And now welcome to Chef Voldemort! Cue the theme song!
Voldemort, Voldemort,
Oh, Voldy, Voldy, Voldy, Voldemort!
Bu-Dum Bum Bum Bum
Call my baby Voldemort,
Tell you why,
His face is uglier than any guy.
And when he doesn't shout Avada Kedavra,
He's using the Imperius Curse!
I call him Voldemort!
Here is your fabulous host, the man you've all been waiting for, Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeef Voldemort!
Applause, sound of man dying
Tonight, Voldemort will make a delicious dessert! He will be making...
Drum-roll
Yummy Tummy Gummy Bear Brownie Cake Pie!
"Wait a minute," said Voldemort. "I will make meatloaf, knishes, even portebello mushroom burgers, but I will not under any circumstances, make any happy sounding thing like a Yummy Tummy Gummy Bear Brownie Cake Pie!
"What? It's in my contract? Isn't there anything else? Please, anything but Yummy Tummy Gummy Bear Brownie Cake Pie!"
And then, down from the heavens, came, of course, the Zit. Since Voldemort had no idea who Dan Cahill was, he took on the form of Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. Voldemort lunged for him, but missed because the Zit was floating in the air.
"There is another choice," said the Zit. "You could give me your wand."
Some may find it very interesting that Voldemort handed over the wand in an instant. "Anything but that disgustingly happy delicacy!"
Then the Zit yelled, "Levinecro Wizard Jonah!"
And then, out of the ground, rose Jonah Wizard, in the form of a great sorcerer. Then Jonah shouted, "Levinecro Ninja Dan!"
And out of the ground popped Dan Cahill, in the form of a ninja. Then Jonah shouted, "Levinecro Amy Cahill!"
And out of the ground rose Amy Cahill, in the form of a nerdy mermaid.
The Zit smiled evilly. "Oops."
And then: "Levinecro Ian Kabra!"
And out of the ground rose Ian Kabra, in the form of a spoiled merman.