To Bedlam and Partway Back
Rating: M
Disclaimer: I own none of these characters
NOTE: WARNINGS FOR SLASH, INCEST, AND CHAN
Chapter Fifteen
They lay there on the ground, robes haphazardly pulled over their forms as impromptu blankets. Their foreheads rested against each other, and his brother couldn't seem to stop touching his face. He himself wasn't much better, since his fingers were dancing around their hold at his waist, gently brushing the soft skin there and watching him shiver at the intimacy.
"What's changed?" his twin whispered. "Why now?"
A verbal answer wasn't necessary. It was right there in the opposite wing of the manor, lying unconscious in bed with possibly all his memories missing. He wouldn't have been able to stand it if it had been his twin lying in that bed. He'd needed some sort of reassurance, some sort of touch. No matter the past, they were more intrinsically and more fundamentally bonded than Cedric and Harry could ever be.
Now if that were ever happen to happen to them, he knew a touch from his twin would make him whole again. There was no way he could forget who they were, how they were, now that those memories were imprinted not in just one of them, but both of them. It was true, what the wizarding world said about twins. They were two halfs of a whole; twin beings to a soul.
Slowly, he began to stir, and pull his clothes back on.
"I've got to go," he murmured into the still air. "Cedric needs me- Harry could've woken-"
"Will there be any time for us?"
Herbie's hands dropped, deadened, to his side. He had spent so long denying himself, but it hadn't helped, only hurt.
"No one can find out," he rasped dryly.
Bernard's face was almost beatific with relief. "No one will. I just- Herbert, I need you back-"
He swallowed tightly. "I'm not sure I ever really left."
He pulled on the rest of his clothes, not waiting to hear the rest of Bernard's response before rushing out. He collided almost instantly with a solid blond presence.
"Cedric," he gasped.
The grey eyes looking back at him were wide and uncertain.
"H-Herbie I came to look for y-"
"Cedric," he pleaded.
He hadn't thought it could get any worse, but apparently it could, when Bernard made his way to the door to investigate, where he only recognised that his twin hadn't left yet. A naked arm slipped about his waist, blatantly intimate, and lips touched the back of his ear. Despite himself, Herbie relaxed into Bernard's protective hold.
"Herbert? Is something wrong?" he asked.
Cedric's eyes widened even further at the older twin's state of undress.
Herbie's eyes closed, and he flexed his fists, digging his nails into his palm. Now, they only needed Hermione to join the party-
"Cedric!"
Merlin, you had to be kidding me-
"Cedric! You have to come quick! Harry's waking up!"
All three heads turned to stare incredulously at the bushy-haired brunette at the other end of the corridor. She was bouncing excitedly on the balls of her feet, her hair nearly levitating above her head, not seeming to see the blond confronting the naked twins in the open corridor, one holding the other in a rather possessive fashion. "What are you'll waiting for! Hurry!" Without another word, she'd sped off back down the hall, none of them noticing the grateful smile she wore on her lips.
"Herbie-" Cedric began weakly, but he cut him off brusquely.
"Later. Harry needs us."
Apparently those were the magic words, because in the next moment Cedric was gone. He didn't even seem to realise that Herbie hadn't run off the same moment he had.
Lips pressed against the side of his neck. "I'm sorry," his twin breathed. "I didn't mean to put you in this position."
"But you did," Herbie said, a lot firmer than he felt, "and I'll simply have to deal with it."
"Wi-will this change our agreement?"
His jaw tightened, and he clenched his eyes tight. "No," he whispered. The next moment he was being kissed within an inch of his life.
"Go to him," Bernard said, his eyes more blue than pale. "I'll stay away from Diggory until- until you've had the chance to talk it over."
Herbie walked away before his twin could change his mind.
The thin thirteen-year-old was twisting in his sheets, obviously struggling with consciousness. Even as his limbs sprawled awkwardly all over, his eyes stayed resolutely shut.
"Harry, please," Cedric whispered, touching a soft cheek. "Open your eyes."
Miraculously enough, he did.
He shot straight into a sitting position, sharply drawing in his breath. His eyes were open to their fullest, as though he'd just come back from the dead.
"Harry!" Hermione exclaimed, and Herbie only just managed to grab her before she jumped the poor boy and injured him further.
Cedric reached out to cup the same cheek. He smiled bashfully, hoping and praying beyond all hope that Harry would remember this, remember him, remember them.
"Hi," he said shyly.
Harry smiled back, entirely unreserved.
"Hello. Come in and have a seat. Congrats on getting past Madam Pom- hey! I'm not in the Hospital Wing!" He gawked around himself at the unfamiliar room with undisguised wonder. He made a move as if to push his old glasses up the bridge of his nose, and then did a double-take when his finger met no resistance.
"Wow. I'm not wearing my glasses either, and yet-"
Cedric's heart fell.
"Harry."
The boy turned to look at Herbie, his open expression showing neither approval nor disapproval at the rather compromising position he and Hermione were in. Herbie's arms were wrapped across her chest in an effort to hold her back, and one hand was clapped over her mouth. She was struggling furiously, but Herbie wasn't the Hufflepuff Keeper for nothing.
"Do you remember either of us?"
When Harry shook his head, Hermione sagged disbelievingly in Herbie's arms.
"I'm afraid not. Have I met you before?" His tone was perfectly civil and polite, a stranger's tone.
"How about him?" This time, Herbie pointed at Cedric himself. The blond steeled himself for the rejection he was sure was to come. If he couldn't even remember Hermione-
"What, him? Of course I do. He's the Hufflepuff Seeker, although his name sort of escapes me at the moment…a sort of digger, I think, or maybe digestive-"
Herbie could barely hold back his mirth despite the severity of the situation. "Diggory. Cedric Diggory."
Harry grinned and snapped his fingers. "That's exactly it!" He pointed at Cedric triumphantly. "You're Cedric Diggory."
Cedric smiled at him sadly, but said nothing. Harry's grinned faltered, and he struggled to maintain it. There was something about Cedric's sadness that made his heart ache, for some reason he couldn't fathom.
"Well, Ceddy, I'm jealous," Herbie pouted. "He remembers that you're on the Quidditch team, but can't seem to remember me for some reason. I always thought I was better looking than you-"
The blond nearly choked at his words, while Harry whipped his head around. "You're on the Quidditch team too? For Hufflepuff?" He smiled kindly at Hermione. "Are you on the team as well?" Then his smile got a little strained. "Congrats on winning the match. And don't worry about rescheduling- if Wood's conceded, you have to hold him to it, no matter what kind of pity party he's been holding trying to drown himself in the showers-"
"Oh, Harry!" Hermione finally tore herself out of Herbie's lax grip and flung her arms around him. "I'm so glad you're okay!"
Harry immediately seized up. He knew she meant well, but for some odd reason, her touch made his skin crawl. It wasn't the same one, the one he wanted, the one he needed.
"Er, thank you," he managed, patting her weakly on the back. "Were we friends? I'm terribly sorry-"
"Harry James Potter!" Hermione exclaimed, and looked ready to burst into tears when Herbie gently guided her into a chair. Harry stared after her without comprehension, wishing he understood just why they were reacting like this. Then someone touched his elbow, and he nearly threw himself into their arms. This touch was such a relief after the girl-
Cedric looked stunned that Harry was burrowing himself into his chest. Herbie, too, looked shocked. Hermione appeared surprised out of her tears.
"Harry?" he asked hesitantly, touching the top of the tousled black mop.
The boy mumbled something incomprehensible.
"Harry," Cedric said again, placing a firmer hand on his shoulder.
"Mmm?" he hummed sleepily, looking up. It took him a couple of moments to get his bleary eyes open, but then he finally realised just who and where and what was going on, and promptly scurried back into bed with a shriek.
"I'm sorry!" he blurted out.
Despite the ridiculous situation, Cedric found himself laughing. "No," he told the startled boy, "I didn't mind at all."
He tried to ignore Herbie's mutter of, "You can say that again." At least Hermione managed to land a good one on his shin.
Poor Harry just looked even more confused. "What's going on?" he whispered. "Where am I, and ju-just-. What's going on?"
Cedric sighed heavily. "Well, Harry, you see, it's a long story."
"Wow."
"You can say that again."
"Wow."
"You can say that again."
"Wo-"
"Will the two of you just stop it!" Hermione snapped. Herbie and Harry glanced at each other guiltily, and then looked at the irate girl.
"This is a very, serious, matter!" she declared, stressing every word. The two boys nodded with enthusiasm, if only to escape her wrath.
"Serious. It's terribly serious."
"A serious matter. A very serious matter indeed."
"Oh, Merlin, will the two of you just shut it!" she growled. Their mouths snapped shut. Huffing angrily at them, she turned to the blond who'd been talking non-stop for the past two hours. "Cedric?"
He looked kindly at Harry. "Does any of this sound familiar to you?"
Harry stared up at him almost wondrously, blinking every couple of seconds. "I want to," he said, hushed. "I really do. It all sounds wonderful and splendid. But it doesn't sound like any of that could happen to me."
Hermione bit her lip. "Per-perhaps if I tell my bit of it?" Harry turned to her, surprised.
"We were both Gryffindors, Harry, and yearmates. You were- are- my best friend."
The boy managed a smile. "I'll listen," he promised. "I'll try."
And so Hermione began her story.
"You've got to be kidding me."
"A troll, dead unicorns, a series of death traps, You-Know-Who in Quirrell's head, and then Slytherin's bloody basilisk in the bloody pipes in the bloody walls let loose by Ginny bloody Weasley? Who just also happens to have You-Know-Who's bloody head inside of her?"
"Herbie," Hermione reprimanded tartly, "mind your language."
"I am minding it!" the boy exploded. "The two of you should've been dead! Like ten times over! Merlin, all of us should be dead!"
"I-I'm of a like mind," Harry rasped. Those were the first words he'd spoken since Hermione had begun her tale. The girl looked disappointed.
"You don't remember any of it?"
He looked apologetic. "No, sorry; I'm afraid I don't. Well, I do remember the Quidditch bits though."
Hermione sighed long-sufferingly, while the older boys chuckled. "Of course, forget your friends and nearly dying, it's Quidditch you have to remember."
Harry smiled a little. "If what you're telling me about Gryffindor is true though, I don't think I really had that many friends to forget in the first place."
It was a little hard to find anything to say after that.
The two of them were sitting alone in their room, watching the sun set. Cedric had refused to leave, not only because he was worried about Harry, but because he was afraid of facing Herbie as well. The older boy had very carefully not looked at him as both he and Hermione left.
"What's bothering you?" Harry asked, swinging his legs off the side of the bed.
The left side of Cedric's lips quirked up. "You are. And not in that way. I just wish- things weren't so difficult for us. We were happy, for a little while, when things cleared up. And then we went to Hogsmeade, and it all went to hell in a hand basket."
He at least had the boy smiling at his euphemisms, but then Harry was shaking his head. "That isn't just it. Herbie was looking at you funny- is he in love with you?" he blurted out, faltering. "I'm sorry- I didn't mean to cause any trouble-"
Cedric managed a smile for him, reaching out to gently touch a soft cheek. Harry constantly amazed him. Especially now, with how he could be so astute, and yet be so far off the mark at the same time.
"He isn't, so you don't have to worry about it," Cedric assured him. "Herbie and I…well, we'll sort something out."
Harry looked at him very levelly in a fearless way that he never had before. Without his memories, he was a lot bolder; more open, brighter, somehow. Cedric had seen flashes of that luminescence in his old Harry, but this one represented the one that could've been, if he hadn't gone through half the shit he had. Cedric hated himself for thinking about his Bonded in that fashion, but quickly realised that as much as the now-Harry attracted him, there was still an empathy in his old self that he found currently wanting.
"If you're sure," the boy was saying doubtfully, and then went back to swinging his legs over the edge of the bed.
Cedric watched him for a moment, and then sighed. "Harry-"
"How are you taking all of this?" he asked abruptly.
The blond was nonplussed. "What?"
"You," Harry repeated stubbornly. "This can't be easy for you, especially since you're left with all the memories of us and me, who can't remember a thing past Quidditch. You've already given up so much, Cedric. You can't be-" He turned away from him without finishing his sentence.
Cedric watched his still back for a long moment, trying to find the right words to say. "I swore an oath, Harry," he said finally, "And I'd never break it. More than swearing that oath to magic, though, I swore that oath to you."
Harry still wouldn't meet his gaze. Cedric had an odd feeling of déjà vu as he tilted the boy's chin up to face him. Going by the lost look in those brilliantly verdant eyes, Harry felt it too. He bent his head, but approached slowly, wanting to give the other boy the time to back away. But he didn't, although his breathing was getting faster and faster. Cedric had never been more grateful than when their lips met.
When he met Harry's eyes again, there was no glint of recognition, but Harry threw himself at the blond anyways, his body remembering at least the feel of being in the older boy's arms. He was moaning into Cedric's mouth, arms looped loosely about his neck, even as his legs were spread around his waist. Cedric muffled a grown, trying to ignore the growing warmth in his lap. Finally, he managed to tear his lips away, even though he was still panting heavily. Harry was staring at him with wide green eyes, two high spots of colour marking his cheeks.
"We should get to bed," Cedric said at last, when he found that he still couldn't tear his eyes away from Harry's flushed face. They'd both been too weary to go down to dinner, and the sun had long since set on the horizon.
"Alright," Harry agreed, hesitating just a little. When Cedric made as if to move off his bed, he completely lost it, throwing himself back into his arms, and clinging desperately.
"Where're you going?" he demanded. "You can't leave, you can't, not when I've just found-" A frustrated grimace crossed his face, and Cedric knew he's trying to remember, the memories in his head straining against his father's thrice-damned spell.
"Harry, Harry," he soothed, petting the smaller boy's back, "I'm just heading to my own bed. There I am, barely two feet away-"
"No, no, you can't," Harry ordered, and then reddened at the steel in his voice. "I didn't mean to," he said, softer. "I just- when you're here, you make me feel safer. I don't know why, can't remember- I'm guessing it has to do with what you and Hermione told me earlier." He glanced bashfully up at Cedric, almost-not-quite blushing.
Cedric wanted to crack his skull open on the wall. Merlin, this child was going to be the death of him. He couldn't refuse him, not when he was pleading so prettily like this. He reluctantly moved back into bed, and shifted till the two of them were lying parallel in the bed, a good two inches between them. Already the blood was pooling between his thighs. Cedric didn't even want to imagine what Herbie would say once he found them like this tomorrow morning- and then he remembered just how he'd found his best mate and his twin brother in the afternoon, and promptly shut that thought down.
But Harry wasn't having any of that chastity crap, and wiggled out of the blond's grasp to press himself as close as it was physically possible without gluing their skin together. He let out a satisfied rumble deep in his chest, causing Cedric's belly to tighten.
Harry giggled. "Cedric, stop poking me."
The bottom of his stomach dropped out.
"Y-you don't remember," he stuttered out, with all the vitality of a hanged man.
Harry looked at him curiously. "What don't I remember?"
He groaned.
"Cedric, Cedric, please." There was a small hand sliding up his waist, through his chest, to clutch at his shoulder, emanating trust and warmth. "Cedric, please- Oh." His eyes were round as his mind finally placed just what part of Cedric's body was poking him. And they only grew rounder as he looked pleadingly up at the blond. "Please, Cedric."
"Harry-"
"What if it helps?"
Cedric wanted to retort powerfully and say that only worked in fairytales, but couldn't find the heart to do that- or the blood It had all gone straight to- instead he just sighed.
"Please, Cedric. I don't have to understand what you're doing, just that you want it." Harry stared up at him appealingly, deferring this entirely only because he didn't quite have his full memories back. The Harry he remembered had been a little more self-deprecating, a little less deferential. Somewhere, deep inside him, Cedric couldn't deny that this was what he wanted, despite his Bonded's youthfulness, despite his amnesia, despite the impossibility of their act having any effect on his father's spell.
Harry tilted his head, eyes uncertain, and Cedric kissed him on the brow. "Alright," he rasped, "we'll try."
Immediately he found himself with a thirteen-year-old's lips glued to his own. Harry was shy, and awkward, and true to his word didn't have the slightest clue what he was doing, but somehow that just made him all the more endearing. Small hands tentatively grasped at broad shoulders, and Cedric found himself pulling the younger boy closer, wanting to get more of him, to feel more of him. When they broke for breath, Harry's emerald eyes were large.
"Am I doing this right?" he asked, voice hushed. "Is this-" he fumbled for a word "-correct?"
"Harry, it's okay." Cedric ran a hand through unruly locks. "There can't be a right or wrong way," he decided. "Besides," and here he went as red as tomato, "I don't quite know myself. I-I've never tried it. I don't know how it's done."
There was surprise reflected in young green eyes, but a bit of pleasure, too. Harry smiled, shyly, just that much surer of himself. "It's okay," he said. "It's alright. I trust you. We can learn together."
He tugged at the older boy's shirt, pulling it up and over his head. He then quickly shed his own top before Cedric could reach him. The blond regarded him, amused. "I was going to have to do that eventually anyways."
"I know," Harry retorted stubbornly, cheeks smarting. "You can do that next time."
Next time. Next time. Those two words were the most powerful spell Cedric had ever heard.
And then bottoms were removed, and Harry couldn't help but stare, eyes bulging out of his head.
"Is it- is it supposed to look like that?" he stammered.
It made the older boy want to swear. "I don't care," he muttered, "Herbie's doing the explanations this time."
"Explanations?" Harry asked, almost forgetting his embarrassment in his curiosity.
Cedric flushed uncomfortably, and it stood out against his pale skin. "Before- your accident, we'd had- the Talk."
Harry went pale. "I don't remember a thing."
"Exactly my point."
"Well," the brunet began hesitantly, "instead of explaining, couldn't you- couldn't you show me?"
Cedric looked at the boy as if he'd never seen him before. "Well, Harry, since you put it that way…"
They fell against each other, fingers gently seeking out old familiar spots with the newness of bared flesh.
"You're shivering," Cedric whispered.
"I'm just cold," the boy replied, clasped in his arms.
"You're burning up," Cedric protested.
Harry shot him a rakish grin. "Could you blame me?"
The blond looked at him in surprise and wonderment, and then immediately jumped him. Harry gasped in his ear, grip tightening on his arm.
"Cedric," he rasped, "Cedric, I-I-"
Cedric kissed him fiercely. "I know, Harry. I know. I'll stop if you say the word. Are you okay?" the blond whispered, lips brushing against a cold cheek.
"Give me a moment," Harry muttered. "I'll be okay in a moment."
The moment past, and Cedric surged forward again, Harry rising with him, his voice loosed around them.
"Merlin, I didn't know, I didn't know-" he was babbling now, unable to form even coherent sentences, as he felt the pleasure Cedric could give him for the first time in his young life. His chest was heaving in harsh pants, mind completely blown. He lay there, limp and boneless, as the older boy drew away, and tenderly cleaned them both off with a wet cloth instead of a spell.
"Yeah," Cedric agreed, just as breathlessly, as he sunk, job done, into the sheets beside him. "I wasn't expecting- I don't know what I was expecting, but that just-"
The look Harry sent him was grateful. "I'm glad, then," he managed, "that it wasn't just me-"
"No, no," the blond cooed, "of course not. You were more than wonderful, Harry."
He managed a tremulous smile for him, and in return Cedric sent back one of his mega-watt this-is-why-I-have-my-own-fanclub smiles. It made Harry laugh.
…but of course hell would freeze over before Herbie had his way in this (o: I'm sorry this is late, and I'm still not quite sure how I feel about this chapter…but I figured you'll deserved a chapter for waiting so patiently all week. It'll get better next week, I promise. In the meantime, do review. Cheers.