When Aoshi left that day, she felt it may never be the same and in fact it wasn't. She always missed the times they shared each day in each other's company. She never realized how much he took of her time until this day when he was somewhere else and not beside her. Her morning would be spent for preparing for his visit and the whole day would be spent together in each other's arms. And at night she would contemplate the whole day with Aoshi until she fell asleep. But without Aoshi her day would be meaningless, no one to prepare for in the morning, to go out with the whole day and even at night nothing to think about leaving her in boredom but most especially in loneliness and wishing for him to be by her side. She became less complacent with herself that the whole household was worried with their Lady that she had to force herself out of this laziness, just to reassure them that she is doing well with out Aoshi-san.
She decided to take on her previous occupation, like her morning walks and her studies to become a doctor to take her mind of things while she waits for his return. She also kept in tune with the events in the country and was slightly relieved to learn that the Shogunate is regaining control in the other side of Japan. She also tool to help the families of the soldiers who were also sent to that place and learned that their husbands had much more time to write, and soon that he might be writing to her as well.
She must admit that though she might appear to take it very well, she still misses him. She usually relieves these feelings through her early walks. When she felt particularly alone she would walk in that particular walk were she once took before she had ever met Aoshi. She contemplated about the new start and at once she realized at how much agony she brought herself into. This was the same place were she walked when that man… the footsteps on the snow, she felt like every bone in her body was aching. She remembered in an instant and wanted to escape right away before her thoughts consumed her. She ran away, from this path and tried to escape everything she once felt. Her feet tried to carry her far off, but her hear weighed her down.
What's happening to me? Why am I feeling this way? What are these doubts?!
She started to sob, what did she do to deserve this pain and be drove to the edge of insanity? She continued to run until she can't anymore and she fell on the ground and shouted in pain… "I love him! I love Aoshi and we're going to be happy!" She stood up and faces an enemy she can't see. "It's because of this stupid heart! You belong to Aoshi, and you will be his forever." She was at the verge and she sighed in relief when she was out of that walk.
She was just happy to be out of that walk and back into reality. She never felt that way before. It was as if she was possessed and her heart went berserk screaming with thoughts of past love and her true destiny. She never thought that hearts possessed such power to drive one out of her wits and totally frighten you. She regained her composure and walked back home and never to enter those woods and that path again.
I'm going to leave everything behind. I tried to reassure myself that I love only Aoshi but somehow my heart just won't calm down. Stupid heart.
"A letter for me, from Aoshi," is just what I needed. The events of the past day still haunted her and this was what Megumi thought a solution to calm her heart. It still contained his scent she thought, it would seem absurd if one of the servants saw her sniffing the scent but she didn't care. Though it mattered to her what other people thought she was in desperate need of serenity and this would surely give her that need of hers.
She couldn't help be happy that Aoshi will be coming back in a few days, and even stuttered at the line when Aoshi misses her "Mrs. Aoshi." If it was possible to kiss in a letter, Aoshi was able to do just that for at once after reading the letter, Megumi just felt herself again. A woman head over heels for her Aoshi.
Just a few more days… this is what kept her through each hour of the day.
She was awake before the sun broke out and created magnificent shades of pink and orange eating out the darkness. Her dark ebony hair swayed in the cool morning wind as she sat by the courtyard admiring the general splendor of the morning. What made this morning pleasant at all wasn't the beautiful scenery, but the sound of ships coming in and out of the harbor. It was the crowning glory of the city; it was the thing that made it beautiful. Even if she would close her eyes and her sight be taken away, she would still smile hearing the whistle of the ship cry out. Today, Aoshi was coming back.
She stood up and went back to her room, eager to prepare for his return. To further feel the importance of the occasion she took out her wedding kimono. It was made of pure red silk with gold trimmings of Sakura blossoms, along with the ornate head accessory made of jade and lined of gold. She was going to wear that kimono when she would meet Aoshi at the port. She wanted to look the most beautiful woman waiting for her love to come of from that ship.
As she approached the coach, she felt her heart beat twice as fast. She wasn't very sure of what to do with Aoshi's return. Yes, she loved him but it still gave her butterflies in the stomach when they would meet. It was always like the first time they would meet.
The ship was delayed as she had learned from the coach driver. She decided to wait inside, as to surprise him. It has been two hours but the ship hasn't arrived just yet. She was starting to get worried, it wasn't like for a ship to be delayed that long. She went out hurriedly and approached the port master and asked him what was taking the ship so long but was unable to do so. While she was absorbed in her thoughts inside the coach other people who were waiting for the ship went to the port master and right now surrounded the poor man. People were stirring a commotion in that direction, so Megumi tried her best to get away from the mob. With difficulty she tried to fend off the people who now were also crowding her. With much effort she made it out, and she separated herself from the crowd. Something was wrong and she knows it all too well. Something probably happened to the ship which caused the delay. Then something caught her eye, a small boat approaching the bay, she went towards that direction in the port. The people were still around the port master, so it was up to her to help the man in the boat get safely to the shore.