Lavi the PI: Christmas Special Pt. 2

::Part Two::

Disclaimer: I don't own D gray-man and all it's D gray-manness. Katsura Hoshino-sensei owns it and all its characters. I also don't own Walmart and Walgreens and their Christmas special and whatever they sell. Also I don't own any other characters that appear randomly in the stores. Characters need to Christmas shop too! Dx

We finally cracked it. We cracked the Santa case, Walmart is the almighty place to sell all their crazy Santa items. And I just know that Santa lives there himself. I still have my chummy assistant, Allen, to find out if Walgreens is the Christmas spirit store. Those commercials keep runnin through my head tellin me that Walgreens has all the seasonal items. Maybe Walmart and Walgreens are two totally different stores? Its not up to me its up to what we find and what we crack. We could have something here...

Allen and I approach the store and all its diagonalness and enter it. The first thing we see is some guy with a wide-ass smile. I flinch and he welcomes us.

"Hey cuties! My name is Jerry! Please come and shop at Walgreens! We have all the Christmasy stuff you need for your humble home!" Then he murmurs something that sounded like "better than that walmart store, hmph!"

I look at Allen who looks at me and smile with that golemn on his head. We walk in and browse around. There are a bunch of stuff here...Christmas lights, stuffed animals of that ugly-ass horse I saw back at Walmart and the snowball built-man too, even candies and Christmas trees. Allen was transfixed on the ugly horse again. He held on to it too, just what was he going to do with all those items? Buy them? And if so with what money?? Was he hiding out on me???

I was still holding the Walmart bag with the Booty Shakin Santa on my hand. It was already starting to become a burden. I would have asked Allen to hold it, but I don't trust him with anything for some reason...like he'll lose it. I have a feeling he'll probably forget we're even in Walgreens.

The golemn on his head starts flying and I freak the hell out. WHAT THE HELL MAN?? That golemn is supposed to be made out of cotton! Not real things!

"Allen...is that golemn flying or am I going crazy?" I ask wiping my eye.

"Hm? Oh, you mean Timcampy? Oh I fed him a soul pill so he can fly and stuff." He says sucking on a loli.

"Allen...soul pills exist in the world of Bleach...we're...I have no idea where the hell we are..." I say getting a bit paranoid.

A boy with golden blond hair passes by me and behind him a man in a large tin suit. My eyes get all wide and big. Holy Hell! He turns to me and he chuckles without even opening his mouth and it sounded metallic. Who the hell were these characters?

"Brother wait for me!" the man in the tin outfit squeals in his metallicness. He sounded more like a 14 year-old boy inside. What hell?

"Hurry up, Al, we need to find that present for Winry or else she'll throw me another wrench. 'Ed! You always forget to get me something!' I don't wanna hear her bitch again" says the boy with the golden hair.

Allen and I watch as they pass by and disappear by the third aisle.

"Ok now I'm officially freaked...Ok well then...back to out mission." I say bringing out my note pad.

I noticed Walgreens is a lot more calm. You could hear the music which was more calming and soft than the other one and there weren't annoying announcements like in Walmart where the person has to use the annoying PA and announce a meaningless sale on the other side of the store that by the time you get there it's all gone. I guess Walgreens is a lot more smaller than the other one where there isn't a need to use a PA but just shout and the other person could hear you. Pretty simple. I like it.

"Right, so if Walmart is the key for all Santas then what is Walgreens?" he asks pondering.

"The way I see it... Walgreens is a place for all seasonal items AND Pharmacy...but...what if they were just hidin the real deal?" I ask.

"Hmm...I never thought of it like that...maybe the seasonal items are connected with Santa's cameras? What if the Wreaths have cameras on the cherries?" says Allen.

Oh My God...Allen just may have something here...what if the wreaths DO have some sort of video device on the cherry gleam?? I've got to say that Allen is getting smarter and smarter in every mission...

"You think we should buy a wreath and test out both of them back at home?" I ask getting nervous as we're around wreaths.

"Yeah, but maybe these wreaths can gamble too..." he says.

"Bingo!" I say with a wise-ass smile.

Jerry suddenly comes up behind us with that feminine voice of his.
"Gentlemen! Have we found everything alright?" he asks.

I'm suddenly in the arms of Allen who had caught me from my spring of a startle. I get off and I clear my throat.

"Yeah, we're good here. Hey I need to ask you something, Jerry." I say in all my wise-assness.

"Yes, sir, what is it?"

"Heh, sir, Anyways...how much is this wreath here?" I ask pointing to one very mysterious one.

Jerry flips over the tag with the price on it.

"Its $2.99."

"We'll take it!" Allen says raising a fist in the air. I look over at Allen who was obviously more than excited to test this new theory of his out.

"Great! Now if you can just follow me to the cash register I'll charge that for you!" he says in all his happiness.

We follow him to the cash register and Allen takes out his wallet. I look at him with bug eyes.

"Where'd that come from??" I ask him shocked.

"Hmm? Oh...my wallet? Yeah I got paid yesterday didn't ya know? I could have bought that Booty Shakin Santa at Wal-mart with no hassle" he laughs.

My eye twitches great...I spent money on the Santa when he had money of his own...oh well its not like he gets paid a hefty load.
"Hey mister...do you have change for $100?" he asks takin out a solid crisp $100 dollar bill. I freak out instantaneously as instant as instantaneously as you can instantly get...instantly

"ALLEN??? SINCE WHEN DO CONVENIENCE STORE CLERKS GET PAID MORE THAN $100 Dollars??" I ask nearly knocking over a Christmas ornament that Jerry had on the counter.

"Uh...it was a Christmas bonus!" he says innocently.

"Yeah right! As if Kanda a pissiest of the pissiest would ever give you a bonus for just standin there and chargin the customers?!" I snap. His eyes nearly draw tears and I flinch back feeling guilty.

"Alright, alright...I'm sorry, Allen I didn't mean to..."

"I work at Burger King too!!!" he cries. I stare at him surprised.

"Yeah here's your change of $96.92!" says Jerry smiley.

Allen stopped crying and held a hand out with a smile. "Thank you!" he says like if nothing happened. "Well come on, Lavi, we need to check this theory out!" he says carrying the bags out of the store and his little golemn barely keeping up.

I turn back to Jerry and smile dispatching myself from him with a goodbye and thank you wave. I run after Allen who was already waiting in the metro benches waiting for the bus to come.

Man what a weird experience...right besides Allen is the huge armor man with his little partner. Allen is all talking to the big guy.

"Hey, sir! How's life up there?" he asks the armor man.

The armor man looks down at him. "eh heh...it's ok I guess" he said nervously laughing.

I sit next to the short boy with the blond hair who looks like he's pissy too. Man who ran over his good mood and caused a nuclear explosion in his head? He looks annoyed but then again who wouldn't be annoyed when you have to visit Walgreens and wait for the bus?

"Bitchy day, huh?" I say in a laid back voice.

"You're telling me..." he says in his annoying annoyingest of annoying annoyingness voice.
"Yeah who wouldn't when they have to sit and wait for the metro?" I say looking to my left watching if the bus is coming.

"No...it's not that...its this girl..." he says with a sigh.

"A girl huh? You can't get her or is she just a bitch?" I ask turning my head to him.

"No..." he says blushing "She just expects a lot from us..." he leans against the bench resting his back.

"NO WAY! DON'T TELL ME YOU MISSED THAT EPISODE OF LOVELESS TOO?!" cries Allen waving his arms around like he's panicking.

The short guy and I both look at them confused.

"YEAH! I HAD TO DO CHORES THAT DAY!!!" cries the armor man.

The blonde boy ran a hand from his forehead to his chin. "Alphonse and his Kitty animes..." he says to himself.

I look at him raising an eyebrow. "Uh...you do know that, that 'kitty anime' is really a shonen ai or yaoi or whatever you call them..." I say coughing.

He turns to me shocked then at Alphonse. "AL?! YOU WATCH THAT KIND OF ANIME??" he asks surprised.

I turn over to my left and the bus starts making its way towards the bus stop. The little blonde boy starts tackling his companion and Allen gets up.

"Hey you two...are you getting on the bus?" I ask them. They straighten up and stand up. Allen enters the bus first sitting on the side ones. I follow sitting next to him. The big guy and the small guy enter and sit opposite of us. Allen waves his little idiot wave and the big guy waves back. The little golemn on his head starts flyin around and the big guy suddenly freaks out.

"Yeah I was there..." I say to the big guy's expression. Funny how you can tell his expression, from underneath a suit of armor, when he has none.

The bus stops and the two get up. "Well it was nice talking with you two." Said the short blonde boy "...even though I never got a chance to talk to you mister" he says looking at Allen.

Allen just smiles at him and chuckles. "Well I'm sure if we talked more you'd find a lot of things in common."

"Yeah, I don't know why but, I bet you're right." He says. He smiles and walks off the bus his big armor companion following him and waving goodbye.

The bus takes off again. We didn't even notice WHERE the bus had stopped it was very grassy but then again there are a bunch of grassy places all over this damn crazy world.

The bus stops again and this time near our area. Thank god we finally got off that bus. It was startin to hurt my ass from all the bumps. I was startin to wonder if the bus driver was on crack or something maybe a monkey drivin the bus a very pissy monkey who probably bought a lottery ticket and was getting really hyped over the thought that he won the lottery only to be joked by his friend the ape saying it was only a fake lotto and he wound up goin bananas.

We got off paying the 75 cents before setting foot off the bus. We walked in to my house and sat on the couch. Allen looked like he had eaten a lot of food and was full. His golemn stopped flying and rested on his head. I set the Wreath on the door and the booty shakin Santa on top of the T.V. now we waited.

The booty Shakin Santa looks at us with its beady little eyes like as if It could start dancing all of a sudden. The wreath was just there...hangin from the door. The cherries gleaming from the little light we had inside.

"So...have we come to a conclusion yet, Allen? What do you suspect?" I ask him with a hand on my chin.

"Our only guess is to wait till Christmas..." says Allen and all his smartnesssss. I never would have thought of that!

"I mean...this WILL prove if Santa is watching us through the Booty Shakin Santa or the Cherries from the Wreath. I think we should put one in your room and another in mine...SHOT GUN ON BOOTY SHAKIN SANTA!!" he suddenly says.

I snap my fingers in Dammit. And I take the wreath to my room. Funny how suddenly he's living in my house...when the hell did he move in?? but I wasn't about to ask he's a good companion. I still need to feed the panda.

"Well...now we wait for Christmas..." he says running in his room. I hung the wreath in my room. It seems like this case won't be solved till Christmas which is a long way from now...hopefully it will come to a dramatic conclusion.

SECOND DISCLAIMER: I don't own Ed and Al from the Fullmetal Alchemist series nor the Bleach name.

Note from the Author: Hey...I'm sorry about this...I know I started this like...last year! xD and I never had a chance to continue it :x I was loosing taste but then I remembered about you all who actually read this. It's something you guys are awesome! Please do stay tuned to the next one it's full of adventure! :3

- Armor for Sleep92(Alaska is Cold)