AN/I know, I know, many of you gave up on this story because its been so long since I updated. BUT, I didn't.

I sat in my office and craned my neck. No. This isn't happening. It's too soon. I scolded myself as I forced my eyes to focus back on the file in front of me. I am not falling in love with Aaron Hotchner.

"Jayje?" Garcia poked her head into my office, "you still planning on tonight's extravaganza?"

"Oh, about that..." I scanned my mind for any possible excuse I could come up with. It wasn't that I didn't want to spend time with Penelope and Emily alone, I just was not looking forward to the third degree I knew was in store.

Nor did another 'Chick-flick-athon' seem like something I was remotely interested in.

"Don't even try JJ." Emily shook her head, coming in and sitting across from me. "Someone here's already gotten a stack of movies and a case of chocolate for us to go through. I don't think you'd get out of this for anything."

"Nope, I've already contacted every detective within a thirty mile radius, and each one assured me there will be no matters of national security that will require your attention." Penelope winked, "So let's get this show on the road."

Groaning, I looked at the clock and realized I had no chance for escape. "Alright, but I'm not paying for takeout this time."

"Alright Jayje, spill." Penelope commanded me as she plopped down on the couch with Twizzlers in hand.

"Spill what?" I asked, knowing exactly what she was asking, but desperatelyt trying to find a way to avoid the conversation.

"You, Hotch, the rare and pure animal magnatism that draws the two of you together like magnets-"

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said, despite the slight blush I could feel rushing to my cheeks.

"Stuff it Cream Puff, I know you're lying." Penelope rolled her eyes, pointing the strand of licorice at me. "And you're not getting out of here until you supply me with all of the juicy details that make my heart jump with happiness."

"Come on Jayje, we're dying for a little dirt." Emily pleaded in agreement.

"He asked me out." I admitted finally, fighting the twinge of blush that began to creep up my cheeks.

"Really? Like on a date?" Emily exclaimed in excitedly. "That's great."

"Is it?" I asked, knowing that if anyone would let me voice the concerns that plagued me, it would be my two friends.

"Of course it is, Sweetie." Penelope responded immediately, looking at me curiously.

Apparently detecting the doubt in my eyes, Emily looked at me curiously. "Why wouldn't it be great?"

I sighed, not wanting to disturb the fun mood my friends were in, but also knowing that I would get no rest until this matter was resolved. "I just feel like maybe, maybe I'm not supposed to date Hotch. I mean, really, Will's only been gone-"

"A year." Garcia interrupted. "He's been gone a whole year and you're just thinking about someone else. That's not wrong."

"It feels wrong." I admitted, seeing the questioning glances in my friends' eyes, I felt compelled to explain, "It feels like I'm cheating on his memory. That maybe I've already had my chance and now-"

"Now you are destined to a life of loneliness?" Emily supplied, and I couldn't help but feeling that somehow she knew exactly what I was talking about.

Wordlessly, I nodded.

"Oh Jayje, you can't really believe that!" Penelope looked at me in horror, "you're only 34. You've got an entire life ahead of you."

I shrugged, not needing to explain anymore. Emily bit her lip and I could easily see that she was trying desperately to find the right words, "Jayje, I-"

"You don't have to say anything." I waved her off, suddenly feeling the need to give them an out. What more was there to say?

"No, Jayje, I just want to ask you a question." Emily replied seriously, "If it had been Will who lived, if you had died instead of him, what would you want?"

"Em, I know what you're trying to say-" I groaned inwardly.

"Would you just answer the damn question!" Garcia barked uncharacteristically, then smiled to let me know she was only kidding. "Seriously Jayje, what do you think you would want for Will?"

I sat back, slightly floored. I had never thought of it like that before. "I guess," I started, thinking deeply, "I guess I would want him to be happy."

"And if he had waited an entire year before even going on a date, would you hate him?"

"No." I smiled, feeling a weight of relief that was quickly replaced with a new problem. "But what if I'm not ready to move on?"

"Well that's just going to have to be something you figure out for yourself." Emily advised sagely. "But you're never going to find that out until you try."

I smiled at Hotch as I sat down across from him in the small Mexican restaurant. I tried to quiet the fluttering in my stomach, but it only seemed to get worse once he smiled back at me. "Hey," I offered lamely, feeling somehow compelled to start the dinner conversation.

"I hope you like Mexican," Hotch grinned. "Dave told me this place is one of the best in the city."

"And you're taking Dave's advice on food establishments now?" I scoffed lightly. "You do remember that time in Baton Rouge?"

"Oh!" Hotch groaned, I could practically see his stomach rolling over in protest. "Don't remind me. The entire team came down with food poisoning."

"Not to mention I've never been able to look at fried chicken the same way." I chuckled.

Grimacing, Hotch shook his head, "Dave promised me that this place was much better."

I laughed lightly, "If it's not, I'm going to get even with him-mark my words."

Dinner conversation flowed quickly and easily, and I couldn't help but feel like Hotch understood a piece of me that I hadn't known existed. I felt myself burn with attraction as our date quickly ended with the promises of dates to come.

As I closed the door at the end of the night, I sighed and leaned against it-grateful that Garcia was watching Henry all night long.

Because now I had all night to convince myself that I wasn't falling in love with Aaron Hotchner.