but don't you DARE laugh at my ridiculous state. he challenged.

But it was way too much. Really. Even Liz was cackling in her head and the scene playing out before her was too much to bear. She couldn't help it.

She snorted. The snort morphed into a giggle and the giggle turned into a full blown laugh and before she knew it she was clutching her stomach, laughing hysterically, one finger pointing at Jareth who had now stood up, his hands on his hips.

"Stop laughing." He commanded, in his kingly way, looking regal except for the tampon shoved up his nose. Sarah stopped, looked up, and...

kept laughing.

"I-can't-take-you-seriously-like-th-aaat!"She wheezed out in between laughs. Jareth waited a bit and the laughter died down.

"Mmmm. All right, I think I'm fine now." She declared, a silly grin still plastered on her face. She kneeled down and saw Toby's expression.

Oh right. That was why she had come here. Not to see a tampon up Jareth's nose.

She straightened up and glared at Toby.

"Tobias." Toby flinched at the use of his full name.

"Would you care to tell me why there are 20 rotting anchovy pizzas in the living room?"

REVIEW PLEEEEASE! Just click that itty bitty button down there... come on it only takes 2 mins.! :P

Oh, and I forgot the disclaimer: Labyrinth and it's Jarethy goodness does not belong to me neither does TAMPEX. mwahaha