She wasn't used to this, not a single piece, not any of it.
She wasn't used to sleeping in a double bed, next to another in which someone was snoring.
She wasn't used to staring at the ceiling, wishing she had a box of Benedryl to force her to go to sleep.
She wasn't used to her mind playing games with her emotions, forcing her to silently cry herself to sleep.
But most important of all was the fact that Jessica McMahon wasn't used to feeling cold at night, lacking a strong pair of warm arms wrapped around her, arms which belonged to John Cena.
It had been an hour since he'd woken up and noticed the tear stains on her cheeks as she sat on the edge of her bed.
He didn't know what he could possibly say anymore. She was miserable and it was completely out of his hands.
Maybe he shouldn't have told her about him and Sam.
For years, Randy had tagged along with Jessica and John as a third wheel. And if someone were to have asked him whether he had envied John, he would have answered yes.
But it wasn't because he had Jessica, it was because he had found a soulmate.
And soulmates always ended up together… right?
"It's alright if you don't want to tell me about him, Jessica," the much taller man in front of her assured her, his gaze flickering to the floor and back to her eyes.
"No," Jessica pushed off of his kitchen counter forcefully in an assertion of her inner strength. "I need to get it off my chest. I need to tell someone. I thought that, with every year that passed, the pain would subside. But the hole in my chest…"
"Just gets bigger and bigger?" he offered, nodding in understanding.
The blonde chewed on her lower lip. "Yeah. It does. And the worst part is that I figured that I'd forget about him, Dwayne. But how do you forget about the person who perpetually carries a piece of your soul?"
The bronze-skinned man before her shook his head slowly. "You don't."
"You don't," she repeated aloud, biting on her lip to stop it from quivering.
All of a sudden, she felt a warm hand on her bare shoulder. "Are you alright?"
Randy.
"Better than I was last night," she replied half-heartedly. "Better, now that you're awake."
Randy was confused. "Why?"
"Those nine hours you were asleep made me feel more alone than I've ever felt in my entire life," she explained sadly, running a hand through her caramel locks. "You always told me that my mind was my most dangerous feature."
The green-eyed wrestler sat down beside her lightly. "Did you have a bad dream?"
"How can I have a bad dream in my sleep when my own life is a living nightmare?"
"Please don't say things like that," Randy replied sadly, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "I feel horrible when you say that."
Jessica sighed. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt Randy.
"I'm sorry… I won't talk about it anymore."
When the cell phone on the table vibrated, Jessica answered it, refusing to ignore it any longer.
There was nowhere to run anymore, nowhere to hide.
If she was going to straighten out her life, she couldn't wait around another day. She had to do it herself.
"I'm surprised you picked up," the deep voice on the other end replied nonchalantly.
"To be perfectly honest with you, so am I," the blonde responded wistfully, sinking down onto her bed. "I'm sure you have a lot to say, Dwayne. You might as well do it now."
But his reply caught her off guard. "It wasn't necessarily what I wanted to say. It's more like what I wanted to hear."
"If you're expecting an answer…"
"I'm not," he cut her off abruptly. "I just wanted to know if you're okay."
"That's a dumb question," she replied bluntly.
He let out a low chuckle. "Not necessarily, not if it's me who's asking. I don't get to see you backstage every day. I don't get to talk to you after a match. I don't get to see your eyes on television for more than a split second to study them, to see how you're feeling."
"Last time I checked, it was you who left the WWE for Hollywood."
"That still bothers you," Dwayne realized suddenly. "Doesn't it?"
"Of course," Jessica sighed. "You walked out on the business that was in your blood just so you could walk onto movie sets."
"Are you mad because I walked out on the company… or are you really mad because I walked out on you?"
"Both," she answered without hesitation.
There was an audible exhale on the other side of the line before he spoke again, "But more so the latter?"
The caramel blonde shifted uncomfortably on her bed. "Yes."
"But you had John…"
"Two years later," she interrupted him. "But that doesn't mean the hole in my heart got any smaller."
Walking into the arena sucked, even with Randy matching her pace beside her.
Every step she took elicited a different stare, every breath hurt a little bit more.
Just when she thought the backstage speculation about her and John's relationship had stopped after their engagement, it was starting all over again.
Perhaps they all knew something Jessica didn't.
And as Randy and Jessica rounded a corner, she stopped dead in her tracks, realizing they were right.
John Cena was standing thirty feet in front of her.
"Let's go the other way," Jessica muttered, beginning to backpedal away from Randy.
"No," the Missouri-native grumbled, his hand locking around her wrist as his emerald gaze set on the man before them, still oblivious to their presence. "We deal with this now."
"Randy, don't!" she whispered urgently.
But it was too late. Randy was already heading straight for John, pulling her along for the ride.
And when he released her, any Plan B she could have formed in her head froze in its place, along with her body.
"Oh, Cena…" he called to him melodiously.
John spun around with a smile, catching sight of Randy first.
It was only after Randy's fist connected with his jaw and knocked him to the floor that John was able to catch sight of the young woman frozen still, in the place where he had once stood.
"When I said if you 'love her, fight for her,' I did not mean that you should get into a brawl with one of your best friends, John!" Carol exclaimed into her end of the phone.
"He fucking hit me, Mom!" John bellowed into the phone, place an ice pack against his cheek, where a bruise was already forming. "What the hell was I supposed to do? Just sit there."
"Don't you use that language with me, young man. I am not one of your backstage buddies… I am your mother!" she growled at him in discontent.
"Sorry," he mumbled.
"What you should have done was tried to restrain him and not dislocated his shoulder, John," Carol scolded him. "Now that you've most likely taken both him and yourself out of action, what did you really accomplish besides making a complete and utter ass of yourself? Wait 'til your father hears about this…"
John sighed deeply. Twenty-nine years old and his mother still pulled the "father card."
People Exclusive: No more McCena?
Sources close to the couple report that an affair has lead to the wedding being called off. However, at this time, it is uncertain whom was unfaithful in the relationship.
This story is currently under investigation. Please check back for updates.
It's Over?!?!
Perezzers has learned from a member of the WWE, who has chosen to remain silent, that there was a blowout at the Tampa home of WWE Superstar John Cena and his fiancée, WWE Diva and Executive Vice President Jessica McMahon.
The fight, which occurred around ten pm Monday night, resulted in a steaming Cena speeding off into the night, followed by Jessica's exit about an hour later. Residents in nearby houses reported that only John's vehicle returned at around four am Tuesday morning.
Oh my God?!?! Does that mean McCena is over? Say it ain't so!
Star Exclusive: We know who cheated!
While studies have found that men cheat far more often than women…
Jessica McMahon turned out to be the culprit in her relationship.
Reps for both Jessica and John could not be reached.
It's Over?!?!? *Updated*
Jessica cheated! Well, allegedly cheated. There are a lot of mixed reports going around backstage at the moment, but that seems to be the overwhelming sentiment.
She doesn't seem like the cheating type to us!
We wonder who it was with?!?
The Mystery Continues…
As of yet, no one has been able to determine whom Jessica McMahon allegedly cheat on John Cena with.
Star Magazine has learned that it was definitely Jessica, but rumors are floating around as to whom her affair was with.
US WEEKLY Exclusive: Jessica McMahon's love is in the WWE!
According to a mole backstage, the man whom Jessica cheated on her fiancé with works in World Wrestling Entertainment. However, it is not clear at the moment exactly who that man is.
Could it be?
One of our friends behind the scenes of the WWE told yours truly that while the mystery man Jessica McMahon had an affair with is still a mystery, estranged fiancé, John Cena, and fellow wrestler/uber-hottie Randy Orton, had to be separated as a result of a backstage brawl just over an hour ago.
Maybe the mystery is solved.
Although, Perezettes, while we think Orton's bad-boy image is equally as appealing to us, McOrton doesn't really have the same ring to it as McCena.
"An hour, Jessica!" the man before her boomed in frustration. "All it took was a fucking hour. This shit is everywhere!"
"It's not my fault!" she seethed back, rising from her chair. "I wanted to turn around and walk away… but you know how stubborn Randy is, Dad! You know that once he's made up his mind, there's no stopping him. I can't even do that and I've known him for years!"
"You're lucky that this will probably generate enough publicity that ratings will spike or I'd be furious with you right now for your lack of decorum," Vince shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest.
"My lack of decorum?" her voice hit an almost-shrill tone as her eyes widened incredulously. "Are you kidding me? You're the man who wanted to turn Stephanie's pregnancy into a storyline that concluded with Shane being revealed as the father! Oh, and you know, there's that little issue of someone backstage who is reporting to People, Us Weekly, and Perez Hilton! But yeah, you're right. My lack of decorum is such a problem…"
Vince ground his teeth together. "When I made you an Executive Vice President within this company you were the one child of mine I thought was the most professional and could handle it the best… and even after having surgery, your dedication to your work was unparalleled, Jessica.
"And then you got engaged to Cena and I couldn't help but believe that you were going to be the one who got to live the fairy tale life. What happened, Jess?"
Jessica's hazel eyes bore into her father's intently as she searched for some sort of meaning. "Are you asking me where it went wrong or why I did it?"
He shrugged silently. "I'm just asking what happened that caused Randy to attack your fiancé and spurn all of these tabloids?"
"I have to get ready for my match," his blonde daughter sighed and then retreated away from his desk, heading for the door.
"It's true, you know," she added, turning around to look at him again. "About the blowout that John and I had in Tampa. We did have a huge fight and I left, stayed with Dave for a few days, then with Randy while Dave was traveling with Smackdown. And there is a very good reason we're not speaking to each other.
"But I need you to know that while I don't want to discuss it at length right now, I never cheated on John. However, there is someone out there who wants to break us up because he wants me for himself. It was only today that I came to realize it wasn't meant to be malicious; you can't help who you fall in love with.
"Right now, they're all wrong… the tabloids, the moles. Everyone. But sooner or later, someone's going to figure it out. And when they finally write about the correct person, Dad, you'll know it's the truth. You just have to trust me that in the end, I'll make a decision. And it'll be the right one. You know me too well not to believe that."
"This next match is a beat the clock match," Lillian Garcia announced into her microphone. "And it is to determine the number one contender to the Women's Championship. Making her way to the ring, from San Bernadino, California… Victoria!"
The raven-haired Diva strode down to the squared circle, greeted by a chorus of boos as she ducked through the ropes.
Quickly, though, her once-black and red hair turned green from the lights swirling around her.
She's a Rebel. She's a saint. She's the salt of the earth… and she's dangerous.
At the top of the ramp, illuminated in purple and green lighting, stood Jessica McMahon, a woman with more pent up aggression than anyone else in the WWE tonight.
While in the past few weeks, she hadn't partaken in a match… tonight, she needed it.
"And making her way to the ring, hailing from West Newbury, Massachusetts, Jessica McMahon!"
Previously, Melina had defeated Maria in five minutes, putting her ahead of the other Divas, so as she made her way to the ring, her strategizing blocked out all the noise around her.
And it wasn't until the bell had rung that she wondered if the crowd had booed or cheered her as she had entered.
Under five, Jessica. Under five.
She studied Lisa as they waited to lock up. She knew this had to be done in under five and her opponent was a lot more skilled than Maria was.
This had to be legitimate.
And then it dawned on her.
"I don't know how she's going to do this, King," JR wondered aloud into his headset. "Maria isn't nearly as skilled as Victoria is… and that could cost Jessica."
"The same goes for Victoria, JR," Jerry Lawler reminded his broadcasting partner. "Jessica is a much fiercer competitor than Maria. It's going to take a lot for either woman to defeat the other."
"You've got that right."
As Victoria took a lunge to lock up like she usually did, Jessica ducked under her arms, locked them around her waist from behind, and suplexed her backwards.
The blonde dragged the psychotic Diva, who was consumed with pain from the powerful fall, into the center of the ring and smirked.
Inflicting pain upon another, even if it was just in character, was more fulfilling than anything else she could have done that night.
After folding her legs back into a triangle, Jessica arched over, her black PVC tank rising up to expose her midriff above her matching pants that bore her initials in sparkly pink calligraphy.
Blackout time.
"I don't know what has come over Jessica McMahon, King, but there is a fire in her eyes that I have never seen out of her before!"
"It's borderline sinister, JR," Lawler agreed, marveling at the quick match.
"So there you have it, folks… Jessica McMahon has beat the clock at forty-five seconds and will face Mickie James at New Year's Resolution."
"I would NOT want to be in Mickie's position come January first, JR," the former wrestler assured his partner. "And that's really saying something."
"Jess!" a feminine voice called out to her as she pushed through the door into the Diva's locker room. "Where are you going?"
"In here," she shrugged, removing her change of clothes from her black duffel bag. "Why?"
"I just thought…" the woman trailed off and then avoided her friend's gaze.
Jessica tried to smile reassuringly. "Lisa, it's okay. I know you didn't mean anything by it."
Lisa Varon nodded and sat down on the bench next to Jessica's bag. "For what it's worth, I know you… and I know you wouldn't do what they say you've done. I know there's more to the story than that."
"I appreciate that, Lisa. You're one of few people I know here that hasn't jumped to any conclusions. I don't know why you haven't, but nonetheless, I am still grateful."
"Come on, Jess…" she laughed, catching the other girl off guard. "You know that I'm a corporate slave that only thinks what my bosses tell me to believe."
"You're so lucky that Jessica got me off of you and I didn't fucking kill you," Randy seethed. "So fucking lucky."
"Oh, yeah… cause she would do that," John spat back at him as they sat in separate chairs in Vince's office, waiting for him to return with a decision as to what to do with them after having chewed both men out a few minutes ago.
Randy's breathing became staggered. "You son of a bitch. You don't even KNOW what you're doing to her."
"What I'm doing?!? She kissed another man! Who wasn't me!"
"Hey, genius… did you ever stop to listen to what she had to say? Did you ever look at her?"
John's eyes grew cloudy. "I can't look at her."
"You can't or you won't?" he challenged him with a deadly glare.
"I can't look at her, Randy," John repeated himself.
"Why the hell not?" Randy demanded to know. "Why can't you look at Jessica?"
"Because every time I look at her all I can see is an image of her marrying Dwayne and not me!" he blurted out at once and then turned quiet, staring out into space.
Randy sighed heavily, staring at the bluish bruise on his forearm. "I'm sorry… not for this conversation, but for hitting you."
"Yeah, me too. Truth be told, I'm sorry for a lot of things," John lamented honestly, staring at the video feed in Vince's office of Jessica's match. "Especially turning her into that."
"I've never seen her so furious in the ring… she's overshadowing Lisa," Randy marveled. "She's so…"
"Aggressive?" John offered, his gaze finding Randy's before returning to the screen.
"Yeah."
The Massachusetts native shook his head in shame. "What have I done to her?"
His friend sighed, "More than what you see on that screen. You'd have to really look at her to see it, John."
"I-I can't," he rubbed a strong hand over his face. "I don't want to know."
"Yes, you do," the emerald-eyed wrestler countered confidently. "You do because you love her. And you know, if you did… you'd see that she's still wearing your ring."
John's head shot up with the first hint of a smile Randy had seen since punching him. "She is?"
"She is," Randy answered returning the smile. "It's on her right hand though, not her left."
John nodded in understanding. "It's still a start."
The talking outside the door was getting louder, signaling that Vince was on his way.
"Listen, John… no matter what Vince does to us now, you need to know something. You need to know that right now, Jessica is hurting, a lot. But she still loves you, equally as much as she is hurting," he explained slowly, words now audible outside the door. "It's going to take a lot to win her back and it's not going to be easy, but it's worth it. It's worth spending your entire life with someone you love."
"Thanks, Randy."
As the hand on the door behind them reached for the knob, Randy turned to John one last time.
"You let your soulmate go once before, John. Don't do it again… because this time, she won't come back."
And as Vince McMahon strutted into the room, pure anger evident on his worn face, John was unsure as to what was going to happen next.
But there was one thing he did know: Randy Orton was right.
A/N: I promised a double update and here it is! She's a Rebel III!
I had the tabloids part of this chapter, as well as a few key quotes, previously written, but tonight, for some reason, I was inspired. I think it was John's return last week… although I didn't get to watch RAW tonight because I passed out at 7:30.
Also, a new song off of Britney Spears's album, Circus, called Out From Under, was an INCREDIBLE help to me. She deserves a plug for pulling me out of my writer's block and helping me out with coming up with more ideas for chapters.
That being said, I'm glad we're coming back. And we're just about halfway through right now.
As you can see, Jessica is softening up to the idea of Dwayne and John's going to have competition for her heart. In the beginning, there was no competition whatsoever, but in not trusting his fiancée, he created one. Frustrating, no? He thinks so.
There will be a really cute moment between John and Jess coming up in the next few chapters.
One of which involves a certain puppy that Jessica never picked up. No, I didn't forget about the puppy… it was intentionally pushed back until this story. It'll be explained shortly.
But, for certain, you're going to see a lot about the decision that you know Jessica has to make down the road in the rest of the story. That means a lot of commentary, which I left out of this one because I thought it wouldn't lend anything to this chapter whatsoever.
The poll stands as this:
John Cena – 75 percent
The Rock – 25 percent
I'm interested to see if this changes after this chapter.
By the way, be sure to check out both Jessica's blog on my profile, as well as the THREE NEW BANNERS posted for Cupid's Chokehold! Yay!
Anyhoo… I hope that you enjoyed this chapter.
Shout-outs:
CanadianBrunete619 – Oh my God, I did not know about that story. I have to go and read it! YAY! And just write them down because nothing sucks worse than having awesome ideas and forgetting them!
Aaron W – Don't write anyone off just yet… that scene happens to be very important later on.
CamieAnn – Thank you! I won't EVER abandon this story. Sometimes, Rutgers University just owns my life. But it can never take my soul!
Sambolina – Haha. I think this one might have made you freak out more.
Da-Real-Mrz-Cena102100 – Your wish is clearly my command. He's not going to let her go without a fight. And he's baaaaaaack.
Nic-002001 – Haha. Guess what? I updated again! I think you're right, John does have issues with leaving when things get really really hard. But I think that losing Jessica is making him confront that now. And her way of deal at the moment, is being a very, VERY aggressive competitor.
Dj-ssdd – It IS an insane amount of money. And yep, I concur with the whole John needing to get his head out of his ass thing. I think Randy might have gotten it loose in this chapter though. Hehe.
StarSixtyNine – This time I updated while you're in town, so now you can't complain! And yeah, there would go the story. Good thing my age and legality overrule you. Hehe. I think that Randy and Jess need each other more than either would like to admit. While Jessica and John have a strong bond, Randy is more inclined to stick around when things get bad. It would be interesting to have seen what might have been between the two of them if John was never in her life. But, of course, it's either Dwayne or John… with Randy, forever, as the best friend. And I'm alright with that.
Westfan – I know you love Randy… I'm totally playing to everyone's current spike in Randy love, as of late. I know there was no Dave in this chapter, but there was Randy. And you're going to love the punishment that Vince gives John. It actually will explain A LOT from last year. Quite funny. I love how I'm almost EXACTLY two years behind reality. But that's alright… because once I finish this story, I'll jump to just under a year behind. I can't sit around and wait for the WWE, right?
Mrs Bass-Malfoy – I don't mind McCayne. I think that's actually not a bad one at all. Hmmm….
Enigmatic Lotus Leaf – I saw! Holy jeez, what made him do that! And like I said to a few people, I think Randy has kind of knocked John's head loose now.
ThatGirl54 – I think that John's return… without his Super Cena gimmick… has been fantastic and a breath of fresh air on Raw.
Cena-holic8 – Thank you! I'm really trying to keep myself up to date on… well, updates. BUT, with winter intersession coming up, which means a month off for me, I should be slaving over my laptop soon enough.
Indy Milk – Sometimes, pregnancy storylines get so predictable that I want to shoot myself. BUT, they can, and have, been done very well. Good luck with the story. What's it about?
Purplefeather21 – Yeah, poor Jess indeed. And don't think that Paul is out of the woods just yet. Someone VERY scary, scarier than Dave, is going to get a hold of him and straighten his ass out. And no, it's not John. Many people would have thought Randy would have been on John's side, including Jess, but in life, you sometimes get pleasant surprises. As for Heroes, my messed up sleeping habits prevented me from watching tonight, but I LOVE Zachary Quinto right now. Sylar is drifting between having a conscious and surpressing it, so I'm definitely addicted to him right now!
Dreamin'BIG – Haha. Frakin'. Sorry, Scrubs moment. Haha, don't be hatin' on the Rock, lol.
RKO-kid 099 – Thank you so much for your kind words! I know that people don't WANT Jess to wind up with Dwayne, but they're kind of getting to know how he feels about her. So, I don't think they'd feel as though he'd treat Jess badly… they just would be happier if she would up with Cena.
Chain Gang Princess – It's alright… you know I understand commitments! Damn, college! I must admit though, looking back on all of my comedic lines, nothing will ever top Stephanie's toast at Jessica's 28th birthday dinner in SAR II: "What do you say about the sister who once punched you in the face and made you bleed on Thanksgiving?" Sometimes, she's such a scenestealer. And yeah, ZQ is love!
OneAndOnlyHardyGirl – I'm so happy that John is back. But what happened to number one, haha? As I post more and more chapters, I am exponentially impressed with readers like you who read the whole series in two days. Although, I DID read the four novels of the Twilight series in four days. So much for school…
AlexiaCalaway – Haha. Those are two excellent words. As for "Goddess," you'll probably have to wait until April for me to finish up entirely, but I'm going to try and knock out as many chapters as I can over intersession. I promise, though, you'll know, most likely, in the second to last chapter of the story what her last name turns out to be. But it will either be Johnson or Cena. Clearly.
RatedRCouture – Carol makes me laugh. I can just picture her kicking those five boys' butts, even now. Like I said before, in not trusting his own fiancée, he made it into a competition.
Well, that's all for now, but I hope to have one more chapter posted before finals. Just don't tell my mom!
Let me know what you think of Chapter 11 (no, not the type of bankruptcy), Jess's blog, and the SAR III banners!
Rock on!
Danielle