Permanently

Call it a sixth sense. Call it a feeling, intuition. Call it what you will.

I couldn't sleep. It had nothing to do with the fact that I was alone. Or the fact that I was feeling more empty than I had in a while. Spending my nights at Ego with Kyla and Aiden and a hundred random strangers might be able to do that.

No, I couldn't sleep because my stomach was tied in tight knot. I must have been tossing and turning for about two straight hours. It's not that I wasn't tired. I was, I could feel it in my body and in the way my eyelids were heavy like a ton of bricks. But sleep wouldn't come.

After who knows how much longer of this ridiculous non-sleeping state I was in, my cell phone lit up. It flashed for a second and then it stopped, like the caller changed their mind almost as soon as they dialed. I instantly grabbed the small device off my dresser and flipped it open to see who had been calling so late. Who had totally changed their mind.

Carlins came up on the screen and I became confused. Why was the Carlin's home number calling me? Their house never called me and if it were Spencer she would have called from her cell phone. I stared at the bright screen for about a minute longer.

The uneasy feeling in my stomach came back ten-fold. What if something was wrong? But why, of all people, would Mr. or Mrs. Carlin call me? I felt useless just lying in my bed, so I stopped doing that.

My feet brought me out of bed, outside, into my car, and outside the Carlin's house. I parked outside and killed the engine, just looking at the house I was so familiar with. But hadn't been to in so long. I felt like a weirdo, just watching. All the lights were out, the whole house was dark. I'm not even sure why I was here. I just had…a feeling.

Taking the spare key that was hidden in the potted plant next to the door, I stepped as quietly as I could inside. This was creepy. No doubt. My eyes hadn't adjusted to the darkness yet, so I just kind of stood there, squinting. Then I heard very light sniffling coming from the dining room.

I walked in that direction. My heart was pounding violently in my rib cage.

"No, please, just go away." Spencer's voice said from the corner of the room. It was heavy with tears and cracked in the middle. That made me even more nervous. I grabbed an umbrella and swung it around in a circle.

"Spencer?" I whispered. If there was someone here I was going to slice their balls off, I swear.

"A-ashley?" She murmured.

"It's me Spence, what's going on, where are you?" I rushed out of my mouth. Nervous eyes finally adjusting, I spotted Spencer sitting on the ground in the corner. I threw the umbrella to the ground, and Spencer's flinch from the action didn't get passed me. I walked over to her quickly.

"What are you d-doing here?" She asked. Her knees were pulled up to her chin, arms around them, and face propped up on top. In the dark, I saw the glimmering of tears down her cheeks.

I knelt down in front of her. I wasn't sure if I should touch her or not. I wanted to, badly. But I wasn't sure if she wanted me to. "Your house kind of called me." I said gently.

Her eyes were down. She was shaking. I put my hand on her knee and rubbed it softly. "Hey." I whispered. "Spence, what's wrong."

Spencer just shook her head. I looked to my side and saw her cell phone in pieces scattered across the floor. Her house phone was right next to her. "Spencer, what happened to your phone."

She just shook her head again and tears started to stream more fluently down her gorgeous face. I started to breath erratically and just the sight of Spencer crying made some tears escape from my own eyes. I scooted closer to her, bringing my hand to cup her wet face. "It's okay." I cooed. "You're okay, I'm here, okay? You're okay."

I heard her hiccup, and Spencer finally looked up. She looked so sad that more tears made their burning path down my own face. I racked my brain, thinking if Spencer had told me over the phone earlier what she was doing tonight. What was she doing, what was she doing. Then I remembered. She was hanging out with Carmen.

Fucking Carmen.

"Did Carmen break your phone?"

Spencer nodded her head. "Yeah."

The only thing I knew to do was to take Spencer in my arms. So I did, although she was slow to let me. Once I gathered her in my lap, I gave her a soft kiss on the head. "Spencer, did Carmen hurt you?"

Spencer just buried her face in my shirt, her hands were gripped tightly around my neck. This was such a horrible circumstance but God, I missed her so much. I felt so incomplete without her.

I sniffled a little bit by accident. "Please tell me, I want to make you okay, please."

I could feel her heavy breathing against me. "She just pushed me against the wall. But then she smashed my phone to the ground."

I clenched my teeth together. "She put her hands on you." I said, more to myself than to the girl trembling in my arms. I wanted to run out of that house and put my hands on Carmen, and not in a nice way. But I didn't. I didn't because Spencer was so much more important.

I brought my hand up to cradle the back of Spencer's head and run my fingers through her hair in what I hoped was a soothing way. I felt her relax into me and sigh. I don't know how long we sat there together, a while.

"You didn't have to come here." Spencer said softly into my neck. I felt her lips whispering across the skin. I felt tingles and butterflies. Giant, thrashing butterflies.

"I wanted to. I will always be here for you Spencer, you have to understand that." I told her. I took her head out of my neck to kiss her cheek fondly. "I love you too much not to." I wasn't sure if that was too much. I kind of didn't care. I wanted her to know that she was safe with me now. That she always would be.

I felt Spencer's wet lips kiss my own cheek. "Thank you." She said against my tingling cheek.

I blinked. "Let me be here for you Spence. Let me keep you safe. Permanently."

Spencer locked her eyes on mine. She understood what I meant. My lips parted slightly when I felt her kiss the very corner of my mouth. Her nose traced the outline of my cheekbone. "Will you stay with me tonight? Permanently." I didn't have to look at her to know that, for the first time tonight, there was a smile on her face.

"Always."

And always it would be.

El Fin