"Hallelujah"
A/N: This chapter was STUPID difficult for me to write, and I think it's because I tend to rush and am not too good at focusing on developing back story. Reviews will be greatly appreciated in terms of character development and story flow, from here on out. I need to know if I'm rushing them! Otherwise, hope you like the direction- and excuse the mess my chapters might be structurally, I keep forgetting that how I write them on my computer is not necessarily how they'll turn out on here. Oops!
Disclaimer: They're still not mine. And it's an honest to God tragedy.
It had been a long day and Quinn took a moment in the girls restroom to finally breathe while adjusting her ponytail. Her classes so far had been painfully boring and lunch was just now ending. There was only history and stats before school was over, and glee before she was finally able to go home.
She smiled at the thought of last weeks rehearsal and Finn making a complete fool of himself. Quinn had been a little surprised at how much she enjoyed seeing him get his behind handed to him over and over again by Rachel. Ever since she'd told Rachel about the Finn-Santana thing, the diva had become a little spitfire, tossing insult after insult at him that were all put together so eloquently you almost felt the compulsion to thank her afterwards. It was fun to watch.
Almost too fun to watch, and Quinn knew she needed to tread carefully. Her playful texting yesterday might've crossed a line she wasn't ready for. Yes, she wanted to share the cd and the song with her because she knew she'd enjoy it. Yes, she had hoped it would start some conversation beyond Finn so that they might be able to talk about something, anything, besides him. In the last few weeks since she'd told Rachel about Finn and Santana, the two had gotten surprisingly friendly, but they still hadn't gone so far as to really get to know each other…and they weren't even really friends yet either. They kept their conversations brief, and strictly to Finn and whatever dumb thing he said or did only. But Quinn was the only person Rachel was opening up too…and Quinn couldn't help herself, she liked it.
Did she plan on brazenly flirting with her the second they moved past talk of their mutual ex-boyfriend? Absolutely not. Did she regret it now that'd she cracked open that door? No, not really, but it was going to beg questions that she had no way of answering. So many things had changed for her in her life in the last year…so many things. This was just another thing, and she was taking it in stride…even if it involved things, changing, with Rachel Berry.
Quinn sighed and leaned against the counter, staring at her reflection. It'd been nice finding out that Rachel didn't annoy her nearly as much as she thought she would. She had to admit, she'd been kind of lonely lately. Brittany and Santana were spending more time together, alone, now that they'd taken their relationship to the next level. Quinn was happy for them, and it was wonderful to see Santana smiling in public now…but she constantly felt like the third wheel, and found it less awkward to just let them leave by themselves after school, and wave goodbye like it didn't bother her at all. Rachel spoke to her without fear…but with a little bit of nervousness still, which was more than she could say for everyone else at the school.
She took one last look at herself in the mirror before taking a deep breath and steeling herself before stepping out into the hallway. As she made her way past the rows of lockers and throngs of bug-eyed freshman boys who parted dramatically when she walked through, she thought back to the day she'd confronted Rachel.
Glee had just ended, and the boys were going to an emergency evening football practice since McKinnley had a game against their rival the next day. Most of the upper classman Cheerios were going to watch and hang around for support, and Quinn was just putting her things away and grabbing her bag with a change of clothes before meeting up with Brittany and Santana when she heard Rachel and Finn talking behind her a few lockers down.
"I'll see you later tonight, I'll come by right after practice." Finn smiled as he squeezed Rachel's hand one last time.
Rachel grinned. "I can't wait, I've waited so long for this already and I'm so glad that I didn't completely embarrass myself and give in to previously made advances from less worthy bo-" Finn quickly put a hand over her mouth, laughing.
"I'll see you later tonight." He leaned in for a quick kiss. "And I'm happy you're going to be my first too." He grinned, and turned to walk away, leaving Rachel blissfully staring after him, slowly closing her locker.
Quinn nearly gagged when she realized what they were talking about. An odd chill made its way down her spine and she found herself caught completely off guard at the idea of the two of them sleeping together. Especially when she, and everyone else, knew that Finn had actually lost his virginity to Santana. Because even though Rachel had man-hands (even though she didn't) and looked like RuPaul (even though she really didn't), Quinn had, for the most part, gotten over it all. Now, Rachel was just…Rachel. And Rachel didn't deserve the heartache Finn was about to cause her.
The cheerleader straightened up, fully turned to Rachel, and briskly made her way over before she let herself think. "Rachel."
Rachel turned. "Oh, hello Quinn." She shouldered her bag and faced the blonde. "What can I do for you?"
Quinn opened her mouth and suddenly had absolutely no idea what she was doing.
"Never mind"
Quinn scurried off to the bathroom, leaving a slightly confused Rachel behind her. She pushed her way into one of the stalls and quickly began changing her clothes, cursing herself for butting into something that really, really wasn't any of her business. She pulled her shirt over her head and her skirt down from her waist. Who was she to intervene and tell Rachel that her boyfriend was a liar? She kicked off her skirt and her shoes and let them all fall to the floor. Who was she to intervene and ruin anything for Rachel, after making her life hell for the last 17 years they've known each other, despite whatever civility they'd reached recently?
Quinn pulled on her jeans and the white v-neck she'd brought with her, and let her hair down from its ponytail, messing it up a little to give it a relaxed look. She pulled on her shoes again, gathered her scattered clothes and shoved them into her bag before stepping out of her stall- just as the bathroom door opened and Rachel shyly stepped in.
Quinn, again, felt that odd chill crawl through her.
"Quinn?" Rachel closed the door behind her and leaned against it, clutching her bag to her tightly, looking very uncomfortable. "I-I feel like whatever you had to say earlier was important."
"And why's that?" Quinn caught herself snapping, reminding her a bit of her old self.
The brunette stepped forward. "Because you looked nervous."
Quinn thought about just pushing past her and going to join the other Cheerios at the football practice, forgetting everything she'd heard earlier, ignoring Finn's existence on the field and what Rachel would be unknowingly giving of herself later that night, and just moving past it…because it wasn't any of her business. It wasn't, and she didn't need to start creating drama where-
"Are you going to sleep with Finn?"
If she had balls, Quinn would've certainly found a way to kick herself in them royally.
Rachel's eyebrows shot up, but the singer being as much of an open-book as ever, answered honestly. "Yes. At some point." Rachel fiddled with her hands anxiously. "Quite possibly this evening even, I-I thought it would be nice for Finn to go into tomorrows predictably devastating game with as good of an attitude as possible and-"
"Don't."
"What?" Rachel suddenly looked self-conscious. "I'm sorry, I do this, I ramble when I put myself into situations that are typically not-"
"Don't sleep with him." Quinn closed her eyes and leaned against the counter. She rubbed the bridge of her nose and her forehead briefly before running a hand through her hair. What was she doing?"Just let me say something, and then I'll leave and we can pretend this never happened or you can yell at me or whatever. I don't really care, but I've already started so just…let me finish."
Rachel looked almost scared. "Okay. I can do that."
The blonde looked at her carefully, and tried to speak as calmly as possible. "Would Finn be your first?"
"Yes, he would be my first. Jesse and I never went there." Rachel was wringing her hands together, looking anywhere but where Quinn was.
Quinn felt the tiniest surge of compassion when she saw Rachel's eyes begin to glisten, but she pressed forward knowing she'd already gone too far to back out now.
"You know you're not…his…though, right?"
The color drained from Rachel's face so quickly Quinn thought she might pass out in front of her. Crap. She'd wanted to ease into this more gracefully…be as eloquent as the brunette always was, break it to her as gently as possible.
Rachel's eyes seemed to glisten more and they became slightly unfocused, like her mind was going in a million directions at once. "I thought you two never…"
Quinn stepped away from the counter, her bag hanging limply at her side. "We didn't, Rachel, but he and Santana…" Her voice trailed off as she took in Rachel's typically confident demeanor breaking down. The person who used to take such satisfaction in Rachel's suffering was someone Quinn couldn't connect too anymore. She felt awful right now.
Rachel pushed off of the bathroom door and awkwardly stood still for a moment, looking up and away from Quinn to stop her tears from falling. Quinn had never felt more uncomfortable in her life but knew she just needed to get this out of the way so that she could continue on with her life, and let the other girl continue on with hers.
"I don't really know why I'm telling you this. I just thought you should know…since everyone else does." Rachel winced at that, as Quinn mentally kicked herself, and moved to leave the bathroom, sliding past Rachel. "I'm sorry".
Just as she reached the door she felt a small hand on her arm. She turned and met Rachel's eyes, both unsure of what to do or say. When Rachel couldn't find the words for something, she knew there just weren't any to say…so she did the only thing she could think of that felt right, and pulled the brunette into a hug- the first they'd ever shared.
"I messed up and gave myself to someone who didn't deserve it, I don't want you to make that same mistake." The blonde whispered, taking a chance and opening up. Rachel collapsed limply against her, bringing one arm around her waist and squeezing back.
Quinn felt a shuddery breath on her neck as Rachel opened her mouth to finally speak. "I don't understand how everything can go from being so perfect one moment, to completely upside down and awful the next."
They stayed like that for another minute before Rachel dropped her arm and pulled back slowly. She offered Quinn a half-smile before turning and opening the bathroom door to leave. "Thank you, Quinn. That was…very out of character."
Quinn let out a nervous breath. "Yeah."
Rachel stepped out of the bathroom and felt Quinn exit behind her. "You need to get to the football practice. I'm sure Brittany and Santana are waiting."
"Yeah," Quinn said, slinging her bag over her shoulder. "Umm…Rachel, are you okay?" She couldn't tell if the other girl was just in shock or if she was…actually okay, and handling this, which seemed unlikely…but Quinn was already confused enough by her own actions that she couldn't even begin to question the other girls.
Rachel smiled sadly and met her eyes before turning to leave, not answering Quinn's question but leaving her with a distinct feeling that yes, she was okay. Surprisingly.
Quinn shook herself out of her thoughts before entering her history class, meeting her teachers eyes and daring him to question her tardiness. She moved swiftly to the back of the room and sat beside Mike Chang, smiling at him briefly before opening her her book and pulling out her binder.
She glanced up after she'd gotten settled and found Finn staring at her from the right side of the room, a little near the front. He'd been doing that a lot lately…staring at her, questioning her motives, unsure of where they stood. She arched an eyebrow at him and gave him her best HBIC look, forcing him to turn away.
They were getting into the Great Depression, and Quinn already knew she was going to fall asleep if she actually tried to pay attention. She propped her head up on her hand and sighed, leaning over her desk and doodling in her notebook, letting her mind drift again.
Quinn woke up the next morning after her conversation with Rachel to her phone blowing up with text messages. She rolled over and groped for her phone on her bedside table, before pulling it off her charger and close enough to her face to read the screen.
"did u hear what happened?"
"GIRL! Finn and Rach can you even handle?"
"I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT'S HAPPENING"
"Man hands and the B FUCKING G are donnnneeeee!"
"(=^;^=)"
Quinn double checked and confirmed that the last text was from Brittany, while the rest were from Santana and other glee club members. Her mind was still hazy from waking up so suddenly, but one thing rang clear. Finn and Rachel had broken up.
Quinn sat up and sent a text back to Santana as quickly as she could. "Tell me EVERYTHING you know". She hesitated before opening a new message and scrolling through her contact until she found Rachel's name.
She typed quickly and hit Send before she had a chance to question herself. "Are you okay?"
Her phone vibrated within seconds, and it was Rachel. "No, but I will be." Quinn closed her phone, not sure of how to respond but figured she should get a move on her day and get ready for school, but as she stood up her phone vibrated again.
Another text, from Rachel.
"You know he actually had the nerve to get angry with me for caring so much about it? He said he only lied because he regretted it so much. I told him I would've been fine with it if he had just told me in the first place and not treated me like a baby who couldn't handle it."
Quinn felt the singers frustration even through text, and still wasn't sure how to respond. She didn't want to say the wrong thing and send the usually over-dramatic brunette spiraling out of control on her. At least, not this early.
Her phone vibrated again. And again, it was from Rachel. "Thank you for not treating me like a baby, Quinn"
The blonde found herself smiling, as she responded. "Anytime, Rachel"
Mike's head dropped to the desk from his hand with a dull thud, and it jolted Quinn out of her thoughts suddenly. She sat up straight and looked up at the whiteboard, confirming she had no idea what her teacher was talking about but was confident she'd figure it out later. She picked up her pencil and scribbled out the little house she's been doodling before glancing at the clock. Forty five minutes left.
Her phone vibrated loudly in her bag, startling Mike awake. He knocked his book off of his desk which distracted the class and teacher long enough for Quinn to reach down and grab her phone from her bag. She opened it and saw a text from Rachel.
"Did you know that both Jeff Buckley's and Kd Lang's versions of Hallelujah are not the full versions of the song?"
Quinn smiled. "Yes, I knew that"
"..I didn't even know that until last night"
"Pity"
"I found a Rufus Wainwright version"
Quinn smiled again, knowing she was about to annoy Rachel even more. "I have it too"
"What about Brandi Carlile?" Quinn's eyebrows rose at that one. No, she didn't have that one…that must've been hard to find, or new, because she was positive she had every version of the song available on iTunes.
She texted back, a little excited at what Rachel's response would be. "No…I don't have that one"
The response was immediate. "YESSSSS!"
Quinn laughed to herself as her phone vibrated again. "I'll burn it for you tomorrow?"
"Yes, I'd love that. Thank you " The blonde settled back into her seat and looked up to class rustling around and talking amongst themselves while their teacher spoke to another faculty member who had stepped in. Quinn turned to Mike and nudged him playfully. "You need to learn how to fall asleep more gracefully."
Mike blushed. "I know…that was pretty bad, huh?" He scratched the back of his head and stretched his arm behind him.
Quinn smiled at him before turning her attention back to her vibrating phone.
"Can we make a deal?" That caught the cheerleaders attention quickly.
"…Maybe?"
Almost a whole twenty more minutes went by before Rachel responded and Quinn was anxiously wondering what deal the singer wanted to make. The bell rang for class to be over and everyone scrambled to grab their things. Quinn checked her phone one last time to no avail and gathered her books together before swiftly exiting the classroom too avoid Finn "accidentally" bumping into her. She stepped into the hallway, sending a few glares at younger Cheerios and smiling at some freshman boys who were always really sweet to her, before feeling someone walking beside her. She prepared herself to snap at Finn or Puck, when she glanced over and saw Rachel. She smiled immediately.
"Well?"
"If I'm singing 'Hallelujah' for you, I'd like for you to sing it for me." Rachel looked up at Quinn and gave her a smug look, apparently satisfied with the shock that had registered on the blondes face.
"Rachel…I get making this fun, or equal, or whatever…but you do realize that song is horribly out of my range. Like, YOU of all people should know that."
"I'm confident you could find a way to make it work," Rachel said happily, stopping at her locker. She smiled at the somewhat awkward looks they were getting from surrounding students still surprised to see the two of the speaking without there being a slushy involved anywhere close. Her smile grew when she noticed Quinn practically pouting as she stammered for excuses. "And also, Quinn…" Rachel took a deep breath, daring herself to do this.
"Yeah?"
Rachel closed her locker after putting the rest of her things away and turned to the cheerleader. "I think you'd definitely be much better than Finn." She smiled, and proceeded to bounce away towards her next class, leaving the blonde stunned behind her.
Quinn turned. "What does THAT mean?" The familiarity of the exchange struck her then, and she realized what Rachel had just done.
Rachel spun around and smiled, before turning away.
And Quinn was certain she didn't imagine it, but there was a wink there.
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