Chapter 9

Callen was of the brick of a breakdown.

His day had started amazingly well, but it had gone downhill fast.

He had been woken up by two amazing hands making their way down his body. Kensi had teased him until he almost begged her to do something. But just when it was getting good, she gave him her best sweet smile and left to take a shower, leaving him with a very big problem to solve.

When he tried to get in the bathroom too, he noticed that she had locked the door to stop him from going in.

Ten minutes later, when she had finally finished her shower, she unlocked the door to let him in, noticing that his problem was still there. After a very cold shower, Callen had gone to his underwear drawer and noticed that his boxers were all gone.

He knew that this was her revenge because of the dress thing but she was going way too far with it. He hated going commando. Lucky for him, she had pitied him and had left a pair inside the fridge.

This woman was completely crazy.

He grabbed his car keys and went to pick up Sam. Kensi had left already.

After picking him up, both men went to work. Sam noticed that Callen wasn't in a very good mood but hadn't said anything about it.

When they entered the office, Callen immediately locked eyes with the woman that had been driving him crazy since the moment he had woken up that morning. She had a very big smile on her face and Callen gave her a look to let her know that she was in trouble.

Sam sat on his desk and Callen did the same. Nate made his way downstairs and grabbed Kensi's arm, to everyone's amazement, and took her to his office.

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Nate made Kensi sit down and stared at her for a couple of seconds before speaking.

"You have to tell Hetty!"

Kensi looked at him confused.

"What do I have to tell Hetty?"

"I've been thinking about this for a very long time and I think that it's the best thing to do. Hetty needs to know about this because it can be important in the future."

"Nate, you're rambling. What do I have to tell Hetty?"

"You have to tell her about you and Callen."

"Are you crazy? No one can know about that…I haven't even told Callen that you know about us. If we do tell Hetty she will split us all up. I've been working with this guys for years now and you want me to throw away all of that for something that I'm not even sure if it's going to work?"

"What do you mean by that? You don't know if this is going to work?"

"Of course I don't. In case you haven't noticed, I'm not the best person with relationships. In fact, we're not even in a relationship."

"You two aren't dating?"

"No. Not yet, anyway."

"Then what is this?"

"I don't know, Nate. We don't talk about that. We go out when we don't feel like being home, we have sex, we kiss, we stay in the same house but we're not dating!"

"You do realize that is the definition of dating, right?"

"No, it isn't. Dating is not just that."

Nate sat down in front of her, trying to understand what was going on inside her head.

"Then what is your definition of dating?"

"Dating is more intimate than this."

"More intimate than sex?"

"Dating is not just about sex. Dating has to do with sharing what we feel with not only each other but also with the ones around us. What we have is a complete secret."

"Why does it have to be a secret?"

"Because I can't let Hetty find out."

"Okay, and what's stopping you from telling Sam? You know that he would never tell Hetty, not even if he was tortured."

"I don't know. Like I said, we never talk about this."

"Don't you think that you should? I mean, Sam is your friend and one of Callen's best friends. Telling him would be a good idea. He will find out, sooner or later."

"I know that but what am I supposed to tell Callen?"

"Talk to him about these things."

"Callen is just like me; he's afraid of commitment because he suffered enough already. He can't open up to me because he's afraid that I'll hurt him too."

"What about you? Aren't you afraid that he'll hurt you too?"

"Of course I am but I also know that he would never do that to me, at least not on purpose."

"Kensi, those walls that you build around yourself to keep out all the pain are great but you have to remember that those walls can also keep out the happiness. You have to destroy those walls and let Callen see you. Maybe that's all he really needs"

"Callen knows me…he has seen the real me many times before."

"That's not true."

"Why do you say that? This talk makes no sense. I have work to do, you know."

Kensi was ready to leave when Nate's voice made her stop and turn around.

"Maybe you should let him see you around your loved ones. Why don't you take him to see your family with you this weekend?"

"So, basically, you think that I should take him with me to meet my family when not even Sam knows about this thing we have? That's insane. We're not even dating…how many times do I have to repeat that to you?"

"Many because every time you say that, you're not just trying to convince me of that fact, you're also trying to convince yourself. Talk to him, Kensi. Maybe he'll surprise you. You want him to let you in but first you have to let him in. Trust me on this and talk to Callen."

Kensi turned around and went to her desk, receiving weird looks from Sam and Callen.

Maybe Nate was right, but she was afraid that if she did asked him that, he would back off. She didn't want him to back off, not when she was falling this hard for him.

She needed to do it; she needed to have a serious talk with him. All she could do now was hope for the best.

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"To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing."

Next chapter: the most important talk ever

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So? What do you think?

Xoxo Sarah