Disclaimer: I don't own Shugo Chara or the songs I use.
Hearing the franticness in Rikka's voice jolted me to reality.
Something about this made me angry. I know its wrong, but why do I have to deal with it? I started voicing my thoughts without realizing it. "Well, what am I supposed to do? It's not like I can just say 'Hey Hikaru what you're doing is wrong. I'm not gonna sing the concert tomorrow. Okay! Have a great life!' I mean, this is Easter we're talking about. The largest company in the world. If I even tried something like that, my life would turn into hell. If you care about these kids so much, do something yourself!"
Hearing the anger in my own voice made me wince. I shouldn't be yelling at her. She's not a bad person. In fact, she's pretty much my only friend. I began to speak again in a much softer voice. "Rikka, I'm really sorry. I would help them if I could. But you know-"
"You don't even care! Don't give me that crap! Ami, I thought I could trust you! You're too scared to even try to help all the poor kids. What if your sister was going? What if it was your sister?" The mention of my sister almost made me scream. "And you don't even care. You're worse than I thought." She drew a shaky breath before saying in a low, hollow voice, "You're a murderer. Just like Hikaru." There was a beep and the line was dead. Just like that.
For a minute, I stayed frozen. Her words rang in my ears. You're a murderer. You're a murderer. You're a murderer. Then I let out a shriek and threw the phone across the room. It hit the wall and shattered into a million tiny pieces. But her words keep echoing in my head. You're a murderer. You're a murderer. "Shut up, shut up, shut up," I moan. "Leave me alone!" I covered my head with a fluffy white pillow, trying to protect myself from her words. But they were relentless and would not leave me alone. You're a murderer. You're a murderer. You're a murderer. Finally, I let my body slip into a dreamless sleep, the words still echoing in my head.
The next day…
I was sitting in front of my mirror in the changing room when somebody came into the room.
"Ami, is something wrong?"
I didn't need to turn around to know who was talking to me. I didn't want him to see my tears. "Yeah, I'm fine, Hoshina-san." Even to me, my voice sounded dead.
But he wasn't going to give up. "Is this about Hikaru's Undead Egg plan?" Damn. This guy knows me.
"How did you know?" I ask sarcastically. I was getting mad again for no reason.
He didn't seem to notice, though, and said gently, "I know you feel it's wrong. But there's really nothing any of us can do. I was talking to Rikka yesterday. She told me about your conversation." I turned to face him, and I could see him trying to hide the surprise on his face. I had tears running down my face and surely my eyes were puffy. I was wearing no makeup and my hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail. I hadn't even bothered straightening it. He had never seen me like this. Nobody had.
Nobody except my sister. Amu had always been there to comfort me in my worst moments.
Hoshina-san cleared his throat awkwardly. "Well, I guess I'll leave now so you can get ready for your concert." Translation: I've done enough damage and you need to recover before your concert.
Isn't life just great?
I turned back to the mirror, avoiding looking in it. Because I knew I'd only see a murderer.
Somehow, managed to prepare myself with no issues. Rikka had left my outfit- a strapless black dress that had a short yet full skirt and yellow belt that had the word danger printed on it in black, complete with yellow flats and bracelets- and I knew how she would want me to do my hair. My signature style was just straightening all my light brown curls and leaving it down.
Makeup was a different story, especially with my puffy eyes and tear-streaked face. I sighed as I cleaned it with a cool cloth. It was better than nothing. Then I just sat there for a while, staring at my feet. I always over-do my makeup and I don't want tot look like a clown. But I knew I had no other choice, and applied mascara, eyeliner, lipstick, and blush that Rikka had left for me. I forced myself to look in the mirror, and I actually didn't look that bad. I managed a weak smile, and that's when I noticed.
I look exactly like my sister.
My eyes widened and I spun away from the mirror. No. I can't get emotional right before a concert. I need to remember my purpose. The reason I sing. The reason I'm willing to murder children.
But is it really worth it? Is Amu worth causing others pain?
I didn't get a chance to think about it, because Hoshina-san was back, telling me I have five minutes until show time. "Do I look alright?" I ask nervously.
"You always look beautiful," he assures me. "Don't worry. They're going to love you."
We walk to the edge of the stage, and I'm grateful Rikka left flats instead of my usual heels. I don't even have to say anything and Dia performs the Chara Change. I'm grateful I don't, because I'm so nervous I'm actually shaking. I'm a murderer. I'm truly going to murder these children. Oh, Rikka, why didn't I listen to you and try to come up with a plan?"
Everything's a daze as I walk out on stage and give the crowd a weak smile. I stare out at the children I'm killing as I begin to sing.
You take it all away
But never give it back
And this is what you say
Their lives are yellow-black
And this is how they move
And this is how they sway
That danger is the truth
They die and come again
How fitting.
Obstacles and signs
Perilous and looming
Dangerous and moving
Dangerous and moving
Obstacles and signs
Perilous and looming
Dangerous and moving
Dangerous and moving
Why am I doing this? Why am I a murderer?
No mercy for the lost
No soothing for the sad
The line is never crossed
They are the living dead
And this is how they move
And this is how they sway
That danger is the truth
They die and live again
Obstacles and signs
Perilous and looming
Dangerous and moving
Dangerous and moving
Obstacles and signs
Perilous and looming
Dangerous and moving
Dangerous and moving
The crowd is silent as I finish the song. I notice the tears running down my face. I don't walk off the stage like usual. When I feel Dia undo the Chara Change, I collapse right in the middle of the stage. I don't even move when some of Easter's goons go out to collect the eggs and the bodies that are going to become corpses.
It's my fault.
I'm a murderer.
I hope this chapter made sense. I'm not the best author ever (it isn't that hard to notice) but I do appreciate reviews. I said I would wait for 2 or 3 reviews, but whatever. Thanks .Kiseki.4eva for your review! *hands bag of Shugo Chara character cookies* (I'm sorry if it messes up your name because on the preview it refuses to get it right)
Reviews make me happy!
Oh and I forgot to mention the songs I've used. The song in Chapter 1 in Gothic Lolita, which belongs to Emilie Autumn, and the song in this chapter is Dangerous and Moving, which belongs to t.A.T.u. If you have any songs you want Ami to sing, let me know!