AN/ I will be honest with y'all. I am really not happy with this story anymore and it is taking a lot of effort to contiue writing it. A lot of people have very strong opinions on where this little fic should go, I for one am starting to loose my focus. Let me just say that I will finish it but some of the zest has gone out of it for me. There is nothing worse to me then to read a story that an author started, then neglected to finish. I will not do that but I am warning you now it might not play out the way some of you want it too. I really am trying to keep everyone, including me happy with BBVOM but I am a realist and know that isn't going to happen...lol. Thanks again for all of your reviews.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Really would CH write this shit?
Sookie ran upstairs and grabbed her cell phone. She knew that Eric would still be sleeping but she wanted to let him know that she wanted to talk to him. She typed out "We need to talk." and pressed send. Mssg failed. She tried three more times with the same results. Her reception was good in the house so she really didn't know what the problem was.
She typed out a text to Amelia to see if there was a problem with her phone. She heard Amelia's text alert ring and knew that wasn't the problem. With a last attempt she pressed 1 and waited for his phone to ring. She would leave a voice mail instead. "This number has been disconnected. If you feel you have reached this number in error... blah, blah, blah." He changed his fucking number. Son of a bitch!
"Ames he changed his number. What the fuck?" Sookie tossed the cell phone on the counter. "So what now he isn't going to take my calls?"
"Sookie, I'm sure he is just upset right now. Don't worry about it." Amelia patted her on the back. "Its not like he can hide Fangtasia or his house."
"True. I just wanted to let him know that we need to talk. I was hoping he wasn't gonna be difficult about it. Too much to ask for, I guess." Sookie looked over at her phone. There went that bright idea.
"You two have a lot to work through Sookie. Maybe you both just need a little time." Amelia cleaned the brunch plates up from the table and started some dish water. "I know you finally realize how much you love him but I think you should wait on this a bit. Do you even know what you are going to do?"
"I haven't really thought about it Ames. I just know that I can't loose him. As much as I am hurt by what he did, I don't want us to be over. I was wrong too. I need him to know that." Sookie took the rinsed dish from Amelia and started drying. "If I don't move on this now, I might loose him forever."
"Honey I understand I do but it might be too soon." Amelia turned to hand Sookie a clean cup. Sookie let it slip through her fingers, sending tiny shards of broken glass all around.
"What the fuck Amelia?" Sookie turned on her. Her face lit with anger. "You were the one setting all this shit in motion. Trying to get me to admit what I feel. Now you want me to wait? Are y'all still fucking with me? What about the go Sookie you can do it. Stop fucking with my head!" Sookie threw her hand out and cleared the rack of the cleaned dishes.
"Alright Sybil. First off, I did set this shit in motion. I wanted you to get that stick out of your ass and see what you had. I thought you did. I can tell now that I was wrong. All you have done is realized that you want him. I wonder though Sookie do you really love him? Do you even fucking know what love is? He changed his fucking number...genius, he did it because guess what you also hurt him. This is not going to be easy. He is not going to come running back to you. You are going to have to work for it Sookie. Can you do that? Can you be the one that gives it your all this time? Cause if not then don't even fucking bother." Amelia went to the closet and got out the broom and dust pan. She began sweeping up the mess Sookie had made. Disgust evident on her face.
"God dammit!" Sookie screamed. She never took the lords name in vein and felt guilty as hell when she let the usually forbidden work slip off her tongue. "I love him Amelia. Fangs and all. I know what love is. I feel it every time I look into his eyes or kiss his lips. Every time he is around my heart swells with the love I have for him."
"Just when you see him Sookie?" Amelia dumped the contents of the pan into the trash can. "Or do you feel it when he is away? Do you have that blind need to be with him no matter what. The urge to throw caution to the wind and immerse yourself so far into him that you don't know were he starts and you begin?"
"Thats possession Amelia, not love. I am willing to give myself to Eric and only him but I will never let myself go so far with any man that I don't know who I am anymore." Sookie let out a frustrated sigh. "Why can't any of y'all understand that?"
"No one is asking you not to Sookie. Thats why I asked if you had the urge." Amelia shook her head at Sookie in sympathy. "I don't think you have quiet thought this through yet. You can't go running to him and expecting everything to be hunky dorey. It ain't happening girl."
"Prey tell how are you the expert on this Amelia? When have you ever loved someone like that? You love Jason that way?" Sookie smirked at her.
"You are a grade A bitch Sookie. I love you but you are." Amelia set the broom and pan back in the closet, slamming the door shut. "I loved Trey that way. I would give anything to have him back to tell him just how much I love him...but I can't. He's gone Sookie. Dead. I will never have that kind of chance again. As far as Jason goes, I think I do love him. Its not the same but it could be. One day."
"You know what Amelia, I am sorry that he is gone. I am sorry that you can't tell him you love him. I am." Sookie snatched her car keys off the holder by the back door. " I am even sorry that I asked you to come over for help. You helping me is what got me into this mess to begin with."
"Ah. So here it is. Go ahead Sookie. Bring it on." Amelia waved a hand at her. "Let me here what a manipulative bitch I am. What a sorry friend. How could I have done that? Come on I am waiting."
"Yes Amelia you are. A real friend would have sat me down and talked to me. No matter what. She would have pointed out how wrong I was being and how stupid I was acting. SHE would have let me know that I was going to loose the man I loved if I didn't get my ass in gear. NEVER would a real friend have went behind my back and plotted to bring me down to my knees."
"Thought you didn't hate me Sookie. I thought things were okay." Amelia's eyes welled up with tears. "I am sorry, you know?"
"Sorry is as sorry does." Sookie said fighting her own tears. She didn't want to fight with Amelia. She was stupid to think for a minute that she was past their little game. She was mad as hell. Even realizing how wrong she had been didn't change that. If she got Eric back, they were going to have some major trust issues to work through..but she was willing to try. "And I don't hate you, I just don't really like you at the moment." Sookie felt the sad smile cross her lips. When had life become so frigging complicated?
"I don't like either one of us at the minute. We are very stupid bitches." Amelia wiped a fallen tear off of her cheek with a joyless chuckle. "You are right Sookie. I should have sat you down and talked to you. I know you better then most and know the hell you have been through in the past. I should have at least tried. Instead I took it upon myself to meddle."
"You weren't alone. Eric was right there with you. And Pam."
"So they were. Eric really wanted nothing to do with it. I want you to know that." Amelia picked up her purse and car keys. "It took a lot of convincing to make him go along with it."
"How did you convince him?" Sookie needed to know what made Eric take such a drastic decision. Never in the history of them being together had Eric used such means against her. He could have used the bond against her. He could have talked to her. So many things. Not this.
"Uhm..I don't want to tell you Sookie." Amelia walked towards her friend. She knew that this would be the end of her and Sookie. Probably her and Jason. She was so screwed. "Its only going to cause more pain. Don't you want to move past that?"
"I do but before that, I want everything out in the open." Sookie had a feeling in the pit of her stomach that what she was going to hear next was going to kill her on a whole knew level. But she had to know. There was no moving forward until she understood what she was up against. "Tell me."
"I am sorry Sookie. I was only trying to help." Amelia cleared her throat and braced herself for Sookie's reaction. "I told him that the bond would slip and he would loose you if you couldn't admit your love. I convinced him, because the bond was formed with a ceremonial knife and it was so strong, it was tied into true feelings that without you both recognizing your love, it would cancel out leaving you defenseless and him unable to protect you." Amelia broke off into sobs.
"So much for no more surprises. Finish Amelia." Sookie's chest was heaving with unspent angry. She could feel her hands shaking as she clinched them.
"I put a lessening spell on the bond. I wanted him to believe me." Amelia sobbed quietly. "It seemed like the perfect idea at the time and the bond was never really gone. Every time he would shut it down, some of it would lesson but not the essential spark. Not what binds you two. He just didn't know that. He couldn't always feel you. Unless you really wanted him too."
"I am going to fucking kill you. How could you?" Sookie screamed advancing on Amelia. "So not only did you fuck with my head but Eric's too. I can only imagine what you said to Pam."
"Wait." Amelia stuck her hand out to block Sookie. "You have always said that the bond made you feel what you did for Eric, that you don't trust it. So really what was the harm to you? You still feel the same."
"You bitch. Maybe you helped open my eyes to the fact that I love Eric and I do Amelia, with or without the bond but you had no right to toy with us that way. When Eric finds out, he will kill you." Sookie pointed her finger in Amelia's face. She was trying to hold herself back from knocking her flat on her ass. "The one thing that would make Eric manipulate me is if he thought I was in trouble and he was doing it for our own good."
"I know." Amelia dropped her head, shielding her face. "I am so very sorry." She looked up at Sookie with tears free failing from her face.
"That was all it took to convince him, was the bond? I don't understand." Sookie clinched her keys in her hands.
"Yes Sookie when you had the man so convinced that you were only with him for that. It was easy for him to believe. Or have you forgotten all the ways you have hurt him?" Amelia looked up at her, her lips trembling."I still think you should wait Sookie. Give him a few days. Give yourself some time to work through everything that has happened."
"Don't ever try to give me advice again Amelia." Sookie reared back and let her fist fly, catching Amelia in the mouth and sending her flying. She did have a bit of Eric's blood left in her and it showed as Amelia skidded across the kitchen floor on her ass. She felt some satisfaction when Amelia looked up, her mouth was already swelling, blood trickling from her lips. " I don't know what you are playing at now but I sure as shit, am not listening to you. Get your stuff out of my house. I want my keys back and you better stay the fuck away from my brother. He already had one lying, scheming manipulative bitch in his life and you aren't going to be the next."
"Sookie please." Amelia curled up in a ball, crying her heart out on the floor. "Please forgive me. I was only trying to help."
"Don't make me laugh Amelia. What you did was so far from help its insane. Someone really needs to revoke your witch card. I wonder how the coven would feel about your latest fiasco?" Sookie curled up her lip at her. She regretted the day she had ever met her. "Perhaps we should find out? I think they will go easier on you then Eric will."
Sookie turned and walked out the door without a backwards glance. She needed to get to Eric and work this mess out. There were so many things stacked against them now that she didn't now how they would do it. She only knew that she had to try.
He had given up on her the last time he had seen her. Even then he had tried to get her to admit how she felt and she had refused. So enraged by his trickery that she had failed to see that something more was going on. God she had told him that she hated him. He must have felt that they never had chance. She couldn't help but wonder now, if they did?
She played over their last conversation on the drive to Shreveport. They had said so many hurtful things to one another. She had blamed him for tricking her and he had blamed her for not loving him enough.
Is that how Eric really thought she felt about him? That he was a monster? She kept him in Bill's shadow? Why had he said that he felt he had no other choice then to trick her? Was he so convinced that she wouldn't admit she loved him otherwise? She hadn't even then. If there was one thing she had discovered in this whole ordeal, it was that her and Eric had a lot of cargo to unpack if they were ever going to be together.
What of Pam? Was that how she saw Sookie? As a selfish brat who had no regard for her master? God there was so much bullshit to work with, she just prayed she had the strength and the opportunity.
She made good time to Shreveport. Before she knew it she was crossing through the entrance to Eric's gated community. It was still early for him but when he got up, she planned on being there waiting for him. How many times had he asked her to do that in the past and she didn't even give him that? So stupid Sookie.
All kinds of thoughts ran threw her mind as she pulled into his driveway. What a cluster fuck this whole situation was, how much in this instance she wanted to throttle Amelia, how she wanted her and Eric to start fresh. So many things. None of which mattered when she looked at the house. It looked vacant. The curtains that had been hanging their where gone and it was dark inside.
She leapt out of the car and ran to the front door, punching the code into the key pad. Access denied, flashed across the display. She looked through a window and saw that the house was in fact empty. Everything she wanted was no longer here. Eric was gone and she had no clue where to find him.
With a heavy heart, she returned to the car. She had one other place that she could try. The one place that she was warned to stay away from. Fangtasia. She would go there and wait. It was worth incurring Pam's wrath if she could just talk to Eric. She wasn't going to let anything stand in the way. Including her.