Though, maybe not meant for me to see, and certainly not directed to me, but the expression I catch on Gale's face is fuming.
He is with us, the same expression on his face as when my sister left, watching the opening ceremonies and interviews. They sort of go by in a blur. I barely notice Cinna's costume; barely recognize the wonder he has done for her again. Katniss and Peeta are holding hands again and I spare a glance at Gale. For a moment, he seems not so full of contempt, but almost resigned, even grateful maybe, that she has someone with her. That she's not completely alone. I feel the same way. It's the best she can have now. The training scores come in and she scores a 12! Peeta, too. I remember last year, when she scored an 11, Gale had tried to stay light by saying there was room for improvement. Now she has improved, maybe. It's possible, but we do not celebrate now that she has achieved the impossible. She already had sponsors enough, Cinna and Haymitch had seen to that. No, this was just a way to place a target on her head and we all know it.
It hardly even surprised me at the interviews when Peeta announces she's pregnant. Only at this, point, though, did Gale finally get up and leave. Mother seemed to believe her, though, her eyes going wide. But, I leaned over, fairly certain, "Mom, it's just for the cameras. You know she wasn't when she left and you know it would be too soon to tell if she had been only since she arrived at the Capitol. Besides, you know, too, it's the last thing she wants." She seemed to accept that, but still narrowed her eyes.
The next day Gale is back over again, though, for the first day of the actual Games. We're all concerned about her allying with Finnick, but we barely have time to worry about it when we stare at the screen, uncertain. Something knocked Peeta unconscious. If he's dead, Katniss might actually try to get home, though I can't quite make myself that optimistic, or she really does love him and would give up. If he's not, then there's an even lower chance she'll try to get herself safe and out. We see Katniss try to push Finnick off when he tries to help. Torn, just as Finnick pushes her off, to which I half approve of and half frown on, Gale mutters, "Cat.."
We nervously watch the rest of the games, silently urging them on against the monkeys, grateful by now she is with Finnick and for their shooting skills. Torn at the death of Mags, another human life lost, protecting Katniss, but yet one closer, to… what? She's still concerned for Peeta over herself. You can see that. I know it's futile, but I mutter, "Please, Katniss." Please try, try to come home. Mother just watches in a daze.
Yet, it's not until the next day, when mother is watching in the living room with Gale, and I'm getting water from the kitchen, that I freeze, shattering the glass I just had in hand and slowly turn my head to the living room where the scream came from. Except, it wasn't Katniss's. It was mine. I saw Gale and mother whip around once, to be certain it wasn't really me, when we hear Gale's scream, again, not really him. I run back over to the television, eyes wide, hand over my mouth, as I sink to the floor. How could they? I know it's the Capitol, but I guess you think there are still some lines they wouldn't cross. Gale is staring first at the screen with a stunned expression that changes to outrage to pain and then disgust. I don't have the energy left to be furious, but skip to feeling the tears prick at my eyes for what they did, eventually turning to feelings of disgust myself.
After they take a break from the jabberjays to show the other tribute's struggles and come back to Katniss and her group, she's given up fighting them off, just sunk to the ground. I find myself with a pained look of disgust scooting over to Gale, who moves to hold my mother and me tight, as if we truly we family. Not until the jays are silent and Peeta's talking to them, comforting them, on the beach do we move apart and I hear Gale, for the first time, quietly say, "Thank you, Peeta." I can understand why.
After the jabberjays ambush is over and done, we're left to wonder about the loaves of bread they keep getting. I can't come up with an answer. At one point, though, it seems Gale does, suddenly sitting straight up and seeming to think about something.
"Gale?" I ask.
He holds up a hand, asking me to wait, glances my way and seems to make a decision, "Sorry, it's nothing."
I look at him, suspicious, he seems too tense, dare I say excited, to really have nothing, but I let it go.
You get the feeling that the Games are almost over, not just from the dwindling number of tributes, not even just the slightly changing attitudes of those remaining, including Katniss and Peeta's. There is some intangible feeling in District 12, too. Maybe it's just hope for it to be over soon. I have time to wonder how the adults in the district stomached watching year after year of the Games, start to come up with an answer of they don't really, either drinking through it or comforting the tribute's family. I also have time to realize that things are falling apart in the arena as Katniss and Peeta are separated and Johanna knocks Katniss to the ground. Then, I watch, uncomprehendingly, as Katniss sends an arrow into the force field. I don't have time to understand it all, when the lights go completely out, Gale tenses for a second, then stands up, grabbing my mother and me to come out the door and telling us to run to the meadow and stay there until he gets there, when I hear, too, the distant, but quickly growing close, hum of planes. I don't have time to fully understand, but enough to begin to realize that everything we have is about to, once and for all, be gone. I nod to Gale, and pull at my mother, yelling, "Let's go! Now!"
Only as we stand watching our homes and some unlucky neighbors' burn to the ground do I have time to not understand, but worry about what happened to my sister.