An Explosive Clashing of Rivals

- Part 4: Battle Preparations -

Koizumi, leaning against the wall by the door, smiled, but for once there was a hint of sourness behind it. "Well, that could have gone better."

I should have known he'd be listening in. Not that he needed to have heard anything, with the way I left the office in a hurry, but something about the way he said that made it clear that he'd heard just about every word.

"Mr. Koizumi!" Miss Asahina looked cross. "Kyon tried his best!"

"You misunderstand. It's not Kyon's performance that I'm criticizing. In fact, I think he proved quite well my point that Miss Suzumiya listens to him in situations where she would listen to no one else. It's Miss Suzumiya's reaction that is the problem."

"Yeah," I sighed. "I hate to say it, but she seems really angry with Miss Asahina."

"Was that it? I thought the underlying grievance was your relationship with Miss Sasaki."

Seriously? "Weren't you listening? That's just a side issue, at most. If you ask me, the only reason she even brought that up was because she's mad at me for standing by you guys. Just because your considering another agency hurts her pride."

"Hmm... perhaps. But if it is your history with Miss Sasaki that has pushed her over the edge, you can hardly expect Miss Suzumiya to let her emotions regarding that show, given the lack of romantic attention you have shown her since your first date."

...That was a good point, actually. All the same, I was sure that Sasaki wasn't the central issue here. Even supposing Haruhi was that attached to me after one date, there was no way she could get that bent out of shape over a guy she liked having an ex. I couldn't say how I knew that, since so far as I knew she hadn't had a boyfriend in the entire time I'd known her, but all the same, I knew. Haruhi didn't have much sense, but she had the sense to expect that a guy would have some romantic history, and accept it.

"So," I sighed. "I guess this is the end for SO3 Studio, then."

"Oh, no!" Miss Asahina shook her head so fiercely that her hair looked like it was running through a washing machine. "We can't let it end like this! Not when it's my fault..."

"Let's not be premature," Koizumi said. "Miss Suzumiya may look at things differently once she has calmed down. In the meantime, we should reconvene at a different location to prepare for the competition. Miss Suzumiya will not be pleased if she finds we have fallen behind in her absence."

He was damn right about that, too. The fact that she had fired the lot of us wouldn't be an excuse for not getting any work done on a Saturday in Haruhi's book. Much as I felt like I could really use the day off.

Let's not forget that being fired left us disabled. We had no idea how Haruhi intended to present Miss Asahina, and without access to the office we couldn't get any of Miss Asahina's costumes or stage equipment. This left us little to do but set up a karaoke machine with her usual set list and try to come up with a new "look" for her.

By the time Miss Asahina was finished practicing her third song, it was becoming apparent that we were missing something more than just equipment without Haruhi on board. "That was wonderful, Miss Asahina," I said. "Alright, next song."

"Um... but isn't there anything I need to work on?"

"Huh? Ah, no. No, that was absolutely perfect."

"But that's what you said about the first two songs! And you said before that I wasn't ready for a competition like this yet! There must be something I can improve on!"

"I just meant, your confidence isn't ready yet... Really, there were no problems whatsoever with that performance. It was magnificent." The look of doubt hadn't left her face, so I turned to the only other employee. "Koizumi?"

He looked up from the visual design program he was working with. "It was a fine performance, Miss Asahina."

She gave a tentative smile. "Okay. Boot me up with the next song, then!"

But her doubt was echoed in me. If Haruhi were here, she would have thrown a dozen criticisms Miss Asahina's way by now. She found fault in every note our angelic idol sang. It annoyed the hell out of me, sometimes even infuriated me, but it was hard to see how Miss Asahina could improve if no one pointed out any room for improvement. And the sad truth was, I just couldn't see any room for improvement.

Wow, that sounds so wrong.

Miss Asahina finished her fourth song and looked to me in mute expectation. It was as if her entire career hinged upon my response.

Damn it. I can't let myself be psyched out by the absence of the laziest, most unproductive member of SO3 Studio. If Haruhi can critique a performance, then so can I. And be more constructive about it, to boot.

"That was... great," I stalled, racking my brains for something about it that was less than perfect. Something the judges might reject her for. "Very... energetic, and powerful." Come on, come on. "Um... the one thing is, on a couple of notes your voice went off-key I think. I mean, it just kind of went up in pitch a little, and -"

"Aaaaaaah! I knew it!" She put her hands over her eyes. "It's true what they say, isn't it? I keep squeaking during my songs! I was doing it on the others ones too, wasn't I? I-I-I'm never going to win this competition!"

"No, no... That's not what I was saying at all," I protested. "I was just looking for something you could work on, to get even better than you are now. It was hardly even noticeable."

Good grief, talk about not being able to handle constructive criticism. How does Haruhi hold firm through this? She's got tears pouring out through her hands!

Koizumi was of no help, because his phone had started ringing almost as soon as Miss Asahina finished her song, and he was still wrapped up in that conversation. I grabbed the box of tissues I kept on hand for just such situations and tended to her as best as I could.

"I-I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I know I shouldn't be falling apart like this... It's just, you're all relying on me, and there's so little time left to prepare, and you're always so happy with my singing, so if even you are seeing problems then I... I... I must be doing haahhhhhhhh-rible!" She buried her face in a tissue. "I'm, I'm so sorry... I'm letting you all down..."

"Miss Asahina, please. You're going to do fine in the competition. You just need to stop crying, and keep practicing. You can only get better."

To be perfectly clear, by that last statement I only meant that practice, by its very nature, can only make you get better at whatever it is you're practicing.

But as I'm sure you've already guessed, Miss Asahina didn't interpret it that way. Her eyes went wide. "I'm... I'm that horrible...?"

An ear-piercing wail followed.

Once the ringing in my ears began to fade, I heard Koizumi saying, "Yes, we'll hurry over as fast as we can. Goodbye." He returned his phone to his pocket. "May I have both of your attentions, please?"

Miss Asahina wiped her eyes. "Y...yes?"

"That was Miss Suzumiya. She wants us to return to the SO3 Studio offices immediately."

For a moment I actually felt a cheer coming on.

Then Koizumi gave me a hard look. "And she wants to see you in her office as soon as we get back."

I had played out this scene before.

Oh, Haruhi had never fired any of us before, never mind all of us, but there was still a familiar pattern here. Haruhi gets a stupid idea, I point out how completely stupid it is, my words bounce right off her earlobes, she blows me off, later she rethinks things and doesn't do it anyway, and then she calls me into her office to chew me out for insubordination. It wasn't a routine by any stretch of the imagination, but it was familiar enough for me to recognize it. And dread it.

Not that I was afraid of Haruhi, of course. I just hated these sessions where she spouted out one hypocrisy and nonsensicality after another, her temper so flared up that I couldn't get a word in edgewise, leaving me to tremble with an irritation that I couldn't release because I'd only be wasting it on closed ears. That feeling of utter impotence in the face of utter irrationality. That's what I dreaded.

Nonetheless, I allowed myself no hesitation. I left Koizumi and Miss Asahina to work on vocal exercises and knocked on the door to "Haruhi's office". I'm using scare quotes because Haruhi didn't actually have a personal office; she kept her desk in the main room along with everyone else's. She said that was so the president would be immediately available to her employees and clients, an explanation that might have held some weight if she had ever showed the least willingness to help out with anything we were working on. The obvious truth was that she wanted to be in the company of the rest of us, not sitting alone in an office.

That didn't mean she didn't occasionally want to talk to one of us in private, usually to chew that person out. For those occasions, the meeting room was repurposed as her temporary office. For Haruhi, that was a surprisingly sane choice.

My knock was immediately answered: "Come in."

I stepped inside and closed the door behind me. Haruhi was seated on the opposite side of the table, arms folded, face clouded over. She looked like she was being forced to contemplate a strategic withdrawal from a battlefield, or something. That might have had me worried, but she had changed into her proper business attire, tie and all, so clearly SO3 Studio was back in business. If she was making a temporary retreat, it was from a different battlefield.

Her grim silence made me impatient: "Well, what is it?"

"Sit down."

That suggested an especially long tirade was coming, but there was nothing I could do about that. I pulled out a chair opposite her and sat. "What is it?" I repeated.

She glanced at my face, then looked away. "...Are you still mad at me?"

This I hadn't expected. "If your calling us here means you're going to move past Miss Asahina and Koizumi applying to Warm Tones Studio and get back to fighting for SO3 Studio, I don't see any reason why I would be mad at you."

"Hmm." She sounded unsatisfied. "But you're still wondering, aren't you, why I've been acting the way I've been acting in the first place?"

"Not really. That's your business."

"I see..." She sounded... saddened, actually, if that makes any kind of sense.

She wasn't saying anything more. And as I sat in expectant silence, the question started to gnaw at me. Damn it, I did want to know. "I mean, I am wondering, obviously, but you clearly aren't going to tell me, and I can't think of any reason why you should have to."

She glanced at me, and there it was: The flicker of anger I'd been hoping for. Not that getting Haruhi angry was a difficult trick to pull off. "You think you can tell me what I have to and don't have to do? I'm the president of this company! And you're obviously an even worse judge of character than I thought, because I am going to tell you!"

"Oh, is that so?" I folded my arms, projecting a skepticism I didn't feel. I mean, anyone who knew Haruhi at all knew that she didn't bluff.

"Shut up and listen. You can't mention any of what I'm about to tell you to anyone. Got that?"

"Yeah. I won't say a word."

"If you do tell anyone, I'll make you wish you'd never been born, you hear me? I'll -"

"Can we leave out the threats?" I sighed. "I told you, I won't tell anyone."

"Hmmph. Well, I suppose you've never broken your word to me." She drew a breath. "It's a long explanation, so I'll just start at the beginning: I like you."

"Oh, I see," I nodded. Then a thought hit me. "Wait, you don't mean -"

"I've probably liked you for a long time," she continued, looking away from me again. "But I only realized it when you asked me out that evening. It made me feel really good, you know?"

"Well, uh..." I could feel my face burning. Where was Haruhi going with this? I had a sinking feeling that I didn't want to find out.

"So I assumed that you were my boyfriend now. I liked that idea. Just thinking about when you were going to ask me out again and what we might be doing on our next date was enough to get me through each day."

I was doing some heavy duty blushing now. Why the hell was Haruhi telling me this stuff? Didn't she realize how vulnerable this made her?

"Except, of course, you never did ask me out again." She frowned. "And when I realized that you weren't going to ask me out again, that made me mad. Was I just another notch on your belt? Or had you just been mocking me, using my feelings as toys for your amusement?"

"I don't wear a belt, and what makes you think -"

"Shut up." She flashed a glare at me. "I'm not stupid. My feelings get me all jumbled up sometimes, but once I calm down I can always put the pieces together. I realize now that when you asked me out, you were just being nice, trying to make me feel better because you saw how upset I was about having to discontinue your paychecks." Her eyes lowered, making her expression unreadable. She said in a much quieter voice than her usual, "You've always been nice, even if you hide it most of the time."

I didn't know what to say. It didn't feel right to accept credit for being nice, but what could I say that could convince her she was wrong?

"But I was too mad at the time, so I wasn't thinking straight. I guess I must have been pretty unbearable, because even you turned against me."

"I didn't turn against you. I just told you to stop abusing Miss Asahina."

"When that happened, I realized..." she continued, totally oblivious to my words. "...I don't need a boyfriend. I don't need dating, or romance, or any of that tired cliche stuff. The only thing I really need is to have you on my team. So, it..." She took a deep breath, as if what she was saying required a lot of exertion. "...it made me really happy when I saw you were still on my team."

That sounded crazy. On her team? She was just my boss. It was an employment arrangement, that's all, and now that I wasn't drawing a paycheck, it wasn't even that. This was just the place I hung out at in the vague hopes that we might strike gold a second time and I wouldn't be consigned to an eternity of washing dishes and counting inventory.

But, even so... I understood what she meant.

"See, before I met you, nothing ever worked out the way I wanted it to, unless I did it myself," she went on. "Nothing exciting ever happened to me growing up. I never had any adventures or met any paranormal beings. Everyone in my classes was hopelessly dull. The few friends I had growing up all ditched me or betrayed me sooner or later. All the boys I dated were pigs. My parents broke up. My favorite aunt died of cancer. College turned out to be only mildly more interesting than public school. Every job I took after college was hopelessly dull. My cousin was killed by a drunk driver. None of the first hundred or so applicants I interviewed for SO3 Studio worked out."

This string of disconnected events in the life of Haruhi Suzumiya sounds insane no matter how you look at it, but in Haruhi's defense, she had told me about most of the stuff she was rattling off before. Though it was pretty disturbing to have it all listed off, making me realize for the first time just how much of my boss's personal life had been freely shared with me.

Then, like the other shoe dropping, she moved into uncharted territory: "Most of them were just plain dull and worthless, and the ones I hired all quit within a month. The one client I managed to recruit in the middle of that left for another agency, too."

"Whoa, hold it," I cut in. "You told me that you didn't hire any of the people who applied here before me."

"Huh? When did I say that?"

I racked my memory. "I'm sure you said that at one point. Anyway, you definitely never told me there were people working here before me."

"What, you think it's a good idea to advertise to job applicants that everyone who worked the job quit after a few weeks?" She snorted. "Anyway, what do you care? Are you actually jealous that people worked at SO3 Studio before you?" I opened my mouth, but she did not have the patience to continue arguing that point, and plowed forward, "The point is, before I met you I hadn't found a single person that I could rely on other than myself. Then you showed up, and everything turned around. Not only did you stick with the agency, but so did Koizumi. And Mikuru, our first client, has stayed with us too. I started to feel like you were, I dunno, my good luck charm. Once I had you, everything in my life started to work out."

"I'm sure that's just coincidence."

"Well, maybe. But sometimes things just work for reasons that we can't see, you know? It's like this band that isn't doing so hot. All their performances are really dry and unfocused. Then they change one member in the lineup, just one, and BAM!" She slammed the table with her fist, making me start. "Suddenly they're on fire, they're gelling together perfectly, they're feeding off each other in a big creative frenzy, audiences are screaming for one encore after another, record labels are throwing out crazy bids to get them to sign, and no one in the band can even tell what exactly it is that made everything change, but it has to do something with that new band member, right?!"

I leaned back and rubbed my shirt sleeve over my face to wipe away her spittle. "...I guess that's logical..."

"That's why I was afraid it was all over for SO3 Studio after you argued with me that day. And that's why, when you showed me you were still on my team after all, I felt like we were unstoppable, like we couldn't fail, no matter what we tried. So I figured, we should try something as big as possible, right? Like the Ultra Stars of the Future competition. Only no sooner have we started on that..."

At this point I wanted to just cut to the chase. "You find out Koizumi and Miss Asahina tried to join another agency, so they could leave SO3 Studio just like everyone else did before I showed up, right?"

"Yeah, and Yuki already has left for another agency." She lowered her head to rest on her folded arms and pursed her lips. "It's been a roller coaster of a week."

"Whoa, hold on. That wasn't our Nagato with them, remember?"

She raised an eyebrow. "You actually believed that?"

"It's a lot more believable than world-class idol singer Yuki Nagato disappearing just to become a paper-pusher at another talent agency, and even that is completely believable next to the Yuki Nagato we knew acting like that woman did."

"Well, that's true," she admitted. "All the same, I know it's her, Kyon. That's our Yuki we saw yesterday. I don't know if she has amnesia, or a split personality, or if she's just pretending to be someone else because she couldn't stand the spotlight anymore, but it's her." She clenched a fist to her chest. "I can feel it in my heart. She's the fifth member of SO3 Studio, and one way or another, we've got to get her back."

I didn't know what to say to that. What Haruhi was saying was insane, certifiably. But at the same time, she sounded so grounded and certain, not at all like one of her typical rants, that I couldn't help but believe what she was saying was true. In some way, at least.

"So..." I might as well ask. "Why are you telling me all this? I mean, about why you were upset, and everything."

"I didn't want you to think I'm just a bad boss."

"Then why not tell Koizumi and Miss Asahina, too?"

"I don't think they'd understand." She puffed out a breath. "Anyway, that's all."

I hesitated. It didn't seem right, that she'd shared all this with me, her hidden fears and weaknesses, while I... I was holding something back from her. Something that she had to be told.

She'd confessed her feelings for me. I had to confess to her as well.

She glanced up at me with one eye. "What?"

"Haruhi, I... I may have to leave SO3 Studio after all." I hurried on, not wanting to give her a chance to unleash her fury. "I'm not going to join Warm Tones Studio -" Mainly because they would never take me. "- but I need a job with a steady paycheck. My parents aren't going to just support me if I'm not earning any money. They haven't figured out yet that I'm working for free now, but it won't be much longer. If this competition doesn't pan out, I'll have to quit."

I was hoping she wouldn't flip out at me, but I expected her to get at least a little ruffled by that. Instead, she sat still and said without emotion, "I see." As if she'd been expecting this.

I mean, anyone with half a brain would have been expecting this. But this was Haruhi. Usually she didn't give a thought to other people's problems.

"Then we have no choice." She stood up, hands on her hips, a determined glint in her eye. "We have to win the competition."

"Yeah," I agreed, though a feeling of dread was creeping into my stomach. "If we can just give it our best, that would -"

"No! Giving it our best isn't good enough! Not when an SO3 Studio employee is at stake!" She thrust her face right into mine, making me wish I'd gotten up from my chair when I had the chance. There was no escape now. "WE – HAVE – TO – WIN!"

Uncomfortable as this was, I stood my ground. "It's easy to say that, but you can't win every time that you want. We all lose sometimes."

"Idiot! You don't understand!" She pulled away from me, mercifully, and turned her head in a sharp enough huff that it sent her short hair sweeping across her shoulders. "Ugh, never mind. I don't really need you on board with this, anyway. Just make sure Mikuru is prepared for the competition, got it?"

"What are you talking about? You don't need me on board, but you need me to help Mikuru get prepared for the competition? Aren't those the same thing?"

"I told you, never mind. Oh!" As abruptly as that, her face lit up, and she snatched a slim stack off of the table. "I almost forgot! Here's something that should help make sure you can stick it out long enough for us to win the competition."

She handed me a slip from the stack. It was a check. From Haruhi's personal account, made out to me. Thankfully, it used my real name; I wouldn't have put it past Haruhi to write "Kyon" following "Pay to the order of" and expect me to make the bank teller believe that that really is me.

I scratched the back of my head. "What is this?"

"Your bonus check!" She wore a smile of pure sunshine and lemonade. "I decided that for going above and beyond the call of duty by showing up for work today despite yesterday's discouraging encounter, everyone should get a bonus check! We have no money in the SO3 Studio account, but I had that money saved up from my website design work. It's not as much as you guys deserve, but it's all I could afford until after we win the competition."

Not as much as I deserve was right. I hoped she wasn't serious about this helping keep my folks off my back until the competition. I could earn more than this check in two shifts at a minimum wage job. Still, it was better than nothing. "Thanks," I said.

"No thanks!" she rebuffed, strutting out of the meeting room. "You've earned it, and that's all there is to that. Hey Koizumi! Mikuru! Surprise here for you!"

She passed out the checks, grinning like we had just won a major victory instead of facing a final battle for the survival of the agency. I guess it sounds weird to say "passed out" when there were only two of them. This agency really needs another employee or two.

Koizumi's eyes lit up as he got his check. "How generous," he remarked.

Generous? I'd better get a look at that. I don't question that my bonus pay is as much as Haruhi can afford to give me right now, but I can't believe even a boot-licker like Koizumi would call it "generous".

As I leaned over to get a look at the amount of Koizumi's check, he flipped it face down, put his hand over it, and shot me a look of polite remonstrance.

Agh, what do I want to look at it for, anyway? I can already guarantee that Haruhi gave him more than twice what I got, and do I really want to see it written out just how little she thinks I'm worth compared to him?

I cast a glance towards Haruhi to ask her if we could actually get some work done on preparing Miss Asahina for the competition, only to see both women disappearing into the meeting room. "Huh? What's going on?"

"Hmm," Koizumi mused, glancing at me expectantly. "I wonder if I'll get a private meeting with Miss Suzumiya, too."

"Your jokes really are not worth the bother."

"Well, there's no need to take such a serious look at the situation. In all probability she's simply giving Miss Asahina a pep talk."

"If Miss Asahina comes out of there crying, I'm going to give our boss a little 'pep talk' herself."

But when she emerged, just two minutes later, not one tear was in Miss Asahina's eyes. In fact, she looked like the weight of the world had just been lifted off of her shoulders. The sag of her eyelids when I criticized her performance was utterly gone, her chin was tilted up, and her whole posture was beaming with confidence. Not Haruhi-level confidence, but bright enough to find your way around a dark room.

I didn't get it. Haruhi had a few things she was good at as a talent agent, but instilling confidence in her clients had never been one of them. What went on in there?

"Does that satisfy your condition for asking Miss Suzumiya out again?" Koizumi whispered to me.

"Not a chance," I muttered. "Letting us come back and encouraging Miss Asahina are both just good business sense."

"And the bonus checks?"

I hadn't thought about that. "Probably her penance for those totally inappropriate firings."

"No whispering!" Haruhi snapped at us. "The employees of SO3 Studio do not have secrets from each other!"

Except for the private conversations you just had with me and Miss Asahina, you mean? Fine, then let me tell you all about the time I masturbated in the office bathroom.

She shot a disapproving look at me. "Gross secrets don't count!"

What the...? Did she just read my mind?

"Now come on, everyone! The competition's coming up fast, and we've got lots to do!"

Sometimes I wish montages happened in real life. I could whip right through arduous stuff like putting together new outfits for Miss Asahina, helping Koizumi work out skits for her to perform, and listening to Haruhi criticize her performances and realizing for the first time that she was better at it than I was.

Not, mind you, that she was any good at it; she just less awful at it than I was. Where I struggled to come up with any criticisms, Haruhi flung them out left and right, without hesitation or remorse. But maybe because of that, they weren't as devastating to Miss Asahina as mine were. She whimpered, sighed, and bowed her head, and then gave it another go, following Haruhi's instructions as best as she could.

And through it all, that confidence she showed when she emerged from that private talk with Haruhi never seemed to desert her. She struggled under the regimen imposed on her, but never wavered and never asked for a break.

I'm proud to say that Koizumi and I never stopped pulling for her, either. We worked long hours assembling her presentation, making it the best we possibly could. Maybe we nodded off now and then, but only because we were putting all we had into giving Miss Asahina the best possible shot. Even if it was a lost cause, we weren't going to let it be said that we didn't try.

Haruhi did give us Sunday off, which probably saved us all from collapsing. Her explanation, if this can be believed, was that she had some prep work to get done that she didn't need the rest of us for. If that's true, she must have some superhuman stamina, even accounting for the fact that while Koizumi and I were on the job she did little but criticize and give orders.

By Thursday afternoon, I was more than ready for another break. I implored whoever might be up there to let Haruhi give us a full weekend this time. I guess you could say my prayers were answered, but what I got wasn't the sort of break I had in mind.

I was up to my neck in editing Haruhi's latest batch of proposed choreographies for physical impossibilities and ideas that went way beyond our budget when my phone vibrated. My first instinct was to ignore the call, since anyone who wasn't a telemarketer or scam artist would know that at this hour I was working for a boss who frowned upon (and often yelled at) personal calls at work. But the caller ID said "Dad", which I figured had to mean an emergency of some sort. If anything, my father was more vehemently opposed to me taking personal calls at work than Haruhi was.

I cocked an ear at the meeting room to confirm that Haruhi was still occupied with force-changing Miss Asahina into her newest stage costume, then answered the phone, "Hey, Dad. Is something up?"

"Are you at work?"

"Yeah, so if you could make this quick..."

"Get back here. Right now."

"Look, we're kind of knee-deep in prep for the Ultra Stars of the Future competition -"

"Right. Now."

My father could say more in two little words than Haruhi could in a half-hour rant. I wasn't sure whose wrath I feared more, though, so I might have argued further if my father hadn't hung up right then. Which was yet another omen of just how hellish the terrors would be if I didn't do as my father said. Haruhi's wrath was starting to look bearable.

I knew how pathetic it was for a grown man to be more afraid of his parents than of abrogating his duty to his job in the middle of a do-or-die project, but without financial independence, that was where I was. I got up and knocked on the door to the meeting room.

I only had to wait a minute before Haruhi stuck her head out. "What?" she demanded.

"I have to go home."

"What are you talking about?"

"My father just called. He wants me to come home right away."

Her sharply honed forehead softened into lines of worry. "He suspects you're working without pay, doesn't he."

This was beyond mind-reading. That possibility hadn't even occurred to me yet. "I don't know, but he told me to come home, and it wasn't up for discussion. I can't promise that I'll be able to get back here anytime today."

I shouldn't have expected Haruhi to understand, even a little. In her mind, her will was what went, and her authority was impervious to any challenge.

"Okay," she said. Her eyes narrowed at me, but went no further than mild reproof. "We'll manage without you. But you better be ready to work extra hard tomorrow! The competition is next week, and we've still got a lot to do."

Yeah, tell that to my father. This wasn't my idea.

Though I had to ask myself, why was I so willing to put all this toil and sweat into this competition? Only an idiot would think we had a real chance of winning. As I'd already pointed out to Haruhi, yes, Miss Asahina was amazing, and yes, she had our full support behind her, but all that had been true for years now and it hadn't gotten us anywhere. If winning the Ultra Stars of the Future competition was our last hope of survival, then I might as well just quit now and save myself the futile effort. Maybe convince Koizumi, Miss Asahina, and Haruhi to save themselves the futile effort, too.

There was no way around it; only a fool wouldn't give up on this. And I wasn't going to give up on it.

When I got home, it was like the opening of a scene from a bad soap opera. In our spotlessly clean living room my father was standing sharply upright, arms folded, his rounded forehead as grimly imposing as ever, while my mother sat in an armchair haphazardly placed near the center of the room, a lit cigarette clenched between her index and middle fingers. I tried to remember the last time I saw her smoking inside the house. I think it was when they found birth control products in my sister's room.

I reminded myself that I was a grown man now. "Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad."

Mom didn't even make eye contact; not like she was angry, but like she was afraid to look at me. Dad, on the other hand, had fixed his eyes right on me and seemed to dare me to look away. "Son, a friend of yours told us that SO3 Studio isn't paying you for your work."

There was no follow-up. He just let that one statement out there for me to respond to, as though throwing down the gauntlet.

"What friend told you that?" I asked.

"That's not important. Is it true?"

I was smart enough not to force a laugh. I just curled my lips. "Dad, that's ridiculous. I don't even like working when I'm getting paid. Why would I work for somewhere that isn't even giving me any money?"

This wasn't quite true. I'll admit I slacked on my job hunting for a good long while, but really, I'm as willing to work as anyone else. I won't get as excited about it if it's not an exciting job, but I'm not completely lazy. But I figured that I had frustrated my parents with my lack of progress on the job front enough to make the lie get past them.

"That's exactly what I thought, at first," my father agreed. "It was too absurd an idea for us to even ask to see your pay stubs. But then..."

He heaved a heavy sigh, like it was a real struggle to say what he had to say next. Mom puffed on her cigarette twice as she glanced at him.

"Then we found out that you might have a reason other than money for hanging out at that studio."

I felt a sort of relief when he said that, because I had no idea what he could be talking about. This was just some sort of mistake, after all. "Well, of course it's not just about the money," I said. "I've been working with these people for years now; they're my friends. And I like what... No, I believe in what we're doing. Yuki Nagato wasn't just a star who made a lot of money; she was a special voice of a one-of-a-kind person who people wouldn't have ever heard if it weren't for us."

I guess that was kind of corny. But I meant it, and I wasn't ashamed of having said it.

My mother chirped in, still not looking at me: "And what about that tramp who you're sponsoring now?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Mom." I chose to assume that she wasn't talking about the angelic Miss Asahina.

"She's talking about this," my father said, picking up a magazine from the couch and handing it to me. It was an issue of the trashy gossip wastepaper that my mother liked to read. Frankly, I didn't even like to touch the thing. "Page five."

I turned to the directed page, having no idea what this could be about. Then I got an eyeful of the headline and photo that my parents were undoubtedly talking about.

"M-m-miss Asahina?!"

The headline was lurid and cruel: "Ultra Stars Contestant Mikuru Asahina's Naughty Side Exposed". As for the photo... I don't want to describe the pose Miss Asahina was in, or the expression on her face. I'll just say what she was wearing, and leave you to imagine the rest.

It was a bunny girl costume.

Author's notes: I love it when the characters take control of the story. When I first imagined the scene where Kyon tells Haruhi that he may be forced to quit SO3 Studio, Haruhi was to respond with calm acceptance. Before I got to actually writing the scene, though, Haruhi smacked the back of my head and said, "What the hell is wrong with you?! Why would I ever accept even the possibility of one of my employees being taken away from me, especially Kyon?!" That led not only to the correction of that scene, but to the remainder of the plot for this fic taking shape.

Also, I forgot to mention this last chapter: Kyon forgetting that Haruhi lives in the office was inspired by my doing the same thing. I originally plotted that chapter so that Haruhi would be absent from the office when the others showed up for work and Kyon would try calling her at home, and it wasn't until days later that it occurred to me that the office is her home. Sometimes you can make lemonade out of your own goofs.