AN/ Let me say that I wrote this 2 days ago while under the influence of corona...lol. It has taken me this long to get brave enough to post it. I go into this knowing that some of you are not going to be pleased and are going to wonder what in the hell else I have been hitting? This story has gotten so far off from where I wanted it to go. I blame my muse that took a light, suppose to be sex filled romp and turned it into a angsty story. I will be changing the genre...and praying that I can get this story back.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

"Eric..I didn't mean that." Sookie whispered to an empty room. Eric had left as the last word had left his lips. She could still taste their goodbye and it was a bitter, unsavory flavor of devastation. She didn't want things to end this way with him. She didn't hate him. Why had she said that? She was angry with him. He had manipulated her but hate him, she didn't know if that would ever be possible.

Sookie grabbed her bag and trudged up to the first floor. She had no clue where he had gone but she couldn't sense him here. It was like he had vanished and he had taken her heart with him. She felt empty inside. A shelled out vacant mess that would never be whole again. She had trusted him and he had played her. The fact that he had done it to make her see her love for him, was even worse. It was one of the things that she hated about vampires. Their way of twisting situations to benefit their wants and desires.

A small voice inside reminded her that she had in fact done the same. True she might not have gone the route that Eric did but she did try and force his hand by casting a spell. How had they both come this far that they would rather manipulate one another then talk?

"Guess you won't be needing my latest gift Sookie-Cat?" Pam was leaning against the archway leading into the dining room. Why Eric had one was beyond her. "And I was going to have so much fun watching your face when you opened it. Must you ruin everything Sookie?"

"You know me Pam. Always the buzz kill." Sookie dropped her bag on the floor and flopped onto the couch. "So I know Eric's reasons but what were yours Pam?"

"Oh I just enjoy fucking with you Sookie." Pam examined her nails then gave a dismissive wave of her hand to Sookie."You do make it so easy."

"Here I was being accused of acting like a child and hearing Its not time for fun and games, while you and Eric were having one good laugh at my expense." Sookie picked up a pillow and held it close to her chest. She could smell him on it. Everywhere she looked she saw Eric, now his scent was burning into her.

"Sookie, Sookie, Sookie." Pam's heals could be heard clipping along the floors as she approached Sookie. She leaned down and placed her hands on either side of Sookie's shoulders forcing her to lean back. "He never laughed. I did. Yes, I laughed my delectable vampire ass off."

"You are a heartless bitch Pam." Sookie sneered at her. "So you got off on helping an already bad situation get worse?"

"I'm hurt that you would think I am heartless Sookie. Don't kid yourself. Just because this heart doesn't beat," Pam placed a hand on her chest and gave a small thump, "doesn't mean that I don't feel. I feel more then you do. I put Eric first. I love him. I have never hurt him. Can you, the most humane Sookie Stackhouse say the same?"

"I have never hurt Eric."

"Thats right because dead things have no feelings, right Sookie?" Pam said inches from Sookie's face. "How stupid of me to forget."

"I never said that Pam. I just meant..."

"Save it you no good for nothing blood bag. The worse thing that Eric ever did was lay eyes on you. I told you once that you would be the death of him. I will not let that happen. He and I both thought more of you then this. Never had I met a more radiating human then you. You were goodness personified. You almost made me sick you were so sweet. Then you had a bad run which was not your fault. No one blames you for any of it. What I blame you for is making a great man weak and foolish. He would have loved you until your body turned old and wrinkly and faded into ash. He would have stood beside you no matter what and all he wanted was your love and devotion in return. He didn't even make you bend to his will as any other vampire would. Ask yourself this Sookie, would Bill have let you live as you have if he had completed a bond with you?"

"I don't know." Sookie got up from the couch and grabbed her bag. She picked up the land line and started to dial a number. She needed to get out of here, away from Pam. She didn't need a ride home with her. She wasn't guaranteed that she would make it home in one piece. "I don't think on Bill anymore."

Pam snatched the phone and crushed it in her palm. "Darling don't play the fool. You think of him often. Every time Eric calls you his or he makes love to you or tells you of his feelings. You think of Bill and how he hurt you and used you." Pam brushed the phone pieces from her hands then smoothed down her skirt. "I will answer my question, seeing as how you won't. The answer is no. Bill would have never let you have your independence the way Eric has. He would have never tolerated you living alone and working at Merlotte's. He sure as shit would not have allowed you the option of remaining human."

Sookie shut her eyes and placed her hands over her ears trying to block out Pam. She didn't want to hear this shit. She didn't know anything. She didn't treat Eric like that. She showed him she loved him...right? Then why the mess you are in Sookie, that little voice tried to say again. She really wanted to smoother that bitch.

Pam forced her hands away from her ears. "Very mature Sookie. There you go hiding again. I use to have such high hopes for you." Pam slung Sookie's hands away from her. "You don't deserve him."

"I don't deserve him? Pahlease." Sookie advanced on Pam who was looking highly amused. As she should be what the hell could Sookie do to her? "A man that instead of talking to me tricked me into believing that he couldn't remember me. He manipulated me just as badly as Bill did."

Crack. Sookie stumbled back at the force of the blow that she received from Pam. "Some people might have a conscious about knocking you off that high horse Sookie but I don't. Eric tried to talk to you. He has given you everything that a man possibly could and yet you refuse his love. He would be better off without you and you with him. If you are going to go through your short years as a human and never live it, better you had died in the fae war. You were given a second chance Sookie or more like an eighth and yet you remain stubborn as ever. How many more chances do you think you will get?"

Sookie blotted the corner of her mouth and wiped the blood that had formed on her pants. " I live my life Pam. EVERY FUCKING DAY! And don't you dare bring up the fae war to me. I was there. You have no fucking clue."

"Thats where you are wrong Sookie. I know. I felt it through Eric. His pain and his suffering almost knocked me unconscious. What was worse though was what he felt when you blamed him for not coming." Pam's eyes bled with red tears. "You have hurt him in ways that I never thought possible."

"You guys think you are so justified in everything you do. If he had truly wanted to come to me, he would have." Sookie tried to suck air into her lungs. She felt as if she couldn't breathe. There was no air left. She was withering away inside and no one could see it. "I was there Pam. I was the one being tortured and he never came to my because his vampire bullshit politics wouldn't allow for it."

"He did the best he could in the situation Sookie. If he had disregarded De Castro, what do you think would have happened? They would have killed him. Before you go saying that he could have tried, let me just say no he could not. He gave you his strength. He suffered with you and prayed that you would make it through."

"It wasn't enough." Sookie yelled. Why hadn't he done more. Why hadn't he helped her as she lay there suffering?

"It was. You are just too stupid to see it." Pam tossed her hands up in the air. "You want it all. His love and his sacrifice, yet you give nothing back. I said it before and I will say it again, you don't deserve him. You knew what you were getting into and you still chose to head into this world. No one forced you Sookie. So quit playing the victim. Own up to your own mistakes and stop blaming everyone else. Especially Eric."

" I don't blame him. I just wish all of this were different."

"Well suck it up Sookie. This is your life. You aren't perfect and neither is anyone else. If you want the cookie cutter world then I highly suggest that you find a new life. Cause in the supe world you are fresh meat without Eric. Everyone knows who you are now and they will come after you."

"So you are telling me unless I stay with Eric, I'll be forced to do what they want. Never live for me? I refuse to accept that."

"No. Thats not what I am saying but if I were you, I would work my ass off to stay with the man that loves me and would risk all to protect me. That's me though. You, I can't speak for. You seem to be a lot more stupid then I ever gave you credit for."

" Thanks for that Pam. I feel so much better now." Sookie just couldn't win. There were nothing she could say that would make Pam see her point. Eric was her maker and would never do wrong in her eye. "Now would you please let me call for a ride home?"

"No. I'll take you Sookie. I will do this last thing for Eric pertaining to you and then I hope we are done with you forever." Pam placed her hand on Sookie's back and shoved her towards the back door. Sookie cast a glance around the house wondering if this was the last time that she would ever grace Eric's home. She couldn't stop the tears as they started to fall.