AN/ Thanks again for the reviews on chpt 10. I can tell that some of you loved it, others not so much...lol. Sorry about that.

Some of you are probably not going to care for this chpt either. Thems the breaks but I thank each and everyone of you for reading.

Disclaimer: Not mine...

"What?" Sookie screeched jumping out of the tub and chasing after him. "You never forgot? Do you mean to tell me that you knew me the whole fucking time?"

Eric was standing with his back to her. His head hung down almost touching his chest. She could see his shoulders trembling. "I knew."

"Why Eric?" Sookie walked over and placed herself in front of him, trying to catch a glimpse of his face. "And how where you able to lie to me? You always said the bond wouldn't allow you to lie to me."

"And it does not. I never lied to you."

"Yes you did. You denied that you knew me." Sookie placed a hand under his chin and tried to pull his gaze up to hers. He wouldn't budge. She removed her hand and was startled to see blood on it.

"I played on what you assumed Sookie. I never fully denied knowing you." His voice was quiet, not as strong as its usual tenor. "I told you that I sensed you in my blood, that yours sang to me. I waited for you to explain and you did. The bond." Eric scoffed. "I love you." Eric said pointing between him and Sookie. "Never, Eric I love you."

"You said that you didn't love me." Eric shook his head. "You did. You said I love Pam. You I just want to fuck and drink."

"I played on your words a bit. Not enough to lie." Eric shrugged his shoulders. "I did tell you that I loved you the next night although you never acknowledge it. Why I am surprised, is beyond me."

"When? You came over and tried to glamour me then used the bond to get inside." Sookie's voice seethed with her anger.

"Oh my dear one. Must we play at this?" Sookie curled her lip up at him and snarled. "Very well. You had mentioned that I didn't want to make love to you anymore and I responded that I would always want you. Even IF I did not love you, I would still want to fuck you. You just assumed what you wanted as usual."

"What I assumed? You have to be kidding me? You fucked with my head." Sookie slammed her hands into his chest, causing him to stumble back a step. "You had me worried sick that I had lost you. You made me believe that you didn't love me anymore. All this time I have been worried about what I did wrong and you were playing games with me. Tell me why Eric."

"I am tired Sookie." Eric stated turning from her. "I can't do this tonight. Nothing has worked out as I had hoped."

"What were you hoping for Eric? Too drive me fucking crazy. Too finally push me over the edge. What about what I want?" Sookie's voice broke. She bit back the tears, she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing just how hurt she was.

"Isn't it always about you Sookie?" Eric whirled on her and placed his hands on her shoulders looking her dead in the eyes. Bloody tears, traced rivers down his face. "I have given you all that I have. All that I am and you still see me as a monster. So perhaps I behaved as one for your benefit."

Sookie slapped him hard across his face. She steeled herself against his quiet tears. "How long ago did you come up with this whole plan? I am guessing that you Ames and Pam plotted this genius idea out? So how long have you been scheming to make me go mad?"

"A while." Eric placed his palm against his cheek and nodded his head at Sookie as he turned the other one for her to damage. "Although it was never about making you go mad."

"So let me ASSUME that you first started ignoring me in order to set this plan in motion." At the nod of Eric's head Sookie resumed. "So you were just hoping that I would be desperate enough that I would run to Amelia and cast a spell on you?"

"No." Was Eric's simple reply. He turned away from her again and went to the closet. He came back pulling a t-shirt over his head.

"No? Is that all I am going to get?" Sookie exclaimed. She couldn't believe that he was clamming up like this. It wasn't like Eric. She was so angry with him right now but she wanted him to explain and she would be damned if she would leave this room before he did.

"What would you like me to say Sookie?" Eric pulled a bag out from under the bed and started piling clothes from her drawer in them. "Would you like for me to tell you that I was sick to death of paying for Bill's mistakes. Or that I was tired of you holding me at arms length. Of never saying that you cared for me or Odin forbid, loved me unless it was under duress."

"Thats not true." Sookie stuttered out. "I came to you. I tried to talk to you. I begged you to tell me what was wrong. You patted my head like a child and denied anything was wrong."

"No Sookie." Eric wiped the tears from his eyes with his shirt. "Thats what you think happened but in reality, you were pissed because I wasn't at your beck and call the way you wanted me to be. Every time you approached me it was for sex. Not talking of caring for one another."

"Ugh, you are so full of it." Sookie rolled her eyes and stomped her foot. She clasped her hands into fist and wished for a moment that she could just beat the shit out of him. " I came to you because I cared."

"You came to me because you were horny and I had the means to scratch your itch." Sookie reared back to slap him again but Eric stilled her hand. "There has been enough violence between us. No more. You are mad now because you know deep down inside that what I say is true. To you I am nothing more then a monster. Some evil beast that you USE to find comfort from the voices that would overrun you. I am more then that Sookie and yet you will not see it."

"So all of this was your way of getting me to say I love you." Sookie snatched her hand away. "Thats just pathetic."

"Very true." Eric nodded "It was all I could think to do. Talking to you is impossible. You wont even acknowledge a future with me. You hate it when I refer to you as my wife or my bonded and you turn up your nose at the home I would give you. I am not what you want. I understand that now and I will no longer try to force the issue."

"You are wrong on so many levels that I don't even know where to start."

"Then do not." Eric placed her possessions on the bed and handed her a set of clothes. "Get dressed and Pam will see you home. You won't have to worry about her. I promise."

"So thats it?" Sookie took the clothes out of his hand. She grabbed a pair of underwear and jeans and pulled them on under her towel. She turned her back on him and placed a shirt over her head. "The great Eric Northman is done so no more discussion?"

"What more is there to say Sookie?"

"A lot Eric." Sookie turned back around smoothing to shirt over herself. "How about my blood? Why not drink from me? What was the purpose in that? Also shutting the bond down. You have only done that before when you were protecting me?"

"Oh yes the bond. Let us discuss for the hundredth time how I forced that on you and how you blame it for what you feel." Eric snorted. "Whats the point of having or using it, if you deny that it is you that loves Sookie. Its you that feels. You still felt desire for me without it?"

Sookie nodded her head. "I did. I still don't trust everything I feel through it though."

"This I know." Eric sat on the bed and dropped his head down to the floor. he glanced back up at her with hopeless eyes. "I had hoped that you would realize that you loved me and wanted me without the bond, blood and sex involved but you can't allow yourself or me that. When will you ever be honest about what you feel?"

"My blood Eric. Why didn't you drink from me and better yet who did you drink from and fuck behind my back?" She chose to ignore his comments until he answered her questions. She had a right to know.

"I drank from no one. I fucked no one."

"You're lying."

"Believe what you will. I do not require much to sustain myself and as much as it pains me to say it, I drank that synthetic crap." Eric said with a shiver.

"You went months without sex?" Sookie snorted. "I find that very hard to believe."

"Did you go without?" Eric asked.

"Yes."

"So why is it so hard for you to believe me?" Eric stared into her eyes, trying to make her acknowledge the truth. "I am more then my cock Sookie."

"Whatever Eric."

"Why is it so hard for you to trust that?" Eric stood up and walked over to her. He reached a finger up and traced its tip from her cheekbone down to her lips. "Why is it so hard for you to believe that I love you and place you above others. I would not have dishonored your trust like that."

Sookie scoffed. He might not have slept with someone else but he sure as hell had screwed them over.

"Still seeing things from only your point of view I see. I admit, I am wrong for what I have done." Eric pulled back his hand and tucked it into his pocket. "Can you not even admit your wrong doings?"

"The only thing I did wrong was let Amelia talk me into that stupid spell. If I could turn back the clock, I would have booted her ass curbside and the only one feeling like an ass would be you." Sookie crossed her hands over her chest. She shot daggers at him with her eyes. "I hate you so much right now."

"I know." Eric stated. "Somewhere in this dead heart of mine, I have always known."

"Eric..." Sookie began but stopped when he was in front of her placing a finger gently over her lips.

"I fucked up Sookie. For that I am sorry." Eric used his finger to trace over her lips trying to remember every crease in them. "I made a bad decision. I am also sorry that the girl I fell in love with is no longer in front of me. In your eyes I killed her. I only wanted to remind you of her zest for life and her loving nature. I so wanted to be a part of it." Eric bent down and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "Goodbye my lover."

AN/ I am sure some of you are finding holes or are still wondering WTF but I hope I answered some of your questions.

This story has gone so far from where I originally wanted it too. Its amazing how that happens. I really wish though that I would have kept with my original idea and made Amelia's spell turn Eric into a pimp...lmao. Maybe I'll do that next.