Author's Note: Written for and archived in LJ community "fanfic50" under prompt #14: Life. It's a tag for "Line in the Sand," when Sam said her password for her 'goodbye' letters was 'Fishing.' I just wanted to explore the meaning of her password, because there are so many meanings in such a seemingly simple word.

Spoilers: Threads, Line in the Sand

"I know this is none of my business, but I have to ask." Cameron said. Sam nodded giving him permission.

"Fishing?"

Sam blushed, but her smile dimmed slightly. He may not know the significance there, but she knew and couldn't help but react. She couldn't believe she kept that password. It was the night of Janet's memorial and she was terribly depressed. She knew Janet would always be remembered, but it also dawned on her that her life was fragile, and that it could be cruelly shattered at any moment. And remembering the way Janet had to go made her realize that she may not have any time at all to say her goodbyes. In truth, she should've written those letters as soon as she set foot on base, but she didn't know then. And her excuse had always been never having time. There really was none.
Now, her letters, untouched since a few years back, came to haunt her again.

"Sam." Cameron said, bringing her out of thoughts. "Are you okay?"

Sam shook her head to clear it, "Oh yea, I'm fine. And um, what was your question?"

"Fishing?"

"Oh yea. Genera O'Neill brought me to his cabin one time, and I guess fishing has been my new hobby since." Sam answered with a hint of sarcasm and faked a smile, but Cameron saw right past it.

"There's got to be more. No one likes fishing that much."

"Jack does." Sam answered while absentmindedly fingering the macaroons in the bag.

Cameron looked at Sam, a look of interrogation that only Sam felt, because she had known those looks and done it herself. At first, she used the password, because no one would ever think of it. Then, she kept it because she finally went fishing with Jack, and she knew after the whole Pete incident that those feelings were never going to go away. They couldn't do anything about it, but that was the story of her life.

"Well, I told you you would have to change that password. I guess you're going to have to find another hobby." Cameron said, switching the subject a little.

"Yeah, I guess." Sam answered, again faking a smile. She had done that so many times since joining SG-1 that she wondered if her real smile was lost.

"I guess macaroons won't be your first choice...Not that that's a hobby" Cameron joked.

Sam grinned and shook her head. Cameron left her soon after making sure she was okay and didn't need anything, leaving Sam to her thoughts.

Cassie,
I'm sorry I haven't been a very good mother…
Daniel,
I just want you to know that you've changed my life in so many ways, and don't ever forget that you've made a difference…
Teal'c,
you are my literal rock, I could've learned so much from you, and I did…
Cameron,
thanks for bringing the band back together if only for a short while. I'm not sure how long it was before our luck ran out…
Jack,
I think it goes without saying that this is going to be one of the hardest 'reports' I'll ever have to write. Speaking from the dead, I suppose. You always had a strange sense of humor…

Sam awoke from her restless dreaming. She lay in the infirmary with a slight headache. She realized how much work she had to get back to after recovering. If only they let her do it while she was sitting in the infirmary. She sighed and thought back to the letters. She wasn't about to change the password, and she wasn't about to discard those letters either. She trusted Cameron, he knew it. This time, she was the one close to death, and she was about to give up. The letters gave her an easy way out, knowing that it might hurt less for those who received a goodbye. She realized though, that despite saying her goodbyes, nothing was ever that simple or easy. Life was not simple or easy, but she knew that now.

Sam went back to sleep having nothing else to do, and the sooner she recovered, the sooner she could back to her life.