Chapter 11 – Insomnia

He helped me down the cherry tree and stretched out to me for a moment, then pulled back.

I had a sudden urge to throw regret to the side and throw myself at him, but no. I couldn't. I waved to him and walked down the street, away from his house. I shuddered and pulled up my hoodie. Wind was coming towards me rapidly and I was beginning to get cold. The weather changes drove me insane. I made my way to the bus stop and waited, buying a cup of coffee in the nearest Starbucks. I warned my hands against the cup, the liquids burning my throat whenever I brought it up to my lips.

Tomorrow is school! I thought solemnly. I really, for once, did not have a head to learn stuff with. It was clogged with absolutely pointless things that I really did not want to think about at the moment.

I still wouldn't understand who would kill Zexion. Did he really get that snobby that others clearly began to hate him? Hate him so much they could kill?

I tired to think of people's names. Nothing smart came to mind. I gripped my coffee in my hand and bit my lip nervously wondering. The only person I could think of would be...

The idea traveled off my mind quickly. But then again... I thought to myself. Axel does make a big deal out of these things. Raising my cup to my lips, I took a long, unsatisfied sip.

I dropped on my bed quickly, unzipping my hoodie and throwing it across the room. I buried my head in my pillows and regained my breath, slowly drifting off to sleep.

A policeman came up to the boy, violently shaking him.

"Kid what happened?" he asked in a serious tone.

The boy whimpered. His wide green eyes looking over at the burnt car and then at the policeman.

"Mama...papa..." he tried to explain, but the policeman frowned at him. The kid's eyes began watering and the policeman picked him up and carried him over to the ambulance.

The boy sat there in shock and a few other men ran up to the car, taking out...what it seemed like, two bodies. The man's glasses were nothing but a metallic frame and the woman froze in what seemed to be a position of protection. It smelled like burnt flesh and the kid closed his eyes.

The policeman looked around in the car and found something. IT looked like a purse and the policeman opened it to find the contents miraculously stayed undamaged. He opened up a passport and gave it to his colleague.

The man looked at the picture and then at the shaking kid and picked up the phone.

I woke up screaming, holding my head tightly, my breath hitched in my throat and I found myself falling to the floor. I wrapped myself in my robe and watched the phone, though it didn't move. Wait until October. I reminded myself and closed my eyes. I'm not going to sleep anymore. I promised myself and went to the kitchen.

I turned on the lights and turned on my teapot, grabbing a book and sitting by the table. Suddenly, I realized my house smelt of roses. I inhaled and sighed, looking down.

His mouth was so warm and tasted like strawberries. When his body pinned mine against the wall I shivered. His hair was soft, his lips were too and those blue, blue eyes filled my hunger and want and the way he touches me...

I shook my head quickly in fear.

"I can't," I begged myself. "I can't!"

The reassuming feeling never left, my heart beat in my throat as I wanted desperately to reach out for the phone and dial his number and say, 'The thing is of, I want to be with you.'

No. I told myself, frowning deeply. I want to wait until it's perfect.

–

Xigbar caught my bus and got on it, running up to me as if he knew what bus I was in and the exact location I was standing in.

"Did you hear?" he asked, huffing and puffing. "They're going to have a ceremony for Zexion today.

I raised my eyebrows, "Well it's no surprise."

He nodded in agreement and stood next o me, whistling something. "So..how are you?"

"Bad." I didn't have to lie.

"Eh, figured as much. You look like you haven't slept tonight."

I answered with silence.

He looked at me in concern, "Insomnia again?"

"Something like that." I nodded and he frowned.

"You might want to see a doctor. This hasn't happened in a while..."

"I'm fine." I reassured, my eyes automatically rolling.

He looked at me in concern still, then shrugged and watched the buildings more in the window.

? that I was no longer the concern, I drifted off to my own world.

The police were still looking for the someone whom could have killed Zexion.

Axel was on the top of my list. Even though I didn't understand why it was Zexion by my house? We haven't spoken in such a long time...

Then again, I thought to myself, he may just have been passing by.

Xigbar and I got off the bus, me wobbling slightly by his side.

With a worried glance in my direction, he took me by the arm. I tried to pull away in confusion and he rolled his eyes.

"Stop being a robot and let me help."

I frowned, "But I don't need he-" I began, but he shook his head and began dragging me off to the school entrance. I had no other choice but flail after him, considering he was stronger and taller than me.

As we walked into the school I looked around, my vision blurring slightly at everything – the faces, the posters, walls, signs, and just about anything within my radius. Once Xaldin got caught up with us he patted me on the back, "What's wrong, Vex?" he asked with a concerned face. I just looked at him wit a grin, "I just haven't been getting much sleep.."

"Again?" he gave me a frown and I groaned, "I heard it all from Xigbar. It's not my fault okay? I'll get me something prescribed soon."

About thirty minutes of arguing followed until they just let it go and walked down the hallway with me to sit in our usual spot, which was right by the library. Xigbar being himself, flailed off to hanging out with is boyfriend once Demyx showed up in the hallway. Xaldin and I were left alone, sitting there awkwardly. I saw the pink haired man that has been haunting my brain for the last few weeks and looked away quickly, chewing on my lip. Xaldin saw the gesture and turned to see who I was glaring at, before sighing and looking over at me again. "Would you like to go to the library?" he asked, and I quickly agreed, so we stood up and walked the few steps that got us into the giant, silent room.

We walked in between book rows, catching ourselves on looking at the stupidest things ever. Once we came up to a bookshelf that we both found something interesting in, I grabbed a Law of Physics book and flipped through it in interest. Xaldin poked my shoulder. "Whats up?" I asked, looking up at him. He showed me a book with a dark cover that read something about vampires. "How does this look?" he asked.

I crunched my face, "Looks gay." I answered, before putting the Law of Physics back on the shelf. "Okay." he grinned at me, taking the book In his hands. "I'll get it then." With that I rolled my eyes and began walking off to the front of the library. He followed shortly after.

I stared at the desk dumbfoundedly as Xaldin checked out his book and motioned for me to come out, which I did rather quickly. We sat back down where we were and mr. Reed stuck his nose in the book. I sighed and leaned back, hitting my had on the wall, not really wanting to do anything with letters at the moment.

My eyes lingered to the same persona I ran from only a few minutes ago, and I saw that his eyes were looking back. I sat up quickly and cleared my throat. He raised an eyebrow, before waving slightly and smirking at me with that... grin. That I adored. As much as I hated to admit that, I did adore it, and gave a retarded looking half smile back, before waving too. God, I wanted to kil myself at the moment. Watching how all the girls lined up to just say one word to him, and yet I was the only one he laid his eyes on and I didn't even answer him properly. Was I stupid?

Not technically, no, I wasn't. I was just nervous – nervous, that our relationship would never be normal, for I, for some reason, half blamed myself for Zexon's death. After all, it was in front of my house.

Maybe I was putting too much thought into the murder, but a murder is a murder, and especially since I saw the dead body with my own eyes, I couldn't get it out of my head. Every single day as I woke up, I saw that threatening image, instead of that wonderful, angelic and masculine face that I was supposed to be looking at, that made me feel all tingly inside and made me want to smile the widest smile ever.

Yet I couldn't, - couldn't forget what it was like to smell the blood in the air, to see his shocked eyes, and to watch the blood seep out of his body and onto that angelic man's fingers.

And then that dream that shook me again and again every few months... It seemed like nothing in this world was letting me live and love.

Love? Did I really just say that? Nevertheless, whatever my feelings may be, I will keep them inside, until the time is right. And until he proves to me, that is only me he wants.

Because after all, that is all I actually really wanted to understand.

Sorry guys – I did feel like this was a filler chapter, but I had to clear up what was going in our little protagonist's head, yeah?

So there you go. XD I'll be updating much more frequently, or my muse visited me. I think I'll also dedicate this chapter to my Marluxia, who typed all of the previous chapters up which were just sitting in a notebook and glaring at me.

Until next time! Reviews make me dance! Love you all!