AN/ *Cringe* Okay, so I decided to relax the rigid structure that I had for this story to let it flow. I've kind of half assed my way through the end of certain stories (you can probably figure out which ones if you read them) and I didn't want to do that with this story. SO, I hope you enjoy. Sorry for the delay.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

"Are you ready to go?" Spencer asked me as he climbed into the driver's seat. For the first time in months, the team was so bogged down with interviews and profiling duties that Hotch reluctantly sent me into the field to interview a witness with Reid. I could tell that part of him was searching for any way to get around sending me into the field, but I also felt a swell of pride that I was able to get out of the precinct.

"I'm ready for anything that gets me away from Detective Shaffer." I chuckled slightly at the truth behind my words. Some men just didn't get the hint.

"Really?" He asked me, surprised. "I thought the two of you were hitting it off."

"Um, no." I corrected him slightly, feeling an involuntary blush creep up my cheeks. Thankfully Spencer was focused on the road in front of him, otherwise I may have recieved questions I wasn't ready to answer quite yet.

A moment of silence befell us as each of us was lost in our own thoughts.

"How's Henry?" He asked, clearing his throat.

I couldn't help the grin that errupted. "He's good. His favorite thing is to lose is glasses. I've found them tucked in various drawers and yesterday, he tried to flush them down the toilet."

Reid laughed. "You know, some researchers have found a positive correlation between children who--"

"Spence, stop." I interrupted. Despite how much he loves his godson, I didn't think I could take any more of his possible theories as to whether Henry would grow up to be a genius. There was too much pressure, and I had too often found myself wide awake at three in the morning worrying about what I would do with a genius child. "I think he's pretty smart too."

Reid beamed proudly and I thought for a moment how I was closer to the man next to me than my own brothers.

"What did Hotch tell you before we left?" I asked, suddenly hit by the oddity of their earlier exchange.

I was surprised to see a blush rush to his cheeks. "I don't think I'm supposed to tell you."

All I had to do was arch my eyebrow in question. Reid didn't stand a chance and just like expected, he caved easily.

Or so I thought.

"I'm not going to tell you." He insisted, smirking as he realized that I hadn't anticipated that response.

"Sometimes, Spencer Reid, I really hate you." I grumbled, despite the smirk that betrayed me as I tried to contemplate Reid and Hotch's interchange.

"Jayje, can I ask you a question?" He asked as I turned the SUV onto the highway after our interview.

"Why don't I drive more often?" I anticipated the question that was at least on my own mind. "I would tell you that I am not sure because--"

"No." Reid laughed. "I get that."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I retorted hotly. The entire

"Erm. Nothing. You're a great driver." He assured me placatingly. Part of me wanted to laugh at his quick, calming response. The other part of me was immediately defensive of my own driving.

After a moment of silence, my curiosity was piqued. "What did you want to ask?"

"It's probably too personal." He cringed and I couldn't help but smile. Spence had never been good at the whole "social grace" idea and we had already had many conversations about which topics were appropriate for friends to talk about.

"No, ask me anything." I shrugged, feeling in no particular sense of modesty. With Spencer Reid, I was never sure what topic was about to come up, but it was usually interesting.

He hesitated, but I could tell he desperately wanted to ask me whatever was on his mind. "Well, after I talked to Hotch, I've just been wondering--"

"What did you talk to Hotch about?" I asked casually, the curiosity still driving me crazy.

Despite the length of time between our earlier conversation, apparently Reid remembered his firm stance. "I'm still not telling you." He smirked to himself proudly.

"Damn." I murmured under my breath.

"Anyway." Reid continued, "I was just wondering what's going on between you and Hotch." He stated as if he had come to an important conclusion.

"Was that a question?" I hedged, not entirely sure myself what was going on between me and our boss, glancing over at him, I could easily tell he was not about to be dissuaded. Sighing, I relented. "I'm not sure." I answered honestly. "He and Jack come over sometimes, and its just nice to have someone who understands." I said honestly.

He nodded, and out of the corner of my eye I could see his Adam's Apple bob a few times as he processed my answer. "Good."

"Good?" I smiled, glancing over at him questioningly. "What does that mean?"

The genius shrugged, "I think you've been through enough. I'm glad Hotch can be there for you."

I smiled slightly as I thought back to the night before this case when Aaron had brought Jack over for dinner. That night, things just felt right.

Several minutes passed before I realized that I had once again fallen into silence. Breathing deeply, I blurted out the thought that had been haunting me for weeks. "Do you think Henry remembers?"

"Remembers what?"

"Will." His name came out as a reveranced whisper and an awkward silence befell us as the genius doctor Spencer Reid contemplated the loaded question that I had laid on him.

"Many scientists believe that the synapses in the brain for memories don't form until the age of three or older." He said slowly, "But some people have reported memories from much younger ages, so yeah. I think it's possible."

His response lifted a weight I didn't know I was carrying. I had worried that Henry wouldn't remember his father, but more than that, I continued to worry that I wasn't enough for him. "Do you think I'm wrong for coming back to work?" The question was out of my mouth before I could stop it.

He paused for a moment. "JJ, I think that's a question only you can answer." He deflected.

I sighed, silently agreeing with him. "I know. It's just, I'm the only one he has left, and I worry that if I'm always gone for work--what if he doesn't know how much I love him? What if he doesn't know how much his dad loved him? What if I'm relying too much on Hotch and everyone else to be a good mother to my son? What if--" My thoughts trailed off as I was unable to voice the demons that had plagued me for nearly a year.

Reid must have sensed I was unable to continue, because suddenly he spoke up in the quiet wisdom that I had come to respect. "Would you like know what I think?" He asked.

All I could do was force my head to nod as I focused on the road ahead of me. I could feel my fingernails dig in tightly to the steering wheel, but it felt good to get these questions answered. If not by Reid, then to answer them myself.

"I think that you're a great mother, and for now, that has to be enough." He said sagely. "You can wonder about the 'what ifs' for years, but as Steve Loney said, 'The what ifs will kill you'."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked, probably a little too harshly.

"It means if you're always focused on what could have happened, you'll never be able to move on." He smiled encouragingly as we pulled up to the precinct where the other members of the team were waiting inside.

"Since when do you know what a football coach says?" I asked after a moment, the quote he had used earlier finally registering in my mind.

"You'd be surprised what I know." Spence smiled easily before getting out of the car, grinning mischieviously.