Kaoru was dead silent, her stomach twisting sickly. She remembered what he'd said that night on the couch, before any of this had happened.
"If Battosai fights Shishio then, this one will be lost."
She bit her lip, fighting back tears that stung her eyes. She had to be strong right now, she told herself. Kenshin needed her help, he was lost after everything that had happened.
She could see in his eyes below the anger that he lashed out with was fear, fear of himself. He was struggling, trying to find the answer on his own, never once thinking about the people around him that could help.
"Do you really believe that?" she asked quietly. "That you're not the same person anymore? Kenshin, you're such an idiot sometimes." Her words took him off guard. "You never ask for help, even when you need it. You're so stubborn, thinking you can deal with everything yourself, without involving anyone. You think that the weight of the world is pressed against your shoulders, it isn't Kenshin. Why do you always have to think of others before everything else, never sparing a thought to your own wellbeing or even the people who care about you!"
He turned away then, marching away without a word. Her breath caught for a second, her heart pounding. He was walking away, walking away from her.
Anger flashed in her eyes as she raced forwards, grabbing hold of him. She forced him around, causing him to stumble.
"Don't you dare turn your back on me!" Her eyes were blazing, unnoticed tears starting to roll down her cheeks. "Don't you dare walk away from me. You're selfish. You're so selfish! Going after Shishio by yourself, without telling anyone, even me! Y-you nearly died! Did you ever think for a moment about how I would feel?" She stopped suddenly, realizing what she'd said. Her cheeks had turned bright red while tears ran freely down her face. Kenshin looked away, but not before she saw the pain in his eyes. Neither spoke.
Kenshin tried to pull his arm from her grasp, but her grip tightened. She refused to let him leave.
"Let go!" he shouted at her.
"No!" she yelledback, not flinching under his gaze. "I won't, you hear me? I won't!" She cared about him too much to do that.
His breath caught suddenly and a small cry escaped his lips. His legs gave out, taking Kaoru by surprise. She shifted her grip quickly and slowly lowered him to the ground. He was trembling in her grasp, tears springing into his eyes.
"This one can't keep a promise. I can't, I can't."
"Take it easy Kenshin," she whispered gently, sitting on the tiled ground beside him.
His crimson bangs had fallen into his face, obscuring his eyes. She pushed the strands of hair away, refusing to let him hide behind them. She let him rest against her, waiting quietly for him to calm down. She wasn't sure how long they stayed like that on the cool ground, with Kenshin resting gently against her.
"I… this one thought Shishio had killed you," it startled her when Kenshin suddenly spoke. His voice was low, still shaky with emotion. "This one was so… scared that I-" a small sob broke into his voice, silencing him.
She gently reached out, taking his hand in her own. "I was scared to," she admitted. "When I woke up here, not knowing what had happened… to you. I was only told that you were in a coma." She gave his hand a gentle squeeze, trying to reassure him. "I'm so glad you're alright." He didn't say anything to that. She glanced at him, a sad look on her face. "I want to help you." She took a deep breath. "Kenshin," her hand tightened slightly on his. She looked him straight in the eyes. "I'm here for you." Her voice didn't quiver or shake as she said that. She meant it; she wanted to be with him no matter what.
He looked at her, not quite meeting her gaze. She couldn't call the look on his face a smile, but it was softer, a silent thanks of gratitude visible in his eyes.
"What are you looking at?" she asked curiously. They were sitting silently, just enjoying each other's company. He looked at her, turning away from the sky, daring to meet her eyes for a brief moment.
"Clouds," he answered quietly.
She tilted her head back, watching the heavens. Her raven hair hung loose about her and a light caught in her sapphire eyes. She looked so beautiful- Kenshin shook his head, quickly shoving the thought out of his mind.
"Has anyone come to visit you?"
"This one has only been awake since this morning, that I have. Besides… Megumi and Sano are probably more concerned about you. They're… scared of me as well."
"What do you mean as well?"
"You're scared of me still," he replied. His voice was calm, bangs hiding his face completely. He wouldn't let her see how much that hurt him.
"Of all the- I am not!" she retorted indignantly. "Maybe at first but definitely not-"
"You still are," he interrupted, pushing his crimson hair from his face. He met her gaze, looking right into her eyes. She glanced away after a moment. He let his fire-red bangs fall, the only shield left between the world and his emotions. "I can see it in your eyes, just like everyone else. You can't hide it from this one."
"Kenshin…"
"It is this one, not just my past, don't say that it isn't. I use to think this one had changed so much… that I did. But I haven't, it took such little effort." He fell silent there.
"What?" asked Kaoru softly, when he didn't continue.
"To pull all of who this one was… who I am back. I would have killed Shishio, I had a blade against his heart. I… could still do it, this one almost did it then, with Sano and Megumi watching the whole thing. I know how Shishio's mind works because I use to be just like him. This one is no better than him."
Kaoru was silent as she slowly rose to her feet, leaving Kenshin's side. He didn't move, he wanted her to leave. He didn't deserve anything from her. A small part of him cried out, just like the night he left her, the feeling pulling at his heart begging him to stop her.
But he didn't move.
This was his mess, he would deal with it alone. He didn't need her help. It was better for everyone if she just left. She didn't need the company of a demon.
"Kenshin, come here," she asked kindly.
He looked up at her with surprise. She stood a few steps away, a large smile on her face. Her hand was raised towards him, offering him to take it. He bowed his head, staring at the ground before him. He had to solve this on his own, he couldn't ask for her help.
Suddenly she was right before him, pulling him to his feet before he could protest. She led him back to the edge of the pond, pointing out into the reflecting glass.
"Look, I don't see anything different." He stared at his reflection, his face just visible in the cool waters, staring back at him. His lavender eyes were filled with so much emotion, more then he'd ever seen. "You keep trying to push me away. I won't go Kenshin. You're trying so hard to stay detached. Can't you let me in? You told me the truth and I never gave you an answer." He looked at her, she took a deep breath. "I except you, just the way you are, and I'm so glad that you opened up to me. So, thank you Kenshin."
She meant it, she looked at him with complete confidence. He could still see the tiniest bit of fear in her eyes, it didn't make any sense. He was Battosai, the demon that everyone feared and hated. He couldn't escape what he'd done. How could she believe in him?
His mouth opened as he struggled to speak. He found it so hard to say anything. "I… this one…" He looked down at the water. "I lost someone… very close to me, that this one did." He bit his lip, why did he say that?
He was tired of everything. He'd kept so many secrets in his life. Kept so many things bottled up, that only he knew. She put her faith in him so maybe, just maybe, he could do the same. He wanted to trust her.
The word came at him like a blow. He tensed, fear tearing through him. Why did he tell her that? His heart was pounding, he took a step back.
He couldn't trust anyone. He'd learned that the hard way. Trust was not something you gave others. He'd nearly gotten her killed. She was scared of him.
No matter what front she put on, he could see it. He was Battosai the demon of the Juppongatanna. That fact could never be changed. She didn't trust him, she couldn't. She was right to be afraid, of who he was, what he could do, what he was capable of.
He had to get away. His eyes locked on the path leading out of the trees, making a dive for it.
Suddenly her arms were wrapped around him, pulling him close. He could feel her head pressed against his back and with that contact a single thought slipped into his mind.
Despite everything that had happened, she was still there, right at his side. She was still right here with him.
He was shaking again, drawing deep, shuddering breaths. His eyes were filled with an untamed fear.
"Please don't go, it's alright," she tried to sooth him.
Tears rolled down his cheeks as he shook his head wildly. "No, no, no promises, no pleading." He wasn't trying to escape but he was stiff under her touch. "Not again, I-" His voiced failed, he just stood there, letting the tears fall from his eyes.
Kaoru was silent, letting her presence comfort him. It hurt her inside to see him like this, she wanted to help him anyway she could.
"T-Tomoe… said the exact same thing… before…" He didn't know why he was speaking. He didn't believe in trust, it only led to getting hurt.
But here he was, sitting on the cool mossy stones, leaning against Kaoru, who had her arm around him. He closed his eyes, banishing the tears. He let his muscles relax slightly. She'd done so much for him. So maybe… he would try.
It was going to be one time, just this once he was going to, without any hidden motives. Just this once he was going to let her in.
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Hello my adoring fans once again! This wonderful chapter was suppose to be posted earlier but I was whisked away on a nice holiday away from my wonderful computer. (Cries. Hugs computer) I'll never leave again!
(Everyone stares at Alatus) Whaaat? I like my computer! I haven't seen it in over a week.
So far three people have said they're interested in me writing a sequel, if there're anymore people out there who want a sequel just drop me a line!
Big thanks to all my wondrous reviews! Yaaaay!
MikaylaMae: I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter, hope you liked this one as well. I was having trouble with that part a bit, where Kenshin wakes up alone, since I wanted to point it out to the readers but the way I have Kenshin character he wasn't making a big deal of it. Well looks like I got it across for the most part.
Shauntell: Well here's another short chapter… heh… well I'm probably going to do long chapter soon, promise. I'm just being lazy at the moment. Poor Kenshin, I am being rough on him, aren't I. Comes with being author, I think, end up loving a character to death, lol. Well I've some ideas for a sequel, not exactly sure what I'm going to do yet. I don't know much about Kenji and well I haven't seen the OVA so very hard for me to mimic it. Anyway, thanks very much for the review!
Anonymous but very interested: Not sure if that's what you were expecting as Kaoru's reply. Big thanks for the birthday wish. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
Summer Star: I put a lot of work into character emotions, usually end up feeling the same thing the charters are. I have to say writing dialog between characters is one of my favorite things to do in a story, especially if they're arguing. Sequel request has been dually noted!
Reignashii: Thank you for the birthday wish! (Crushes Battosai and Kenshin pushies, in what she calls a hug, till their eyes bulged and squeaking oro!) Your request for a sequel has been noted. As for your questions… (whispers innocently, tries to act mysterious.) Not telling! ;P Well no real cliffhanger this time, but don't you worry I'll make up for that next chapter. Mwahaaaaaaaa!
See you all next chapter! Till then!