Chapter 4

A/N Happy birthday Tynianrex! Hope you enjoyed your day off.

Okay, so the funny is not back yet, so I tried alcohol :)

I don't own Chuck.

Chuck was sitting behind the nerdherd desk, daydreaming about the night before. At least there's one good thing to be said for long absences. His thoughts were interrupted.

"Hey, buddy, is Sarah still mad?" Morgan did a quick check to make sure the blonde spy wasn't in sight. Chuck turned to Morgan, schooling his goofy grin into his best 'my-girlfriend-is-gonna-kill-you-and-you're-on-your-own' expression. Well, something that would resemble that look had it existed before today. "Oh crap, you're mad at me too. Look, Chuck, I was just trying to help…and you were busy…and Sarah wanted to…I thought she wanted to…"

"It didn't occur to you to text her back and just say I'm busy?"

"Chuck, you don't leave a girl like that hanging…"

"Morgan," Chuck cut him off, "first of all, you don't send messages like that to your best friend's girlfriend and second, you don't pretend to be said best friend when you do so."

"But Chuck…" Morgan whined.

"Don't but Chuck me, Morgan. How would you feel if you and Alex were sexting…"

"Casey would kill me." Once again he scanned the store, this time for the Colonel.

"Okay, bad example. What if, when you and Anna were still together, she sextexted you and you found out later that it was actually Jeff using Anna's phone?" Chuck cringed as he said it. Major brain stamp.

Morgan paled. "Chuck, that is just…it's just," he visible shivered, "no, no, no, no…I need brain bleach."

"Exactly. Now do you understand how Sarah feels?"

Morgan nodded slowly. "So what's she planning to do to me?"

"I don't know, Morgan." Chuck realized that he didn't have to lie to his best friend. He must remember to thank Sarah later for still looking out for him.

"But you're not going to help her, right Chuck?" Chuck started to feel sorry for his buddy, but then Morgan just had to go and shoot himself in the foot, "I mean bro's before h…"

"Morgan, if you finish that sentence, I swear…" Morgan was saved by Gretha, who suddenly needed his help with the vending machine. Chuck narrowed his eyes as they walked away. He would bet anything that that was Sarah's doing. He was starting to get a new respect, laced with a tiny bit of fear, for his girlfriend.

Chuck noticed the time and with an "Oh, crap," he released the trap door into Castle. Turning on his back to slide down easier, he said a little thank you prayer that he did his own laundry and wouldn't have to explain to Sarah or Ellie why there's dirt marks on the back of his white shirt. As the entrance to Castle drew neared, he lifted his legs and prepared to stick out his arm to grab onto the desk leg to perform his signature 'Chuck's in the Castle' move as soon as he hit the floor. The door opened and…

BAM!

"Owww! What the f….?" Chuck opened his knees a little to see what he, or rather his butt, hit. "Oh, Sarah," he muttered, "you didn't."

Sarah heard the commotion and rushed to Chuck who was lying on the floor. "Are you okay, Chuck?"

"Yeah," he answered as he got up and dusted the seat of his pants. That's gonna leave a mark.

"Why didn't you use the stairs?"

"Because I'm late and the shoot is more fun…or supposed to be. What is all this?" He motioned to the boxes stacked all around Castle. The monitor beeped before Sarah could respond.

"Why's she in DC anyway?" Chuck whispered.

"She had a hair appointment."

"Because no one ties a bun like Franco?"

"It's a French roll and his name is Mark," Sarah whispered back as the General's face appeared on screen.

"'cause that makes it better," he muttered under his breath, earning him a stern look from Sarah.

"Agent Walker, Agent Bartowski. What's so urgent that it couldn't wait for me to get back to Burbank?"

Sarah cleared her throat. "Ma'am, Chuck and I were out grocery shopping yesterday and when we picked up some grape soda for Morgan, Chuck had a flash."

"Chuck flashed on grape soda?"

"Yes, ma'am. We have reason to believe that it may be poisoned." Chuck had to employ all his spy skills not to turn and gape at Sarah.

Beckman squinted her eyes. "Who would want to poison grape soda?"

Sarah decided that roping one of the known terrorist groups into this may be taking it a bit far. "Quite honestly, ma'am, we don't know yet, but Colonel Casey will perform tests on the merchandise I've obtained and I will check out the manufacturer. I've already requested that all operations be shut down." Chuck swallowed and tried to look inconspicuous. Luckily Sarah was leading the briefing.

"And exactly how much merchandise have you obtained, Agent Walker?"

"Everything within a fifty mile radius, General."

"But why grape soda?"

"We believe that whoever did this want to use a test group of sorts, General." Chuck almost jumped as Casey joined them. "Seeing as the market for grape soda is relatively small, it would be easier to determine the effect of the poison. And it wouldn't create a panic just yet." Chuck couldn't believe that Casey was lying to Beckman. He really didn't want Morgan to date Alex.

"I suppose that makes sense. Get on this right away and let me know what you find."

"Yes, General," Casey responded as the screen went blank. Chuck turned to them, looking quite shocked and impressed at the same time.

"And what are we going to find?" He looked from Casey to Sarah. They just shrugged.

"Nothing, of course. All we need to do is wait a while and fill in some reports stating that there was no threat," Sarah explained.

"Okay and just how long is a while?"

"About five to forty-five days."

"Are you telling me that Morgan is going to have to survive on the three cans of grape soda in the fridge for the next week or six?"

"You mean those three cans?" Sarah pointed to the sodas stacked on the desk and Casey gave an amused grunt.

Chuck's eyes widened. "Oh my gosh you're thorough."

Sarah passed behind Chuck, stroking a palm over his bruised butt. Leaning up she whispered seductively in his ear "I was hoping by now you'd know that about me."

A/N If anyone have any ideas on making this funnier, please let me know. Also, all you Morgan experts, how do you think he's going to react to this?