I didn't know what to do. I couldn't explain my feelings. I loved Stefan, but do I still love him? Do I even love Damon, or are things just bad with Stefan and I'm using Damon as a backup? I couldn't do it. It hurt too much.

I sat up in my bed for the rest of the night. It was about 4 in the morning and I needed help, I couldn't stay like this. I went into Jeremy's room and woke him. Instead of getting mad, he could see in my eyes that I actually needed his help. He sat up, opened his arms and embraced me, just hugging me while I cried in his arms. We didn't speak, he was just there for me.

"What's wrong Elena, whose vampire ass do I need to kill?" Jeremy asked trying to cheer me up.

I looked up at his smirk, rolling my eyes. "I fucked everything up Jerr, I don't know what I want, I can't decide..."

He could see that I was truly in pain, but he had no idea what I was talking about. "Elena, you're gonna need to explain this to me from the beginning." He wanted details and I had to give them to him, I needed to let everything out.

As I started to explain everything to Jeremy I started to realize something. As I was going through everything I had remembered between Damon and I, I realized that he actually loved me, he might love Rose right now, but the love he had for me, couldn't be over, it was too strong. Damon was just trying to be nice, to be unselfish, he was handing me right over to his brother in order to do the right thing. Just as he had done that night when he thought he had compelled me. I knew it, I knew I had to be right. He had to come back to me, he has to come back...

I started to feel a lot better, but still finished explaining everything to Jeremy. When I was finished, Jeremy looked surprised. "What?" I asked.

"Nothing, just... you never mentioned anything about Stefan... What's that about?" I gave him a puzzled look, so he continued. "I may not hear everything, but you totally left out what just happened with Stefan in your room, which I completely overheard. Usually, you would tell me about that, especially when explaining this kind of story."
I still looked puzzled, but he was right, I hadn't mentioned Stefan, and both Jeremy and I knew exactly what my brain had unintentionally told me. I loved Damon. "I love Damon...? I do love Damon." It was weird saying it out loud, before, I had been unsure of myself, but now I was sure, and with Stefan out of the picture...but Stefan wasn't out of the picture, and neither was Rose...

I was practically killing myself with these thoughts, all I knew was that I was in love with Damon. And Stefan, I would have to think about later, because I loved him in a friendly way, but things lately have not been working out.

Jeremy was just sitting there, me in his arms, him watching me think. Then he spoke, "You know I am not for Damon, nor will I ever be, but I want what's best for you, and right now, you want him. So go get him."

I wanted to take Jeremy's advice, I really did. But I didn't want to hurt anyone, so I figured I would take a break from all this craziness and just go to sleep. I kissed Jeremy goodnight and was off to sleep. This had been one crazy night. As soon as my head hit the pillow, sleep overcame me.

I awoke with a horrible feeling, like someone was here, someone I didn't want. But I couldn't worry about that right now, all I could think about was my crazy dream, and my crazy reality. All I could remember from my dream was me, lying on my bed, writing in my journal, almost like a replay of that night. But what I was writing about was not just me and Stefan, it was me, Stefan, and Damon...

For me, it had always been who to choose, but in this dream, I didn't have to choose, I had both... This both shocked and scared me. I was becoming selfish, even crazy. Something was clearly wrong with me.

But the dream didn't end there. I was writing in my journal, laying on my bed with my bra and underwear on, a little sexy for a usual night. When Stefan and Damon appeared through my window. All I remember was making out with Damon while Stefan was licking my neck, making me moan with pleasure as these perfect beings satisfied everything I had ever dreamed of. I laid back and thought about that dream, fantasizing Damon teasing me, licking around my hard nipples while Damon stuck his fingers in my tight pussy making me scream their names. I remember pushing Damon's head right into my clitoris making me crazy with pleasure. But as I was fantasizing this amazing dream, not only was I happy, but I only remember screaming Damon's name, only seeing Damon's face...

I stopped. Not only was my heart telling me what I should do, but my dreams, my subconscious was also telling me who I belonged with. And I knew, my head finally caught up with my heart, no longer scared of what was to come, but just alive with the thought of loving someone who I thought I could never love. I was in a state of bliss, so happy I couldn't even believe this was reality.

I was shocked as someone entered my room-snatched me-blindfolded me- and before I knew it, I was in the trunk of someone's car. I was scared as the car drove off into the distance. Little did I know that my fate was catching up to me. And as I felt my life start to mean something again, it was going to be taken away from me...