Through My Eyes

Do you ever get that pang of jealousy when you see a cute couple together? It's a natural, human instinct that I think all human beings feel from time to time. Some more than others. But it's always there. Especially when a couple is constantly staring you right in the face. Metaphorically, I mean. Not literally, that would be kind of strange.

Now, I'm not gay. I'm about as straight as an arrow. But it just so happens that it is a couple of girls who have been recently giving me those pangs. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for Ashley and Spencer. I'm happy that Ashley finally got her priorities straightened out and realized that she needs Spencer. It's obvious. It always has been.

I'm also happy Spencer gave Ashley another chance. After that whole prom thing, I don't think anyone knew exactly what to do with themselves. And as much as Ashley needs Spencer, I know Spencer needs my sister as well.

Ashley has been nicer than normal to me since Spencer dropped her trench coat in the doorway of our loft. I didn't ask for details after that. I would never admit this to her, but I do love her. It's a wonderful thing having a sister. Even a slightly self-involved, partially insane one like Ashley Davies.

"Hey Ky." Ashley says to me as she walks in through the door, hand in hand with Spencer. Here it goes again.

Spencer gives me a smile. "What are you up to?"

I give them both a smile in return and continue to flip through a magazine at the kitchen table. "Nothing really, just relaxing." I tell them.

"Sounds awesome." Ashley deadpans. Spencer gives her a look as if to say play nice. And I appreciate it. Spencer can be related to a lion tamer in regards to my sister.

I continue to read an article about some Hollywood bimbo getting drunk and photographed stealing from a convenient store when I hear giggling come from the sink. My eyes take in Spencer push a strand of Ashley's hair behind her ear. Ashley, in response, gives her a sweet kiss to the cheek.

I smile warmly in their direction despite the small sadness I feel. They're so right and good for each other. Sometimes I wish I had someone like that. Although I do know it is rare to find it so young. Those two are lucky and I hope they can hold on to each other.

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Some girl in the movie we are watching screams and Spencer buries her head in Ashley's chest. I pull the blanket protecting me up further, shielding my eyes from any blood that may come up.

"Don't be such a baby." I hear Ashley say with a chuckle to her girlfriend.

"I'm not." Spencer's voice is muffled in Ashley's shirt.

I laugh at her as does Ashley. "Don't laugh at me Kyla." Spencer says to my direction in a playful tone.

"Hey!" I exclaim, pointing a finger to Ashley. "Tell that to your girlfriend too."

"Yeah." Spencer smiles, her eyes trained on Ashley's. "But she can make it up to me later." Spencer says in a low, slightly seductive manner.

Ashley tilts Spencer's chin up with a finger and gives her a longer-than-necessary kiss. I roll my eyes.

When Ashley and Spencer announce that they're going to bed, I tell them goodnight and watch as Spencer runs into Ashley's room when her butt is slapped by my sister. It is things like that that I don't really need to experience. Actually, it is things like those that happen in Ashley's room that I don't need to see. I have had the unfortunate experience to have walked in on them multiple times. I always seem to walk in there at the wrong time. I feel like a constant interruption. But I'm not a psychic so I don't know when it's safe.

Maybe I should learn to knock.

I stay curled up on the couch. My phone starts to buzz and I take it from the coffee table, flipping it open.

"Hey Aiden." I say with a smile on my face.

"Hey Ky, what's up?" His gruff voice asks me.

I sigh internally. "Nothing really. Me, Spencer, and Ash were watching a movie but they just went to bed."

Aiden chuckles. "Interesting."

"Clear your mind, perv." I laugh through the phone.

Aiden is a good friend. Actually, that statement is false. Aiden was a really shitty friend to Spencer, Ashley, and me. The anger I felt towards him when he messed up Spencer and Ashley's relationship took a while to go away. As did the anger I personally felt towards him for leaving me for my sister. It was a sucky feeling.

But now that things are better and that Aiden is not such a douchebag, I feel okay. My moment of feelings for the handsome boy were only then and I don't think they'll be coming back. We work better as friends, and I like it that way. He just doesn't give me that feeling that I feel like I'm supposed to have. Maybe he might have gotten close before, but it passed.

That's the thing I find so amazing about Ashley and Spencer. Their feelings for each other, that feeling of rightness I know they both feel, never passes, it's a constant. Part of me wishes I could just be there with Aiden, but things like those can't be forced. They're not meant to.

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"Good morning sunshine." I say to Ashley as she walks into the kitchen in the morning. Her eyes are still half-closed and she's walking weirdly. I try to pretend I don't know why.

"Coffee." She mumbles and I point to the pot on the counter. "Thanks."

"Yup." I take a sip of my tea and feel some it burn my throat and tongue. Too hot. "What are you doing today?"

Ashley shrugs as she comes to sit next to me. "Probably nothing." But there is a smile on her face and I know she'll be spending her day with Spencer. "What about you?"

"I think I'll go down to the shelter and give out some food, help where needed." I say absentmindedly.

"Saving the world one homeless person at a time, are we?" Ashley says with a smirk on her face. I roll my eyes at her but let out a chuckle anyway.

"That's nice Ash." I turn to see Spencer walk out of Ashley's room with sweatpants and one of Ashley's band t-shirts on. She looks more awake than her girlfriend.

"Aw sweetie, you know I'm all for world peace and that kind of stuff." Ashley gives Spencer a toothy grin. Spencer just shakes her head and takes a seat in my sister's lap. Ashley rests her head on Spencer's shoulder and I feel that familiar pang.

"I think what you're doing is awesome." Spencer tells me with a smile, her hand intertwined with Ashley's.

"Thanks." I smile genuinely at her.

Sometimes, Spencer is so nice it's ridiculous. But I get why Ashley loves her so much. She keeps her grounded and as sane as one Ashley Davies can be. I also think it's funny how Spencer is the only one who can get her to shut up.

After the day at the shelter, I slowly walk back to the loft. My feet are killing me from standing all day and a bath sounds wonderful right about now. As I walk through town, I see a guy and girl huddled together on one of the benches, despite the heat. He whispers something in her ear and she laughs with a large grin on her face.

I sigh and walk past them.

As soon as I open the door to the loft, I get that feeling in me. That one that says not to go in. But, like always, it comes two seconds too late and my vision goes to the couch. The couch where Ashley is on top of Spencer in a very heated position. Ashley yells out some obscenities and falls to the ground, leaving Spencer breathing heavily on the couch. I thank God that they're both fully clothed.

"Kyla!" Ashley screeches, getting to her feet.

"What?!" I yell back, slamming the door. "I live here too and I shouldn't be afraid to open my own door!" My outburst even surprises myself. I see the shock on Spencer's face as well.

"I'm sorry Kyla. Seriously sorry." Spencer says to me apologetically.

I run a hand through my hair. "It's okay. Look, just, if you know I'm coming back then just don't, do whatever you're doing in the middle of the living room."

"She started it." Ashley says, pointing to her girlfriend. I roll my eyes, knowing that is complete and utter bullshit.

"Ashley!" Spencer yells, throwing a pillow at her laughing body. "I'm sorry again Kyla."

"Don't worry about it. You know I love you two, just, not that much." I joke, heading towards the kitchen.

I unpack some of the groceries I bought and put some dishes in the dishwasher. I hear from the doorway Ashley saying goodbye to Spencer. There are "I love you's" exchanged in not so low voices.

"Sorry Ky." Ashley says sincerely to me when Spencer is gone.

I head to my room. "It's okay." I tell my sister with a smile.

And I am okay. Because I am confident that one day I will be the one interrupted for a change.

El Fin.