"So..." Lavender Brown smirked. "Are you two dating or what?"

"WHAT!" Hermione screamed in fury. "Why would I want to touch a bloody pompous git like you?"

"You just were-"

"Be quiet!" She scrambled up quickly and flourished her wand. "Draco smirked. Even though he was lying on the ground in a tangled mess, he could still act like he was superior to every person in the world.

"Language, Granger!"

"Oh shut up! Petrificus Totalus!" Draco ducked so the curse went pass him and hit Parvati Patil. She fell to the ground, bringing Lavender with her and most likely getting a lot of scratches and bruises.

"Locomotor Mortis!" Draco threw himself to the side and crashed on the ground as her spell hit Colin Creevy and he dropped his camera. Hopping around, he tried to pick it up again but only succeeded in knocking down another bunch of students who bumped into a dining table, knocking all the silverware off and adding to the chaos.

"Confringo!" This time, he didn't get up fast enough and the end of Draco's robe burst into fire.

"So now the know-it-all bookworm has to set my clothes on fire to catch my attention?" He calmly put out the fire with a goblet of water on a nearby dining table, then glared at Hermione when he saw the charred end. "You owe me a new black robe!"

"Please, like that will ever happen. You probably imperioused me to-to-to do that horrid act, or-or maybe this is just a nightmare!" She pinched her and closed her eyes. When she opened them, she could still see every student in Hogwarts still staring at her. Her wand, pointing at Draco, started shaking a little. Draco smirked again.

"Believe me, Granger, this is not a nightmare. Expelliarmus!" He caught her wand neatly with his seeker reflexes from playing Quidditch.

"Humph. Well I don't need a wand to do this, you arrogant ferret!" She quickly stepped forward and slapped him across the face.

The Great Hall was completely silent.

"You-you disrespectful, lowly Mudblood! Furnunculous!" Poor Neville got in the way and became covered in painful boils.

"Self-centered, vain jerk! Stupefy!" Luna got hit this time and she gracefully crashed into another crowd of 4th years, making a quite impressive domino effect and knocking some logs out of the fireplace that started burning the tablecloth.

"Oh dear. Aquamenti!" Hermione put out the flames then started shrieking at Draco again.

Now Ron wasn't sure who he should curse first: Draco, for even daring to touch Hermione, or Hermione before she destroys the school trying to kill Draco or ending up in Azkaban for murder. Where was Harry when you needed him?

"At least I'm higher than you! Your family probably sleeps in a shoe box!"

"Oh, now who's being disrespectful? And my family isn't poor. My parents are dentists. They make about $100,000 yearly each!"

"….and what does that mean?"

"Never mind."

"Be thankful Pansy isn't here, or she'll kill you for even thinking of touching me!"

Pansy leaped up, then winced as her dress robe caught on the edge of a chair. "I am here! And I would kill you with my bare hands but that is way too gross and messy! Can someone please walk with me back to the dorms? I need to change into a new dress." Everyone ignored her as they were watching Draco and Hermione shoot insults back and forth like a tennis match.

"So now you have others doing your dirty work, idiotic spoiled brat! I should be the one killing you right now for sexual harassment!" Ron scratched his head, not sure what that meant. All he knew was that the words included two other bad words, so they must mean something really, really bad.

"At least you have Pothead and Weasel-"

"Levicorpus!"

Draco flew straight up and ended up dangling by one ankle, surprisingly fast since Hermione had said it so quickly and with such anger. His face started turning red with all that blood rushing to his brain, and Hermione rushed forward to punch him again in that helpless form.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!"

It seemed like Harry had brought not only Dumbledore but all of the teachers as well. After Snape release Draco with a "Liberacorpus", the yelling started again. Madame Pomfrey herded all injured students into the infirmary.

"Detention, Mister Malfoy," Snape said coldly. "I will see you later in my office."

"And you, Miss Granger!" Mcgonagall also spoke. "And 30 points off Gryffindor and Slytherin for your reckless behavior!" Dumbledore watched the punishment with a twinkle in his eye like he knew some secret no one else could ever guess, and everyone wondered what he was thinking of.

Thirty-two different scoldings and a month's detention of cleaning up the school and helping at the infirmary, and after being forced to apologize to Draco (who was still smirking) and forcing him to return her wand to her ("Let it go, Draco. It's not worth your life." Snape chided him. Draco grudgingly gave it back, thinking of how much he would enjoy her reaction if he snapped it in half) an exhausted Hermione finally returned to her room.

Luckily, only Harry and Ron were inside and they looked up anxiously from playing chess as she walked in. "You sure showed him, Hermione!"

"D' you want us to go give that Ferret the lesson he deserves?" Ron added, trying to be helpful.

"No, I'm just-"

Tap tap tap! Seeing a familiar owl, Hermione opened the window, trying to be inconspicuous so that Ron wouldn't blow up again. Looking around carefully, she tossed a treat out to the owl and grabbed the letter. Shutting the window and wincing when it banged noisily, Hermione read:

Nice acting, but next time you'll have to be more careful. I don't know who moved that armchair into the middle of the Great Hall, but don't worry! No one else will ever know. That sure surprise them, didn't it? Love you!

Hermione smiled discreetly, and swiftly wrote her reply.

You too, Draco. Meet you in the library tomorrow, same time, alright?