A/N: Well here is my next chapter. They arrive at the camp here. Yay. Definitely much funnier than the previous chapter. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: I still do not own any of the amazing character of NCIS... I just mess with their heads. :)
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Chapter 3: Camp Heartland
Tony arrived outside Ziva's apartment early the next morning grinning. They had decided to carpool so they did not have to drive five different cars for four and a half hours. Abby was driving up with McGee.
Ziva couldn't help but smile at Tony's face when she exited her building with her bags under her arms. His happiness was contagious.
He walked up to her and took one of her three bags to load into the back of his car. "Excited Zee-vah?" he asked, already knowing the answer was no.
"That depends what you are referring to." She replied. "I am most definitely NOT excited about having to spend the next six hours stuck in a car with you. But I am excited to have so many opportunities to torture you over the next week."
At this comment Tony's mind automatically went to other gutter, but he was too smart to make a sexual comment to Ziva right before being stuck in a car with her. "It's not six hours Zee-vah. It's four and a half."
"That is true of a competent navigator who is half-way decent at reading a map, but not you Tony. After we have gotten lost four times, it will have taken six hours."
"Ha ha ha. Very funny. At least I'll get us there in one piece. If you were driving it would probably take two days 'cause we would have to take a detour to the nearest hospital."
She just rolled her eyes at him, then changed the subject. "You seem to be looking forward to this. Why?"
He glanced over at her, not really sure how to answer. Honestly he wanted to know more about her, and he knew that these therapy sessions were definitely going to bring up her past, but he couldn't tell her that, so he improvised. "Just looking forward to seeing you in a bikini again." He said looking over at her and obviously giving her elevator eyes before turning back to the road. "You could speed up the process and tell me what it looks like."
Ziva bit back a mean comment, instead deciding to play along. She leaned over to him and whispered seductively in his ear. "Who ever said anything about wearing a bathing suit."
Tony swallowed and looked over at her, sex in his eyes, this time looking her up and down slowly and for much longer than necessary.
Ziva hit him and screamed "Watch where you are going!!!!" as the car started to swerve.
Tony looked guiltily back at the road. "Stop tempting me Zee-vah." He said, a small smile on his face. "You know what I'm like around pretty girls. You never know what could happen next time."
"Yes, I do. We will end up dead wrapped around some tree. Now please, keep your eyes on the road." She responded, still shocked by what had just happened. Had he called her pretty?
The car ride was silent for the next few hours. Ziva was staring out the window watching the scenery fly past. They were driving down a freeway that had forests growing on either side. Meanwhile Tony tried to concentrate on not killing them both before they even got to the camp.
Finally Ziva broke the silence, "You were supposed to turn there." She said calmly.
Tony rolled his eyes. "Thanks for the big heads up." He slowed the car and made a u-turn. He drove back to where Ziva had pointed out the turn. He pulled into what turned out to be an incredibly long driveway. When the reached the end there were already two other cars there.
"See!" Ziva complained, "We are the last ones here. You should have let me drive." They retrieved their bags out of the back of the car and carried them up to the admins office. They entered a small room with a desk on one end, and a couch and a few chairs around a table on the other. Oh, and tons of plants. Ziva and Tony went to greet the rest of the team and were surprised to find the Director sitting there, as well.
"Good afternoon madame director." Tony greeted her. "...what are you doing here."
"Well, Special Agent DiNozzo, as one of the camp policies is there needs to be an equal number of men and women attending, I was forced to come suffer along with you."
Ziva made herself comfortable, while Tony started snooping around the office and looking at the multiple degrees and awards on the walls. After a few minutes of talking about what they were expecting throughout the next week, the whole team jumped when Tony suddenly burst out laughing.
"Haahahaaaha!!! Oh my gosh! You guys HAVE to see this. Come here. Oh, this is classic!" Curious, everyone stood up to see what was so funny. He was looking at some 'Best Councilors' award and was doubled over laughing hysterically at the point.
They read over the paper, none of them seeing what was so funny. Ziva and Abby glanced at each other. "Ummm.... Tony I don't get it. Well, actually nobody gets it. What is so funny?" Ziva questioned him.
"Ahaha! Can't you guys read!?" He still got blank stares from everyone. "Come on people! Their NAMES! Hahaha! Wow their parents must have hated them." Everyone looked back at the names. Slowly a smile spread over all their faces, except Ziva's.
She was still studying at the paper intently while everyone else started laughing along with Tony. "I still do not see it." she said, a small frown on her face.
"Sound it out Ziva." Tony said teasing her at her lack ability to understand the pun involved. "You'll get it when you hear it."
Just then a man and a woman entered the room and the team all stopped laughing at once. The woman introduced them, "Hello. I am Anita Mandalay and this is is Ralph M. Pitt (A/N: that's R.M. Pitt), but you can call us Ralph and Anita." At this Ziva's eyes lit open and it took all her Mossad training to keep a straight face. Tony grinned over at her, realizing she finally got it. "We will be your camp councilors for the next week. Today you will all be getting situated in your cabins and eating dinner in the cafeteria just down the path outside you room. There we will introduce you to everyone else, and then you can all go to sleep. Doesn't that sound nice?"
The team all let out a sound of agreement, but it sounded far from nice. None of them really wanted to be here in the first place, except maybe Tony, but even he would rather be sitting at home on his couch watching a movie with a beautiful girl.
They left the office and walked over to to the cabin in which they would be staying. They entered and were amazed... and mildly surprised to find there was actually a heating system and running water. (They had not had very high expectations.) There were five amazing beds and two huge bathrooms. (One for the girls and one for the boys.) The room was huge and had a beautiful view of the woods out side. The team exchanged glances with each other, their mouths hanging open.
Then Ziva noticed something. She walked forward and squinted her eyes and frowned. "Has anyone else notice there are only five beds... there are six of us." They all looked around counting the beds, then recounting, as if they had counted wrong the first time.
Jenny tilted her head to the side, confused, "I don't get it," she said, "they knew there were six of us coming. I'm going to go talk to someone." And she left the room.
"I'll come with you." Gibbs said as she left, and he followed her out.
Tony, Ziva McGee and Abby smirked knowingly at each other. They both knew there had to be something personal between Gibbs and the director, but none of them, not even Abby, was dumb enough to ask.
Tony walked over to one of the beds and jumped on, burying his face in the pillow. "Oh my gosh. This is like, the most comfortable bed EVER! It's like... the ferrari of all beds. Come here Ziva, try this bed out with me." he said, patting the mattress next to him. This time only Abby and McGee smiled knowingly at each other again as Ziva walked over and jumped onto the bed next to Tony. It didn't matter if it was just shameless flirting, it was not like Tony ever hit on Abby, or Ziva on McGee. There was a special connection between the two of them, and everyone knew it.
A few minutes later Jenny and Gibbs walked back into the room and just rolled their eyes at the sight of Tony and Ziva. Jenny was the first to speak. "Apparently they didn't know how many of us there were going to be until a few days ago and they didn't have any rooms with six beds. They had to order a new bed, but the order got mixed up somewhere, so the bed won't arrive until tomorrow morning. Two of us are going to have to share a bed tonight." Everyones heads turned slowly to Tony and Ziva. After realizing what everyone was thinking Ziva jumped out of bed.
"No no no no no no no no!" she said quickly. "No way. There is no way you are getting me to share a bed with that!"
"Hey!" Said Tony indignantly. Then he grinned. "I'm not that bad in bed." Everyone groaned at his bad joke.
Gibbs turned to Ziva. "You didn't seem to mind a minute ago. Besides, I think majority rules. All in favor of Tony and Ziva sharing a bed tonight?" Abby, McGee, Jenny and himself all raised their hands, grinning, causing Tony and Ziva to groan. After a minute Gibbs got serious. "But don't you two forget there are other people in this room, so no funny business." They both opened their mouths to object to this accusation, but Gibbs silenced them with a look. "I don't want to hear it, just know that's an order." They didn't try to push the subject.
After much arguing, cussing, and a bloody nose (from Ziva to Tony), the team unpacked and got situated in their new living arrangements. Gibbs and Jenny just stood by and watched. "You'd think they were a bunch of three year olds." Commented Jenny, smiling at the scene. Gibbs chuckled and agreed.
By the time they were finished unpacking, it was time for dinner. They walked in to the cafeteria, and were startled to find it filled with people. It was not a huge building, but there were a good 50 or so people.
"I do not understand." Said Ziva, frowning. "Why are there other people here. I was not over the impression that there would be other people here."
Tony smiled. "It's under the impression Zee-vah, and I don't know." But now that he thought about it, he realized it might be kind of weird, not to mention really awkward, to be at a therapy camp with only six people.
After they had finished eating the counselors entered the room, accompanied by a few others and sat down at their table. Ralph introduced them. "Hello team NCIS, I would like to introduce you to Ginger Rayl and Willie Leak. They will be you physical trainers; you will be exercising twice a day. More will be explained to you about this later. And this is Mike Easter." at this Tony whispered "More like Mike ass." in Ziva's ear, causing her to snicker. Ralph looked over at her, causing her to stop laughing, so he continued. "If you have any questions what-so-ever, ask him. That is all, thank you." They staff exited the building.
Back at the cabin everyone had gotten ready for bed. The lights were out and Tony and Ziva were laying as far apart as they could get from each other on the bed without falling off. Right before he drifted off to sleep, Tony muttered, "You know Ziva, if we stay here too long, I might accidently start to call you Anna Sasin." Ziva just smiled and fell asleep.
A/N: SEEEEEE!!! I TOLD YOU IT WOULD BE FUNNY ;)
AND BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING, I KNOW THERE IS ACTUALLY NO CAMP OR THERAPY... OR ANYTHING REALLY THAT MAKES IT A REQUIREMENT FOR THERE TO BE AN EQUAL NUMBER OF GUYS AND GIRLS. I JUST NEEDED AN EXCUSE FOR JENNY TO COME; AND HEY, ITS MY STORY. IT DOESN'T HAVE TO MAKE SENSE.
R&R :)