Chapter 2: Ed in…
TALL AS I CAN BE!
"Hey, Ed!" Ran yelled from her punishment perch.
"What shortie?" Ed yelled back
"Hey, you shouldn't be talking Hagane no chibi-san." Envy called from his time-out spot.
"I'm not short!" Ed yelled defensively.
"Shut up! And stop egging him on Envy, or I'll come up there, handcuff you, and then gag you." Rose yelled from a-top the bookshelf, where once again her nose was buried in a book.
"Ooh, kinky." Envy said in his sexy voice.
"Don't you dare talk to my girl like that." Ed growled, once again, defensively.
"Oh, your girl is she?" he sneered, "Is that why she read about all of the sexy guys in that Twilight crap?"
"Wait a sec," said Ed. "You think the guys are sexy?" Rose and Ed asked together.
"Naw," he said lazily, "I just hear what you guys say in your sleep."
Rose once again immersed herself in a new book, to reread again. Envy had given her the idea. Why not read the Twilight saga again?
Once Envy knew that Rose wouldn't hear him, he started picking on Ed again.
"Oh chibi-san." Envy called down to the tiny alchemist.
Ed looked up.
"You wanna know a secret?" Envy asked.
"Sure, why not?" Ed said.
"You're short. You're as small as an ant. Wait, no. I take that back." There was a look of surprise on Ed's face, was envy being nice to him? "You're smaller than an ant." Nope. Envy was just being himself. Taking every chance he gets to torment Ed. He should have known. Envy continued, "You could ride an ant to the county fair and win as the shortest person in the world. EVER."
"You're even smaller than Thumbelina!" Piped Ran.
"Shut up, kid." Ed yelled toward the five year old who Rose had pinned by the shirt to the shelf in the closet. "You're shorter than me."
"Oh, really?" she questioned. "'Cause I'm all the way up here."
"Well, I can get to be even taller than you." Ed yelled. "Just wait and see. Watch and learn, short-stop."
"PALM TREES ARE SEXIER THAN MIDGETS!" Ran screeched.
Ed paused on his way, trying to scale back up the kimono, and fell flat on his butt. He looked up at the now-laughing Envy. "What on earth have you been teaching this kid you sick bastard? She's only five years old!"
Envy rolled up his eyes, remembering…
FLASHBACK
Envy smirked down at the little girl. "Just remember kid, Palm trees are sexier than midgets."
"But WHY?" she asked innocently.
"Because," he struck a pose, "I'm sexy."
END FLASHBACK
He sneered down at Ed, "Nothing. Nothing at all…" and then he smirked.
Ed scaled his way up the kimono again, and clambered onto the shelf in the closet.
"HAHA!" Ed yelled from a-top the giant stack of Pokémon cards. "I'm taller than you! Ha!"
"Not as tall as ME Hagane no chibi-san!" Envy taunted.
"!" He shouted, very, very frustrated.