Lavi the PI: Teen Movies
Disclaimer: I do not own -man. Katsura Hoshino-sensei owns them and their characters. I also don't own the other characters that appear in this fan fic. They all belong to their respective owners. Characters from Death Note, Bleach and Fullmetal Alchemist belong where they belong. They just so happened to come across my mind when I was thinking up this fan fic :] So don t blame me XD.
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They say teenager years are the best there is. The fact is when you re old and have Alzheimer's then you wouldn't really remember exactly how they were. Like Panda at home who doesn't even remember my real name. Pheh...Lavi. His bookman years may later come to an end but that's why I m here to continue his bookman successnessess. OF THE TOPIC HERE. Twilight seems to be big. Movie theaters went sold out at the midnight release all over the United States now it s time for it to get here. Here we ll finally see what's so great about it and how come it's so popular. I m bringing with me my ever so chummy assistant to help me decide what is going on, him being a teenager and all.
Allen jumps around the bus as we're getting there. Yeah the same stinky bus we went on last time with the cranky-ass crazy bus driver that drives 80 on 30. Despite him going in an insanely fast speed, Allen still jumps around. All the chaos is making me nervous. What the crap is this guy's problem? The bus driver makes a frequent stop and we fly out towards the pavement. How the hell we got out so damn quick? I wouldn't question anime fan fiction physics.
I stand up and stare at the movie entrance. Allen never fell flat on his face he thought of a counter jump before he got on like as if he planned this, while I fall face first onto the dry, cracked, cementy pavement. He tuns to the box office and waits there patiently for me, bobbing up and down. I sigh. Just how excited is HE to watch Twilight? I heard only girls watched it and it would be a miracle if a guy ever really liked it, but I guess Allen is a giant question mark in my head. I have a feeling I'm not going to like this movie and I m just gonna walk out regretting the $13 I wasted on it.
"Come on, Lavi! I've read the book already! I wanna see the movie!" he freaks.
"Alright, alright, already sheesh keep your shirt on please" I say taking my wallet out as I approach the box office.
The girl in the booth immediately puts down her magazine in a frenzy.
"What?! Allen has no shirt on?!" she searched around only to realize it was just a figment of her imagination.
I look at Allen who s looking at me with a "WTF" face. The girl has round glasses and pigtail braids with a Chinese accent.
Lo Fwa? I didn't know she worked as a box office ticket person. I didn't dare ask her instead I ask what I need more.
"Two tickets to 'What the hell are you doing here?' I-I mean 'Twilight'." I shook my head wow great not only did I ask what the hell she was doing here, I asked for Twilight tickets for Allen and I people are gonna suspect something and that just sickened me
She smiles and gives me the two tickets blushing at Allen.
"Oh this is just part time to get more money for books and studies. I really want to go to headquarters." She says with dreamy eyes fixed on Allen.
As always Allen is oblivious to everything he's paying attention to an ad than Lo Fwa's confession to him.
"Hey! CATS is coming! We need to go!" he says excitedly.
Lo Fwa falls back ignored. I snatch Allen and we enter the theater with the tickets. Before we walk into the screening room, Allen spots the concession stand.
"Oh, oh! FOOD!" he says almost starvingly.
"Oh, no if you re getting food you re buying it on your own." I say being the sour person that I am.
"Okay" he says and then runs to the counter.
"I want nachos, 2 hot dogs, a box of Milk duds, an extra large tub of popcorn, a bag of gummy bears, TWO bags of gummy worms, a super slurper Icee, an extra juicy pickle, two burritos, three slices of pizza, and a giant Iced Tea." He asks the tender.
My mouth opens from all the food he ordered. What the hell? Was he going to feed that damned golemn on his head or what?! Counting the fact that it chews on EVERYTHING even Allen s hair. The tender struggles to get everything for Allen even if Allen wasn't the rushy type. Maybe he was intimidated by that eye of his.
Allen walks next to me with the mountain of snacks and food.
"Are you done?" I ask annoyed.
He slurps his Iced Tea and nods. I m not even about to ask how he had so much for all that. Maybe he's hiding out on me again
We enter the screening room where it s practically full of people with popcorn and candy and soda. You could hear them munching and talking about the movie before it's even starting.
We sit near the middle since Allen practically ran there. I could see a really blonde girl just below my seat with long hair. She was joined by her friend with short brown messy hair. They were giggling about the movie.
Just above us was another girl with blonde hair and pigtails. Next to her a girl with long orange hair somehow my eye wandered to her chest and my eye grew I turned back with Allen and my face must have been red or something cause he turned to me with a "What s wrong?" face. I ignored it and stared at the screen. He shrugged and continued munchin' on his popcorn.
The previews started and everyone settled down. Then finally when all the previews were done then started the movie. Allen was at the edge of his seat. All his popcorn sat in the seat next to him. And so it started. The flash of a deer running through the forest and someone or something is following it. The random flashes made me dizzy, what the hell, then finally the creature-no wait it's a person! I could have sworn I saw a jacket! What the hell! I though this movie drank HUMAN blood?! This could be interesting...
*Two hours of Twilight movie later *
The lights turned on as the ending credits began appearing. Wow I've got to say, me being the manly one here I really liked this movie! Allen and I were making our way out and he threw the empty cartons of food in the dumpster. Once we exited...
"That movie was awesome!"
"That movie sucked"
I looked at Allen who was finishing off his Iced Tea.
"It didn t really go with the book at ALL he threw the soda away. So many good parts were taken away and madem' sucky. Like Jacob!" he flailed his arms around. "He was supposed to come out a whole butt load of times, and they didn't even show when he and Bella went out for the first time or when he had fever and turned into a werewolf!"
"Jacob's a werewolf?"
"Exactly my point!"
"Well I guess this is a lot better than reading a book the size of a dictionary that's why I have the old panda at home!" I just then thought of something. "HOLY BUTT FUDGE!"
"Ewww"
"I need to feed the old panda his marshmallows with butter and fruity pebbles!" I freaked.
The girl with blonde hair that I had seen just below us in the theaters had gone out the same way we did pulling out a cellphone and screaming in it.
"EDWARD! Answer your damn phone! I know you re trying to avoid me! Now get your ass over here and pick me up, Pronto!" she hanged up noticing we were staring at her bipolarness.
She blushed a bit and apologized.
"Sorry It's just my friend is being so mean." She laughed nervously.
We both nodded in sync suddenly her phone rang with the ring tone Decode from Paramore.
"Hello? Edward! Where the hell have you been?! What? No bars at Peter Pipers?! What the hell are you doing there without me?! Fine! I ll just take the bus home, you wouldn't care if I got raped by a random man! What? I m tougher than that? AHH" she hung up.
She turned to us again and blushed.
"Can you believe this man?! He doesn't answer his phone, that jerk!" she said pissy. She beat Kanda's pissy pissiness of the pissiest. Oh well...
She calmed herself down and looked at us a bit embarrassed. "Sorry, um, I'm Winry Rockbell. I hope I didn't act like a complete fool in front of you two." She laughed nervously.
"Don t worry, Miss Winry, You don't have to apologize. We do our fair share of really stupid things here and there..." a flashback of me running from the 100 birds popped in my head.
"HEY WHAT S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?! THAT WAS NOT STUPID! I DIDN'T KNOW THOSE BIRDS WERE AFTER ME CAUSE THERE WAS A DAMN CHIP IN MY HAIR!" I snap loudly at nothing.
"Um...Lavi? Who you talking to? Miss Winry is over here and you're looking at nothing" says Allen with a "wtf" tone.
I look over at Allen and laugh nervously then look over at Winry. "I'm sorry, Miss, Just really bad memories stupid ones" I say nervously.
"Uh...huh...Okay then" she says with a fake smile maybe thinking I m a crazy psycho path talking to nothing.
"I'm sorry to ask this but is there any way I can maybe ask for a ride?" she asked embarrassed.
Allen and I both look at each other. Allen smiles and looks back at her. Sure my ride should be here in a moment he says. Just then I look at him with a "WHAT?!" face. I noticed his golemn thing wasn't around.
"What do you mean your RIDE?!" I ask shocked.
"Yeah I have a Lamborghini Timcampy's on his way over with it" he smiles.
I look at him feeling like I m about to crack from shockness a million things that could have pilled up in my head went straight to the recycle bin.
Just as he said that a screech was hear and the bright luminescent front lights came over to us. The car, black-silver Lamborghini stopped just before us. I look over at Allen who had a calm face. The doors shot up and Timcampy was driving.
Winry stared at the car with awed eyes. There is no way, no possible way, Allen can buy a car this sweet and awesome working at a friggen Seven Eleven store and a Burger friggen King he'd been saving since he was a baby in order to get THAT rich. Either that or his real parents finally manned enough to give him child support.
Allen holds the door up and makes a hand gesture for her to enter the car. She looks at it with sparkles in her eyes. Has she ever heard of a Lamborghini before? Maybe even a car?? Or was it that this car made her remember about the part in Twilight where Edward came for Bella in an amazing speed. She sits in the car and Allen closes the door down.
I get in and before I could even buckle myself in Timcampy took off like a speeding bullet. Allen was inside laughing the whole time while I was holding on for dear life. This Lamborghini was weird though. It had two back seats and I could hear the motor in the back roaring. It was a good thing the windows were up then the air would come blasting in and hitting us like a Wal-Mart. Allen would prolly have an orgasm again eww.
That Winry girl was enjoying it. It's a good thing she was by herself cause if she wasn't then It'd be a different story. The girl'd prolly be strapped to the roof of the car...poor girl. Tim makes a sudden stop. Allen and I crash our heads to the seat in front of us. We were so dazed we didn't even know where he had stopped. Winry got out of the car and shook her head. She turns to us and smiles.
"Thanks for giving me a ride I probably would have been walking home alone." She says.
"No problem ma'am, I think we stopped by here one time dropping off two boys in a crazy bus the other day. All I know is there was a short kid with blonde hair and a big metal guy who I know his name is Al. Maybe you know of them" he smiles.
Winry cracks a bit. "WHAT?! YOU DROPPED THOSE TWO OFF HERE LAST TIME?!" she screamed blowing Allen s hair back.
"Oh so you know them!"
"Yes, I know them! The short kid is Edward! The one I was yelling to on the phone and the big guy is his little brother!" he snapped quietly.
"Ohh now I get the picture. Well since you know them..." Allen searched his pocket and brought out a paper. "Give this to them and tell them to call us some time when they want something to be solved. We re bored most of the time doing all sorts of ridiculous things to feed off the bordomness. OH! And do tell Al that I got the box set to Loveless so we can watch it together sometime!" says Allen in an excited tone.
Winry looks at him with a "wtf?" look and takes the paper. I jump to the front seat and stick my head out.
"Yeah, that Loveless anime is exactly what you think, a shonen-ai" I say leaning back on the seat.
Winry chuckles nervously.
"Don t worry darlin' you won't have to watch it if they give him a call." I say like the laid back person I am.
"Well, see ya later, miss Winry. Don t worry about the ride it was our pleasure." Says Allen sitting back in his seat.
"Take care, sweetie. I say closing the door." Tim takes off like a speeding bullet again and this time I was quick to buckle my seat belt.
"Man, Tim, in a hurry much?" I say feeling like I m in the Starship 3000 that crazy alien spaceship in carnivals where they spin you 100 mph.
I turn back to Allen who is still enjoying it. "This still doesn't get you off the hook for how the hell you got so much money to by a Lambor-freaken-ghini. Burger King and Seven Eleven aren't going to save you this time" I say annoyed.
Allen laughs nervously and rubs the back of his head.
"Yeah IT WAS TIMCAMPY!" he yells.
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Note from the Author: Sorry about chapters being so late q___q. I had so much trouble trying to ignore my laziness. And I'm losing Lavi's PIness! Need to watch more robot chicken. Well enjoy this! The next one includes Loveless w so i'm pretty sure i will be done with that as soon as i can!