Title: Collecting the Stars
Genre: Romance/Drama
Rating: M
Disclaimer: I no own
Note: This fic is AU, has slight OOC, and contains Yaoi. You have been warned.
Summary: [AU. Yaoi] – It was hard, moving to Twilight Town with my father so soon after mom died. Life just became a whirlwind then, of sex, drugs, wild parties, and a red head that snuck in through my window every night.
WARNING: Unbeta'd Beware Errors!!!!
"Blah" means talking
"Blah" means phone conversations
Blah means thoughts
Chapter 10: The Show Must Go On
(AXEL'S POV)
Empty spaces - what are we living for?
Abandoned places - I guess we know the score...
On and on!
Does anybody know what we are looking for?
Another hero - another mindless crime.
Behind the curtain, in the pantomime.
Hold the line!
Does anybody want to take it anymore?
The Show must go on!
The Show must go on!
Inside my heart is breaking,
My make-up may be flaking,
But my smile, still, stays on!
Living on a tour bus sucked major, hairy, balls. I hated no having privacy, hated having to sleep on these cot-like coffins that they try to pass as beds, the curtains sounding them did not substitute for walls. I could still hear everything that was going on, no matter how quiet people were trying to be.
Looks like it was gonna be another sleepless night for me. Joy.
With a sigh I took out my cell from beneath my pillow, the time zone on my phone was still the same as it was back home. It was late over there, just after midnight, everyone would probably be sleeping and getting the rest they needed for the next day. I missed those days, the normal jobs and the ability to do whatever the hell you wanted whenever and no one gave too much of a damn.
"No you asshole! It's West!" I heard Xigbar, our manager, snap at the bus driver. I hoped that the bus driver didn't get too upset about that and develop the sudden urge to drive us into a ditch or something.
With a tired sigh, I put my headphones on and listened to some Queen. Loads of people have told me that I sounded a lot like Freddie Mercury, but honestly I'd always thought they were all full of crap because no one could ever sound even close to him. It's pretty obvious who I hero worshiped as a kid, besides my dad of course.
Taking out my cell again I began to look through my numbers, flipping idly, pretending to not know what I was looking for. But I knew, and I wasn't sure why I was torturing myself like this.
Over the year that I've been gone from home a lot of shit has happened. It was as if over night The Nobodies became famous, no lie, and it was a lot to take in. I didn't mean to just leave Twilight Town like that; I missed my dad, mom, sister, and friends. Home felt so far away now, and I doubted that there was any way to get it back.
I stopped my number search in the R's.
Rikku.
Why did I still have her number?
She was an ex-girlfriend who visited me a few days before The Nobodies were meant to meet up with Xigbar so that we could conjure up a contract. She came into the flower shop, chatted up with Olette and made it sound like we were a couple again. When in actuality we hadn't spoken since she dumped me. So she came into the shop, talked to my little sister, which had pissed me off beyond belief, and then threw herself on me when I walked downstairs to see what was up. Of course, I never blew up in front of Olette, ever. I took Rikku outside and we talked, to put it nicely, apparently her boyfriend Gippal and she had broken up because 'he was such a jerk' and she wanted to know if I would give her another chance.
Let's just say it was an ugly conversation.
Olette was glaring at me when I went back into the shop. I arched an eyebrow at her; she shook her head, obviously angry with me for whatever reason. I just shrugged it off and went on with my life. My sister was always pissed off at me for one thing or another.
That night was our final concert at an Indie band, Xigbar was in the audience, making sure that we were what he had wanted us to be. Unfortunately I was late, so damn late, because Rikku, bitch that she was, showed up again. More words were exchanged and I had to catch the late, congested, train to Radiant Garden.
When I had gotten there it was fifteen minutes passed opening curtain. I cursed to whatever deity was listening to me, and snuck in through the side entrance, not even bothering with hair or makeup shit. To my surprise Roxas was there, singing his heart out and sounding good. I mean really damn good. When he started singing Hey Jude I asked Nanaki for an extra mic and took my cue after the first few lines.
Roxas.
He's, God, what isn't he? Jailbait was the perfect word for him back then. The legal age in Twilight was 17 to 21, that was fine, any older than that or younger than that was grossly illegal. I had taken a liking to him when he had given me that mini-heart attack the first time we met. He was different, and had spunk, which I liked. But as the weeks went on I began to notice that I liked him a little too much, and that was dangerous. I threw him to Naminé and ran, but then it hurt to see him with the blonde girl, and I liked Nam just fine before Roxas started dating her. She always just gave me a knowing smile, because the girl's fucking mental.
The kid threw himself at me not two weeks after he and Nam broke it off, and as much as I denied him, and said no to him, my resolve broke. The foundation of my sanity crumbled around me and left me reaching out for some sort of salvation from the madness of drowning in Roxas. I had it bad.
I never got say goodbye to anyone aside from my family, I wondered if Roxas was mad, upset, or hurt about that. With a snort I shifted in my cot like coffin, was I an arrogant bastard or what? It's been over a year, I wouldn't be surprised if he had a girlfriend or boyfriend (if he was out of the closet. Knowing him he wasn't.) But, then again, I doubted Roxas was totally bent, probably just a little bent. Maybe he had just been curious; maybe I was his precollege experiment. It was a different matter for me; I generally gave a damn about the kid, so much so that it was creepy. I had a picture that Nam had drawn of him inside my pillow case.
See what I mean?
A few weeks ago I had written a song called Roxy, and had gotten teased by my band mates relentlessly, even by Saïx and Zexion. It didn't matter to me; I had to let it all out. The idea for the song came from when Demyx told me that he had heard from Hayner, who heard from Pence, who heard from Roxas, who was heard from Olette, that I had a secret girlfriend. I knew my sister was probably talking about the incident with Rikku, and sometimes Olette tended to jump the gun, I didn't even bother to get mad about it.
I wrote a song about it instead. It became a number one hit over the summer and brought the band to the peak of popularity faster than the speed of light. Now Xigbar expected songs that hit number one all the time from me. It was draining, writing lyrics about a lost love, it was personal, but people ate it up.
Frowning, I clicked on Roxas' name. It was November and probably cold back home, he was in his senior year of high school now. It's almost been over a year since I've spoken to him, and I just wanted to speak with him so bad. I wanted to see him, big blue eyes and messy blond hair; to touch his skin and kiss his mouth. I really did have it bad.
A snore from above my bed told me that Demyx was out for the night. The entire bus was silent, with the exception of the radio that was on low in the front to keep the driver up.
MGMT was pouring through my head phones now, singing about stardom and missing of home. I could relate to this song perfectly.
Clicking on Roxas' name I sent him a quick text.
I miss you.
I held my breath once it was sent, having no idea if he was going to reply. He was probably asleep, everyone back home most likely was. Well, maybe not Dad, but he was an insomniac on most nights, like me.
I waited ten minutes for a reply, when none came I tried not to let it get to me. The sharp jab of pain in my heart had nothing to do with disappointment or anything like that.
Luxord began to talk in his sleep about cards. I turned my phone off and took my headphones off, rolling them all together in a jumbled mess of wires that I'd most likely regret later, and stuffed all of it underneath my pillow.
"Good night Rox," I whispered into the pillow, feeling a bit light hearted than before, sleep finally claiming me.
I couldn't wait until May, we were to be going back home, we were going to perform in Radiant Garden at Nanaki's club like old times. Maybe we'd be able to chill at Zell's afterwards, and see our families. Maybe I'd be able to see Roxas and tell him everything; he'll be 18 by then. Maybe he'll understand.
My phone was off, we'll see if he texted me back tomorrow. I hope that he does. But if not, well, I'd understand. I can only hope that one day he'll forgive me for the mess of a friendship (relationship?) that we had. I made a lot of mistakes, but I hope he can look passed that, I'm only human.
TBC
ECK: Okay, I know I said there was only one chapter left, but I had to post this. The final chapter is still in the works, and it's LONG, this was part of it but I decided it was better off on its own. It's really just short filler, but I just wanted to give Axel a chance to speak. The next chapter IS going to be the last one, that's a promise; it's just going to take me a little while due to the fact that there's just so much going on.
Okay, so here are the songs for the soundtrack:
Chapter 1— Jesus of Suburbia By: Green Day
Chapter 2— Just Dance By: Lady Gaga
Chapter 3— The Garden By: Mirah
Soras' Song – My Heart By: Paramore
Chapter 4— Don't Trust Me By: 3OH!3
Naminés' Song— Lights On By: The Pierces
Chapter 5— Shut Up and Let Me Go By: The Ting Tings
Chapter 6— Love Game By: Lady Gaga
Chapter 7— Only One By: Yellow Card
Chapter 8— Chasing Cars By: Snow Patrol
Insert Song – Jacks Lament By: Nightmare Before Christmas
Insert Song— Basket Case By: Green Day
Insert Song— Don't Stop Me Now By: Queen
Insert Song— Hey Jude By: the Beatles
Chapter 9— Don't Let Me Fall By: Lenka
Chapter 10— The Show Must Go On By: Queen
Axels' Song— Time to Pretend By: MGMT
Roxas' Song— She's a Handsome Woman By: Panic! At the Disco
Chapter 11— The Idea of Growing Old By: The Features
You can listen to it here: http :// www. playlist. com / playlist / 15475795723
If that doesn't work there's a link to it on my profile too.
Please review! Flames are welcome!