Chapter 3 – The Vigil

She never thought it would happen, but it did. Staring at him laying on the bed through the hospital window, Lulu wondered when did it happen? She was sure how it happened, but Lulu could not wrap her head around when. Watching Elizabeth check the machines while Dr. Webber and Dr. Drake conducted the exam, she couldn't shake this feeling that it was not him. There was not one inch of skin that was not swaddled in a bandage. His face swollen beyond recognition. She would not have recognized him if not for the tattoo on his bicep and the ring on his finger.

Lulu closed her eyes remembering when she bought the ring in that antique shop on 5th Street. He did not want to wear a ring, but Lulu wanted him to have one nonetheless...so when he was not with her, he could look down at his hand and see the enduring symbol of her love for him. Lulu knew that the ring needed to be extraordinary...to demonstrate a life lived. She knew that a new ring just did not feel right...seemingly impersonal...shiny, yes...modern, yes...but his soul had depths she was still discovering. The ring she wanted him to have should reflect that and she knew with unfailing certainty that it could not be found in any jewelry shop.

She knew exactly who could help her find the perfect ring. Al, the owner of Hidden Treasures Antiques would go to the ends of the earth to find it. And he did. Al found the platinum etched antique ring for her from an estate sale. The moment she saw it she knew it had to be his. She did not even change the inscription on the inside of ring because it said exactly what was in her heart, "Forever began when we met." But looking at him now laying listlessly in that hospital bed, he was a stranger to her. His body was physically present, but he wasn't there. She couldn't feel him anymore. Forever was not long enough.

Dr. Webber and Elizabeth were huddled together looking at x-rays, passing papers back and forth when she entered the room. Neither one taking note of her presence. Lulu walked around the bed and pulled up a chair and sat next to him. His eyes were swollen shut and his head wrapped in gauze. She desperately needed to look into his eyes, to see him smile, but the IV drip sedating him would not allow it.

Grasping his hand, Lulu fingered his wedding ring. His hand looked so small and battered. Yet, everything about him was larger than life. She knew that the first time they met at Jake's. She was annoyed by his eavesdropping at first, but knew she was a goner when he flashed that smile and used one cheesy pick up line after another. Lulu knew that evening that he was different. The word sounds so cliché, but he was like no man she'd ever met before. Strong, earnest and persistent. To say she was wary is an understatement. He seemed too good to be true; too charming, too sexy, too passionate. Well maybe not. It wasn't that Lulu did not want to trust him. She did not trust herself. Lulu closed herself off. Too many before did not take care with her heart and she built a fortress around it to protect herself. He knew he loved Lulu...and he had the patience to wait for her to realize how much he loved her. He never gave up on Lulu and she won't give up on him now.

It's a miracle that any healing goes on in a hospital. His room is a cacophony of beeps, buzzes, and thumps. People moving in and out on the half hour like clockwork. Taking his vitals, drawing blood, injecting medication, but never regarding him. Not seeing the brave, courageous man he is. Lulu resisted the urge to scream STOP. They just need to let him rest. Leave him alone. Stop touching him. Just let him heal, so he can come back to me...to us.

Lulu brought his hand to her lips. Moving his fingers across her face hoping this touch will send a signal to his subconscious to keep him fighting. She gently kissed each digit to punctuate the need for him to come back. She whispered into his palm, "I love you."

Lulu closed his fingers around her touch, kisses and words and placed his hand on his chest. Lulu leaned forward inches from his ear and said, "I know you hear me. Now feel my love. Let it heal you." She pulled her head back searching his face for some recognition. Nothing.

Feeling defeated and overwhelmed, Lulu fell back onto the chair and raked her hand through her hair. Her vigil has taken its toll. Lulu looked down at her clothes and noticed the blood stains, her dress in tatters. She thought, "What if he did wake up and saw me like this? I should go home and change but I can't bring myself to go home, our home. Home. I remember the first time he used that word. When he asked me to move in with him. True to form I was scared. Afraid that we would lose ourselves, but he would not be deterred. He didn't just give me a key. He made room for me.

Lulu chuckled as she remembered the unconventional way he asked her to move in with him. He invited her over to the loft for dinner and told her he had a gift for her. After dinner, he blindfolded her and walked her over to the closet door wrapped in a bright pink bow. The only way he could think to ask me to move in was to present me with my very own closet. He gutted the closet and installed the closet organizer of any girl's dreams. When I opened the closet door, I saw dangling on a lone hanger a key on a keychain that read, Our Home.

Lulu pulled out the keychain from her pocket and fingered the ridges on the key, turning it over in her hand crying softly. She spoke quietly to him, "I would rather stay dressed like this forever than go back to the loft without you. It is not home unless you are with me."

The hum of the machines helping him breathe, keeping his heart beating began to shrill awakening Lulu. The noise make her aware that her fingers interlaced with his were cold. The panic and fear she had spent the last few days pushing down were fighting their way to the surface. Lulu searched his face to see some glimmer from him, a sign of hope. Through the swelling his face seemed vacant, blank.

Lulu cried, "Baby, please don't leave me. Hold on. We have so much to live for. We are so close to having it all."

Lulu moved away from the bed as a swarm of people descended on him; shouting orders, poking, pulling, pushing. She stepped back into the shadowed corner of the room and watched as they assaulted his body in the name of science.

The din of the alarms and yelling began to fade as Lulu caressed her very pregnant belly murmuring, "Don't worry about Daddy. He won't let anything stop him from meeting you."