Lavi the P.I.: Allen the P.I.

Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-man or any of its characters. Katsura Hoshino-sama owns them all. I'm merely borrowing them. I mean seriously if I owned it this would have been like an ova segment or a filler in the manga or anime or novel…

They think I'm a moron, nutcase with the attention span of an eye booger, but they don't know nothin…just some white haired teen working at a 7 Eleven gas and convenience store, basically what you see everyday right? Well Lavi thought I was strange the first time he saw me workin' there. Like he'd never seen a white-haired teen workin' at a 7 Eleven store. I can tell by the way he was lookin' at me. A strange look, I just hope he wasn't lookin' at me the wrong way 'cause man…I don't roll that way. I saved him from a hoard of pissy birds just before anyone could notice what an idiot he was. The whole time, he didn't know he had a chip in his hair, and he calls himself a P.I.? This time I'm being the P.I. in this episode. I'm asking the world's toughest question. "What would you do for a Klondike Bar?" Several have heard of it…no THOUSANDS of people have heard of it, but only a few can answer.

I put my black regular coat on. Feelin' smooth today. Goin' to ask a smooth question. Gonna be a Smooth Criminal.

Lavi's obviously at the Conoco station right across from my 7 Eleven job. Tryin' to piss Kanda off. We all know Lenalee works there. She's the biggest competition we got, her and her oblivious nature…Let's see what her answer is when I pop the question?

I open the door to the Conoco store the little bell ringin'. SHHHH Tryin' to do this secretly, damnit. Lavi turns to me havin' his flirty face turn to an annoyed face. He knows I wouldn't step foot in a Conoco store just for nothin'

"Whats up, Allen?" he asks all casual and cool. Man… What a womanizer.

"I'm here to ask Miss Lee a question...I need to pop the question…" I say going to the freezer.

Lenalee blushes and Lavi has that shocked look on his face. I take something out of the freezer and walk towards Lenalee with my hand behind my back. I reach the counter and lean in. Lavi still hasn't moved from his shocked state. Lenalee blushes deeper and has a confused and shocked face like Lavi.

"Miss Lenalee Lee…will you…"

Just with that the sound of an exploding bomb came from another room behind Lenalee a psychotic man in a white beret jumped out and grasped Lenalee in a hug. Komui.

"ALLEN!!! What do you think you're doing?!" screams Komui as he cried over Lenalee.

"It can't be helped, Komui, I need to ask her this very important question…unless you'd like me to ask YOU, Komui." I say rolling my attention over to him.

He stops confused.

"Are you outta your mind?!" he screams.

Jeez…just what ARE with these people anyways?? All I wanna do is ask em' a simple question!

"Look, Komui, I'm gonna ask Miss Lenalee a VERY important question and I'm going to ask her whether you like it or not!" I roared.

"Miss Lenalee! Will you…"

Tension was filled in the room Komui was ready to jump in at any moment and Lavi had yet to move.

"Will you…tell me…What would you do for a Klondike Bar?" I asked in all my seriousness.

A loud thud was heard behind me.

"I OBJECT!!!" screams Komui "There is no way, NO WAY, MY LENALEE WILL-huh?"

Lenalee's blush went away.

Just what the hell did they think I was gonna ask her? The answer to a million doller question??

Lenalee's blush came back, embarrassed much? Thinking?

"Wait don't tell me THAT was the question you were gonna ask my Lenalee?!" asked Komui.

I turned to him interrupted.

"Uh…YEAH! What else did you think I was gonna ask? Her number? Her status?" I say sarcastic.

"What about the thing behind you?" he asks.

I pull it out. It was a Klondike Bar I turn to Lenalee.

"I need an answer, at least…" I say seriously.

She looks over at Lavi who is passed out on the ground. She turns to Komui.

"Brother, there was someone who said I was a flirtatious and incredibly sexy girl and it really made me feel uneasy…can you please kick his bum for me?" she asked teary and with an arm crossing her chest in a fist.

In an instinct he ran off. A chainsaw buzzing out of nowhere, yelling. "I'LL KILL HIM!!!"

My glance wondered over to Lavi, Million dollars and my Lamborghini that HE was the one who said that.

Lenalee looked to see if Komui was distracted then kneeled down to Lavi and kissed his lips tenderly, running a hand across his cheek and hugging his unconscious body gently. My eyes widened. What the hell? Does she have feelings for Lavi? I sure hope this is just for the Klondike Bar. I-I mean it's not like I'm INTERESTED in her or anything…ha ha…you're just flippin' patties…

She blushed and then stood up her face flushed in pink.

"And THAT'S what I would so for a Klondike Bar."

"Anything else?" I ask kinda nervous.

She glared to the side a bit.

She may be cute, but that STILL doesn't make me fall for her…I know that's her motive…_;

"Alright I see you put on quite a display there…"

I hand her over the Klondike bar and walk over to Lavi who had missed what could have been the opportunity of a life time to fake sleep and witness the kiss of his crush…too bad he was passed out…

Lenalee started nibbling on the Klondike Bar. I give her a dollar for the bar. After all I haven't paid for it yet.

I pick Lavi up and put his arm around my shoulder and carry his ass out of there before Komui sniffs Lenalee's kiss on his lips.

I head over to my Lamborghini and lay him in the back seat. I'm glad Tim brought it over when we really need it. Though Tim didn't feel the need for speed so he drove slow…I'd say maybe 100 mph. This probably could have been the best day ever for Lavi now only if he was conscious. I sit down and let Tim drive. Such a good golemn.

"Tim take us to the Mall…I need to ask Lo Fwa a question."

Tim turns to me and shakes his little body pushing the petal to his slowest speed ever. 100 mph.

We get at the mall at a staggering 5 seconds when we could have gotten here in half a second. I get out of the car. I don't even bother tryin' to wake up Lavi. He probably got the wrong idea back there. Man what a fellow.

I head into the mall the theater not so popular tonight. Lo Fwa's readin' the sequel to Eclipse from the Twilight saga. Man…sometimes I wonder if books with vampires get people to read more than they have ever had…

I stop before the box office. She reads her book and her ear phones are plugged into her so far in they could reach her ear drums. She looks up bored and her eyes start sparkling. She pulls the ear plugs out and sets the book aside. Hella happy, much?

"ALLEN! What brings you here? You here to see a movie or you here to see SOMEONE?" she says putting emphasis on the 'someone'.

I cough. Her excited nature is just too much sometimes.

"I'm here to ask you a question, Lo Fwa…" I say leaning in lookin' serious.

She blushes deeply like Lenalee only more sparkles. Jeez whats the matter with these girls? Do they think I'm going to ask them out on a date or what? I'm far too busy counting ducks than going out with some enamored girl. Then it suddenly hit me. Is that the reason Komui nearly attacked me? Because he thought I was gonna take Lenalee and ask her out? I think back to what I said. I didn't notice…I have to make it less like an engagement and more like a random question.

"You think we can talk over a cup of tea? I'd really love to ask you a question I know you will love." I say with a smile. Crap.

She jumps in her seat and giggles blushing to her knees. She hides her mouth and nose with her hands together making an arch over them. Just what the hell does she think I'm going to ask her?? Damn…this is going to be the last time I ask a question like this…it only complicates things…It almost looked like she couldn't breathe..

"OF COURSE!!!" she freaks.

I take a step back; she could have bumped into me if it weren't for the glass wall standing between us.

"I have a break in 5 minutes, I'll meet you at Starbucks ok?!" she says almost screaming. She closes the box office and I feel sweat coming down my forehead. I might as well just meet her at Starbucks I really need to ask her that question. I might as well just go.

I arrive at Starbucks.

Mmmm French Vanilla….

I sit at a table and pull out my iPhone. 10 bucks if Lavi was here he'd wonder where I got the money to buy it. Well I have my secrets. And I'm not about to say them or think them out loud. Sometimes a guy needs to have his secret place or his secret or his magic.

I see Lo Fwa she practically pushes people to get here. Halling ass to sit in the table I'm sitting at. She blushes and sits down catching her breath. I slurp a little more of my cappuccino and wait for her to catch her breath.

"Ok…so what were you going to ask me?" she asks getting her cappuccino.

"Well…this question has been lingering in my mind for a while. Hell…I'll just spill it out."

She leans in blushing.

"What would you do for a Klondike bar?" I ask with a smile.

"I WOULD LOVE TO BE YOUR-huh?" she stops and glances at me her jaw open.

"What did you say??" she asked.

"What would you do for a Klondike bar?" I ask again more questiony.

"Is that really what you were gonna ask me?" she asked nearly disappointed.

"Yeah! That's all I need to know!" I ask serious.

She stares at me for a while tryin' to find some sort of chuckle or something maybe? Then she got up and threw her hot friggen cappuccino on me.

AH WHAT THE FRENCH TOAST!!

I get up soaking and burning hot. She runs off upset. What the hell is her problem?? Forget her…I head out to the Lamborghini. Tim was hovering over Lavi.

"Tim? What are you-…" I stop and stare and I try not to laugh.

Tim moved away and revealed Lavi's face written on with black permanent marker. A black colored in mustache, a colored in uni-brow, and the words "poop balls" written on his forehead.

Man, Timcampy can really pull a prank. I completely forgot about my aching burns.

"Tim, lets go home, I'm done with being a P.I. I'll leave this job for Lavi. He can go through this better than I can." I say sittin' on the front passenger seat.

Tim hovers over to the drivers seat and pushes the petal. This time he goes as fast as he could. We got back to the house in less than half a second. Leaving Lavi's body crashing against the back of my seat. He groans and wakes up.

"What the forgotten fudge nut?? Where are we?" he asks dazed.

"Home…the days over, Lav…you can have your job back" I say with a smile.

"Whoa, Allen, when did your hair turn brown?" he asked surprised.

I look up the cappuccino stained my hair. Hey at least I won't be going around with white hair. Awww and I was starting to feel proud of being a white haired guy.

This day ended without my question fully answered. What would you do for a Klondike bar can get pretty personal. Maybe I should never really ask it anymore.

The End

ITS STILL NOT THE END!!

Oh ok…

STILL not The End.

Note from the Author:

Gosh! It's been a while since I continued this one! But I'm already 25% done with the next chapter. So until then laterz !
Oh and tell me what you think about this one I was kinda "eh..." about it...