Disclaimer: NCIS and its characters do not belong to me and this story is not intended as an infringement of copyright. It has been written solely for entertainment and no profit has been made from its creation.
BLINDSIDED
Chapter Five
As the orderlies brought Tony back into his room and settled him into his bed, Gibbs and Ducky resumed their vigil in the visitor's chairs. Still battling the effects of the sedative, Tony furrowed his brow as he struggled his way back through the various levels of consciousness, blinking bleary, sightless eyes in a futile attempt to clear his vision.
As his agent began showing signs of restlessness, Gibbs leant forward to, again, take hold of Tony's wrist in a gesture of silent reassurance. Tony's breathing evened out, his face relaxed and his head canted slightly to the side. He was on the cusp of sleep when his eyes flew open again and he turned his face to Gibbs.
"DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked.
"Boss," Tony whispered sibilantly. "Ziva's okay?"
"You asked me last night, Tony – twice," Gibbs replied. "Broken arm but she's home now."
"s'good," Tony slurred as his eyes drifted closed again. "s'good."
He slept fitfully for another fifteen minutes before the thudding inside his head began to increase and when the pain became unbearable, he awoke. His pallor and pained expression had Ducky instantly on his feet in search of his doctor and additional medication.
Gibbs watched the younger man for several minutes, recognising the instant the drug-induced fugue lifted and the reality of his blindness came crashing back down on him. For a fleeting moment the raw emotions surfaced and his long, searching fingers found and painfully taloned around Gibbs' forearm.
Within the space of three deep breaths, the younger man had viciously suppressed his fears and with an intrinsic inner-strength, he shored up the façade he wore to keep his innermost feelings at bay. He loosened his painful grip on Gibbs' arm, and donned a crooked grin.
"Sorry, Boss," he said softly to avoid aggravating the headache from hell.
Gibbs placed his free hand on Tony's shoulder and squeezed it lightly. "Ducky's gone for the doc."
"The results?"
"Just waiting for you to wake up and join us," he replied lightly. "How you feeling?"
"Headache's killing me," Tony said, surprising Gibbs with his admission. "How was court? Jury convict Turner already?"
"Not yet…Judge granted an adjournment of two days," Gibbs said. "Family business."
"Turner had family business?"
"Nope…I did," Gibbs replied.
Tony sat a little straighter and flexed his jaw before asking. " s'bad Boss, isn't it?"
"Wait for the doc."
He huffed a small, humourless laugh. "Eight years of taking your best head slaps and a bomb turns my lights out," he said with a brittle smile that quickly disappeared as he chewed his bottom lip and exhaled deeply.
"How am I gonna do this, Boss?" he said, desperate to hold on to his shaky composure.
"Same way you meet every other challenge, Anthony – head on!"
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Gibbs felt Tony jump and his body tense as the door opened and Ducky and neurologist, Doctor Colby entered the room.
As Ducky took a seat by the door, Doctor Colby shuffled some papers and softly cleared his throat to alert Tony of his approach.
"Tony, it's Doctor Colby," he said. "Doctor Mallard told me that you're in pain."
"I'm fine."
"DiNozzo!" Gibbs lightly scolded.
"I have a headache," he amended reluctantly.
"Mmm, a bad one, I'd say by the look of you," Colby stated. "Where would you rate it on a scale of 1 to 10?"
"Four," Tony answered.
Gibbs sighed in exasperation. "DiNozzo!"
"Thirteen," he replied more truthfully.
"I'm going to give you something to help with the pain, it will also help you sleep," the doctor said, placing a pill in the palm of Tony's hand and reaching for a glass of water. He placed the cup into Tony's free hand and guided it slowly to his mouth before Tony baulked.
"I don't want to sleep, Doc," he said forcefully. "I need to know if I'm ever gonna see again!"
"Take the pill, Tony," the doctor instructed. "It will take 10 to 15 minutes to take effect. We can talk about the results while we wait."
He rolled the pill around the palm of his hand until he felt the light squeeze on his shoulder. He swallowed the tablet with a mouthful of water and felt the glass taken from him.
"Okay," Colby said calmly. "Let's begin."
"Wait!" Tony interrupted. "Where's Ducky – I want Ducky to hear this."
"It's alright, Anthony, I'm right here with you," Ducky said, gently patting Tony's blanketed legs.
"I guess…I guess we're ready then," Tony replied, not feeling ready at all.
Doctor Colby cleared his throat again.
"We believe you are suffering from, what is known as, Neurological Vision Impairment. This condition, also called cortical blindness, is a loss of vision resulting from an acquired brain injury," the doctor explained calmly and clearly, "The visual impairment…"
"Why don't you just call it blindness, doc?" Tony said sharply.
"Tony…" Gibbs said softly, as Tony lowered his head and took a shuddering breath.
"I'm sorry," Tony mumbled. "Please…go on."
"The visual impairment is caused by damage to the areas of the brain that are responsible for sight."
"Is it permanent?" Tony asked, his every muscle tensing in anticipation of the answer.
"NVI can be temporary or permanent depending on the degree of damage to the area of the visual cortex or posterior visual pathways of the brain. The eyes may function normally, as in your case, however, the visual systems of the brain do not consistently understand or interpret what the eyes see."
Tony swallowed convulsively, trying to rid his throat of the huge lump that had situated there.
"Doc…in my case…is it permanent?" he asked feeling a tightening in his chest.
"In short, Tony, we don't know," the doctor said. "The swelling to your brain from your skull fracture and concussion, is placing a dangerous amount of pressure on the visual cortex. If the visual cortex and optic nerves are crushed, your sight will never return. However, if your brain can recover from this injury without damaging the visual cortex, as the swelling subsides, your vision may also improve."
"So…this could be temporary?" Gibbs asked.
"Yes, there are many recorded cases where the loss of sight has lasted anywhere from a few hours to a few years, with sight improving incrementally during that time," the doctor told him. "Tony's sight could be partially restored, fully restored or…it may never return at all."
Tony slumped back against the pillows, the sound of his own blood pumped furiously in his ears as he drowned in a deluge of fear and desperation. Gibbs winced internally as he watched the younger man clear his face of all expression and reinforce the walls surrounding his emotions to prevent intruders.
The pain medication began to make its presence known and keeping his eyes open was just too hard. Tony let them close and shutout the sound of the voices around him.
"Gentlemen, perhaps we should continue this discussion outside and allow Anthony to rest," Ducky said.
Tony felt Gibbs' hand leave his wrist and fought the rush of panic and the embarrassing urge to call him back as he allowed himself to slip into peaceful oblivion.
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The three men walked to the staff lounge, Ducky and Gibbs taking a seat while Doctor Colby poured them each a cup of coffee.
"Doctor, what treatment is planned for Anthony's condition?" Ducky asked.
"We'd like to keep him here for at least a few more days, ply him with strong anti-inflammatory medication, monitor the swelling to his brain and control his pain levels. It's likely he'll keep suffering from debilitating headaches until the swelling disappears completely," Colby said.
"What about surgery?" Ducky asked.
Colby winced in apology and shook his head. "Not an option, I'm afraid. The swelling of Tony's brain around the visual cortex presents the biggest danger to his sight. Even the most delicate surgery we can perform is likely to exacerbate that swelling and could make his condition worse."
"So, what's next?" Gibbs asked, making a face as he sipped the over-brewed sludge.
"I have a friend who's the administrator at an orientation centre for blind. It's one of the best facilities of its kind on the east coast and it's located right here in Maryland. I'm reasonably sure I could get Tony in."
"Is that necessary? You said this could be temporary!" Gibbs argued.
"I also said, it could be permanent," Colby countered. "But whether he regains his sight quickly or not at all, the sooner Tony starts to adapt to his blindness, the sooner he will start to regain his independence and his quality of life. For adults, one of the biggest challenges after becoming blind, are everyday activities such as meals, money handling, grooming, and basic housekeeping."
"And this facility will assist Anthony to gain these skills?" Ducky asked.
"All that and more. They'll teach Tony about mobility, how to travel from one place to another independently, he'll learn communication skills - including Braille and computer access technology and he'll receive training in the skills required for employment placement. Most importantly, he'll receive personal adjustment counselling and he'll liaise with other visually impaired people and learn that he is still more than capable of making a valuable contribution to society."
"So, to begin with, we would just need to arrange for Anthony to be driven to and from the facility each day," Ducky said.
"No, Doctor Mallard, this is a fully residential facility. Adult students attend classes from 8:00am to 3:00pm, Monday through Friday and reside in a seven-days a week dorm during the time of their training."
"Oh my, that may be a sticking point, with our young man," Ducky replied. "How long is the curriculum?"
"The length of training is individualised to meet student's needs but the average is six to nine months," Doctor Colby replied.
"No way!" Gibbs barked.
"Now, Jethro, I…"
"He'll never go for it, Duck! What's the point in sending him to this facility if his sight comes back in a few days or a few weeks?"
"And what if it never returns at all!" Ducky reasoned. "I know how you feel, Jethro, but we really must stop thinking about what Anthony wants and start thinking about what he needs!"
"He needs to be with people he trusts, Ducky! He needs to know he hasn't just lost everything important to him. You really think we should pack him up and send him to be with strangers?"
"Whether you're willing to admit it or not, Anthony needs fulltime care and to learn new skills that will be crucial in his transition to his new life. He needs this facility."
"I'm sorry," Doctor Colby interrupted. "I know this is a lot to take in but, believe me, it's in Tony's best interests. I'm more than happy to discuss this with him or to have the hospital counsellor drop by."
"Thank you, Doctor, but that won't be necessary," Ducky said. "That young man can be a stubborn cuss when he has a mind to be. I think that particular discussion would be better served coming from Anthony's friends."
"Whatever you wish," Colby replied. "I'll make a call to my friend at the centre and have Tony tentatively booked in."
"Just like that?" Gibbs growled, looking incredulously from Ducky to Colby. "He's blind but he's a grown man who can make his own decisions!"
"Of course, he is, Jethro!" Ducky scolded impatiently. "No-one is trying to force Anthony into anything he doesn't want to do."
"It may take a few weeks before a vacancy becomes available," Colby added. "In the meantime, it may help Tony make his decision if I can arrange for you all to tour the facility."
"That would be most helpful, thank you." Ducky said, watching as Colby reached for his beeping pager.
"I'm sorry, I need to check on another patient," the doctor said. "If Tony has any questions or if you're worried about his pain levels, just have me paged."
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The doctor's departure heightened the rare tension between the two old friends.
"It's too soon," Gibbs said.
"Jethro, you must believe me – in this instance, sooner is better."
"It's not the right time, Duck, he's barely hanging on."
"The good Lord blessed that young man with a wondrous ability to continually bend and never break," Ducky said. "This may well be his biggest test - but I, for one, am going to take a leaf from your book."
Gibbs raised a questioning eyebrow at the elderly ME.
"I'm going to put my money on DiNozzo!" Ducky said with a gentle smile.
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