And from the heavens, the Zit looked down with great tears.
"Why must it be, that I am no longer in the story?" He asked the heavens of the heavens. "If not for me, then who? If not for me, then nobody. If not for me, Isabel and Opal would be in the asylum. If not for me, then Jonah, Dan, Amy and Ian, they would not exist. If not for me, Voldemort would wander endlessly on the Earth, never once hearing of the Yummy Tummy Gummy Bear Brownie Cake Pie. Why, oh great Author, must I stay up here, without the ability to embarrass others?"
And so the Author heard the Zit's tears, and he asked, "wat mor cud u want? I gav u life, power, twitter, and u cmplain? :("
And said the Zit: "Stop what you are doing, Twitter, Facebook, texting. What's wrong with talking?"
":( talking makes mi tung hurt."
So said the Zit, "There's something rotten in the state of-"
"Shhh, dont giv away mi position to d terrorists!"
"Why are you being hunted by terrorists?"
"funy words, head ake, hlp me, plz no weird wrds"
"The words of Shakespeare are not weird, but they are more beautiful than anything ever written. If you decide not to listen, your loss. But did you know he invented the word puke? Do you think he is so crazy now? As he once said, all the world's a stage."
"um, cud u repete dat last part? All I got was:"
The author senteth another message: "The words of Shakespeare are not weird, but they are more beautiful than anything ever written. If you decide not to listen, your loss. But did you know he inve"
Again he wrote to Zit: "yea, dough it iz a book, I can only get 160 carakterz. Me phon plan sez so."
"Well," said the Zit, "All that glisters is not gold, as Shakespeare also said. But can you put me back into the story, or else I must sleep, perchance to dream."
"Fine. I wil alow u to uz the wepon of gret evil. Satisfied?"
"No. Nothing can come of nothing."
"And a yumy tumy gumy ber brony cak py."
And so the Zit descended upon the Earth with his flying monkeys.