Lavi the P.I.: Halloween Movie Pt. 1

Disclaimer: The anime featured in this fan fiction are in no way connected or created by me. They were created by their creators of course. -man belongs to Katsura Hoshino-sama. Thank you.

Halloween, heh? Sounds like a holiday we can get used to. Kids goin door to do askin for candy with their little costumes. Heh. I'll admit those little tykes are quite cute with their little pumpkin outfits and ladybug outfits. The ones I'll look forward though are the adult costumes…hmm…I wonder what Lenalee has in store for her…A-any ways there doesn't seem to be any investigations to start with so Allen and I just sit our asses down and watch scary movies. I feel bad for the kid. He doesn't feel like trick or treating? Maybe I'll treat him to some trick or treating later on and see how that goes…

Sit my ass down to watch a zombie movie, I rented. Allen flinches at the cover. What a wuss. Can't take the epicness of this legit shit? Sit your ass down and be a man! I tell him. He looks at me with that mega uke face of his. What a catcher. He as to be something more than just a pretty face…I slap myself silly…did I just call him a pretty face? The hell is wrong with me? I need to see Lenalee today…hopefully his psychotic brother isn't on the loose today.

Allen senses that I wanna go out somewhere and he runs into his room. I freeze in my steps with my "oh snap what the hell is he going to do" face and I stand there waiting. About 5 minutes pass and the door opens. I look intently towards the door and he comes out in a two piece suit. He painted another scar on his cheek, a short shirt and pants. Oh my god. He is cosplaying Haseo. I freeze for a moment and he looks at me with his "did I do something wrong?" face. I shake my head a little. He's only 15 I gotta remember that. Well as long as he doesn't embarrass me in front of my dear Lenalee…I'm good.

"Come on, sport, we needa take you trick-or-treating…and go to the convenience store." I say in all my badassness.

"Hmm as long as I can kill some pkks!" he says in all his enthusiasticness.

"…yeah…sure…pkkk some candy and get your ass over to the convenience store. My precious awaits!" I say in my most annoyingest of annoyingness voice.

He takes off ahead of me into the Lamborghini and that's when I notice…oh snap..it will only take a matter of seconds before Tim will fly to it and hall ass out of there. I hall ass to the car and throw myself in the backseat and put myself in a fetal position waiting for the impact of the time as it flings me in the back seat like a really bouncy ball in the dryer. Allen looks at me from his seat as he hunches over the head rest with a "wth is your problem?" I look up at him slightly cautious.

"Has the demon sped?" I ask in my askyness.

"We're here already…" I look out the window and we're still at home. Tim looks over his shoulder with a grin from horn to horn his tail pressing against the gas making the car roar with life. Allen grins and jumps back to his seat and the drying action begins.

I jump around in the back seat hitting everything. Oh holy firetruck. The drying action only lasts for 5 seconds before it stops and I hit the roof of the car.

"MOTHER EFFER!" I hold the top of my head. Allen jumps out of the car flingin his hair back in the most dramatic way ever. You're not Tamaki. I get off and I notice there's a bump on my head…blimey…but then I see the convenience store and I have a smile that could light up a disco town.

I run in and let Allen do his thing outside with the trick-or-treating. The bell rings and I see the beautiful creature standing by her cashier. She looks over to me and the whole place looks pink, like we got sucked into a vortex of pure pink and sprinkles…what a shojo. She's wearing a costume. Holy shiz. It's a pink long dress with a small pink hat nearly covering her left eye. Her pigtails are extremely long and it looks like she's going to a ball to see if they can find the real Jack the Ripper who turns out to be some woman loving, wine loving, art loving, and fancy loving doctor who auctions people and their organs underground instead of being the real Jack the Ripper. ...wth was all that? It just came out of nowhere…

I shake my head a bit and walk up to her smiling like a boss. She smiles at me in her cute little smile of hers. K-k-kawaii…I cough and lean on the counter.

"Nice dress you got there." I say in all my awesomeness.

She giggles that cute orgasmic cute giggle. "Thank you. I made it myself. I'm supposed to be cosplaying as-"

"Excuse me where are the rest rooms?"asks a dumb-ass kid who ran into the store and impolitely ruined our conversation.

"Oh, down this aisle to your right at the back. There's a sign for any gender you can't miss it." She smiles.

"Thank you, so much! And nice cosplay!" he runs back and I stare at him in a glare…I WAS COMPLIMENTING HER ABOUT HER DAMN DRESS, PRICK.

I turn back at Lenalee and continues to smile. She looks so beautiful in that dress I can't even stop saying that in my mind.

"So you got someone to-" then a tall man stands beside her. He's clad in black and he's glaring at me.

I flinch and step back a bit. WHO THE HELL IS HE?

"Oh hello, Sebastian-niisan." Says Lenalee as she turns to see what I was looking at. He brings out a pair of glasses and puts them on.

"LAVI WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? YOU GOING TO BUY SOMETHING? OR GIT THE HELL OUT" He says in a crazy tone.

I freak out for a moment then I calm my jets. It's Komui as a waiter?...no…a servant?...no…a groom?

"Haha, Lavi this is Komui he's my cosplay butler" she smiles.

"A butler…right."

"I'm not JUST a butler…I'm a ONE HELL OF A BUTLER." He says pushing his glasses up. "Now are you going to buy something or are you going to get out?"

"Heh…is that threatening your customer, Mr. Butler manager? I'll just take my business back to the 7/11 gas station right across. I'm pretty sure Kanda might have missed me." I say opening the door, the little bell ringin, to leave the store. Not even a step outside the convenience store I hear Kanda from the other side of the street scream:

"NO." and a loud slam of the door almost window shattering.

I keep my foot in the Conoco station and shove my hands in my pocket. "What I tell ya? He misses me, poor guy."

Only seconds later Allen barges in catching his breath.

"-pant-SOMETHING-pantpant-IS TRYING-pantpant-TO GET-pantpant-ME-pant-" he says obviously out of breath.

Everyone looks at him like he's crazy or cried wolf.

"Allen..there's nothing anymore…what was it? A little kindergarden trick-or-treater?" I snort in all my snortyness.

"NO-pant- IT WAS ZOMBIE LIKE! I SWEAR!-pant- I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP!-pant- I KNOW THERE ARE TIMES WHEN I DO STUPID SHIZ BUT THIS TIME I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP OR PLAYING WITH YOU GUYS. THIS IS SERIOUS…THERE ARE REAL ZOMBIES OUT THERE!-PAAANT-"

We all look at each other and wonder if he's really telling the truth. I open the door to take a gander outside. The place is dead silent.

"See Allen? There's nothing for you to worry about, there is no one out there!" says Komui and all his Komuiness.

"B-but!"

"Yes everyone has a bum, no need to-"

"No, hold on, Komui…I think Allen is on to something.."I say in all my Scooby-Doo reference. "It IS Halloween…"

"Right and that means it might be a hoax from teenage kids." Says Komui.

"Yeah…but where are the kids?" I say seriously.

The room grows silent, only the sound of Allen's bones chattering in fear. Lenalee has that look of concern and that's when I realize something is wrong here. It's time for us to put away all games and jokes. This time we've got a case that could save our lives.

"Hah, Lavi…Don't you think you're over reacting? I mean we've yet to even see a-" just before he could finish the glass breaks from somewhere in the back. What the hell was that?

"Didn't a boy come in to use the toilet?" asked Lenalee putting an arm across her chest in fear mode.

I brought my mini hammer out of my pocket giving it a second appearance throughout the entire fan fiction to use as a bat in case it was a zombie or a burglar. You can never be too careful. I make my way towards the back wielding the hammer like a gun in my hands. I peek into the dark hallway. It's so quite you could hear a hair drop I'm amazed the guys in front haven't said anything. I guess they're too interested to hear me scream in victory. I think about it…I would be showing my bravery to my dear Lenalee! She'll totally dig me!

I stop to the feeling of me stepping on something squishy. I look down the darkness was kind enough to let me see what I had just stepped on. It was a hand.

I stumble back a bit flipping my phone on to see the guy who had run back here dead. Though by the looks of it his skin looked like it had been lying there for months…but it's only been 20 minutes! I look up to see what made the shattering noise and the window to the bathroom was broken and blood remained on the broken glass.

I squat down to inspect the cause of death and I notice his head had a giant bite mark right on the forehead. What the hell! Suddenly I head Lenalee scream and I release the guy's head letting it hit the floor. I turn back at the hallway and run towards it trying to see what just happened.

Lenalee hid behind a produce shelf while Allen and Komui threw whatever they could at the incoming heard of decaying flesh that was limping towards them.

No way…where the hell did these zombies come from? Why is this happening? All I know is I have to protect Lenalee, Allen and even Komui…

Zombies were coming in from the hand fulls glass was breaking and we were growing surrounded and fast! All private investigator aside…it's time to use it.

"Allen! We've got to break fanfiction plot!" I scream at him. He looks at me with a concerned look. Lenalee looks up with a concerned look herself and she knew what was going down.

"We've got to use…that!" I order.

"Right!"

I fling out my little hammer and with both hands I summon it.

"Big hammer, little hammer. Grow, Grow, GROW!" and with that I completely wipe out one side of the zombie attack making one side of the store spontaneously explode.

Allen unleashes his parasite innocence. "I know these are for killing demons but these are an act of demonic activity!" he says and punts another wave of zombies.

"These boots are made for walking!" she bashed the last wave of zombies approaching her.

"No they're made for killing…." Says Allen turning to her.

"Oh yeahhhh…"says Lenalee and all her Teh Exorcist reference.

Our hands were tied killing off the zombies we left Komui defenseless. He was throwing coffee mugs at them like knifes to the forehead. They were falling one by one but they were coming by the hundreds. One zombie was about to bite him when a flying sword sliced through the zombie like cheese.

"Hmph. Just like you Komui…can't take care of your own damn self." Said a bitch-ass voice. Oh hell...It's Squidward.

"KANDA!" we all say.

[ END OF PART 1]

Note from the Author:

I thought I should give you all a little treat for Halloween seeing as you've been waiting. I won't let you wait any longer! I finally have time to write more and I promise you this..the second part won't take long at all! Be back soon and I hope you all enjoyed this little fan fic. I hope you catch the anime reference coming up. O wo