Hello! I'm back with another update! This chapter isn't as long as the last one, but it's full of fanservice, so hopefully that should tide you over until next week :) I'm really ill at the moment so my brain couldn't churn out much more than this anyway, it hurts too much to think :(
The song for this chapter is 'How Does It Feel' by Sugarcult.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy. This makes me cry.

Kiss and I Will Surrender

Eight

How Does It Feel

The kissing game continued, and more alcohol was consumed. But try as he might, Roxas could not bring himself to look Sora in the eye. It was as though their gazes were two north poles of a magnet, and kept deflecting from one another every time they got too close.

What the hell was I thinking? The blonde musician thought as laughter rang out all around him, because Axel and Reno had been forced to play the pocky game with each other. Watching as the two red heads looked at each other in horror whilst they nibbled on either end of the strawberry sweet; Roxas felt a blush rushing to his cheeks as he recalled his kiss with Sora. He had only meant to give the brunette a swift peck on the lips, but something had held him there, as though magnetised. The feeling of his lips gliding so effortlessly against Sora's, the sound of the brunette's quickened, heated breathing, the way Sora had laced his fingers into Roxas's hair... all of it had contributed to a lust induced haze that had clouded Roxas's judgement and spurred him on. He shifted uncomfortably on the floor as he realised that his arousal was becoming visible, and the memory of how their gasps had intermingled when the kiss turned open-mouthed was not helping him in his predicament.

But that problem was quickly solved, when Cloud spun the bottle and it landed on him. Arousal - gone.

Both brothers paled instantly, their sapphire eyes widening in horror as Zack exploded with laughter and fell backwards, his head narrowly missing the leg of the table. Reno and Axel snickered, seeing it as compensation for their having to play the pocky game with each other.

"Hell no," the blondes said in unison, which only made more people start to laugh. Roxas's expression of absolute mortification was a sight to behold, and the disgusted, fight-or-flight predicament displayed on Cloud's face was equally entertaining.

"So you're forfeiting then, Cloud?" Xion asked, snickering evilly as she waved the box of pocky at him. The perfectly sculpted blonde gave her a condescending look, as if to say, Was there really any doubt?

"Okay then, so I get to choose someone else for you to play the pocky game with!" Xion cried happily, casting her indigo eyes around the circle, looking for a suitable victim. Her eyes fell on the brunette with the spiky hair, who was casting nervous, saddened glances at Roxas and fidgeting uncomfortably next to Kairi.

"I pick Sora," she cackled, causing Cloud, Roxas and Sora to stare at her with expressions that were a mixture of incredulity, confusion and fear. She flashed an evil grin at the three of them and produced a pocky stick from the packet. "Eat up boys!"

Roxas could only watch as Sora and his brother reluctantly moved to the centre of the circle and took the sweet from Xion. After a few seconds of nervous speculation of the stick, and awkward, hesitant decisions as to who should bite which end, Cloud held up the stick and gently bit down, whilst Sora's teeth secured onto the other end.

It was strangely alluring, but at the same time slightly disturbing, watching as his crush and his brother started to hesitantly nibble their way to the middle of the sweet, eyes fixed on each other warily as if trying to communicate telepathically for one to go faster and finish the sweet before they had to meet in the middle. But they both stayed at the same pace, their eyes becoming more and more frantic-stricken as they reached the centre. Cloud paused, millimetres from Sora's mouth, before wincing, closing his eyes and taking a final bite of the pocky, thus pressing their lips firmly together.

Roxas squeaked (yes, squeaked) and brought his hands over his eyes, but continued to peek through the gaps in his fingers when Cloud and Sora did not swiftly break apart and instead continued to kiss. The older, more dominant blonde growled and pressed his lips more forcefully against Sora's, causing the boy to gasp and open his mouth. People were gaping, their mouths hanging open, at the incredibly sensual sight of the gorgeous blonde taking control over the younger, cute brunette puppy. Xion was looking smug, pleased that her matching skills were producing such great results.

A little whine escaped Sora's throat and spurred Cloud on further; he caught the boy's lower lip none-too-gently between his teeth and nibbled on it, his hands coming up to fist themselves in the brown spikes. Sora's hands were tracing Cloud's chest with trembling fingers; the boy still hadn't closed his eyes and he was looking at Cloud with utter bewilderment, as if wondering why on earth the man was increasing the intensity of the kiss, and at the same time wondering why he was encouraging it.

All the time, Roxas stared through his fingers, finding himself entranced by the sight of Sora being dominated so easily, the way his lips moved so naturally as he kissed Cloud. Whenever Sora let out a little noise of surprise or enjoyment, Roxas felt his leather pants becoming uncomfortably tight.

The two broke apart after a few moments which had seemed like hours, panting softly and their faces immediately becoming red and flushed. Some of the other people in the circle had dry mouths from gaping; Marluxia appeared to have died and gone to heaven, his eyes were practically rolling in their sockets.

"Well..." Zack said loudly, breaking the silence. "That was... interesting." Cloud and Sora were back in their seats quicker than a rabbit in its warren, and both simultaneously started downing their drinks, trying to drown away their feelings of absolute mortification. Roxas decided he would join them and knocked back his vodka with coke in one gulp.

The game ended when Xion's final band mate arrived. Rude was a tall man with a skinhead and piercings all the way up both ears, black sunglasses obscuring his eyes even though he was indoors. He was still wearing his work uniform, a black Japanese suit which zipped up at the front, and he was carrying a briefcase in one hand, and a bag filled with more alcohol in the other.

"Rude!" Xion cried, halfway through her third kiss with Axel, who broke away a little too quickly, his face going pink. The black haired girl leapt to her feet and gave her drummer a big hug. "Ohh, you brought more vodka!" She grabbed the bag from him and skipped over to the kitchen counter to make herself another drink. Rude sat down at the table, nodding at everyone, and the circle dispersed.

Sora took this opportunity to lock himself in the bathroom for a few moments. He sat down on the edge of the bath, feeling the world swaying around him from the amount of beer he had induced, and fuzzily picked through what had happened during the kissing game. He had ended up kissing not only Roxas and Cloud, but also Kairi, Naminé and Zexion. His lips were tingling from all the encounters, but none of them had been as heated, or as heart-pounding as the ones he had shared with Roxas and Cloud. He was confused; whilst the kiss with Cloud had been exciting and almost sexual, he didn't feel attracted to him in any way. He could acknowledge that the older blonde was incredibly good looking, with his classical good looks and his fair, perfect spikes, along with those almost-too-bright eyes, but at the same time, Sora felt nothing. When he compared this with how he felt when he thought of Roxas, there was an obvious difference – his breath didn't hitch in his throat and his heart didn't go mental whenever he thought of Cloud, like it did with Roxas. His actually brain cells tended to shudder and vibrate as though they had nicotine deprivation when he thought of Roxas.

But Roxas was blatantly ignoring him now. For the entire hour that they were playing Spin the Bottle, after their kiss Roxas had not looked at Sora once, choosing to stare at his hands in his lap or the floor. He looked decidedly uncomfortable. The only relief Sora felt was that the blonde singer was not kissing his other match-ups anywhere near as passionately as he had kissed Sora.

He groaned as the world swirled around him, and stood up to bend over the sink, splashing water on his face and trying not to dry heave. He had downed about ten beers in the hour that they had been playing the game, and had also had a double shot of absinthe when he forfeited kissing Marluxia. His stomach was rumbling in warning.

"Sora?" He didn't look around as he panted heavily, trying to control his stomach. He knew the voice anyway; Roxas had just walked in. Sora vaguely thought that he had locked the door when he went to the bathroom, but that was quickly vanquished from his mind when his stomach won the battle with his mind.

He expected Roxas to turn around and leave, it wasn't the nicest scene in the world after all. What he didn't expected was for a wet flannel to be pressed to his forehead and for Roxas to start rubbing his back in soothing circles, running the tap of the sink to as to wash away what Sora threw up.

"I got the feeling this was going to happen after you stumbled off," Roxas murmured, squeezing his shoulders reassuringly as Sora trembled, his knees weakening. He leaned heavily against the sink, gasping for air as the vomiting subsided, moaning as his stomach gurgled angrily at him. He felt humiliated and embarrassed – this was not a sight he had wanted Roxas to see. But the blonde did not seem to mind in the slightest. He kept rubbing Sora's back, asking if he was alright, and talking and joking light-heartedly to lift the mood. You would not have thought that just ten minutes ago he had been astutely avoiding Sora.

Roxas left briefly, only to fetch a glass of water and Sora's toothbrush from his backpack. He sat Sora down on the closed lid of the toilet and wiped the flannel over his face, letting Sora enjoy the cool material against his skin, and then helped him take a sip of water before brushing his teeth. Sora had regained enough self control by now to do the latter task himself, and so Roxas rinsed out the sink whilst Sora freshened his breath. He was so used to this by now, being a musician who was invited to VIP parties where worse happened than some drunken vomiting, that he didn't even bat an eyelid. Sora, however, was now the one avoiding his gaze.

"Th-thanks," the brunette muttered as Roxas helped him take another sip of water. "S-sorry about that... you didn't have to..."

"What kind of friend would I be if I didn't hold your hair back while you vomited?" Roxas joked, ruffling Sora's spikes affectionately as he crouched down in front of the brunette. "Do you feel any better?"

"Mmm," Sora affirmed, rubbing his eyes with one hand. "Hungry."

Roxas chuckled. "Just sit here for a moment and I'll go grab some of those nachos I saw." He exited the room, leaving Sora alone with his decidedly more articulate thoughts for a few moments. He returned to find the brunette had stood up and was checking his outfit in the mirror, making sure there weren't any creases in his shirt or dirt on his pants.

"Didn't I tell you to sit still?" he laughed, and Sora rolled his eyes, slumping back down on the toilet as Roxas passed him a plate loaded with nachos, cocktail sausages and pineapple chunks. "I didn't get you any of the cheesy dip because I didn't think dairy would sit too well with you at the moment."

Sora grimaced at the thought of cheese and thanked Roxas, taking the plate and wolfing down his first ten nachos hungrily. Roxas sat on the edge of the bath and picked food off the plate, nibbling absent mindedly as he watched Sora eat. The brunette calmed down slightly as his initial hunger was abated, and ate in a more dignified manner.

"I'm sorry about the kiss," Sora suddenly blurted out, his nose and cheeks stained bright red. Roxas looked down at him, his face also turning red.

"No," he sighed, running his fingers through his blonde spikes agitatedly, "I'm sorry, Sora. I don't know what I was doing. I just... got caught up in the moment, I guess."

"Is that why you wouldn't look at me afterwards?" Sora asked sadly, nibbling on a sausage and staring at the tiles on the floor.

"You noticed that, huh?" Roxas mused, grabbing another nacho and biting it absently. "I'm sorry if I upset you, Sora."

"It's fine," the brunette mumbled, his eyes obscured by his bangs as he hung his head. "Can you... give me a minute?"

Thinking Sora needed the bathroom; Roxas nodded and grabbed some more nachos off the boy's plate before leaving the room, shutting the door behind him. A few seconds passed and Sora didn't move, save for a slight tremble in his joints. After a couple of moments, he leaned forward and flicked the lock shut on the door, put the paper plate on the floor, and pressed his palms to his eyes as he tried to fight the suddenly overwhelming urge to cry. A choked sob racked his throat and his sucked in a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. He had known all along that the kiss hadn't meant anything, that Roxas just didn't feel that way about him, but somehow hearing Roxas apologise had just made it so much worse. He bent over, hugging his knees and pressing his face into his legs, letting soft sobs escape every now and then.

He didn't even know why he cared. Roxas was a guy, after all, and last time Sora had checked, he himself was as straight as a ruler. So why did he feel so miserable?

It must be the alcohol, he thought, wiping his eyes and checking in the mirror to make sure it didn't look like he had been crying. I'm just overemotional with everything that has happened recently.

He emerged to find that lots of people had settled into a game of strip poker now that Rude had arrived, Roxas included. He was waved over to the table to join them, so he grabbed another beer and some more food and went to join them. 'Them' consisted of Rude, Xion, Axel, Reno, Roxas and Zack, the latter being the one with the least clothes on at that moment.

Sora didn't really know the rules of strip poker, or any kind of poker for that matter, so he just let Roxas help him as he drank and ate. At first, his luck seemed to be in, because when everyone else had removed their t-shirts (and Zack was down to his underwear, he really was an awful player), Sora was still fully clothed. The sight of Roxas without a top on was both incredible and nerve racking, and also slightly saddening at the same time, because the bruises on his ribs were still an angry violet and his skin looked deathly pale. He was frequently distracted from these facts though by the toned muscles and smooth, velvety looking skin.

But suddenly, Sora's luck went down the drain. He wasn't sure if Roxas was doing it intentionally all of a sudden, but he seemed to making very bad choices for Sora, and soon enough, the brunette was down to his blue boxers like Zack, whilst everyone else was still only topless. Xion was showing off her black bra proudly, claiming she had worn it specifically for strip poker. Sora noticed Axel's gaze in particular kept drifting to her cleavage, which although not particularly impressive was still noticeable in the lewd bra.

Roxas was enjoying himself immensely. The sight of Sora in nothing but a pair of loose blue boxers that hung off his defined hips and revealed copious amounts of toned, tanned thigh was truly spectacular. He was indeed making Sora lose on purpose, though he hadn't done it consciously at first. Although his mind was still nagging at him, saying it was improper and he didn't like men in the slightest, he was enjoying the view too much to listen to reason. The tanned skin of Sora's neck look particularly inviting, and he found himself unable to resist touching it, leaning in to whisper something in the brunette's ear as an excuse.

Xion watched the boys with amusement as clothes were removed and dropped in the pile at the end of the table. If she hadn't known better, she would have said that they were a couple, and Roxas was teasing Sora before a night of unbridled passion. But the frustrated, confused look in Sora's eyes spoke volumes about their relationship, as did the slightly wistful expression of Roxas. Xion was very good at reading people, and she had come to this conclusion about the two incredibly similar boys: They both wanted each other, but were in serious denial and were merely entertaining thoughts of each other now because they thought it was thanks to the alcohol in their systems. But Xion hadn't missed the electric tension that was almost visible between the two of them, nor the way they would cast furtive glances at each other and lick their lips. They quite plainly wanted each other, and she had decided that she was going to help.

"Sora, if you lose another round, you have to play the pocky game with Roxas," she announced coolly, earning stares from two sets of round blue eyes. Although Roxas looked just as bewildered as Sora, he had a slightly mischievous smirk playing on his lips, whilst Sora just looked plain petrified.

Roxas snickered inwardly and looked at Sora's cards. "Don't worry, I'll save you," he murmured in Sora's ear, making the boy shudder with anticipation. He analysed the table and the cards that were already down, and then whispered instructions in Sora's ear. Being the gullible, trusting person that he was, Sora complied and placed down two cards. Zack looked at them, slapped his knees and hooted with amusement.

"Roxas, either you're awful at this game or you did that on purpose!" the black haired man laughed, causing Roxas to flash him an angry, furtive glance. Zack caught the look and made a small 'oh' sound of realisation, and quickly corrected himself. "But then again, you're as naked as me and Sora, so I guess you are awful!"

Xion was waving a chocolate pocky in their faces. "Get to it then boys," she giggled, smiling sweetly as if she was completely innocent.

"I hate you Xion," Sora muttered, taking the stick and placing the chocolate covered end in his mouth. He turned to Roxas, who gave him one of the sexiest grins he had seen the boy make, and took the other end in his teeth, eyes locked on him and that grin still tugging at the corners of his mouth. And then Roxas took Sora completely by surprise; as they started to munch their way to the middle, Roxas reached up and placed his hand on the back of Sora's head, guiding him to eat faster as the blonde matched the pace. Sora realised with a pang of excitement and terror that they were going to reach the middle at the same time, and shut his eyes as they finished the treat and their lips connected.

This time, there was no hesitancy on Roxas's part. His hand curled into a fist in Sora's hair, holding him still as he pressed his bare chest against Sora's, kissing the brunette hard and pushing insistently for entrance. Sora had been dominated already that evening by Cloud however, and when he realised Roxas's intentions, he returned the pressure with equal fire, not prepared to submit the slim blonde. Roxas growled as the poker participants looked on in amusement and interest, and nipped Sora's lower lip sharply, provoking a gasp from the boy. Roxas took this opportunity and pushed his tongue roughly in Sora's mouth, groaning with satisfaction as he felt Sora's tongue meet his, and they started a battle for dominance. Sora's hands had wrapped around Roxas's neck, and he was making whimpering sounds of need as they kissed angrily, occasionally biting each others lips.

When Xion called for them to stop so that they could continue with the game, nobody had won the battle for control. They pulled away, panting harshly, faces flushed from lack of oxygen, and Roxas grinned wickedly. Sora returned the grin, not caring about his apprehensions at the moment, not caring if Roxas had only kissed him in the heat of the moment. It had been fantastic, a complete head rush, and that was all that mattered to him right now. He felt like he was floating, like he was on a drug high, and it was going to take him a while to come down.

They continued playing the game with a lot more sexual tension between them. Roxas kept brushing his leg against Sora's and sending him cheeky grins, and every time he leaned over to help Sora play their arms brushed together and Sora caught whiffs of Roxas's aftershave. The boy was intoxicating and addictive, and Sora couldn't wait for the game to end so he could drag him into the bathroom and settle that battle for dominance.

The game ended around two hours after it had started; Rude had won in the end, having only removed one item of clothing, his tie. Nobody seemed to mind though, and Axel certainly didn't seem bothered when Xion had kissed him drunkenly and dragged him away into her room. Reno and Rude watched them go with big grins.

"Those two have fancied each other since the dawn of time, yo," Reno said, laughing as Axel gave him an excited thumbs up before shutting the door. Sora and Roxas chuckled and started to pull their clothes back on, remembering that there were still people who were fully clothed and that Marluxia was ogling them like a perv at a strip club.

They rejoined with Roxas's band mates and Kairi, Olette, and Naminé, and they all crowded in Kairi's room just lounging on the chairs and bed, drinking and exchanging conversation. Roxas lay on one of the couches with Cloud, and Sora sat on the floor, leaning against the said couch. About ten minutes into the conversation, he realised that Roxas was combing his fingers through Sora's hair, leaving delicious goosebumps on the back of his neck and causing Sora to quiver with excitement. Nobody else noticed this as the conversation continued, but the two boys could feel the tension in their stomachs mounting higher and higher. When Roxas's hand drifted to Sora's shoulder and started to trace circles over the skin exposed by the loose collar of the brunette's shirt, Sora lifted one hand and caught Roxas's exploring one in his fingers, surreptitiously weaving their fingers together. He heard Roxas give a very quiet, almost inaudible gasp, and grinned, knowing that he too had power over Roxas's emotions, and that it wasn't just him that felt like he was about to collapse in a pile of excited goo at Roxas's every touch.

Eventually, people started to drift into corners to sleep. Kairi and Riku curled up in her bed whilst Olette and Naminé took the couch which folded out into a bed. Other people grabbed sleeping bags from the loft and found couches and comfortable bits of floor to sleep on. Sora and Roxas didn't speak as they unzipped one sleeping bag and laid it down on the linoleum in the main living area, before unzipping another to act as a cover. They said nothing as they undressed and pulled on the tracksuit bottoms they had brought with them, and were silent as they lay down together on their makeshift bed and stared at the ceiling.

When it seemed like everyone in the flat was silent and had gone to sleep, Sora turned on his side to face Roxas, finding that the blonde had done the same.

"I don't understand these feelings," Roxas murmured as he brought up a hand to trace Sora's cheek, his cerulean eyes glassy in the darkness. "I just feel so drawn to you, Sora."

Sora didn't reply as he replayed these words over and over in his mind. "I don't get it either," he finally said, their foreheads pressed together and their hands trailing gently over each others torsos, exploring lazily. "But it feels good, and I don't want it to stop."

Roxas nodded, making an agreeing sound in the back of his throat. "Kiss me again."

Sora happily complied, catching Roxas's lips with his own in a kiss that held no hesitancy this time, quickly opening his mouth in his eagerness to resume their fight for control. Roxas groaned into his mouth as Sora forced his tongue past the blonde's lips, tracing the line of his teeth and stroking the soft upper palate, before Roxas's tongue retaliated and tried to force them out of the blonde's mouth and into the brunette's.

It seemed like Roxas was winning for a moment, until Sora grabbed Roxas's shoulders and rolled, landing on top of the leaner blonde and deepening the kiss with the assistance of gravity, plunging his tongue into Roxas's mouth insistently and grasping the blonde's arms, pressing them firmly to the floor. Roxas moaned in frustration and Sora felt that tell-tale heat beginning to pool in his stomach as they grinded their hips and kissed more frantically, gasping for air every so often and making soft sounds of need.

But suddenly, something flipped in Sora's mind. It was as though all the alcohol in his system that had been giving him the Dutch courage he needed, had drained from his brain. He broke the kiss with a gasp and pulled back, looking down at Roxas with horror. The blonde looked up at him with glassy eyes, his blonde hair spread out over the floor like a golden halo, his cheeks pink and his lips parted as he panted softly.

"What is it, Sora?"

"I... can't do this!" Sora hissed, sitting up and rolling off of Roxas. "I mean... we're both guys, goddammit! I'm straight!"

Roxas sat up too, his face quickly morphing into one of no expression as he stared into the darkness. "You're right. This can't happen; it's just wrong."

Sora looked at him, frustration shining clearly in his cobalt eyes, which reflected the moon that shone through the window. "Let's forget this happened. We drank too much and we're emotionally stressed... that must be the reason..."

"Yeah," Roxas echoed hoarsely. He lay back down and turned away from Sora, putting an end to the conversation. "Night, Sora."

"Goodnight," Sora replied, lying back and staring at the ceiling once more, his eyes focusing on a small spider that was crawling across its web to a fly it had ensnared. He watched as the fly struggled helplessly, and the spider began to constrict it with fine silken threads which shone pink as they reflected the moonlight and the paint on the ceiling. Sora sighed, empathising with the fly. It felt like Roxas had taken a red string of fate and was wrapping it around him, trapping him in a web of lust. And even after what had just been said, Sora knew that he wanted more. He wanted to be devoured by Roxas. Even if it killed him eventually.

Hmm, a little rushed at the end maybe, but hopefully you all liked it :) Sorry that I didn't reply to every review individually last week (of which there were 15 :D), I will try and reply to everyone this week. Lord knows I have the time to do it, being bedridden and all :P Many thanks for reading, please review!